February 09, 2007
Astronaut Diapers.
I'm sorry. I just can't stop thinking about those diapers.
One assumes that they are better than the diapers mere civilians use on their kids. But how much better?--will they really keep pee-pee and poo-poo off one's auto upholstery?
Should civilian toddlers have them? How about civilian seniors, who are stuck using Depends? How about truck drivers? Is this an example of aerospace elitism?
And from a long-distance driving perspective, isn't they useless unless one either has a double gas tank, or a hybrid vehicle? One has to gas up anyway, so why not take an extra two minutes and pee?
Personally, I think one should stop every few hours anyway, even on the relatively short trips I make: 375 miles to the Bay Area, circa 400 to Phoenix, Arizona. I can make it to either location in 5.5 hours as long as I only make a single stop, and treat the speed limits as "living documents."
Fact: my cantankerous grandfather lived in Whittier, but had a cabin in Idyllwild, a few hours away (this was in the 1960s-1970s, before every thoroughfare in SoCal was jammed 24/7, and a virtual parking lot on Friday evenings). One wouldn't think that a drive of a few hours would be so difficult, especially for a man, but he actually drilled a hole in the bottom of his jeep, and attached a hose to it. With a funnel at the end.
Not that I come from a family of sick fucks, or anything like that.
Posted by: Attila Girl at
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1
We jest, but this is a really important issue when you know you are going to be breathing and bathing in whatever ISN'T contained for the duration of the zero-gravity flight.
The Disposable Absorption Containment Trunk(DACT) for female astronauts is sort of like a pad-type "diaper" system built into a pair of thin bicycle shorts, without the Spandex. Velcro straps assure a tight fit at the thighs. Gel-suspension technology holds the actual waste between several absorptive and nonabsorptive layers for comfort, including a non-woven one-way layer. It is designed primarily for urine collection--although it can handle "unplanned" emissions from other sources. Astronauts are on a schedule for food intake, thus normal bowel movements can be predicted and scheduled, and are intended for the zero-gravity toilets.
Men get their own design, based on gender-related physiology. A roll-on cuff encases the you-know-what, leading into a bag-type structure for urine containment, which can be emptied into the spacecraft's waste containment/processing system. Men get 950cc of capacity vs 900cc for females. The former is about 32oz, if you haven't done the conversion in your head.
A man's prostate enlarges and his bladder capacity decrease with age, starting at about the 50 year-marker. Half-hour trips can become a problem, so give your grandfather a little empathy. Isn't that why they make those juice bottles with the large neck? You know the ones that truckers throw out their windows and you see on the side of the road. And, no. That's not apple juice inside.
Posted by: Darrell at February 09, 2007 01:46 PM (dJGMN)
2
The diapers will help her lawyer when he prepares her insanity defense.
Posted by: John at February 09, 2007 06:47 PM (w8JhF)
3
Astronaut diapers saved the day during STS-57 on June 28, 1993. Nancy Sherlock performed an impromptu plumbing job on the Environmental Control Systems Flight Experiment, a study of wastewater purification equipment that may be used aboard future spacecraft. During the flight, experimenters had seen a reduced flow of water through the device and opted to perform the maintenance procedure. Sherlock loosened a fitting on one water line inside the experiment, wrapped the loose fitting with an absorbent DIAPER, and, using a laptop computer onboard, turned a pump on the experiment into reverse for about 20 minutes in an attempt to flush out the clog.
Posted by: Darrell at February 09, 2007 09:40 PM (ICj1a)
4
Along with my feminist sisters, I'm going to hold my breath until the PATRIARCHAL PHYSIOLOGY of female urination is improved, and we
1) can pee standing up, and
2) have directional control over the fluid dispensing.
If my demands are not met, I'll starting growing out my leg hair again, so help me God.
Posted by: Attila Girl at February 09, 2007 10:11 PM (0CbUL)
5
STS-121 Mission Trivia:
Wake-up calls-
Day 8: "All Star", by Smash Mouth, for Lisa Nowak, from her family.
Title of AOL "Research & Learn" article on Lisa Nowak--"Lisa Nowak: Astronaut on a Mission"
Posted by: Darrell at February 09, 2007 10:18 PM (ICj1a)
6
Would that help? I mean the hair-growing part. Obviously, breath control is always helpful when aiming.
Astronaut diapers can never get into civilian hands because it would spell the end of all male/female communications.
"Stop THAT!"
"What?"
"You're doing it right now, aren't you?"
"I have no idea what you are talking about"
"You're doing it right now, I can tell by the stupid expression on your face."
"I'm not doing anything. That must be my usual stupid expression."
"You do it every time we talk. It's rude. And borders on sexual harassment! Stop it!"
Take 2--
"You're doing it right now, aren't you?"
"I don't know what you're talking about!"
"You are, aren't you?"
"You're sick! You are one sick bastard!"
"I'm not the one doing it."
"I'm not doing anything. Mind your own damn business!"
Guess the genders in those conversations. Word on the street is that they had to add two years to the astronaut training program when women came into the program because of these types of conversations. And that is with highly intelligent, highly educated, goal-dedicated professionals. Just think what would happen if we all wore them every day!
Posted by: Darrell at February 09, 2007 10:44 PM (ICj1a)
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I like: "I'm not doing anything. That must be my usual stupid expression."
Posted by: Attila Girl at February 10, 2007 09:40 PM (0CbUL)
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Experience is always the best dialogue coach.
Posted by: Darrell at February 11, 2007 08:32 PM (UwdCz)
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So I hear . . .
Posted by: Attila Girl at February 11, 2007 08:55 PM (0CbUL)
10
Atilla, Atilla, haven't you learned how yet?
Here: http://www.myvag.net/pee/standing/
Posted by: Desert Cat at February 12, 2007 03:49 PM (B2X7i)
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November 22, 2006
If the shoe glove fits
Presented without further comment:
Posted by: Pixy Misa at
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May 13, 2006
What's the Opposite
. . . of "Independently Wealthy"?
Posted by: Attila Girl at
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Sponging off of someone else. Like John Kerry.
Posted by: John at May 13, 2006 11:45 AM (egas2)
Posted by: William Teach at May 13, 2006 02:37 PM (doAuV)
Posted by: Sean Hackbarth at May 13, 2006 03:33 PM (RiZPJ)
Posted by: Jack at May 13, 2006 05:33 PM (ieGs9)
5
Government support.
Welfare.
Public housing.
Socialism.
and my number one,..
Communism. (except for the leaders, I heard Fiedel Castro is worth 1 billion)
Posted by: Jack at May 13, 2006 05:36 PM (ieGs9)
6
Damn! Sean got there first
Posted by: beautifulatrocities at May 13, 2006 05:44 PM (RLlw5)
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There's always 'dependently poor.' 'Dependent' will do in a pinch. Or moocher, parasite, or indigent.
Posted by: Darrell at May 13, 2006 07:37 PM (5TfP6)
8
Sponging off of someone else. Like John Kerry.
I belive that's called
marrying up. Kinda like what Theresa Heinz-Kerry did...
Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at May 14, 2006 05:15 AM (1hM1d)
9
Being a remittance man (or woman).
Posted by: miriam at May 17, 2006 06:30 AM (6Ri1P)
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March 11, 2006
Good News, Bad News
1) I have sadly decided that I will not be driving up to the San Francisco Bay Area tomorrow, after all. There's just too much that needs to be done around here—particularly with the imminent threat of employment in the air, and my niece coming by at the end of the month. (It takes a while for all the systems to be in place when one is trying to spoil young relatives.)
2) There will therefore be time to finish painting my bathroom.
3) Very little, if any of the time saved by staying home will go into my blog.
4) I fully intend to figure out how to live-blog my next road trip, whether via cell phone or by stopping off at hotspots along the way.
So you have that going for you.
Posted by: Attila Girl at
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1
So what's the good news?
Posted by: Sean Hackbarth at March 11, 2006 11:21 PM (2myVv)
2
For my readers: there will be a live-blogged road trip in the future, complete with photos.
For me: I might get the bathroom painted, and will finish clearing out the guest room in time for my niece's visit.
For you: per one of my readers' suggestions, I'll be doing booze reviews here, so I'll be able to ship off to you some of the overflow, if it appears to be more in your line than in mind. I thought you could do beer, Guinness, and tequila, and I'll handle gin, Theakston's bitter, and whisky. Vodka is still up for grabs.
Posted by: Attila Girl at March 11, 2006 11:51 PM (s96U4)
3
Whatever you send will be fine with me, as long at the ATF doesn't complain.
Posted by: Sean Hackbarth at March 11, 2006 11:55 PM (2myVv)
4
Well, you know: I decided a long time ago that BATF doesn't really want to know stuff. Otherwise, clearly, they'd be nicer about it when they found out.
Posted by: Attila Girl at March 11, 2006 11:59 PM (s96U4)
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October 04, 2005
Photon Courier
has a rather sickening little
story about health-care standards in the EU.
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February 20, 2005
The Outrage of Gannon/Guckert
Paul over at
Wizbang is discussing how, now that the whole gay bashing thing by the left hasn't worked (though, it is still continuing), the Left is pushing the "gannon wasn't a journalist" angle. He links to an interesting story regarding how many of the White House press corps view this "controversy."
Let's face it: the Left has nothing else. No one is really listening, and even Big Media has been ignoring them as of late. Leftist web sites such as the Democratic underground and the Daily Kos serve mostly to feed each other, not be opinion changers for the middle of the road folks, while we see the Right side reaching out to not only the base, but to those whose minds can be changed. Heck, I am one of those people. I'll admit it. I voted for Clinton's 2nd term and for Gore. I will vote for who I see as the best candidate at the time, after carefull consideration. There is no possible way this shat-slinging from the Left would persuade me to vote Dem. I may never vote for a Dem ever again, the way they are going, no matter how good the candidate.
more...
Posted by: William Teach at
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"I'll admit it. I voted for Clinton's 2nd term and for Gore"
It's ok now, it is all in the past. You have to learn to forgive yourself. Let it go. We have all made mistakes, HORRIBLE mistakes like that. But we pick up the pieces and we move on. I know the psychological scares may never heal but we are here for you if you ever have to....you know... relive that voting experience. Cry, howl, just let it all out. We understand.....;-)
Posted by: Rightwingsparkle at February 20, 2005 09:37 PM (9VmV1)
2
Also, I say we out Kos. You just KNOW he has a meth lab in his basement or something.
Posted by: Rightwingsparkle at February 20, 2005 09:39 PM (9VmV1)
3
Well, I voted for Clinton the first time. I didn't the second time, because I was starting to have issues with his take on gun-rights issues.
To me, the distinction between Gannon and Rather or Jordan would be, as you point out, the substantive issues raised re: Rather or Jordan, vs. this ever-changing kaleidescope of arguments the lefties bring up regarding Gannon--most of which are so silly that they look like a thin veneer for the gay-baiting angle.
Posted by: Attila Girl at February 20, 2005 10:26 PM (hLWZC)
4
At this point, the only thing the Left has is scalp hunting. They are digging and digging and digging for something that isn't there. They somehow made a jump that Gannon is linked to the Plame case, for instance. No evidence as of yet. How fast did those investigating Rathergate find the links to Burkett and the DNC? Fast. Almost everything was known after the same amount of time that the Gannon thing has been going on.
Posted by: William Teach at February 21, 2005 05:16 AM (HxpPK)
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February 18, 2005
The Decline of Liberalism
Via The New Republic (free registration req'd), is an article about the
decline of Liberalism:
Ask yourself: Who is a truly influential liberal mind in our culture? Whose ideas challenge and whose ideals inspire? Whose books and articles are read and passed around? There's no one, really. What's left is the laundry list: the catalogue of programs (some dubious, some not) that Republicans aren't funding, and the blogs, with their daily panic dose about how the Bush administration is ruining the country.
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So, William Teach
. . . from
Pirate's Cove will keep the home fires burning here for the next 3-4 days as I head out of town until Monday (or possibly Tuesday, to avoid holiday traffic).
He's holding down the weekend, so if there is a gap it'll be on Monday. You'll all live: just check out my blogroll, which has some fine readin'. Or you could hang out at Jeff's, or Jeff's. But before you resort to any of that, click on my advertiser's banners: Photon Courier is the master of the short, brilliant essay on economic trends and management philosophy (along with about ten other interesting subjects), and Wizbang! is . . . Wizbang! He should be a daily stop for you, you know. They both should.
I'll be able to post once or twice if my mother's getting along with technology these days. I won't if she isn't.
William will probably bring a little necessary testosterone to the place, as that other eminent pirate did for Ith, when he guest-blogged at Absinthe and Cookies a few months back.
Now, you all be good, and don't do anything I wouldn't do. (Or, you know—if you do, post pix.)
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May 08, 2004
Back in the City of the Fallen Angels
I didn't hit the road today until 1:00 or so, so I didn't get back home until 6:45. That's 5 3/4 hours, and not quite my personal best along Highway 5 (that would be five and a half hours).
We used to consider the LA-Bay Area trek (and vice versa) a 7-8 hour trip, but that includes things like meal breaks, which I'm far too butch to engage in. (I have snacks in the car, supplemented by cold cans of Coke obtained at gas stations when I gas up and pee.)
Driving is the most wonderful thing--particularly when there's no discussion with the CHP; frankly, I don't miss our heart-to-heart chats. It's been years.
Particularly when you have a tape in the car with a few full-on rock numbers to get you over the grapevine. Today it was "Los Angeles," by X (how appropriate), and "Ain't This the Life," by Oingo Boingo (also pretty appropriate).
I'm considering getting a convertible as my next car. One hopes my practical side will take the reins before I do such a thing, but one never knows: it's beautiful outside right now, and the PT Cruiser has a turbo version.
I'm tired, sweaty, and covered in road dust. I'll be in bed soon, sleeping the sleep of the okay. The sleep of the not-too-egregious.
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