July 05, 2006
Is It Normal
. . . to be angry when people die?
Death makes me positively livid at times. Am I the only person other than Edna St. Vincent Millay to have this reaction?
Posted by: Attila Girl at
01:53 PM
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1
Yes it is.
Anger makes it about you.
Sadness focuses on the deceased. And those they left behind.
We all may feel the anger well when our prayers haven't been answered or we didn't get the outcome we expect. But then we realize that none of this is in our hands, under our control. So we concentrate on what made that person special to us, and vow to never forget. And maybe add some of those special traits to our repertoire so that our friend will live far after we are gone when others, too, remember us.
Posted by: Darrell at July 05, 2006 08:29 PM (99l1Z)
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Edna St. Vincent Millay, on the other hand, was just a hothead. Anger was her response to everything! Kiss her--bam! Pour her a glass of wine--bam! Give her a Pulitzer Prize for poetry, and she complains about the wait and the inherent sexism of the process. They named a hospital in New York after her, you know.
Consider her words--
..."Detestable race, continue to expunge yourself, die out."
..."Convert again into explosives the bewildered ammonia
and the distracted cellulose..."
..."Convert again into putrescent matter drawing flies..."
..."...expand, expunge yourself, die out"
And that's when she was just asked if she wanted fries with her hamburger!
Posted by: Darrell at July 06, 2006 08:03 AM (kbdtx)
3
OTOH - if you don't want to be preached at...
No, you aren't the only person to have that reaction - it's perfectly normal.
Posted by: Kathy K at July 06, 2006 05:37 PM (SSiS4)
4
@Darrell--
"My candle burns at both ends;
It will not last the night.
But oh my foes--and oh, my friends--
It gives a lovely light."
@Kathy--
Thanks.
Posted by: Attila Girl at July 06, 2006 08:00 PM (4IuF2)
5
I love Edna's work! Most really holds up well.
Of course she was named AFTER the hospital and since she was the second winner(of all time) of the Pulitzer for poetry, she did not offer any protest. But I knew YOU would know that. But thanks for ESVM's poem, regardless! One good thing deserves another as you will see. Or would have if your system wouldn't have eaten it!
And you did ask if it was normal to be angry when people die and I did say it was...But normal is not always as it should be.
Posted by: Darrell at July 07, 2006 12:27 PM (45pbS)
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There's a Nice Tribute Here
. . . to
Viola Elder.
What isn't said is that she was able to handle with grace the death of one son after his drug problem killed him. As I understand it, there's nothing tougher for a parent than to bury a child. I interviewed her once; she and her husband sat in front of me at the Liberty Film Festival last October, so I introduced myself and spoke with her briefly.
What a woman. What a blessing she was.
Posted by: Attila Girl at
03:37 AM
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