May 09, 2008

Please Buy Ads.

And send me money. It makes me even more brilliant.


(I was just looking at my stats, and noticed that they spiked last Friday, in a non-Insty kind of way. So I was happy at first, until I realized it was just because I had used the word "cunt." That's a silly, arbitrary reason to see an uptick in one's traffic.

It's as if people are just looking for the word cunt on the web, and if one were desperate enough for traffic, one could just drop it in and watch the hits roll in. Spam spam spam spam cunt cunt cunt cunt.

Please buy ads and save me from becoming the internet equivalent of a verbal coke-whore.

Or, to put it another way [channeling Blazing Saddles]: "one false move, and the cunt gets it."

Please, please, do what she says. [Eyes wide, chest heaving.] I think she means it!)

Posted by: Attila Girl at 10:47 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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May 06, 2008

Today: 400,000 Hits Total.

Of course, this is significantly less than many others who've been at it for the same amount of time as I have. (Over five years—though who's counting?)

And yet, it's a lovely thing; now if only I could get this site to pay for itself! Soon, soon.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 03:39 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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April 15, 2008

Well, Mu.Nu Is Baaaaaaccckk!

Which means that (1) you can read my awful blog; (2) I can add more sucky entries to my awful blog; and (3) if I can remember what they were, I can add all the juicy items I wanted to post this afternoon.

In case I do not get around to this, please note that they were brilliant posts: pithy observations, scintillating links. Trenchant analyses. All flirting—nay, petting heavily—with cliché. All worthy of Pulitzer Prizes/Instalanches.

Thank you, Pixy, for rescuing us once more. Even if it's only people on the Big Important Sites (e.g., Ace and Rusty) who get these personal postings from The Australian Rock Star Himself. It's because they're male, right? Or because they have actual readers? Maybe it's because they know more Latin than I do.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 06:47 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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April 03, 2008

Listen, People.

My traffic is dropping like a stone. This might reflect the fact that I'm simply not posting lately.

Fair enough. But you know what happens when my traffic goes down? My self-esteem suffers.

I would hate, of course, for that to affect your decisions about your web-surfing. Oh, no. The last thing I want is mercy hits. But you might consider hitting my tip jar every time you don't go to this site when you otherwise might have, for the petty reason that I'm not actually providing content this week/this month.

Do it for the children. (No, no, not mine: you'll recall that I don't have any. I meant children in the abstract. The unassailable goodness of my intentions are signified by my mentioning the next generation, you see.)

Posted by: Attila Girl at 10:45 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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March 24, 2008

Come on, People.

Nearly a thousand hits yesterday; today, I barely got 300.

Um. Spic?*

Wop? **

How about this one: if you don't visit my site faithfully, every single day, you're a dirty pig-dog.


* That's Spaniards, right?

** Isn't that Italians? I grew up on Southern California, so I'm not good at this. I have to ask my friends who are from big cities for the translations sometimes.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 05:53 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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March 22, 2008

What's with the Spam?

Are the bots programmed by time zone? Do they now assume that 2:30 a.m. is a good time to try to get in here? And where the hell is Fluffy?—isn't it lunchtime or something in Australia? Anyway, guard dogs aren't supposed to sleep that deeply.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 01:29 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Have I Written Anything You Really Liked?

I keep feeling like I should start a "Best of Little Miss Attila" doohickey on the sidebar. (Actually, it would probably be an "Essential Little Miss Attila"). But of course I haven't written anything that I really like.


Anyone have any favorites? Or does anyone have any favorite subjects I've written on? Do you prefer the political tears, or the bits of imaginary dialogue? Am I better when I'm nice, or when I'm a bitch?

Or am I getting too commercial anyway? Perhaps I'm on the verge of selling out.

I certainly hope so.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 01:25 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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March 14, 2008

Mike: Another Mean, Insensitive Guy at The Jawa Report.

Of course having a headache from bright lighting in your cell is torture.

I don't understand those guys over at Jawa.

I mean, I've been victimized in a similar way: for instance, every time someone either (1) goes a full 24 hours without visiting my website, or (2) reads my blog without hitting my tipjar, I die just a little bit inside.

I'm a victim, I tell you. And I'm a human being.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 10:59 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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March 01, 2008

Some Blogging Business:

1) Circa late March or (more likely) April, I'll be developing some podcasts—in order to better serve my readers, and to keep my oversized ego inflated like a giant beach ball near Santa Monica's Lifeguard Station #8.

I'm thinking of calling it "Attila the Honey," in a tribute to the late Triticale (who dubbed me that), but have also considered "The Scourge of Europe Show."

Right now, of course, I'm taking suggestions for both possible names for the show, and the first dozen or so topics/guests. If you're a sound engineer, I'll probably be contacting you privately for advice, but just to be fair, I'll likely let you buy me lunch or a drink as you dispense guidance. (Isn't that how it works? Whaddya mean, "no"?)

2) For the next three weeks, blogging will be a bit sporadic as we get the house ready for sale; after that, I'll likely be gearing up for a high-intensity six-week stint at the office, while continuing to market the house and start up the podcasting side of things. Naturally, I'm looking for co-bloggers to get me through the next 2-3 months without letting my traffic take too much of a dive. I'm looking for newswriters, linkers/meme-trackers, humorists and those with twisted interests in crime or libertarianism, or those with eclectic tastes in writers. (My co-bloggers do not, for example, have to be fans of James Thurber, Virginia Woolf, Jane Austen, and William Butler Yeats. Though of course reading those people doesn't look bad on your resume.)

For the record, I will not edit your material with a blunt instrument. I (almost) promise. The fact is, I'm going to be far too busy to fold, spindle, or mutilate your prose. So take advantage: the cat will be away, and mice should play.

This blog is open to both "out" and anonymous bloggers.

3) I've forgotten what the third thing was. Can I get back to you on that?

As always, leave your feedback in the comments section—or send me an email: miss.attila --AT-- gmail --DOT-- com.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 02:44 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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January 14, 2008

I am such a bad blogger

So Attila Chick asked me to step in and post a few things while she's away, and well, I plumb forgot. So, better late than never, right?

CTG

Posted by: Pixy Misa at 12:20 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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June 20, 2007

Wow. No Traffic.

What's a girl to do?—must I threaten to publish a bust shot to get my readers back?

Posted by: Attila Girl at 10:16 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
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June 17, 2007

Remember:

We're all about the tough love at this blog. Other bloggers have the attitude that "if you build it, they will come."

But not me. I'm more of the mindset that if my traffic falters, I might well stop providing content, which would of course lead to mass suicide among my readership.

It would be a shame if that were to happen.

I'm driving the Cruiser up to Shell Beach late this afternoon to see my father, my uncle and aunt, and my grandmother.

So I'll be checking my SiteMeter stats on late today (Sunday) or early on Monday.

If I like what I see, I'll post some more. If not, well . . .

Posted by: Attila Girl at 04:35 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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April 29, 2007

Out of Action, Tonight.

I'm working on my motive, and doing character sketches. Sorry! But my deadline is a scary one, so blogging and housework are the first things to go. Be thankful you don't live with me.

My sidebar is your friend, and with any luck I'll be back later tonight, or first thing in the morning. After all, I still have some writing to do on Senator McCain.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 09:22 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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April 27, 2007

Safari Problem Solved!

I still had some of the old Blogads code lingering in my template. I thought I had removed the cancer, but—alas!—more surgery was required.

The person responsible was harshly reprimanded, and then treated to a dirty martini. (Kind of a good cop/bad cop approach to behavior mod.)

Posted by: Attila Girl at 02:21 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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April 19, 2007

Light Blogging Today!

We're shopping for a car, and I'm behind on my pages for the Arizona mystery. See you tomorrow (or whenever)!

The house recommends: The cotillion blogroll on my sidebar.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 02:30 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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April 18, 2007

So. How Are My Links and Comments Working?

Right now, it appears that the Mac/Safari people are screwed on my site, whereas the Wintel/Explorer people are holding their own.

Let me know, boys and girls. Just give me system-browswer-what's working.

Thanks!

Posted by: Attila Girl at 03:38 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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April 15, 2007

Nice Little Site on Your "Favorites" List . . . .

It would be a shame if something happened to it.

My traffic took a dive over the weekend. Now, I understand that some of you were put off by the facts that:

1) I didn't really post on Saturday or Sunday;
2) The site was taking forever to load, because I still had the old Blogads script in my templates;
3) Comments weren't working;
4) There were moments that mu.nu itself appeared to be down;
5) I'm a snotty, rather irritating person.

However, you know what happens when my traffic drops too drastically: I reach for my smelling salts, and then I stop posting entirely, even during the week. Yes, I know that other bloggers—weak-willed, spineless ones—assume that "if I build it, they might come."

That doesn't fly here. My philosophy is, "if they show up, and I feel like it, I might entertain them.

So be sure to show up, and leave me lots of comments. If the mu.nu comments are down, please write your concerns on a $50 bill and mail them to me via the U.S. Postal service. Remember: the money will go to a good cause. Me.


UPDATE: Since I'm in an unsentimental mood, the text "during the wee" above has been corrected to read "during the week." I do, however, still reserve the right to blog while on the potty, and there's not a thing you can do about it. (And if you're on the phone with me and hear tinkly noises? Those must be my wind chimes.)

Posted by: Attila Girl at 11:15 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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April 08, 2007

And Yet More Blogkeeping . . .

My four-year blogversary was a few weeks ago. Within another week or two, I expect to reach the 300,000-hit mark.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 05:27 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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April 07, 2007

Happy Easter!

Blogging will be light today as A the H and I head up the coast to have Easter dinner with my uncle, aunt, grandmother, brother, sister-in-law, and nephews in Pismo Beach.

I'll try to grab some sexy coastline shots and post them circa Monday.

If you do celebrate Easter, do try to remember the reason for the season.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 11:06 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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January 29, 2007

I'm Back. Sort Of.

After a stressful family weekend, I'm catching up around the house and the office.

Blogging should pick up toward the end of the week, but next weekend is also a big family fandango (cousins this time, instead of the nephews we hosted this past weekend).

So hang in there. And visit a lot, even though I won't be posting. Just because I'm not blogging doesn't mean I won't be obsessively checking my traffic, you know.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 03:56 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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