March 01, 2006

One Definition of a "Good Aunt"

One who's seen 4-5 acts over the past 25 years at L.A.'s Wiltern Theatre, and can help you figure out which seats will be the best when you go there for a rock concert this spring.

Yeah. I got niece points. They're good to have.

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Oh, Those Crunchy Cons

Yeah. I like the Birkenstocks and granola, but that Puritanical (or "quasi-Amish") streak in Crunchy Town drives me nuts, especially when its denizens start putting down individual choices. If I wanted to live in a cultural straitjacket, I'd move to Berkeley, wouldn't I?

Cam Edwards is even more skeptical than I am, and takes on Caleb Stegall over his bizarre notion that Childcare Is Generally a Bad Thing.

Cam imagines that the issue might be a teensy bit more complicated than that.

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February 23, 2006

Jealousy

With writer's group looming tonight, I look at all the raw material I have in my files. As usual, every single thing I've ever written sucks. If it doesn't suck, I've already read it aloud in group and received the usual critiques ("less dialogue, please" "is that really autobiographical? You're a fucking freak, aren't you?" "Your fiction has too many characters in it, and I can't keep 'em straight." "Do you ever think of anything other than sex?" [Answers: fuck off, yes, fuck off, no]).

I should read from my Big-Ass Crime Novel, but that sucks more than usual this week. In desperation, I turn to an embryonic piece I've had on the back burner for a while about triangle relationships in my teenage years. I start to flesh it out, and end up with something I'm (just barely) willing to read tonight. Presumably that will end up being part of my looming semi-autobiographical flim-flam.

But at least I'm not writing poetry any more, which is a step up. I think.

When all else fails, I metaphorically take off my clothes: the story begins with my feelings about jealousy, and a few snapshots from times I felt it very strongly. I'm not discussing envy, here: I'm talking about jealousy, when you desire attention from someone who's enraptured by another person. It's an amazing feeling, because it's so purely an expression of id. And it's the most bald-faced liar of any emotion: what else can make you murderous at the same time you feel disempowered and insignificant?

When I shut off the computer in relief to make myself my eighteenth cup of tea for the day, I think about the songs I've heard that have tried to capture not just the pain of jealousy, but its ugliness as well. How do you write about an experience so universal, so painful, and so prone to transform the sufferer into a complete monster?

The partial green-eyed discography:

• "Jealous Again," The Black Crowes
• "Alison," Elvis Costello
• "Jealousy," by the Gin Blossoms, which conveys the energy, but not necessarily the excruciating pain of the experience.
• "Is She Really Going Out with Him?" Joe Jackson
• that Marianne Faithfull song "Why D'ya Do It?" which documents the ugliness of jealousy, but fails IMHO because it becomes ugly itself.
• "Jealous Again," Black Flag
• the Alannis Morissette song "You Oughta Know." This might be the best effort: it's got plenty of energy, which—say what you migh—jealousy will give you, though I don't mean that in a good way. ("Will she go down on you in a theater?" "And every time I run my fingers down his back, I hope you feel it—yeah, do you feel it?")
• The Pursuit of Happiness' "It's Hard to Laugh" ("You have to laugh to prevent yourself from cryin'").
• "Jealousy" by Queen; one of the reflective, mournful takes.
• "I Want You," by Elvis Costello, which is quiet and reflective, but no less intense than tunes with lots of drums and bass. It tears my heart out every time I hear it. ("I want to hear the things you do that we did, too . . . were you fool enough to love it when you heard him say, 'I want you'?")

Did your id ever lie to you more than when you were jealous? And how did you come to terms with the situation?

Do you know anyone who escaped this?—and did they really, or did they just learn to lie and pretend they were above it?

How ugly did you get when you were jealous? What's the worst thing you've ever done under its influence? (No criminal confessions, please. Don't make me call the cops or anything like that.)

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February 21, 2006

Queen vs. Led Zepp.

Discuss.

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February 02, 2006

What's in a Name?

My stepmother postulates that no one is ever entirely happy with his/her first name. Discuss.

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November 30, 2005

Western Civilization Ends

. . . in Britain.

Oh, well. Back to the old drawing board, then.

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November 17, 2005

Nice.

God hates shrimp.

Gays, He's easy-going about. (See "prostitutes, hanging out with.")

Shrimp, He hates.


Via Reynolds.

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November 15, 2005

Who's Afraid of a Gang of Chinese Olympic Games Mascots?

Jeff Harrell is. Me, I think they're kind of cute.

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November 13, 2005

Lileks on the War of the Discounters

His insight? Target can be beat. His proposals: remarkably specific.


Via Insty.

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November 11, 2005

More on Wal-Mart

Glenn links to the trailer for Why Wal-Mart Works, and Why That Makes Some People Crazy.

I'm just as perplexed by the hostility. After all, the same people who complain about Wal-Mart very often make regular runs to Costco, where they buy a little more than they need to for the sake of getting the best per-unit price (storing the excess in their larger-than average homes).

People on restrictive budgets, of course, can't afford to do this. Apparently my anti-Wal-Mart friends would prefer that they live in (even greater) material deprivation, buying fewer products from overpriced local stores. Glenn:

I prefer Tarzhay myself for its more upscale ambience, but my discomfort with Wal-Mart is purely aesthetic, and I think it's odd that some people see it as evil incarnate. [ . . .] I think there's a class issue: Wal-Mart is unavoidable evidence that the American working classes don't think, or live, the way the American thinking classes want to imagine. For this sin, Wal-Mart can never be forgiven.

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November 10, 2005

They've Arrived!

My Nancy Drew mysteries from eBay. Some liberry was getting rid of them until the nice lady in the northwest rescued them; they're marked "DISCARD"!

They are all the revised versions (the 20-chapter format) that were supposedly purged of racism/guns and "refined" in the 50s/60s. I'm pretty sure those are the editions I read as a child: in my day, all Nancy Drew books had yellow spines (these have violet spines).

So, eat your heart out, Hubris. I'll soon be re-reading:

The Mystery at Lilac Inn (1961)

The Clue of the Dancing Puppet (1962)

The Clue of the Velvet Mask (1953/1969)

The Hidden Window Mystery (1956/1975)

and The Mystery of the Brass Bound Trunk (1976)

Then I'll save them for my little girl, so she can have a warped notion of female identity and a fascination for All Things Criminal, too.

("Mom! Your work is so derivative! You can't decide whether you want to be Michael Connelly or Dorothy L. Sayers. I mean, at least get the hard-boiled/tea cozy distinction down. And all that gratuitous sex is just gross!)

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October 31, 2005

So Now I'm an Official PoMo.

Mom will be so proud: "that's wonderful, Dear. But I've been meaning to talk to you about your sugar intake." (This from a woman who, at my age, had a secret hidden stash of Snickers Bars in the house that her boyfriend didn't know about.)

theory slut
You are a Theory Slut. The true elite of the
postmodernists, you collect avant-garde
Indonesian hiphop compilations and eat journal
articles for breakfast. You positively live
for theory. It really doesn't matter what
kind, as long as the words are big and the
paragraph breaks few and far between.


What kind of postmodernist are you!?
brought to you by Quizilla


Via Lauren at Feministe.

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October 27, 2005

Congratulations

To John P., Mary, Timothy Sr., Jim, Mare and the whole clan.

Just a little shout-out to my relatives in a certain region of the upper Midwest. I have the impression that you waited for this for . . . well, weeks.

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October 10, 2005

Steyn

. . . penned an analysis of European politics that made me want to drink red wine, smoke cigarettes and strongly consider suicide at an outdoor cafe.

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September 29, 2005

Darleen Weighs In

. . . on the questions: "is our culture broken? And, if so, where does it hurt?"

And she's spot on.

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September 26, 2005

I Really Miss

. . . Freddie.

I've thought about trying to see "Queen" when they play SoCal, but I know it wouldn't be the same; it might just make me very, very sad.

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September 25, 2005

More on Mitchell and Bowie

And, speaking of music, riddle me this:

If you could only collect the albums/CDs of two musical artists or groups, which two would they be?

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"How Can You Only Listen

. . . to two singer/songwriters?" my friend Lorna earnestly asked her crush Elaine. "I like Bowie a lot, but doesn't a steady diet of him and Joni Mitchell get dull?"

This was in the late 70s. Elaine responded, "I'm afraid to listen to anyone else. If I decided I liked them, I might be tempted to buy their albums. And, above all, I'm cheap. I can't afford a new artist or group."

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We Saw the Eagles Play

at Staples Center tonight.

They played guitar and sang pretty songs.

We were in the balcony, with all the drunk people. But it was still fun.

Okay, bye.

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August 18, 2005

Important Questions

Just to get serious for a moment:

1) Angelina Jolie, or Jennifer Aniston?

2) Ginger, or Mary Ann?

3) Did your answers to questions 1 and 2 line up on the "wholesomeness" scale, or on the "dark hair vs. fair hair" scale?

Discuss. All are invited to comment, though comments by straight men and gay women will be weighed more heavily in this very scientific survey.

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