I need to know how it affects the probability that the tiny moth inside my car will eventually leave the Cruiser if I open the windows.

And what that experience might be like from the moth's point of view. If there are any paratroopers who read blogs, they might be able to tell me. (And when, BTW, did we stop using paratroopers for our regular armed forces; do they still have them in Special Forces? They must. Please advise.)

(To comment on this entry, go to the new Little Miss Attila Blog.)

Posted by: Attila Girl at 08:57 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 106 words, total size 1 kb.

1 paratroopers == airborne, such as the 82nd and 101st. Most (all?) special operators have their airborne badge. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Master_Parachutist_Badge

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at November 21, 2008 10:24 AM (1hM1d)

2 I need to know how it affects the probability that the tiny moth inside my car will eventually leave the Cruiser if I open the windows. It affects the probability proportionally to 1-√(v²/c² where v is the relative velocity between the moth and the car. If the moth is moving at 5 cm/sec, this is around 0.9999999998 --- in other words, about 2 parts in 10 billion. And what that experience might be like from the moth's point of view. A whole lot like when the car is stopped. The wind moving into the windows, though, probably cause it a lot of trouble. And when, BTW, did we stop using paratroopers for our regular armed forces...? What you mean "we"?

Posted by: Charlie (Colorado) at November 21, 2008 02:03 PM (bE/kw)

3 I need to know how it affects the probability that the tiny moth inside my car will eventually leave the Cruiser if I open the windows. It affects the probability proportionally to 1-√(v²/c² where v is the relative velocity between the moth and the car. If the moth is moving at 5 cm/sec, this is around 0.9999999998 --- in other words, about 2 parts in 10 billion. And what that experience might be like from the moth's point of view. A whole lot like when the car is stopped. The wind moving into the windows, though, probably cause it a lot of trouble. And when, BTW, did we stop using paratroopers for our regular armed forces...? What you mean "we"?

Posted by: Charlie (Colorado) at November 21, 2008 02:06 PM (bE/kw)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

How fun. (And, as a reader reminds me—NOT SAFE FOR WORK!)

Make fun of the Bay Area all you want, but some of them aren't so full of themselves that they can't have a little good, clean fun by taking off their clothes.

There are worse things that people do for recreation.

I believe I may have an unusual number of friends who are nudists. Of course, I may also have a higher-than usual proportion of left-handed friends.

Too bad the next President isn't going to be a nudist. Somehow, that prospect would fill me with a wicked glee.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 09:16 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 105 words, total size 1 kb.

Harrell on friendship, which he claims to be rather bad at:

If I can’t have friends, and I can’t just give up on friendship, then can’t I at least — please — learn better to recognize the point at which I should stop throwing good money after bad?

It happens to me every time, man. Things go very well for a while. But then they turn sour, and then they suck. And eventually I reach a point where I just have to say “This isn’t going to work, give up on this, try to forget this and move on.” But I always seem to do it about a month after I should have done it in the first place.

A month? Some of us do it for years or decades. Harrell—you might be a more prudent emotional investor than you think.

I'm good at friendship, because I share who I am relatively easily, and I can be extraordinarily open with people from the get-go. And I'm fiercely loyal.

I've been hard on my friends for the past year or two, because I've been so unhappy; that's hard for people to watch. But after years of making deposits, it's not a horrible thing to withdraw from a handful of accounts for a period of time.

* * *

Why did I remember to go to Harrell's blog, though I haven't been there for a while? Ah, yes: today's tweet from him:I'm doing my part to take us into a post-racist century by trying to bone as many bi-racial chicks as possible.

It reminds me of something Professor Fractal once said, back when he was single: "Not only do I think the races should be mixed, but I want to mix them personally. I doubt he remembers saying it, either. I should remind him, maybe via one of his students, or his wife (who would get a good laugh out of it).

* * *

My father once told me that the most important things in life are friendship, money, and sex. Before you jump all over that, let me just point out that the man knew what he wanted; many people, after all, don't.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 11:44 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 369 words, total size 2 kb.

The question is: to what degree—or when—is it a virtue to hide it?

Very often, it is. But when it isn't, it really isn't.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 12:34 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 44 words, total size 1 kb.

After all, the fruit juice will wear off eventually, and then I'll get hungry. Then I truly won't be able to sleep unless I eat something, which is asking a bit much of my system.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 03:19 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 45 words, total size 1 kb.

Let's say you call someone from your cell phone. They ask for your zip code, but it's a different one from the billing address.

Can they find you?

Posted by: Attila Girl at 03:10 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 32 words, total size 1 kb.

Or, as James Joyner would have it, "hell or New York City."

The terms are too general for me, inasmuch as a lot of quiet streets lined with condo developments and apartment buildings are still considered "suburbs" by some definitions, and the "suburbs" I lived in for almost a dozen years were pretty extreme in their degree of isolation from any conveniences.

I think my husband's jury is still out most of the time because the noise levels are so high here (although the shrieking of neighborhood children, while shrill, cannot compete with the occasional sound of a rabbit dying via coyote or owl—that was severe).

Of course, when it's time to pay the bills, the husband is back on board with this.

And both of us love, love, love being able to walk to the store, to church, to a restaurant.

And I filled up my gas tank all of twice in July, which rawked.

P.S. James, I don't have any degrees at all. Not a one. But I'm willing to bluff my way through things, which is an ability that my mom—a schoolteacher—impressed upon me many years ago.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 12:48 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 202 words, total size 1 kb.

Sadly, you can't choose the people you fall in love with.

—Al Stewart

Is that a cop-out? Discuss.

I saw him live, once. Mid-80s. It was fun.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 12:11 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 35 words, total size 1 kb.

Just happened; nothing broke, and the power's still on, but it seemed to go on for a minute or so. It was one of those rolling types. Afterward, I suggested it had been five-something, but A the H insisted it was six-something.

'Course there's no way of knowing until we find out where the epicenter was, and how things were there. (UPDATE: Chino Hills.)

More later.

UPDATE: 5.8.

It's so funny, because the house in La Canada was always shaking—whenever a big truck drove by there'd be a bit of a shiver, since the place was built on stilts (well, I-beams and cables—it was eccentrically engineered, built more like a bridge than a house).

So for a split second there was this "is this . . .?" But of course it was: it wasn't just the shaking, but with a quake there's always this noise. The big ones set off car alarms, but this time it was only my martini glasses tinkling against my Waterford crystal. I remember vaguely hoping that if something had to break, it'd be a martini glass (or a cheap wine glass) instead of the Waterford. But nothing actually broke here. After a moment I got up, just in case it wanted to get worse—I'm from the generation that likes to get into a doorframe, or under a sturdy table, if things get intense, like they did in 1994—at least, I like to look around and make sure I'm not close to any windows or mirrors. The shaking still wasn't too vigorous, and I could tell it was that rolling type of earthquake, rather than the sudden violent spikey more-destructive kind, so I didn't imagine it was going to get bad.

But I wandered into the hallway; my husband had come out of the den, and we just sort of looked at each other for a moment.

"Everything okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, fine," I answered, but as I said it I mentally calculated how long it would take us to get to the two bathroom doorways if the shaking got more intense (it's usually best to have one person in each doorway, to be able to watch for the closing of any doors, though two in a doorway isn't horrible; it's about protecting one's head in case there's some sort of structural collapse or falling plaster).

And then, of course, it was over in another moment, just as I'd suspected it would be. And we made our best guesses about where it had placed on the Richter scale—naturally, I was right, because that's the sort of thing I'm right about.

Now let's all locate our flashlights and our candles and our lanterns and our backup canned foods, shall we? And buy a few extra gallons of water to keep around the house, mmkay?

Posted by: Attila Girl at 10:48 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 473 words, total size 3 kb.

on the Obama speech tonight.

With all three candidates giving major speeches, I threw my hands up in the air and boycotted television this evening.

(Some of you will ask how this differs from an ordinary night. It's simple: I didn't watch TV, but I didn't feel guilty about it. So there.)

Posted by: Attila Girl at 02:11 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 62 words, total size 1 kb.

Is it rude to ride around Glendale, with its high Armenian population, with the They Might Be Giants song "Constantinople" blaring from one's car?

(I swear: I don't have any idea how Tiny Toons got in that vid: I had no idea that they'd done a version of That Byzantium Song—much less one that featured Elmyra!

But I have to go, because I'm sailing for Byzantium now: I hear it has a lot of stuff in it that's made of gold. I likes me some gold.)

Posted by: Attila Girl at 11:53 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 92 words, total size 1 kb.

But, you know: it is parked on a public street, Babe.

Push me too far, and I'll get it jump-started, re-register it, and park it across the street from you.

Then you can look at it every day. And so can the neighbors across the street who got us cited by the city for leaving our trash cans on the street overnight, the night before trash day. And oh, what fun you'll have with them, in any event!

(I know, I know: A the H won't agree to insuring the old car for another few months, and it's a mean, petty idea anyway. But somehow at this moment the notion really pleases me.

Perhaps I am a mean, petty person. Or perhaps I'm still recovering from a particularly grueling move, and tomorrow I'll go jump-start the honorable old warhorse, like a good girl.)

Posted by: Attila Girl at 03:49 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 169 words, total size 1 kb.

By the time I have these systems installed in my parents' homes, I'm hoping they will have a red alert—complete with flashing alarm and buzzers—that will let me know if they have any fun, so I can call them up and tell 'em to knock it off.

Of course, 3-4 decades down the line when my nieces and nephews are catering to my every whim looking after me, all the kinks will be worked out, and I'll get notices by email: "the System tells us you didn't get out of bed today. Are you all right?"

"Fine," I'll respond. "I was just reading a good book, so I didn't bother. However, I'm on my last 100 pages or so, and I know who the killer is, anyway. Bring over some more weed, booze, and pizza, mmkay?"

Oh. I mean, "medical marijuana." Does THC go bad? 'Cause, like, maybe I should be stocking up now.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 07:18 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 174 words, total size 1 kb.

Yup. I started going to my local one several years ago, after I gave up acrylic tips on my fingernails, and just had my toes done when I felt like it (usually during the summer).

The Vietnamese salon doesn't just have better prices than the white-run salon: it also has "spa chairs," in which one sits up high in a massaging chair with a basin of water underneath it, and less guilt (the women don't have to hunch down quite as far to reach one's toes). They throw in a few minutes of massage for free, and one can pay an extra five bucks for an extra five minutes.

There is also a Korean-run salon near one of my main clients' offices, and that is more unusual on the West Coast, though I understand in New York there are a number of Korean manicurists.

I think it's kind of cool that there are professions immigrants can study in their native languages to ease the transition into this country.

Oh, wait: I must pander to my culturally far-right, border-obsessed readers. Sorry. I'm outraged that instruction is offered in Vietnamese; people must learn English if they intend to live here! IT'S CALLED ASSIMILATION! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!!!!!one!!!!eleven!!!

h/t: Virginia Postrel.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 11:00 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 225 words, total size 1 kb.

. . . on seeing American culture with fresh eyes, from drinking to our restaurants' odd notions about portion sizes. I handle the portion-size thing by always getting a takeout container (and very often keeping a small ice chest in the back of my car); I don't know how I'd cope if I lived in a city that depended on public transportation. I guess I'd get appetizers for dinner whenever I went out. Or maybe I'd just waste a lot of food.

There is something about New York City that's ridiculously invigorating. It's just so . . . city-like. Vaguely reminiscent of San Francisco or Chicago, but ever so much more so.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 05:26 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 118 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Thanks for the link! Re. the restaurant thing, I've been getting them to pack up what I can't finish, but now that the weather is turning warmer, I'll have to think things through a bit better first. The public transportation thing isn't usually a problem--we walk or take cabs--but not going home directly after dinner is.

Posted by: Sean Kinsell at May 14, 2008 07:11 AM (qUYIO)

2 The two things I've done (besides ordering appetizer-size portions) are: (1) eating vegetarian when I go out [because it takes things longer to spoil if meat isn't part of the equation]; carrying those folding nylon lunch boxes/mini-coolers with me [the soft-sided ones--I use a six-pack size, but the make 'em smaller]; and (3) if premeditation is required [that is, if I'm going out to dinner and a movie, say] using those pre-frozen mini-blue blocks people use to pack with their lunches, and throwing one of those into the nylon leftover case as an insurance policy. Beyond that, we could stage a revolt, and have normal eaters start picketing American restaurants that don't serve any small portions whatsoever

Posted by: Attila Girl at May 14, 2008 12:10 PM (Hgnbj)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

And we got the asking price. So now we switch back into "condo-shopping" mode, and we are likely to make a really good deal; it's truly a buyer's market down in Glendale.

The buyer's paperwork will take a week to complete, and the contingencies will be removed in 17 days. Once those two watersheds are behind us, we'll know that this deal is solid; if it goes through, we move in early June.

Thanks so much for all your prayers!

Posted by: Attila Girl at 11:52 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 90 words, total size 1 kb.

Which means the Attila the Hub and I will likely be indulging ourselves in a few hours' worth of homelessness this afternoon.

He's a doctor, and pre-approved for a huge amount. So it's worth doing.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 10:33 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 51 words, total size 1 kb.

"By God, I love literature!"

He sends, by way of example, the following quotation:

"Her vagina was all that, as they say in the urban media—a powerful ethnic muscle scented by bitter melon, the breezes of the local sea and the sweaty needs of a tiny nation trying to breed itself into a future."

—Gary Shteyngart, Absurdistan

Fucking Genius.

Well. One couldn't say that about a wrist, or an ankle, or even an armpit. Only about the two main sex organs on the human female: the vagina, and the brain.

Personally, I think my brain smells more like bitter melon than my vagina does.

Great title, Absurdistan. Though Dr. P originally put the title in quotations, suggesting that this was a short story rather than a novel. What do you think?—shall I tell his mom? She's a proofreader, too. All the best women are.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 10:31 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 150 words, total size 1 kb.

I shall be on-duty again as of tomorrow, with "interesting news items," quirky observations, and imaginary bits of dialogue.

The real estate update is this: we did get three offers. One of 'em is for the asking price, and the other two were lowball bids. So we sent them all back with counter-offers, and we didn't have to name an amount: we just asked for their "final price," which should cut down on the dickering. Each party knows that two others are interested in the house, so they are all likely to give a reasonable counter to our counter.

So now they are on the hotseat through tomorrow, and I get the day off. Tomorrow evening I may start sweating again, but it's all good.

As a nice little side-benefit, it looks like all the parties bidding on the property are families, so they'll benefit from the big yard and the good local schools. No one seems to want to tear the place down, which should not be a factor for me—but it is. I do love this place, and knowing the next owners (may) appreciate it does help. Call me weak.

And I'll see you all tomorrow; off I go to have a nice read. If I get back to the keyboard again tonight, I do. If I do not, I do not.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 08:00 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 232 words, total size 1 kb.

the word gullible may not be in Webster's, but it sure is in The Urban Dictionary.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 01:18 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 28 words, total size 1 kb.