Mr. Google has let me down, and I thought it might be faster just to ask if anyone knows who does the opening theme music for Boston Legal. My mother and I are looking in particular for the segments that harken back to American folk music (negro spirituals and the like).

And, of course—I like a beat. My mother doesn't especially share my passion for bass and drums.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 04:47 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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The female body should have a little indicator light on it—on one of the wrists, I believe—that glows green when she's pregnant. And maybe it should glow red when she's out of eggs.

Will someone work on this? Thanks.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 11:31 PM | Comments (27) | Add Comment
Post contains 43 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Uh, well.... my wife can tell within about 3 days, seemingly. Maybe we should put her in charge of development.

Posted by: the other Rick at December 01, 2005 04:21 AM (U2bNV)

2 ?! Whence, and wherefore, this post?

Posted by: K at December 01, 2005 05:49 AM (ywZa8)

3 Strictly thinking like an engineer. I'd like to make a few improvements, y'know?

Posted by: Attila Girl at December 01, 2005 07:17 AM (zZMVu)

4 Yeah. Tweak it.

Posted by: K at December 01, 2005 12:17 PM (6krEN)

5 Hey. Desert Cat's an engineer. Should we draft him?

Posted by: K at December 01, 2005 12:19 PM (6krEN)

6 DC: Would you like to take charge of the "Girl 2007" project?

Posted by: Attila Girl at December 01, 2005 12:54 PM (zZMVu)

7 Only two lights? I'm thinking ten at least. There's a lot more I'd like to know! Men only need a "best if used by" date.

Posted by: Darrell at December 01, 2005 03:13 PM (48tlu)

8 Ok: DC in charge, the other Rick's other half in development, Darrell on Other Issue Identification and LMA and k on the girl viewpoints and requirements. Except we ladies will fill in for each other on PMS days, because we are kindly disposed towards you fine guys, and thoughtful and courteous to boot.

Posted by: K at December 01, 2005 04:11 PM (M7kiy)

9 Ten? I really think we ought to go for a 24" plasma screen with a full Telemetry/SCADA system display. Output levels for at least five different indicators of mood, hormone level, stress level, chocolate level, shopping indicator, level of irritation at husband, level of irritation at coworkers or children, wants meter, needs meter, feelings scale, desires array, and most certainly a Doppler Radar display to keep a sharp eye out for the approach of Cumulonimbus WifeOnWarpathus storms. Then there's all the various level indicators, skew and trim control potentiometers, power meters, amplifiers, bass boost control, spectrum analyzers and launch control arrays that go along with monitoring and enhancing her sexual arousal. I mean the American Male canNOT have too much data in the pursuit of his duties.

Posted by: Desert Cat at December 01, 2005 07:00 PM (xdX36)

10 I think they're already working on something.

Posted by: dorkafork at December 01, 2005 10:13 PM (mI+u5)

11 I thought we operated on the "joystick" principle?

Posted by: Desert Cat at December 01, 2005 11:13 PM (xdX36)

12

Posted by: Attila Girl at December 02, 2005 07:00 AM (zZMVu)

13 I would have to defer to LMA and k, but from my personal experience, women would need to control what information is available. And then we're back to where we are now. Just do what she says. Or what she doesn't say.

Posted by: Darrell at December 02, 2005 11:03 AM (Y8j+K)

14 Well, you know: I think it's very important to communicate with a man, and let him know what's on one's mind. Unless he's being a complete JERK, and is totally, infuriatingly DENSE, and simply doesn't DESERVE to know, because if he loved me he'd just FIGURE IT OUT. So, yeah. Couple of caveats, there.

Posted by: Attila Girl at December 02, 2005 11:12 AM (zZMVu)

15 I wouldn't put a Civil Engineer incharge of the project, you'll end up with another waste disposal line running through a recreational area.

Posted by: the Pirate at December 02, 2005 12:17 PM (0ZKi5)

16 I would still want to keep the doppler radar display. I mean that's only fair after all. Re: the original layout--that's only because SOMEone on the council insisted on adding some recreational amenities to what was supposed to be a utilitarian design. I mean you've got a major industrial production facility located right next door to a waste processing plant and the outfall from a water treatment facility. But then this micromanager type gets the crazy idea that adding a grassy knoll and some playground equipment will "spruce up the appeal" of that end of town. And what do you expect for a result? Endless complaints from truckers using the park while waiting to deliver their load. Typical politicians! So, einstein. You'd have relocated the park to the bellybutton neighborhood then? Then what? You have truckers circling in the wrong neighborhood and never delivering their load at the production facility, that's what!

Posted by: Desert Cat at December 02, 2005 02:17 PM (B2X7i)

17 This has got to be one of the dirtiest threads I've ever read.

Posted by: Attila Girl at December 02, 2005 03:17 PM (zZMVu)

18 So really it comes down to a problem with the zoning commission. You know now-a-days this whole set up wouldn't pass NIMBY, NIMTOO, LULU or BANANA. That EIR wouldn't survive public comments. And don't me get started on the playgroun because it just blaoted the project budjet all because it was apparently racist/sexist to put the facilities where we did, so that llandscaping work was merely there to make the community feel good. Oh and I wouldn't of put the park in the bellybutton, if the planners did a better job of outreach and the designers had done a better job designing the processes, refining the operation and gotten the odor control system up and running properly. We wouldn't of had the problems in the first place! For those who have no clue what I said: NIMBY - Not in my backyard NIMTOO - Not in my term of office LULU - Locally unacceptable land use BANANA - Build absolutely nothing anywhere near anyone.

Posted by: the Pirate at December 02, 2005 04:02 PM (0ZKi5)

19 Read k and see why this project is doomed from the start. The budget for any mechanism that would provide any insight or forewarning to what we have just witnessed would exceed the combined GNP of every major industrialized nation for, at least, the rest of this century... May I suggest a BowLigual-type translator for men...or hell...just the BowLingual as is. If Homeland Security isn't rushing a truckload of Dove chocolate to k right now, none of us are safe!!!

Posted by: Darrell at December 02, 2005 09:09 PM (k6hmj)

20 Lord help us Darrell, I think you're right...

Posted by: Desert Cat at December 02, 2005 09:24 PM (xdX36)

21 I don't see the problem: she was cranky, and wanted chocolate, and had a few links for us, and wasn't in a punctuating sort of mood.

Posted by: Attila Girl at December 02, 2005 11:22 PM (zZMVu)

22 Right! Of course. I knew that.

Posted by: Desert Cat at December 03, 2005 12:10 AM (xdX36)

23 GOOD morning!

Posted by: K at December 03, 2005 07:18 AM (6krEN)

24 Note to Homeland Security: Threat Level reduction...standy by. Good Morning, k!

Posted by: Darrell at December 03, 2005 09:20 AM (SI5uw)

25 What a beautiful perfect day outside! Pure sunshine and 71 degrees, 55% humidity so it's nice and dry, winds 8 mph, just enough to blow the mosquitoes away. And no one can expect me to do one single annoying errand today. No, I'm back on yardwork for the duration. The Citizen's Windstorm Insurance adjuster has FINALLY decided to come see my hurricane damage. He wants to come tomorrow but I'm putting him off till Tuesday. I'm busy. Wouldn't want the poor man tripping over some debris and accusing me of not mitigating my hazards, huh? nyuk nyuk! You guys are BRAVE.

Posted by: K at December 03, 2005 10:54 AM (M7kiy)

26 Stand down. I suggest you check on a certain insurance adjuster on Tuesday, though. Just to make sure...

Posted by: Darrell at December 03, 2005 11:20 AM (DpP47)

27 Would be more helpful to have one that tells when she is in the mood

Posted by: karl4hand at December 08, 2005 12:45 PM (guLWn)

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It turns out that: housework + dust + meetings in hyperallergenic environments + seeing my mother when she has a cold + dry SoCal air + something dead under the house (that my husband cannot find, no matter how hard he looks) sending up a putrescent odor that increasingly pervades the living space

=

I have some sort of obnoxious virus. So, no Harry Potter movie today, but I did finish the Michael Connelly book.

And it looks like we'll have a bare-bones Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow, which is fine. I hate changing out of my pajamas on Thx day in any event.

I have a new business model, BTW: "Pajamas Cooks," a show for lazy people who like food. The twist is, instead of airing on HGTV it will be on the History Channel, since that's where the core audience is. It's aimed at those who want to make something really delicious—but quickly, before it's time to get back to their books and shows about guns (me), football (Attila the Hub), crime (me), or military history (both of us).

I envision it would have broad appeal to the "eccentric bookworm" demographic.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 06:22 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Get to it, maggots!

Posted by: Attila at 09:44 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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What sayest thou?

In other news, it's 8:00 p.m., and the temperature has dropped to 90 degrees. I'm flirting with the idea of taking my sleeping bag onto the balcony, and crashing there tonight. (But then, if I tried to read myself to sleep, the big icky bugs so beloved of the Argentine would fly around and bang against me, my lamp, and my book. And I swear some of these insects are the size of mice.)

Now you're going to tell me to turn on the air conditioning. I'm trailer trash, and I don't turn on the AC more than five days a year, because otherwise I can't brag about how WONDERFUL it is to live in Caleeforneeia. Fucking desert. I'm moving to New Zealand.

Posted by: Attila at 08:01 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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A pellet gun is too mild. I've seen some egregious behavior by paparazzi.

Too bad it's illegal to discharge a pellet gun in Los Angeles County—at least, so I've heard. Perhaps the law can be re-written to exclude those who cross the line in pursuit of celebrity photos? (There is a line, you know.)

UPDATE: Locals react.

Posted by: Attila at 11:54 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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