I mean, why would I want a worm? When the early bird gets it, doesn't that actually enhance the quality of my life? That's one fewer worm I might encounter in an apple or whatever, and really a damned fine thing.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 01:53 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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But when a few drunks are trying to ruin your standup act—standup being one of the most difficult art forms there are—you are entitled to call them anything you like.

If they can't take the heat, they oughtn't to have stepped into a kitchen infamous for its sauna-like atmosphere.

And how many times must I remind everyone that there is only one cure for the undue power people give the word "nigger"? Say it until it loses that power. Nigger, nigger, nigger. (And I am "trailer trash, BTW. And a "white mutt.")

Posted by: Attila Girl at 05:12 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Always nice when they manage to live, huh?

And this one is in my very own Golden State.

Via Radley Balko.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 10:14 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Desert Cat is all over this one, of course. The elderly woman who was killed by the police might have been victim of "dynamic entry," rather than a "no knock" raid. I'm sure her loved ones are reassured by that fact.

Like most aspects of the "War on Drugs," this has to stop: innocent people are dying because a technique that should only be used on the most violent of criminals is turning into the "first resort," and there are virtually no safeguards in place. I'm furious. You should be, too.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 09:39 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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If we don't restrict them further and make law enforcement fully responsible for the inevitable tragedies that result, the Constitution means nothing. Nothing.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 05:19 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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They make me sick.

Oh. Wait . . .

Posted by: Attila Girl at 06:22 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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"I've signed up with Match.com."

"Why not J-Date?"

"Have you met either one of my sisters?"

"You know I have—oh, wait. Okay."

Posted by: Attila Girl at 08:52 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Come on—bring it."

Hey! What kind of snakes were they? But don't tell me too much. Not yet.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 09:41 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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The sky is falling!

Posted by: Attila Girl at 09:00 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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1 I'm going to have to disagree with you here Ms. the Honey. Gay marriage is in it self nothing to be concerned about. Calling them 'married' is. It will change the meaning of the word, and not in a good way. Don't believe me? Try wearing a rainbow pin the next time you go out, and see what people think of it. Or, how 'bout we go out and have a gay old time? They should be able to join together in a union just like us, but it's not the same thing, so they should call it something else (don't care what).

Posted by: Kevin at July 05, 2006 03:14 PM (++0ve)

2 But should the difference between a "marriage" and a "civil union" be codified by the state? The state should treat us all equally--therefore, the only thing it is really qualified to proclaim is a civil union.

Posted by: Attila Girl at July 05, 2006 06:09 PM (4IuF2)

3 The state is treating us all equally right now. A gay man has just as much right to marry a woman as I do. What we are talking about is adding a right for men to marry other men. When creating this new right, there is no reason we have to give it a name that is already taken (like marriage). Unless you consider it identical, which I don't. On the other hand, changing the legal term for all marriages to civil unions seems fair enough if it is important to try to gloss over the differences between heterosexual and homosexual coupling. But living in California, you know that most homosexuals try very hard to not be the same as straight people. I would have thought that giving their unions a special name would be desirable by them, if the legal implications were the same. (This would all be the same if you switched out 'men' and 'women' and lesbian for gay man, but I was trying to save typing )

Posted by: Kevin at July 05, 2006 07:30 PM (++0ve)

4 The state already codifies us, and does NOT treat us all equally (see: affirmative action, set-asides, illegal immigrants paying few if any taxes vs legal citizens forced to pay taxes, money buying the best justice possible, tenure granted-not granted due to political stance at state-and-federal funded colleges and universities, etc). There are more instances if you really think about it. Equality is in the eye of the beholder, more than in actuality.

Posted by: clyde at July 06, 2006 06:24 AM (6m+7s)

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. . . . about real estate management—and what it means, philosophically, to be a landlord—K put together an extensive meditation on the subject, with plenty of practical tips.

Head on over there.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 10:06 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Via Reynolds, An Extraordinary Act of Civil Obedience.

My first reaction: what assholes.

My second reaction: a system that depends upon rule-breaking is fundamentally broken. If we are relied upon to break the rules, the rules should be changed. (See "immigration, illegal," and "drugs, war on.") So, yeah: it had to be done.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 10:13 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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whose time has come.

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Paging Michael Connelly.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 06:37 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Wow. I've been away from Bombay Sapphire for a while now, just drinking plain Tanqueray. But Sapphire was on sale, so I bought a little. I was probably still drinking mini-dirty martinis last time I had Sapphire around, but its strong gin taste is a bit much for a gin and tonic. I deliberately make them pretty weak, with no more than an ounce of gin in each, and the Bombay has a rather uneasy truce going with the tonic and lime: it's as if it wants to be in a martini. I see why I was fond of it at one time: the juniper taste can knock you over if you let your guard down.

I need a lot of hydration these days, so I'm not too interested in martinis. Still, I should have one more while the Bombay is still in the house. The stuff just begs to be mixed up with a little vermouth and olive brine. Who am I to argue?

Posted by: Attila Girl at 09:56 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I meet a friend at a mutual friend's house. I've never been there before. I'm thrilled by his collection of Buddha statues, because they come from several vastly different Eastern traditions: one is Indian, another is southeast Asian. Yet a third is Chinese. He has a laughing Buddha; I love laughing Buddhas.

We stop there for tea, and I hit it off with my host, he of the many Buddhas. The topic of taxes comes up, and he remarks, "you have to pay taxes, unless you're Halliburton." He winks at me; his meaning is clear.

He's a nice guy, but like everyone else in artistic L.A. he takes it for granted that we all hate the Bush administration and the war and the nasty capitalists and the dirty republicans, and the rich. (Oh, wait: what about the rich in the entertainment industry? Do they get a special dispensation?)

We—creative Republicans—are the Last Minority. In the 1970s one used to be able to get buttons at the Sisterhood Bookstore in Westwood that asked "how dare you presume I'm heterosexual?" Others queried, "how dare you presume I celebrate Christmas?"

If neither my husband nor I ever needed to work again, I'd get us buttons that read "how dare you presume I hate the President?"

It would blow a lot of people's minds to know up front that we don't.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 11:23 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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regarding whether make-up enhances or mutes female beauty. I'm not so sure about the methodology of the first part of the study.

Makeup in my own case doesn't seem to have much effect on whether men find me attractive. I wear it because I don't like seeing my face in the mirror of the Nordstrom ladies' room unless I've done something about those ever-present circles under my eyes. And once I've gone that far, I usually throw some lipstick on; it's a privilege of middle age.

Makeup, like decent clothing, is for us alone. Jane Austen got the principle right.

Posted by: Attila at 10:25 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Mayor Sam and Mayor Frank have disclosed their secret identities, and show no sign of wanting to lay off of the Los Angeles City Hall.

God bless Hizzoner and Hizzotheronor.

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There's a great (and somewhat disgusting) article by David Sedaris in the current issue of GQ. Go out and read it in print: steal it from your dentist's office or something. (I don't believe in rewarding magazines that don't provide full articles online, so try not to pay for the damned thing. How are your shoplifting skills?)

Or, if you're just too busy, there's an excerpt here, but the original is better. And there's not too much of it.

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Santa Monice?

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David Sedaris, in the midst of a very funny New Yorker story, discusses how he handles fighting with his boyfriend:

We’ll be arguing, and I’ll stop in mid-sentence and ask if we can just start over. “I’ll go outside and when I come back in we’ll just pretend this never happened, O.K.?”

If the fight is huge, he’ll wait until I’m in the hall, then bolt the door behind me, but if it’s minor he’ll go along, and I’ll reënter the apartment saying, “What are you doing home?” Or “Gee, it smells good in here. What’s cooking?”—an easy question, as he’s always got something on the stove.

For a while, it feels goofy, but eventually the self-consciousness wears off, and we ease into the roles of two decent people, trapped in a rather dull play. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“You can set the table if you want.”

“All-righty then.”

I donÂ’t know how many times IÂ’ve set the table in the middle of the afternoon, long before we sit down to eat. But the play would be all the duller without action, and I donÂ’t want to do anything really hard, like paint a room. IÂ’m just so grateful that he goes along with it. Other peopleÂ’s lives can be full of screaming and flying plates, but I prefer that my own remains as civil as possible, even if it means faking it every once in a while.

Via Beautiful Atrocities.

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