There's a fascinating book out by a woman named Norah Vincent, about her experience cross-living [dressing as a male, and taking on a male persona] for some months. It contains tremendous insight into some of the issues men cope with day after day.

Insty plucks out some of her observations on the heterosexual dating scene from "the other side," and receives e-mail from some tired veterans of the gender wars.

Male, female, gay, or straight—we've all just got to be nicer to each other.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 12:38 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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1 I haven't read anything but a few bloggers' comments, but the photo of said author as a man is totally asexual . . . What kind of woman would have found that attractive?

Posted by: Sissy Willis at January 20, 2006 08:00 AM (FU1id)

2 What kind of woman would have found that attractive? Dunno. Perhaps the ones who dig "metrosexuals"? also, we have to keep in mind that the events described in the book happened in LA. Ummm, that would be "Los Angeles", not "Lower Alabama". :-)

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at January 20, 2006 11:01 AM (1hM1d)

3 For many women, personality and brains really are paramount in terms of considering men as potential mates. So a wicked sense of humor would have drawn a lot of women to at least have dinner with this person, if not sleep with him (her). It also looks like she got some professional help--perhaps from some of the makeup artists who specialize in helping transsexuals.

Posted by: Attila Girl at January 20, 2006 11:40 AM (/y+/O)

4 For many women, personality and brains really are paramount in terms of considering men as potential mates. I had forgotten that looks ranked lower, maybe 5 or 6, depending on the woman involved. D'oh! I seem to have forgotten more about women that I ever knew.

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at January 20, 2006 02:50 PM (1hM1d)

5 at my age, it just ain't worth it to go through it all again only to end up with yet another petulant woman-child unwilling or incapable of accepting responsibility for her own happiness and success in life Preach it, brother! I would not. If heaven forbid I found myself single at this point, I would not go through it again. The minefield is all that much thicker since nearly twenty years ago when I hooked up for life.

Posted by: Desert Cat at January 20, 2006 04:39 PM (B2X7i)

6 Yeah. I'm done, too. My spouse has ruined me for anyone else. Of course, if I found myself in an alternate unmarried dimension, I might check into strictly recreational possibilities . . . but that's different.

Posted by: Attila Girl at January 20, 2006 07:10 PM (/y+/O)

7 Oh quite! Recreation is something altogether different.

Posted by: Desert Cat at January 20, 2006 07:55 PM (xdX36)

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"what an uppity gender."

Posted by: Attila Girl at 02:23 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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There are endless variations, really:

• Among my high-school crowd, it had to do with how many digits of Pi one had memorized;

• Within my evangelical crowd, it's a matter of how quickly one can come up with a chapter and verse from Scripture, given its content;

• When I'm with my husband's friends, the goal appears to be coming up with that one line of the evening that has a roomful of jaded people laughing out loud;

• Some men appear to think it has to do with how much money they make, and this is the dullest kind of macho out there;

• With my gay male friends it's often "who has the nicest home?" (And, please: do not tell me gay men aren't macho. That's an urban myth. It's just a bit subtler: men are men, whether they're gay or straight.)

• Among bloggers, it all comes down to 1) traffic, and 2) whether you've actually made a dollar or two off of this bad habit, or might be likely to.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 11:57 AM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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