You need to get ready for Daylight Savings Time tonight or tomorrow.

So spring back, and this autumn we'll all fall forward.

Unless I'm somehow confused . . .

Posted by: Attila Girl at 12:09 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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I liked the Simpsons back when they were pure, Man. Before they sold out. I'm talking the Tracy Ullman days, Man. When they got their own show, it all turned to shit.

Hat tip: Georgie Girl, of the Capers Club.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 10:46 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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. . . doing for my attention-span problem? Helping it, I'm beginning to suspect.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 09:10 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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1 Computers teach us patience, as we wait hours to do what should be done in nanoseconds. A very Zen/Buddhist experience, state of existence. Every little job becomes an f-in' tea ceremony with ten thousand required elements! But maybe it's just my illusory mind playing games...

Posted by: Darrell at March 03, 2006 10:16 AM (I4hUH)

2

Posted by: Attila Girl at March 03, 2006 11:10 AM (s96U4)

3 That post was too long. I don't have the patience.

Posted by: Sean Hackbarth at March 03, 2006 05:31 PM (JAozc)

4 Well, if you'd only focus on . . . oooh, look! Something shiny!

Posted by: Attila Girl at March 03, 2006 05:34 PM (s96U4)

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But I couldn't remember where the "on" switch was. And there's something wrong with the screen. Also, the copy is oriented incorrectly, and you have to hold the thing sideways.

Does anyone remember how this is done? I seem to remember using these things all the time . . . but they seem counter-intuitive now.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 10:31 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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And, as with most friends, there's a point when you want to say, "fuck you."

I'm still mulling the whole thing over. I most certainly don't think the stance Google is taking here vis a vis the DOJ obligates them not to cooperate with the Chinese government: after all, privacy is a different issue from free speech. I think there's something to be said for Stephen Green's contention that this may not turn into a big deal in the long run. And of course there is the argument that the Chinese may be better off with half a Google versus none at all.

But the capitulation to "local standards and laws" leaves a very bad taste in my mouth, and makes me eager to try other search engines.

Goldstein has some thoughts, as does Esmay and his crew. And, of course, Malkin is furious in a fun way.

"Don't be evil," indeed. Try not being dickweeds, Boys.

Anyone know how to change the default search engine on Safari?

Posted by: Attila Girl at 02:51 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Joy: Hello?

B: Aren't writers supposed to know their readers?

Joy: I assume all my readers are exactly like me, to avoid confusion.

B: Well, you don't have to work tomorrow.

Joy: Thanks, but how come I'm getting this confirmation at 10:00 at night? Isn't that a smidge late?

B: Because I didn't have your schedule, so I thought you probably weren't available this week anyway.

Joy: But I e-mailed it to you!

B: That gets us back to "know your reader." Or audience. You know I don't check my e-mail very often.

Joy: Sure. I know that. But surely you get to it once a day?

B: Once a day? I check it a couple of times a week. I'm not one of these obsessive blogger types, who check their mail all the time.

Joy: A couple times a week? Are you freaking kidding me? The average dog checks their e-mail more than that.

B: People know how to get hold of me.

Joy: [finally grasps the implication, and realizes that some people default to those little last-ditch emergency-only voice box thingies on their desks and belts when they need to communicate] Oh.

Joy: I have to go now. Goodnight. [pulls over to the side of the road; replaces phone on its holster with a shudder; slowly restarts the car, and drives up the hill, badly shaken]

Posted by: Attila Girl at 12:54 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Evan Coyne Maloney has a nice summary of the various technologies available for travelling web junkies. I'm still hoping that my new bitchin' T-Mobile phone will solve this problem for me without my having to lug the PowerBook around everywhere I go: I should at least be able to check my mail with it, and I should have some web access using it directly (as a matter of fact, the phone does have bluetooth, so I should be able to use it to tap in through my computer in the manner Even describes).

But I'm just not willing to shell out the kind of money Evan's talking about, and I don't travel nearly as much as he does. For instance, I didn't even try to use the internet while I was on the plane during my last trip, because I was going "gypsy-style," trying to keep my expenses down as much as possible. Of course, when I got to the Newark airport and discovered that my connecting flight to Hartford had been delayed by three hours, I broke down and paid the 6.95 the Port Authority charges for web access from NY/New Jersey airports. Happily. (Do most airports offer this pay-for-use WiFi deal?)

And it's nice to know that most Holiday Inns offer free WiFi; it's just the cheaper motels I favor when I travelling sans husband that don't. I also know that more and more public squares and parks are now featuring free hot spots. And while Siggraph was going on, the L.A. Convention Center was one big free hot spot: it was lovely, though if they hadn't done that I think there might have been blood running in the streets.

But that Bluetooth option: now that Even's mentioned it, I might try that in order to live-blog the Liberty Film Festival this October. (The Beverly Center may offer cutting-edge design, but it doesn't have WiFi, as the convention center does. Last year I was cut off, and had to do nightly summaries from home. Very primitive.)

Posted by: Attila at 10:33 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Insty has an interesting post up on the various stripes of anti-technology activists/sympathizers—on the left and right.

He even discusses a PBS Special that defends GM food. Utterly amazing; I'll have to watch that soon.

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After Professor Fractal is done presenting his paper, and we've both called our spouses, we link up with Scanmaster and go out for a bite to eat. In Scanmaster's Prius I show the good professor "my Precious," my compact PowerBook. And then my "little Precious," the Motorola cell phone with e-mail capability and a qwerty keyboard.

"I have zero CPUs on me, and you have two," he remarks. "So who's the geek?"

"I don't want to talk about that right now," I reply.

Later, I exult to Scanmaster that I had finally utilized the WiFi at the Convention Center, and "live-blogged" from Siggraph itself.

"What's 'live-blogging?" he responds. "I swear, you use all these obscure technical terms. I can't keep up with you."

Posted by: Attila at 10:14 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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We must always bear in mind that not all the adventures chronicled in Po Bronson's Nudist on the Late Shift were undertaken in Silicon Valley itself: the computer business has been big all over the West Coast, with plenty of action in Los Angeles and the Bay Area. As a matter of fact, rumor has it that the title anecdote about the workaholic nudist actually occurred in Burbank.

The nudist himself was sent a copy of the book along with a pen and a self-addressed stamped envelope by a colleague who wanted to vicariously experience someone else's fifteen minutes of fame.

Posted by: Attila at 11:07 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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The first time I went to Siggraph, it was being held in Anaheim. I drove down from West Los Angeles a couple of nights. My roommate at the time was part of a small computer graphics company that had its party at the Disneyland Hotel. The world of computer imagery was still, in many ways, a primitive art form in the mid-80s: as I recall the best minds in the business were still working on how to make plants look real, rather than like little explosions of color. Simulating human skin was still impossible, and there was still a distinctive "look" to any work that included "CGI" (Computer-Generated Images).

A few years later Terminator 2 would be made; the quantity and quality of computer images would spike.

Two years ago, I returned to Siggraph. It was in San Diego that year, and despite my being what they call "an English major's English major" I was talked into attending again. I found myself marvelling over and over about the kinds of technologies that were becoming "hot." Siggraph is not only about visual art: it explores that place where art and technology meet, no matter the sense that is being engaged. As I write this I have on my desk two little objects that were created by 3-D scanners/"printers." One of them is a tube containing little ball bearings, all of which were created inside the tube. The other is a little box with a lid that screws on: the threads are perfect. The object was made in two pieces, and they match exactly.

These little objects are passe now, two years later. Now the cutting edge is to be found in little devices that can be inserted into one's inner ear to disrupt equalibrium and make a person dizzy when he or she is not moving at all. Or machines that simulate the act of drinking through a straw, though one isn't consuming anything. Or virtual-reality hangliding.

My usual tourguide is Scanmaster, who knows everybody in the business. He's the go-to guy for scanning fine artwork, and the scanner he uses is one he had to invent. Last night, at the Aztec club, he introduced me to the legendary Jim Blinn, and I was nearly speechless.

"What am I on the lookout for this year?" I asked before we set out. I always want to know what the hardest effects are: last year it was hair that moves realistically, a la Violet's mane in The Incredibles, and that eternal bane of the special effects world: water. And fabric. Fabric was the hardest thing to do well at that time. Think of the long flowing robes worn by the dementers in Prisoner of Azkaban. That was plain old showing off.

This year, Scanmaster explains that the vogue is beautiful, stylized portrayal of technology of the kind we saw in Star Wars: Episode III. Now that a lot of the technical problems involved in creating fabric are considered fixable, we'll be seeing more and more exotic treatments of fabric in some of the less "photo-realistic" movies: neon fabrics. Fabrics that catch light in ways that appear nearly impossible.

And eye candy, as always: not just the buxom women we've been seeing since this technology moved beyond cubes outlined in green against a black screen, but more and more computer-generated images meant to be appreciated as high art in and of themselves, rather than imitating some other medium. Landscapes based on fantasy worlds; abstract art. Machines that use magnetic fields to create patterns in a shallow sandbox by means of a small metal ball.

This is a pursuit of beauty itself. The people around me who are often dismissed as "geeks" are really artists masquerading as engineers, underappreciated painters in pixels. And it's glorious to behold.

Posted by: Attila at 10:44 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Finally. Never mind that I've only got ten minutes until I meet my friend Professor Fractal for a quick bite to eat before I go home and blog this for real from the desk in my dining room at home: like the engineers I'm surrounded by, I'm willing to savor the victory of a technological achievement. Because these little watermarks always hold out the promise of better things in the future.

It turns out the propoganda on the GE "Carousel of Progress" at Disneyland was correct. Who knew?

More—much more—on this later.

Posted by: Attila at 05:17 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Please.

Posted by: Attila at 04:34 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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. . . favorite traffic meter? I'm beginning to suspect that SiteMeter is leading me down the primrose path to the everlasting bonfire.

Posted by: Attila at 11:51 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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. . . in Skokie, IL has WiFi. It's a little slower than my Mac Airport DSL connection, but still far better than dialup. It's wireless, and it's free.

Now I need to either go off to sleep, or go get my Indian name.

Posted by: Attila at 05:49 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I worked at Conde Nast for a while. It's a whole organization of people who are way smarter and hipper than anyone else on the planet. More stylish. More with it. Basically, a better class of human.

I had to tell one of the senior editors—who was working on a story about Scotland—that the name of a certain city wasn't pronounced "Ehdinburg," with a hard "g" at the end.

And she didn't believe me.

Why?

She was too hip to fall for that line of bullshit.

Posted by: Attila at 12:11 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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. . . that hearing my copious complaints about Microsoft Products was not one of his marriage vows.

I beg to differ. I'm sure I remembered a line about sickness and health, richer or poorer, files that work versus stupid products designed by the minions of that idiot, Bill Gates.

I guess we could ask the priest who married us. Or check the tape. But there's no point, because I'm right. I've got to hold the line, here.

Every day, get up and thank God you don't live with someone like me.

Posted by: Attila at 01:13 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
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1 Hmm, to make a smart azz response or not, that is the question. Whether tis nobler in the mind to keep ones yap shut or suffer the outrageous slings and arrows of LMA's pointed tongue.

Posted by: William Teach at April 06, 2005 02:07 PM (cuTsc)

2 WHO DARES TO COMMENT ON MY BLOG? [Oh. Wait. I want people to do that. Carry on.]

Posted by: Attila Girl at April 06, 2005 03:07 PM (R4CXG)

3 At the time we took our wedding vows, my wee wifey had a job sitting at one of 32 terminals served by a mainframe with about as much processor power as the original TRS-80. Microsoft was covered only in the generalities of "for better or worse" in that the hardware for which Bill Gates wrote the company's first software was still in the earliest design stage.

Posted by: triticale at April 06, 2005 04:42 PM (0JyyJ)

4

Posted by: Attila Girl at April 06, 2005 05:55 PM (R4CXG)

5 Art made tongue-tied by authority.

Posted by: William Teach at April 06, 2005 07:37 PM (HxpPK)

6 My wife and I were introduced via IRC, so the Microsoft bashing was an implied part of our wedding vows.

Posted by: Greg at April 07, 2005 05:38 AM (d8pUH)

7 I keep my wife in Macintoshes...I also fill her gas tank and drive in Ice storms...it seems to be under the subclause in the contract that covers "this is what he does so I will feed him." Grin JD

Posted by: jd bell at April 07, 2005 04:34 PM (PiRll)

8 Hm. My husband keeps me in Macintoshes, and when we go somewhere together he handles the driving. But I fill my own gas tank, and Attila the Hub is done for good with driving in snow/ice; apparently he had his fill of that in Chicago.

Posted by: Attila Girl at April 07, 2005 06:03 PM (R4CXG)

9 My husband is the one who rails against Bill Gates continuously. I guess there has to be one in every family.

Posted by: gail at April 07, 2005 08:06 PM (47cun)

10 Poor, poor man. MyLovelyWife has a spouse like that, too, the poor lady. Such words, she hears!

Posted by: Ranten.N.Raven at April 08, 2005 07:10 PM (fghYh)

11 You have Macs but you still use Microsoft products. Why?

Posted by: Alan Kellogg at April 08, 2005 11:20 PM (QNwEF)

12 Peer-group pressure.

Posted by: Attila Girl at April 09, 2005 02:23 AM (R4CXG)

13 People who use Microsoft products are not peers.

Posted by: Alan Kellogg at April 11, 2005 01:50 AM (lGW+6)

14 For years I didn't, but there's something for being able to share one's word-processing files with someone else.

Posted by: Attila Girl at April 11, 2005 12:18 PM (CIAFV)

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by introducing its new line of fruit-flavored drinks for the intelligent searcher.

Quench your thirst for knowledge.

At Google our mission is to organize the world's information and make it useful and accessible to our users. But any piece of information's usefulness derives, to a depressing degree, from the cognitive ability of the user who's using it.

Truer words were never written.

That's why we're pleased to announce Google Gulp (BETA)™ with Auto-Drink™ (LIMITED RELEASE), a line of "smart drinks" designed to maximize your surfing efficiency by making you more intelligent, and less thirsty.

Handy little side benefit, there.

Think fruity. Think refreshing.
Think a DNA scanner embedded in the lip of your bottle reading all 3 gigabytes of your base pair genetic data in a fraction of a second, fine-tuning your individual hormonal cocktail in real time using our patented Auto-Drink™ technology, and slamming a truckload of electrolytic neurotransmitter smart-drug stimulants past the blood-brain barrier to achieve maximum optimization of your soon-to-be-grateful cerebral cortex. Plus, it's low in carbs! And with flavors ranging from Beta Carroty to Glutamate Grape, you'll never run out of ways to quench your thirst for knowledge.

Guaranteed to make you re-watch Dr. Strangelove.

How to get Gulped?
You can pick up your own supply of this "limited release" product simply by turning in a used Gulp Cap at your local grocery store.

How to get a Gulp Cap? Well, if you know someone who's already been "gulped," they can give you one. And if you don't know anyone who can give you one, don't worry – that just means you aren't cool. But very, very (very!) soon, you will be.

Once you get those coveted bottle caps that show you're in the club! Until then, of course, you're a loser.

Google Gulp and Your Privacy
From time to time, in order to improve Google Gulp's usefulness for our users, Google Gulp will send packets of data related to your usage of this product from a wireless transmitter embedded in the base of your Google Gulp bottle to the GulpPlex™, a heavily guarded, massively parallel server farm whose location is known only to Eric Schmidt, who carries its GPS coordinates on a 64-bit-encrypted smart card locked in a stainless-steel briefcase handcuffed to his right wrist. No personally identifiable information of any kind related to your consumption of Google Gulp or any other current or future Google Foods product will ever be given, sold, bartered, auctioned off, tossed into a late-night poker pot, or otherwise transferred in any way to any untrustworthy third party, ever, we swear. See our Privacy Policy.

So you can feel safe with them.

Via Jeff Harrell, who wishes I'd blogpimp him more; I probably should, at that.

UPDATE: The naughty Google people took Googlegulp down. When it was still up at 2:00 a.m., I thought they were going to leave it in place for a few days, but no—they were probably just waiting for midnight in Hawaii or some such.

Posted by: Attila at 09:54 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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. . . Though, in all fairness, I must admit I hope it doesn't happen quite this way. Not in every particular, at least. (The film is supposedly eight minutes long, but it felt like 4-5. They say if you give it two minutes, you'll stay for the whole eight.)

Via the Commissar, who's declared himself a "light blogger" for the indefinite future. The Ghost of Allah, I believe, is whispering in bloggers' ears: "if it doesn't pay enough to be a job, are you enjoying it enough to make it a hobby?" Don't listen: he'll drive you mad.

Posted by: Attila at 02:07 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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So, I can't access the old Yahoo account from this computer, probably because I need to clear out my LMA in box. I thought I'd mostly solved that problem when I opened the Gmail account, but now Gmail won't come up for me. Could this be because my machine is a little light on memory?—or is there another explanation. I haven't been able to get to my Gmail at all since I returned from Santa Barbara. So that's over 24 hours.

Let me know if you have insight.

Posted by: Attila at 09:46 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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