September 01, 2008

Sarah's Going To Be a Grandma!

Cool.

The McCain campaign has asked that the young couple's privacy be respected. That won't happen, of course. I hope that Bristol has a backbone of steel like her mother's, and that her boyfriend's mettle compares well with that of his soon-to-be father-in-law, Alaska's First Gentleman.

As a matter of fact, as the lower elements within the MainStream Media speculate about whether the self-proclaimed "First Dude" owns a shotgun, I would caution them that (1) I am almost certain he does (although I know he lives in long-range rifle country), and (2) the scattergun in question is unlikely to be pointed at Bristol's boyfriend—but rather the bottom-feeders from the press.

I would, however, suggest that both households invest in shredders, since both families' trash cans will be gone over with fine-tooth combs. Any signs that any occupant therein has eaten junk food, for instance, or supplemented breastfeeding with the occasional bottle of formula, will be met with harsh reprisals, wall-to-wall media exposure, and suggestions that we might as well just hand the Russians and the Iranians the keys to every city in the U.S.

Seriously: if I were the Secret Service, or involved in Alaskan Law Enforcement, I'd extend extra protection to Levi and Bristol.

The jackals are going to be running loose for the next two months. Carry your Grizzly-rated pepper-spray canister with you, okay?

That family's been through hell over the past year, and it's going to get tougher before it gets better. Pray for them to have strength, forbearance, and the ability to see the face of Christ Himself in the jackals'.

For I confess that I cannot.


UPDATE
His Aceness Weighs in:

Faaaake... Bristol's faking the pregnancy to cover for the fact that her mom actually just got pregnant again, and the birth is very dangerous and she should abort but because she's a fundie she won't, she's just going to fly planes every singe minute for the next nine months, but we're supposed to believe the "daughter" is "pregnant" and then, gee, Sarah Palin will gain weight at the same time, "coincidentally," and then, gee whiz, we'll see Sarah Palin holding this "granddaughter" in a very motherly way.

Yes, of course. But Trig is still actually Bristol's son. Wake up, Sheeple!

Posted by: Attila Girl at 09:27 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
Post contains 388 words, total size 3 kb.

1 Look to Nostradamus--The Eagle and The Bear will unite to defeat The Dragon. Eagle = John McCain Bear = Sarah Palin Dragon = Barack Obama where dr=DemonRat, ag=gold or golden, on=one. "The Golden One" So shall it be written, so shall it be done. Now go and do it!

Posted by: Darrell at September 01, 2008 10:06 AM (d22B5)

2 any allegations yet of statutory rapre ? what is the age of consent in AK?

Posted by: John Ryan at September 01, 2008 10:54 AM (TcoRJ)

3 Pepper Spray? I would prefer a certain, fine, hand-held invention by John Moses Browning.

Posted by: GM Cassel AMH1(AW) USN RET at September 01, 2008 11:18 AM (+rpJq)

4 J. Ryan, you magnificent moron, if you'd spent two minutes poking and prodding google with "age of consent alaska" you'd know the answer is: Alaska: The age of consent is 16, provided the older partner is not in a position of authority. Oh, and a shotgun would be my prefered weapon to deal with a bear. Unless your name is Crockett, in which case you us a knife.

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at September 01, 2008 12:22 PM (1hM1d)

5 The short answer is-- Sec. 11.41.410. Sexual assault in the first degree. (a) An offender commits the crime of sexual assault in the first degree if (1) the offender engages in sexual penetration with another person without consent of that person; (2) the offender attempts to engage in sexual penetration with another person without consent of that person and causes serious physical injury to that person; (3) the offender engages in sexual penetration with another person (A) who the offender knows is mentally incapable; and (B) who is in the offender's care (i) by authority of law; or (ii) in a facility or program that is required by law to be licensed by the state; or (4) the offender engages in sexual penetration with a person who the offender knows is unaware that a sexual act is being committed and (A) the offender is a health care worker; and (B) the offense takes place during the course of professional treatment of the victim. (b) Sexual assault in the first degree is an unclassified felony and is punishable as provided in AS 12.55. Sec. 11.41.420. Sexual assault in the second degree. (a) An offender commits the crime of sexual assault in the second degree if (1) the offender engages in sexual contact with another person without consent of that person; (2) the offender engages in sexual contact with a person (A) who the offender knows is mentally incapable; and (B) who is in the offender's care (i) by authority of law; or (ii) in a facility or program that is required by law to be licensed by the state; (3) the offender engages in sexual penetration with a person who the offender knows is (A) mentally incapable; (B) incapacitated; or (C) unaware that a sexual act is being committed; or (4) the offender engages in sexual contact with a person who the offender knows is unaware that a sexual act is being committed and (A) the offender is a health care worker; and (B) the offense takes place during the course of professional treatment of the victim. (b) Sexual assault in the second degree is a class B felony. Sec. 11.41.425. Sexual assault in the third degree. (a) An offender commits the crime of sexual assault in the third degree if the offender (1) engages in sexual contact with a person who the offender knows is (A) mentally incapable; (B) incapacitated; or (C) unaware that a sexual act is being committed; (2) while employed in a state correctional facility or other placement designated by the commissioner of corrections for the custody and care of prisoners, engages in sexual penetration with a person who the offender knows is committed to the custody of the Department of Corrections to serve a term of imprisonment or period of temporary commitment; or (3) engages in sexual penetration with a person 18 or 19 years of age who the offender knows is committed to the custody of the Department of Health and Social Services under AS 47.10 or AS 47.12 and the offender is the legal guardian of the person. (b) Sexual assault in the third degree is a class C felony. Sec. 11.41.427. Sexual assault in the fourth degree. (a) An offender commits the crime of sexual assault in the fourth degree if (1) while employed in a state correctional facility or other placement designated by the commissioner of corrections for the custody and care of prisoners, the offender engages in sexual contact with a person who the offender knows is committed to the custody of the Department of Corrections to serve a term of imprisonment or period of temporary commitment; or (2) the offender engages in sexual contact with a person 18 or 19 years of age who the offender knows is committed to the custody of the Department of Health and Social Services under AS 47.10 or AS 47.12 and the offender is the legal guardian of the person. (b) Sexual assault in the fourth degree is a class A misdemeanor. Sec. 11.41.430. Sexual assault in the third degree. [Repealed, Sec. 10 ch 78 SLA 1983. AS 11.41.420 (a)(2)]. Repealed or Renumbered Sec. 11.41.432. Defenses. (a) It is a defense to a crime charged under AS 11.41.410 (a)(3), 11.41.420(a)(2), 11.41.420(a)(3), or 11.41.425 that the offender is (1) mentally incapable; or (2) married to the person and neither party has filed with the court for a separation, divorce, or dissolution of the marriage. (b) Except as provided in (a) of this section, in a prosecution under AS 11.41.410 or 11.41.420, it is not a defense that the victim was, at the time of the alleged offense, the legal spouse of the defendant. Sec. 11.41.434. Sexual abuse of a minor in the first degree. (a) An offender commits the crime of sexual abuse of a minor in the first degree if (1) being 16 years of age or older, the offender engages in sexual penetration with a person who is under 13 years of age or aids, induces, causes, or encourages a person who is under 13 years of age to engage in sexual penetration with another person; (2) being 18 years of age or older, the offender engages in sexual penetration with a person who is under 18 years of age, and the offender is the victim's natural parent, stepparent, adopted parent, or legal guardian; or (3) being 18 years of age or older, the offender engages in sexual penetration with a person who is under 16 years of age, and (A) the victim at the time of the offense is residing in the same household as the offender and the offender has authority over the victim; or (B) the offender occupies a position of authority in relation to the victim. (b) Sexual abuse of a minor in the first degree is an unclassified felony and is punishable as provided in AS 12.55. Sec. 11.41.436. Sexual abuse of a minor in the second degree. (a) An offender commits the crime of sexual abuse of a minor in the second degree if (1) being 16 years of age or older, the offender engages in sexual penetration with a person who is 13, 14, or 15 years of age and at least three years younger than the offender, or aids, induces, causes or encourages a person who is 13, 14, or 15 years of age and at least three years younger than the offender to engage in sexual penetration with another person; (2) being 16 years of age or older, the offender engages in sexual contact with a person who is under 13 years of age or aids, induces, causes, or encourages a person under 13 years of age to engage in sexual contact with another person; (3) being 18 years of age or older, the offender engages in sexual contact with a person who is under 18 years of age, and the offender is the victim's natural parent, stepparent, adopted parent, or legal guardian; (4) being 16 years of age or older, the offender aids, induces, causes, or encourages a person who is under 16 years of age to engage in conduct described in AS 11.41.455 (a)(2) - (6); or (5) being 18 years of age or older, the offender engages in sexual contact with a person who is under 16 years of age, and (A) the victim at the time of the offense is residing in the same household as the offender and the offender has authority over the victim; or (B) the offender occupies a position of authority in relation to the victim. (b) Sexual abuse of a minor in the second degree is a class B felony. Sec. 11.41.438. Sexual abuse of a minor in the third degree. (a) An offender commits the crime of sexual abuse of a minor in the third degree if (1) being 16 years of age or older, the offender engages in sexual contact with a person who is 13, 14, or 15 years of age and at least three years younger than the offender; (2) being 18 years of age or older, the offender engages in sexual penetration with a person who is 16 or 17 years of age and at least three years younger than the offender, and the offender occupies a position of authority in relation to the victim; or (3) being under 16 years of age, the offender engages in sexual penetration with a person who is under 13 years of age and at least three years younger than the offender. (b) Sexual abuse of a minor in the third degree is a class C felony. Sec. 11.41.440. Sexual abuse of a minor in the fourth degree. (a) An offender commits the crime of sexual abuse of a minor in the fourth degree if (1) being under 16 years of age, the offender engages in sexual contact with a person who is under 13 years of age and at least three years younger than the offender; or (2) being 18 years of age or older, the offender engages in sexual contact with a person who is 16 or 17 years of age and at least three years younger than the offender, and the offender occupies a position of authority in relation to the victim. (b) Sexual abuse of a minor in the fourth degree is a class A misdemeanor. Sec. 11.41.443. Spousal relationship no defense. [Repealed, Sec. 61 ch 50 SLA 1989. For current law, see (b)]. Repealed or Renumbered Sec. 11.41.445. General provisions. (a) In a prosecution under AS 11.41.434 - 11.41.440 it is an affirmative defense that, at the time of the alleged offense, the victim was the legal spouse of the defendant unless the offense was committed without the consent of the victim. (b) In a prosecution under AS 11.41.410 - 11.41.440, whenever a provision of law defining an offense depends upon a victim's being under a certain age, it is an affirmative defense that, at the time of the alleged offense, the defendant (1) reasonably believed the victim to be that age or older; and (2) undertook reasonable measures to verify that the victim was that age or older. Sec. 11.41.450. Incest. (a) A person commits the crime of incest if, being 18 years of age or older, that person engages in sexual penetration with another who is related, either legitimately or illegitimately, as (1) an ancestor or descendant of the whole or half blood; (2) a brother or sister of the whole or half blood; or (3) an uncle, aunt, nephew, or niece by blood. (b) Incest is a class C felony. Sec. 11.41.452. Online enticement of a minor. (a) A person commits the crime of online enticement of a minor if the person, being 18 years of age or older, knowingly uses a computer to communicate with another person to entice, solicit, or encourage the person to engage in an act described in AS 11.41.455 (a)(1) - (7) and (1) the other person is a child under 16 years of age; or (2) the person believes that the other person is a child under 16 years of age. (b) In a prosecution under (a)(2) of this section, it is not a defense that the person enticed, solicited, or encouraged was not actually a child under 16 years of age. (c) In a prosecution under this section, it is not necessary for the prosecution to show that the act described in AS 11.41.455 (a)(1) - (7) was actually committed. (d) Except as provided in (e) of this section, online enticement is a class C felony. (e) Online enticement is a class B felony if the defendant was, at the time of the offense, required to register as a sex offender or child kidnapper under AS 12.63 or a similar law of another jurisdiction. Sec. 11.41.455. Unlawful exploitation of a minor. (a) A person commits the crime of unlawful exploitation of a minor if, in the state and with the intent of producing a live performance, film, audio, video, electronic, or electromagnetic recording, photograph, negative, slide, book, newspaper, magazine, or other material that visually or aurally depicts the conduct listed in (1) - (7) of this subsection, the person knowingly induces or employs a child under 18 years of age to engage in, or photographs, films, records, or televises a child under 18 years of age engaged in, the following actual or simulated conduct: (1) sexual penetration; (2) the lewd touching of another person's genitals, anus, or breast; (3) the lewd touching by another person of the child's genitals, anus, or breast; (4) masturbation; (5) bestiality; (6) the lewd exhibition of the child's genitals; or (7) sexual masochism or sadism. (b) A parent, legal guardian, or person having custody or control of a child under 18 years of age commits the crime of unlawful exploitation of a minor if, in the state, the person permits the child to engage in conduct described in (a) of this section knowing that the conduct is intended to be used in producing a live performance, film, audio, video, electronic, or electromagnetic recording, photograph, negative, slide, book, newspaper, magazine, or other material that visually or aurally depicts the conduct. (c) Unlawful exploitation of a minor is a (1) class B felony; or (2) class A felony if the person has been previously convicted of unlawful exploitation of a minor in this jurisdiction or a similar crime in this or another jurisdiction. (d) In this section, "audio recording" means a nonbook prerecorded item without a visual component, and includes a record, tape, cassette, and compact disc. Sec. 11.41.458. Indecent exposure in the first degree. (a) An offender commits the crime of indecent exposure in the first degree if the offender violates AS 11.41.460 (a), the offense occurs within the observation of a person under 16 years of age, and (1) while committing the act constituting the offense, the offender knowingly masturbates; or (2) the offender has been previously convicted under (A) this section; (B) AS 11.41.460 (a); or (C) a law or ordinance of this or another jurisdiction with elements similar to a crime listed under (A) or (B) of this paragraph. (b) Indecent exposure in the first degree is a class C felony. Sec. 11.41.460. Indecent exposure in the second degree. (a) An offender commits the crime of indecent exposure in the second degree if the offender knowingly exposes the offender's genitals in the presence of another person with reckless disregard for the offensive, insulting, or frightening effect the act may have. (b) Indecent exposure in the second degree before a person under 16 years of age is a class A misdemeanor. Indecent exposure in the second degree before a person 16 years of age or older is a class B misdemeanor. Sec. 11.41.468. Forfeiture of property used in sexual offense. (a) Property used to aid a violation of AS 11.41.410 - 11.41.458 or to aid the solicitation of, attempt to commit, or conspiracy to commit a violation of AS 11.41.410 - 11.41.458 may be forfeited to the state upon the conviction of the offender. (b) In this section, "property" means computer equipment, telecommunications equipment, photography equipment, video or audio equipment, books, magazines, photographs, videotapes, audiotapes, and any equipment or device, regardless of format or technology employed, that can be used to store, create, modify, receive, transmit, or distribute digital or analog information, including images, motion pictures, and sounds. Sec. 11.41.470. Definitions. For purposes of AS 11.41.410 - 11.41.470, unless the context requires otherwise, (1) "health care worker" includes a person who is or purports to be an anesthesiologist, acupuncturist, chiropractor, dentist, health aide, hypnotist, massage therapist, mental health counselor, midwife, nurse, nurse practitioner, osteopath, naturopath, physical therapist, physical therapy assistant, physician, physician assistant, psychiatrist, psychologist, psychological associate, radiologist, religious healing practitioner, surgeon, x-ray technician, or a substantially similar position; (2) "incapacitated" means temporarily incapable of appraising the nature of one's own conduct or physically unable to express unwillingness to act; (3) "legal guardian" means a person who is under a duty to exercise general supervision over a minor or other person committed to the custody of the Department of Health and Social Services under AS 47.10 or AS 47.12 as a result of a court order, statute, or regulation, and includes Department of Health and Social Services employees, foster parents, and staff members and other employees of group homes or youth facilities where the minor or other person is placed as a result of a court order or the action of the Department of Health and Social Services, and police officers, probation officers, and social workers when those persons are exercising custodial control over a minor or other person. (4) "mentally incapable" means suffering from a mental disease or defect that renders the person incapable of understanding the nature or consequences of the person's conduct, including the potential for harm to that person; (5) "position of authority" means an employer, youth leader, scout leader, coach, teacher, counselor, school administrator, religious leader, doctor, nurse, psychologist, guardian ad litem, babysitter, or a substantially similar position, and a police officer or probation officer other than when the officer is exercising custodial control over a minor; (6) "sexual act" means sexual penetration or sexual contact; (7) "victim" means the person alleged to have been subjected to sexual assault in any degree or sexual abuse of a minor in any degree; ( "without consent" means that a person (A) with or without resisting, is coerced by the use of force against a person or property, or by the express or implied threat of death, imminent physical injury, or kidnapping to be inflicted on anyone; or (B) is incapacitated as a result of an act of the defendant.

Posted by: Darrell at September 01, 2008 12:28 PM (d22B5)

6 D, I ain't readin' that. I get paid to read #@#*% like that. The argument will continue on what has the correct stopping power like Cape Buffaloes, grizzlies, elephants, and liberals like Michael Moore. I think a high-powered rifle would be best. If you use a scattergun, bring the 10-gauge. Dangerous game of a certain type should not be taken with sidearms, no matter how specialized they are. You'd be better off bowhunting that Cape Buffalo than trying to take on an overweight bottom-feeding Lower-48 reporter with a handgun. Please. Play it safe.

Posted by: Attila Girl at September 01, 2008 04:59 PM (TpmQk)

7 Going through someone's garbage can at night in Alaska is fairly dangerous -- one could easily be mistaken for a bear. No much fun being shot with bear rifle.

Posted by: Kevin Murphy at September 01, 2008 05:48 PM (roJck)

8 Very well put, Miss Atilla. In decent, kind but firm terms. However, if I were the Palins, I would put white powder all over my trash before I dropped it into the garbage can. Easy way to keep the OBurkha PI's from rifling through their personal property. As for the Tass/Pravda Media Types, they are too busy praying to Gaia for Katrina IV, getting yoga lessons from Google and letting the Meth-heads over at Kos and DuH do their work for them. That is, go under the bellies of the cockroaches they share their shantys with and try to start rumors and throw slanders against the Palin's that would even disgust a NAMBLA member. By the way, I liked the Hottie/Snotty image you have the on the sidebar. I grabbed a copy and dropped it over on my site. Hope you are having a great Labor Day weekend! Nos

Posted by: NosferatusCoffin at September 01, 2008 05:48 PM (JG8am)

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