October 01, 2008

Who Knew?

Most people have no idea how magazines are put together.

ObamaMccainNature.jpg


My comment:

No, no, no. This is not something that anyone could have "done anything" about, even if it had been noticed.

1) The front cover is put together by the editorial dept and by art. It often involves a completely separate shoot from anything else done for the magazine. Unlike other edit content and artwork, it also has to be seen and signed-off on by the publisher, the circulation manager, and usually several other people. It CAN'T be swapped out at the last minute.

2) The back cover is sold as a back cover--the three most prestigious, non-negotiable positions being a) inside the front cover, b) back cover, c) inside the back cover (also "opposite TOC," "first seven pages," "right page, full edit," etc.--I could go on and on . . .).

3) As magazines are being compiled they are usually laid out on a wall--sometimes two walls (one for editorial, one for advertising). Whoever is doing the final check to make sure that there's no conflict between editorial and advertising is looking for:
- Any ads across from editorial that look too similar (and, no: no sane person worries what C1 and C4 look like together, because THAT'S NOT HOW PEOPLE READ MAGAZINES!).
- Ads with similar content that look like they might be promoting products in the editorial opposite them.
- "Competitive Separation"--IF TWO SIMILAR PRODUCTS HAVE ADS PLACED TOO CLOSE TOGETHER--LESS THAN 5-8 PAGES, SAY--YOU LOSE YOUR JOB.
- Use of bright colors that will "bleed" on a web press, based on the imposition used, and mess up the look of pages that aren't near them chronologically, but will be next to them on the web press.

Had the cover image been one of Condi and Bush, I might have done something about it, since there's a particularly nasty connotation about calling a woman a dog. (Same thing if one of the politicians were from the Middle East.) But as it is, it's just a cute juxtaposition that one has to do something completely unnatural to even see--lay C1 and C4 against each other, which only Martians do. And any equivalence between the cute puppies and the not-as-cute politicians is bipartisan. It's fine.

But moving that ad--promised on C4--means getting that advertiser's permission, as well as the permission of the advertiser on C2 (the only other equivalent position) to swap them, and than making sure that this action didn't create much worse problems for the non-Martians who read magazines in a normal way.

You do that without the permission of the editor, the publisher, and the account reps for both of those advertisers, and you get fired. Which means you have to wake them all up at midnight, and they have to call the clients at midnight.

The cover is FINE. It's cute, but you have to do the Martian thing to even know it's there.

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August 25, 2008

Light Blogging Through Tomorrow.

Getting ready for a contract job that starts this coming week, so I'm taking care of all those little things errands/task become such juicy, tempting endeavors when one is confronted with Real Work.

Particularly when the work in question is proofreading, which is a funny sort of enterprise: it's automatic on a certain level, but one still has to concentrate very very hard. It's like being the Mistake Goalie. And, yes, before you ask: my best positions in soccer when I was a kid were Goalie and Fullback. Fullback being, of course, the last safeguard before the ball got to the goalie. And because I'm small—and a little bit stronger and faster than anyone quite expected, not to mention stubborn as a silky-eared Pit Bull with large teeth and a waggly tail—I was slightly better as a fullback, because when I was goalie if they could get the ball high enough in the air, it was all over.

Being a midget was not much of an advantage in volleyball, either. Nor in basketball.

But I digress. The best part of my body (oh, just shut up) happens to be my eyes, and never mind that I'm farsighted in one and nearsighted in the other, and have astigmatisms in both. Even without glasses, I see stuff no one else sees. (Not dead people; just typos and characters that don't quite align.)

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October 18, 2007

Miles To Go Before I Sleep.

I still have to produce two short articles for my nonprofit organization (on the volunteer side, naturally).

And then I wake up to do some more scut work for the same people—also on the volunteer side.

You may laugh, and I would too. It's also possible/probable that I've taken the volunteerism thing a bit too far. But in volunteer-land I've really learned how to disengage my ego from the work I do, and this has truly helped in terms of how I deal with my clients: Now I know how to can the emotion when it's necessary. I don't have to own every project I work on. I don't have to get my way all the time. I don't have to know everything that's going on around me.

If you want to know the truth, it's rather nice. Now if only the public utility would pay me for the colorful, crazy three weeks I spent with them. I'll give them the full 30 days before I sic mobsters, lawyers, or my mother's pit bull on them.

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September 25, 2007

A First.

A client's invoice recently arrived eight days before it was due. These people have never been a more than a day early before—and they were once 30 days late.

Two possible explanations: (1) the person for whom I actually did the work leaned on accounts payable, hard—in recognition for the fact that I worked my ass off for him last month—or (2) the accountant was having an acid flashback when he wrote the check.

I should send flowers to both these guys; really, I should.

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June 20, 2007

I Dunno.

The client who's signed me up for three weeks in the fall wants eight hours of proofreading a day. As in, that number that's about equidistant between seven and nine. Yipes.

At about Hour Seven today my eyeballs threatened to secede from the rest of my body (actually, it was those little muscles that control pupil size that hurt the most). But the fall gig will make me solvent, at least for a time, and that's a pretty sexy idea.

As I walked out the door of the pub house the fact-checker was still there, and I found myself very thankful I'm no longer trying to do that job and be a backup copyeditor: one cannot handle research and proofreading at the same time. Someone has to concentrate on dates, prices, and proper nouns, and someone else has to look for grammatical errors, typos, unintended double entendres, graphics that don't line up, and excessive word repetition.

So I finally understood today that my getting laid off from the fact-checking end of things was a blessing in disguise. It's better for the organization this way, and a lot better for me. Presumably, I bill at a higher rate than the woman who was looking up arcane facts about refrigerators at 7:00 p.m. tonight. And that's fine, too: after all, I'm older.

And more evil, I suspect.

Darrell, thanks for the care package. I might not be able to pick it up until tomorrow, or perhaps even Friday. But knowiing that it's there makes me feel all warm and gooey inside.

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Another Two-Job Tuesday.

Or, three jobs, if you count the fact that I have two separate accounts at one establishment, and they are "sharing" me right now. Naturally, I avoid that situation like the plague, but Dept B is having an emergency, and needs me. So Dept. A (which had dibs for the day) is being a good sport about it. (Reminder to self: acquire some diplomatic balm, since I may well need it before the week is up. Do they sell that stuff at Office Depot?)

And now I need to wind down, since they'd like me in the office at a normal time tomorrow. The faster I lose consciousness, the better. Would someone come over here and bang me on the head, please? Thank you.

In the meantime, my head is filled with brilliant insights into the human conditions that may never get written down—much less read by anyone. So I shall simply assure you that it's Really Good Stuff.

Ogden Nash:
"Oh, Duty, Duty—why hast thou not the visage
Of a Sweetie, or a cutie?"

Why not, indeed?

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January 23, 2007

DataBase Programs?

I'm looking for a good contact-management program that will run on a Mac. This is for a home-based business, so it doesn't have to be super-powerful: we're talking hundreds rather than thousands of companies.

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December 01, 2006

Life Is Good.

I'll be working for my favorite client today. The one wherein I get to interact with the nice guys at a particular organization.

I swear: it's a damn fine thing. I feel like humming the dwarves' song from Snow White.

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August 17, 2006

"You've Sent Him Notes," He Tells Me.

"You need to call him."

"Like, on the phone?" I practically squeal. My business consultant and decorator is on the line. I've just told him that a client's invoice is at 41 days without payment.

"What shall I say?"

B. explains that I should write it all out, and be nice, but mention that I have other obligations I'd like to meet. I thank him. I hang up. It's 5:00 p.m. I decide I'll call the client tomorrow.

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July 31, 2006

Yes. The Marketing Side of the Business is Growing.

So I guess I'm both a hack and a flack now. Cool. I suppose this means I should buy drinks for myself at MediaBistro parties.

What shall I call this particular outreach? How about "Scourge of Europe Publicity"?

"We pillage the publishing world." It's got that Joy-type of subtlety all over it. Oozing from its every pore.

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June 28, 2006

Best Small Database?

I'm getting to the point where in order to keep track of all my contacts, clients and prospects, I need to set up a small database.

Has to work on a PowerBook. Has to be user-friendly. Has to be non-threatening to English majors.

I'd also like it to peel grapes for me, but that's probably asking a bit much.

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May 30, 2006

So, My Glasses Are Finally Fixed.

They got broken while I was working for The Stepfather and his Stepford Wife. The computer screen was set up at the back of my desk, so the focal point was out past the range of my reading glasses. I don't have bifocals, so I had to keep switching back and forth between my driving and reading glasses. Off, on. Off, on.

Finally one of the screws gave way on my reading glasses while I was reviewing proofs on the July issue. I read all the finals for August without them, fighting headaches all the way. My reward? No time off to get the things fixed. Then I got fired.

O how I miss that job.

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May 29, 2006

It Was Bound to Happen.

I found an error in the book about punctuation. I may cry. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope that the text somehow had to be re-entered for the American edition (or perhaps for paperback), and the British version is actually pure, without blemish.

Eats, Shoots, and Leaves. Now with a typo. Lynne Truss has betrayed my trust.

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April 08, 2006

Still in Shock.

It appears that I have a job. Not just any job, mind you, but a good one.

We'll have a sort of "test run" through the end of this month to make sure we're still in love with each other before I officially go on staff. So on general principle I'm not going to do the typical "new job" things until May: one always wants to get a new briefcase or something like that, but I'll hold off for now. Fortunately, I love my existing briefcase.

I did, however, get all the stuff done on my car today that I've been putting off for months. So I should be able to rely on it for the time being. (I've been researching possible upgrades, but that whole issue can definitely wait. Actually, I hope to trick my husband into getting a new car, so I can just adopt his old-ish one. Because I'm lazy.)

On a certain level, of course, I still consider a staff job as freelancing: one has to have the mindset that an employer—even in a staff gig—is a "client," and to want to be of service in that situation. Naturally, I won't be blogging about work matters or my company. Most of you are aware that I've only identified one client publicly, because I was promoting this person's work and ethics demanded that I disclose the identity for that reason.

In short, I'm afraid that the whole thing will be a bit mysterious from my readers' point of view, but it's an editing job that will combine several of my passions: for technology, for futurology, and for select elements of pop culture.

So you see how it is: even when I had the multiple interviews with possible employers/anchor clients, it didn't feel real, like I'd necessarily get one of these gigs—much less the really juicy one.

Attila the Hub has a saying that is his standard defense against the temptation for pessimism: "remember that anything can happen—even good things."

I hate to admit that Attila the Hub is very often right, but . . . well. You get the idea.

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March 31, 2006

Goodnight.

The staff job possibilities are multiplying: Last week I went in for a "test day" as a bizarre way to interview for one magazine; yesterday, I took a test via e-mail for a second publishing house; and today I'll be getting up very early to interview at yet a third.

Something will pop soon. Let it be one that either has 1) interesting subject matter, or 2) a semi-humane commute. Or both!

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March 23, 2006

Won't Work at Maggie's Farm No More

Hm. Went in for my "audition day," and this doesn't look the the solution to my income problems. The person who attracted me to the company is leaving, and most of the rest of the crew there are barely out of diapers, which means (1) the company very likely can't afford me, and (2) no one has enough experience to see how great I am. Also: (3) if I were to get on-staff there, I'd be reporting to some 20-something. No thanks.

And then there's the fact that no one wanted to either talk to me about their supposed staff opening, or give me real feedback on what I was doing.

I may work freelance for them, but they'd have to make me a sweet offer before I'd be willing to consider settling down there. The thing I imagined was the biggest stumbling block—the commute—was actually the easiest element in the whole day.

I'm going to invoice them for today's work and move on to the next possibility.

It's very easy for me to tell my husband that we shouldn't act out of desperation, and even though we're a bit broke he shouldn't take any gigs that make him uncomfortable. It's quite another to enforce that rule for myself.

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March 02, 2006

A Tale of Two Clients

Most publishers who contemplate some sort of long-term relationship want a test project, which I don't mind doing. Of course, the tests that are strictly copyediting/proofreading can be annoying: particularly the one that was heavy on the foreign words and phrases, but didn't provide a Wester's 10 (the standard paper edition used in most publications right now [online is 11, and also respected]). And the sub-standard dictionary provided didn't contain the particular foreign phrases used. Other than that, it was an open-book test. Want to verify that the accents are right? Well, tough, Girl: you should have majored in French. Not English.

I sometimes wish the industry would just standardize those tests, and license people, so I don't need to go through the motion of acing their tests. Can't someone simply certify me as God's gift to detail?

Mostly these tests take a lot of time, and are graded by people who firmly believe that copyediting is an objective art. It isn't. Even proofreading isn't a completely objective process.

Client #1 sends me a couple of test stories, including one that needs to be cut. This is good thinking, of course: copy-fitting is one of the most delicate tasks an editor needs to perform: it's easy to cut the essentials out by mistake.

So, so far so good.

Then the client's wrangler asks if I have an example of a story I've edited, and I have to say, no: I can't imagine any author agreeing to let one of the line editors take manuscripts of his/her stories home as work samples (or galleys, even). And I've signed a confidentiality agreement for most clients. Even when I haven't, it's never occurred to me to take proprietary information home with me. (Charts with printer's impositions, sure: I do have a reference folder with some industry-wide information. But that's no one's company secret.)

I tell them "no," and hope that the question was an ethics test of some sort. Surely it was a trick question. I invite them to send me another story, something really "tough," to make up for my being too discreet to steal in-house material.

Then client #2 calls, and wants some help with the direction a particularly long project is going in. I read the stuff that is forwarded to me, and of course it's fantastic. I know what's going on: it's hard not to get lost in the woods when you've got a monster project in front of you. And there are times any writer could swear it all sucks, big time.

But one has to keep on going. I tell him it's great material. I can edit it, sure, but it's compelling work and the final project will be something special. And I'm utterly sincere in this.

Never mind that I'm an incredible prose stylist—if I do say so myself. This particular client is a terrific storyteller. I come home and ask my husband, "who the fuck am I to advise so-and-so on such-and-such?"

"He's paying you to do that," points out Attila the Hub. So he is. And I realize that I'm a very lucky woman indeed: working with people whose projects I genuinely believe in—who represent quality—is a privilege.

So, yes: I suspect I'll be acing this test, and working with Client #1. Because they're doing something extraordinary, and I know it. And they'll sense that I know it.

It's not something most people can fake. At least—I can't.

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February 27, 2006

So, I Get a Call From Hog Beatty.

He's decided to bow to the cultural imperative of his Tribe, and start looking for a Jewish girl.

His most recent pitch was not 100% successful, since the girl—an Israeli—turned out to already have a boyfriend. Nonetheless, he liked her, and became friends with both her and the guy—who is also Israeli.

And now these two need help with a marketing piece, which already exists in Hebrew.

"She can send it to me in Hebrew," I tell him. "But it'll cost her more, since before I even start editing it I'll have to get Mr. Linguistics to translate it. Fortunately, I know he'll do it for a bottle of premium vodka, so I'll just add that cost to their bill."

"Okay, then," he replies. "I'll give her your number, and you can all work it out. Just one thing."

"Yeah?" I'm getting impatient, of course, as he pauses. And then:

"Don't let them Jew you down on the price."

Now if a fellow Anglo-Saxon had said such a thing, I'd probably be furious—depending on how they meant it. But I busted up.

Context is everything, no?

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January 12, 2006

Visually Bitchin' Websites

What are your favorites? I've got someone putting together a bare-bones site for me—so Spartan, in fact, that we may make it a single page in the beginning.

This is strictly for Joy McCann, mild-mannered copyeditor and fact-checker, rather than Little Miss Attila. (And, yes: the business is staying under my own name for the time being. Long story.)

I'd like the final design to use a little gray, but also feature some saturated color. Any favorite sites that highlight interesting shades of orange, purple, green, or blue?

Because I like to demand the impossible, I want it to be as dignified as my business card, but a bit edgier (hence the polychromatic splashes).

As you know, the links in my comments section sometimes don't work, so you might want to place the full URL there--and/or give me a name, so I can Google the site or blog you're discussing.

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July 11, 2005

The Name-My-Business Contest!

So I've decided to expand my copyediting business, because I know several other top-notch L.A.-based copyeditors who are all as hungry as I am. If I can hustle together a few more editing/proofreading clients, we should have enough work to go around. I hate marketing myself, however—so I need a name for the business other than "Joy McCann: editing, writing." And of course it makes more sense to use a neutral name if I may need to subcontract some jobs to other copyeditors.

My existing logo is from a rubber stamp; it's a stylized circular picture of a koi fish (we're without a scanner at the moment, but I'll post it once I get it scanned).

So I was going to file my DBA as "Koi Pond Copyediting," but my business advisor vetoed it: too "passive." (I had thought it was serene, myself.)

I do like water imagery, though: perhaps a stream or creek would pass muster.

A friend of mine is marketing her business (very different from mine) using the imagery of an eye, which would make even more sense for my line of work—but, hey. It's her idea. So if you want to suggest something unrelated to koi fish, that's fine as well. My mood is Eastern/Chinese, but my business advisor wants more yang and less yin.

If I use the name you suggest, I'll send you a copy of Mark Steyn's book (or a suitable namby-pamby pacifist BS volume, if that's what you prefer).

Thanks. May the best reader win.

Posted by: Attila at 05:33 PM | Comments (56) | Add Comment
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