I dunno, Jane/Megan.

I believe in almost all of it: I believe that most of us are programmed to eat, and being surrounded by plentiful food—some of it quite calorie-dense—has made us fatter.

I believe that for a lot of people carbs are the drug of choice.

I believe that some people like to act out around food.

I believe that some people gain weight so they can "check out" of the romance game.

I believe that some people have so many fat cells that for them a "normal" weight requires the sensation of starving.

I believe that for some people food is the prude's alternative to sex.

I believe that some people have medical conditions that make them look fat, and we don't know by looking at them which ones are in that predicament.

I believe that some of the fattest people I know are some of the brightest.

I believe that I'd prefer that my vices be slightly private, and I'd rather not carry them on my belly, if I can avoid it.

I believe that people like me (most dudes and some chicks) who gain weight on their tummies run more risks when they gain weight than the hips-and-thighs people.

So I think—all things being equal—I'd rather not get fat. But there are worse things, and there is no way that one can tell what caused the appearance of fatness. I like to give any individual the benefit of a doubt.

But it's truly a fascinating discussion. Personally, I can't imagine eating a bunch of ice cream in one sitting. But I could probably eat two chocolate croissants in a sitting—and do that twice a day. So I could fall over that precipice in a heartbeat, if I lived in a French bakery or something.

So, no "set weight" theory for me: that's the one thing I don't believe. But individual situations vary wildly—as with everything. And people who are hungry and angry can generally put a lot away, if they put their minds to it.

Via Glenn.

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CalTech Girl's found one of those hilarious fringe beliefs regarding Scary Tofu.

This one ties the extremist religious right with skepticism about soy products, but I've seen similar thoughts (minus the homophobia) on the science-challenged leftist edges.

Personally, I live on rice milk and pure grain alcohol . . .

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Menu for a Midnight Snack—and Beyond

• 2-3 ounces of red wine;
• Instant Blueberry Oatmeal;
• Butter-lettuce salad with Wishbone Balsamic Breeze spray-on dressing and a kiss of black pepper;
• bottled water, or "Earl of Africa" red tea (naturally decaffeinated);
• Top Ramen (oriental flavor) with a bit of sesame oil added in, and a tiny bit of chili-garlic paste;
• finish with a Prozac capsule for dessert.

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This entry at the newly resurrected Suburban Blight reminded me of a conversation I had with my mother about a year ago.

Me: By the way, I've always wanted to thank you for not being one of those mothers who apparently obsess about their children's shit.

Mom: You're welcome.

Me: I've heard some weird stuff about parents in the 60s and 70s who had very specific ideas about how often their kids should take a crap, and when. Eek.

Mom: It was even worse in the 30s and 40s—believe me. They used to give kids enemas if they didn't shit at the right intervals.

Me: How did you cope?

Mom: I learned to lie.

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. . . Sandy Szwarc writes an intriguing summary of what we've all seen lately while scanning headlines: the health risks of obesity have been drastically overstated, and it isn't a health crisis after all. Whew.

Beyond that, though, she explains that in most cases being somewhat overweight can actually enhance human health. Up to a certain point, biomass is good. Certainly, the risks of being underweight are much greater than the risks of being overweight.

So eat up. But, you know: I'd still take a walk now and again. It never hurts to hedge your bets.

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Color me astonished.

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Michele points out that the U.S. Department of Agriculture is re-thinking the whole Food Pyramid idea, and possibly contemplating some new geometric shape. Read the article, because it's hilarious: it says the Food Pyramid—first published in 1992—can't be working, because Americans are overweight. There are two fallacies at work there: 1) that people are eating the wrong foods in order to get overweight (perhaps they are eating too much in exactly the right proportions), and 2) that if people only understood what they ought to be eating, they wouldn't choose an unhealthy diet at all. The bureaucratic mindset is on parade here: no one, fully knowing the choices out there, would ever deliberately do anything wrong. This can, of course, apply to genocide as much as to gluttony—and to everything in between.

Michele has her own wickedly hilarious suggestion for a fresh approach to government guidelines, which you must go look at now.

Done? Did you read the comment by Crank? "How about a Food Sphinx, which dispenses only impenetrable riddles and offers no useful guidance?" Nice. He gets a link for that; I laughed out loud. And that certainly seems to be the government's policy; it holds across shapes.

After visiting Michele's place I started wondering whether I could remember the guidelines from when I was a kid, the ones that hung on at least one cafeteria hall in the 60s and 70s: The Basic Four Food Groups.

Meat and Dairy, Grains and Legumes, Fruits and Vegetables . . . what else? Hm. I started Googling to see if I could remember those guidelines, which I believe were developed in the 50s. Interestingly, there is no consensus now on what they were. Now, I might be able to find them somewhere, such as in my pre-1992 edition of The Joy of Cooking, but that would be cheating.

A popular pediatrician gives us this version of the Basic Four: meat, dairy, vegetables, fruits. That sounded wrong to me: I could have sworn that all produce was lumped into one category, which might be why the green beans in the ground beef casserole were all the fruits and veggies we supposedly needed in a given day (thank goodness my mother was a fruit fanatic—and relatively enlightened—or I would have gotten scurvy by the time I was six).

Still Googling on the first page (because I'm far too lazy to go any deeper than that, thank you very much) I find this site, by one Aunt Lynnie—who's clearly just a citizen nutritionist, without the good Doctor's resources. She seems to have it right: meat, dairy, fruit and vegetables, cereals and grain. Her graphic shows what I vaguely recalled, that the meat group encompassed one other protein source. But it was eggs—meat and eggs. Dairy is its own category in the old scheme. That also made sense in those days, as there was tremendous concern about getting enough calcium into children. And I'm old-fashioned enough to think my child (when he/she arrives) should get a little cow's milk every day, despite Dr. Gordon the Food Prude's warnings about its dangers, and his assurance that tofu and broccoli contain ample calcium.

And I'm suddenly seized by nostalgia: I want to eat something "healthy" from the old days. Like macaroni and cheese. Or, you know—beef.

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Radly Balko had a piece in Time magazine that apparently advocated the proposterous notion that there is a behavioral component in obesity, and that this behavior (let's call it "overeating") is generally voluntary--therefore, the responsibility of the person who indulges in same.

He got savaged by the nanny-staters, who know better. Their arguments boiled down to "we're wrong, and you're right." What are you going to do with a thing like that?

Via James, whose opinions on this seem to be as strong as my own.

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Heather explains that it's possible to eat at McDonald's without getting fat.

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Dean Esmay gives us word of a new drug that may help prevent and treat obesity. Not a moment too soon.

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From Men's Health, 100 tips--some contradictory, some impractical, but all interesting--on how to keep your heart going as long as possible.

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It takes a certain frame of mind to read Angelweave while eating something unhealthy, but I was prepared to do it. Unwind a little, get ready for bed, carb out (tonight: rice with a little milk, cinnamon and sugar). You know: I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way.

Then Heather hit me with this article from the New Yorker, which discusses the academics who track height differences in large populations over the centuries. In the U.S., ever since early in the last century, heights have remained static as those in Northern Europe and other industrialized nations have increased. And now, though we are still (demographically speaking) richer, they are taller. Since height usually tracks wealth, this is a somewhat anomalous trend.

But of course the main cause is thought to be--implied to be, in the article, though not quite stated flat-out--our national addiction to bad food. After all, one British study showed that modern kids who were fed wartime rations--boiled cabbage and beef--grew taller than those who ate hamburgers and French fries. We just don't get enough vegetables in this country, and this truth has etched itself into our bones for nearly a century. We keep getting richer, but we don't get the micronutrients our bodies need.

We just grow out, not up. It's a sobering thought.

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