March 01, 2006
One Definition of a "Good Aunt"
One who's seen 4-5 acts over the past 25 years at L.A.'s
Wiltern Theatre, and can help you figure out which seats will be the best when you go there for a rock concert this spring.
Yeah. I got niece points. They're good to have.
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Oh, Those Crunchy Cons
Yeah. I like the Birkenstocks and granola, but that Puritanical (or "quasi-Amish") streak in
Crunchy Town drives me nuts, especially when its denizens start putting down individual choices. If I wanted to live in a cultural straitjacket, I'd move to Berkeley, wouldn't I?
Cam Edwards is even more skeptical than I am, and takes on Caleb Stegall over his bizarre notion that Childcare Is Generally a Bad Thing.
Cam imagines that the issue might be a teensy bit more complicated than that.
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If they had just said "childcare is generally a bad thing", they might have had a case to argue. I'd disagree, but I'd listen.
But they say "conservative leaders and spokesmen ought to be saying loud and often that with a few exceptions, anyone who would place an infant in daycare is a negligent parent and a negligent citizen". They're not crunchy, they're
nuts.
Posted by: Pixy Misa at March 02, 2006 05:30 PM (RbYVY)
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Yeah. And I had such high hopes for the crunchy cons when I heard that they like to shop at Whole Foods Markets. I'm sooooooo pro-yummy food.
("not crunchy--nuts." Pixy, do you have any idea how many bloggers are probably kicking themselves right now for not having come up with this formulation first? Dang you're good.)
Posted by: Attila Girl at March 02, 2006 07:16 PM (s96U4)
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February 23, 2006
Jealousy
With writer's group looming tonight, I look at all the raw material I have in my files. As usual, every single thing I've ever written sucks. If it doesn't suck, I've already read it aloud in group and received the usual critiques ("less dialogue, please" "is that really autobiographical? You're a fucking freak, aren't you?" "Your fiction has too many characters in it, and I can't keep 'em straight." "Do you ever think of anything other than sex?" [Answers: fuck off, yes, fuck off, no]).
I should read from my Big-Ass Crime Novel, but that sucks more than usual this week. In desperation, I turn to an embryonic piece I've had on the back burner for a while about triangle relationships in my teenage years. I start to flesh it out, and end up with something I'm (just barely) willing to read tonight. Presumably that will end up being part of my looming semi-autobiographical flim-flam.
But at least I'm not writing poetry any more, which is a step up. I think.
When all else fails, I metaphorically take off my clothes: the story begins with my feelings about jealousy, and a few snapshots from times I felt it very strongly. I'm not discussing envy, here: I'm talking about jealousy, when you desire attention from someone who's enraptured by another person. It's an amazing feeling, because it's so purely an expression of id. And it's the most bald-faced liar of any emotion: what else can make you murderous at the same time you feel disempowered and insignificant?
When I shut off the computer in relief to make myself my eighteenth cup of tea for the day, I think about the songs I've heard that have tried to capture not just the pain of jealousy, but its ugliness as well. How do you write about an experience so universal, so painful, and so prone to transform the sufferer into a complete monster?
The partial green-eyed discography:
• "Jealous Again," The Black Crowes
• "Alison," Elvis Costello
• "Jealousy," by the Gin Blossoms, which conveys the energy, but not necessarily the excruciating pain of the experience.
• "Is She Really Going Out with Him?" Joe Jackson
• that Marianne Faithfull song "Why D'ya Do It?" which documents the ugliness of jealousy, but fails IMHO because it becomes ugly itself.
• "Jealous Again," Black Flag
• the Alannis Morissette song "You Oughta Know." This might be the best effort: it's got plenty of energy, which—say what you migh—jealousy will give you, though I don't mean that in a good way. ("Will she go down on you in a theater?" "And every time I run my fingers down his back, I hope you feel it—yeah, do you feel it?")
• The Pursuit of Happiness' "It's Hard to Laugh" ("You have to laugh to prevent yourself from cryin'").
• "Jealousy" by Queen; one of the reflective, mournful takes.
• "I Want You," by Elvis Costello, which is quiet and reflective, but no less intense than tunes with lots of drums and bass. It tears my heart out every time I hear it. ("I want to hear the things you do that we did, too . . . were you fool enough to love it when you heard him say, 'I want you'?")
Did your id ever lie to you more than when you were jealous? And how did you come to terms with the situation?
Do you know anyone who escaped this?—and did they really, or did they just learn to lie and pretend they were above it?
How ugly did you get when you were jealous? What's the worst thing you've ever done under its influence? (No criminal confessions, please. Don't make me call the cops or anything like that.)
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Nothing worse than a little stake-out surveillance action on my part a few years ago and a thorough search of her palm pilot.
As for the id's lying, it does not strike me as incongruous for feelings of impotence, insignificance, and disempowerment to lead to murderous rage on the part of some people. In fact it seems entirely understandable--how enraging to have oneself accounted as nothing. So I'm not sure what you mean by the id lying to you, you know?
Posted by: Stuart Fullerton at February 23, 2006 04:57 PM (REXOp)
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But you aren't nothing. And I'm not, either. Yet in our jealous moments, we get attached to the rather odd notion that
who we are has to do with how much attention so-and-so is paying to us. (And never mind the fact that so-and-so is often a bad match for us.)
That is a lie. We are who we are, and we're precious and valuable. That's entirely independent of what so-and-so thinks or feels.
We, the jealous, are universally feared for our unpredictability and volatility. That's why the cops come looking for us when they find dead bodies.
In an not-unrelated issue, that's also why we get locked up a lot.
Posted by: Attila Girl at February 23, 2006 05:30 PM (s96U4)
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I've seen jealousy swirl and surge around me. I can't say that I've experienced it that much.
The worst was when Daisycat was *trying* to make me jealous the summer we met, by wanting to spend some time with this loser geek she was playing against me.
But I knew it for what it was, let her play her little game, and called her bluff. In the end I got the girl, 'cause I knew the geek just didn't stack up in any way to me.
(*strut, strut, strut*)
Posted by: Desert Cat at February 23, 2006 07:38 PM (xdX36)
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OK, I get it.
I agree that to have one's sense of well-being riding entirely on the estimation of others is to live a lie. But I can think of an example just as bad as jealousy: pride. There the id is lying about how great one is, right?
Posted by: Stuart Fullerton at February 23, 2006 09:13 PM (80oWh)
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Sure (though actually, it's probably the ego telling the lie). However, pride is a much more civilized emotion: jealousy is very primal. Very basic and childlike.
I just have the sense that pride tends to be more complex.
Posted by: Attila Girl at February 23, 2006 11:10 PM (s96U4)
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You have to get hit with jealousy to know what it is. I'm not talking about the few seconds everyone feels now and again, I mean the type that hits like a disease and stays around for years--three, in my case. The type where emotions are kept alive as if the "trigger" had just happened, with the same physiological reactions/responses. I was thirty when I got my "education" and thought myself immune, having experienced breakups before. Twenty-one years have passed and I still don't want to think about it for fear that it could all start all over again. Feelings? Absolute powerlessness, hopelessness, and unfairness. It may take two to make a relationship work, but it only takes one to walk away and blow it all to Hell. With no recourse. Friends are useless, and most don't even want to hear the first exposition, much less the constant rehashing. You are totally alone. You realize that everything you do, everything you think of doing, will only make matters worse and leave you looking like more of a fool. And yet you still consider them. You start to think that maybe those that murder their lovers are really the compassionate ones--if she really loved me she would have just given me a triple tap to the head and moved along. I won't be pressing charges.
Posted by: Darrell at February 24, 2006 10:20 AM (uehZJ)
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The devastation of a breakup can be overpowering. Mine haven't had a lot of jealousy in them: mostly the jealousy has been in cases of unrequited love, open relationships. That kind of thing.
The worst breakups I ever had led me to 1) stop eating more than a little for some months. (My weight dropped to about 97 pounds from its healthy 115-120 average at that time.) And: 2) wear nothing but shades of gray and black. (Although I still had to actually break up with that person myself; he'd moved on, though, and I knew it.)
Posted by: Attila Girl at February 24, 2006 12:42 PM (s96U4)
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February 21, 2006
Queen vs. Led Zepp.
Discuss.
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It's nobody's fault but mine that the levee broke as the song remained the same. You know, cause it's been a long time since I personally rock and rolled while going to California with an aching, in my heart. It's like, Crunge tim, and I just can't find that bridge. I also got knocked backassward going in through the out door to the house of the holy.
And it was all Mr Roboto's fault.
Posted by: William Teach at February 21, 2006 02:23 PM (TFSHk)
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"Led Zeppelin, not disco, are the agents of stagnation." - Joe Strummer
Queen, on the other hand, was one of those quasi-glam groups like Sparks that managed to bridge Old School & New Wave
Posted by: beautifulatrocities at February 21, 2006 02:39 PM (wLMQq)
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Related:
Robert Plant vs Ann Wilson. Discuss
Posted by: beautifulatrocities at February 21, 2006 02:40 PM (wLMQq)
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Something tells me you're NOT TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY, JEFF! J'accuse!
Posted by: Attila Girl at February 21, 2006 02:57 PM (XbEp3)
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Yes.
Wait...what was the question again?
Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at February 21, 2006 03:37 PM (1hM1d)
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SERIOUSLY, if I never hear Stairway to Heaven again, it will be TOO SOON. I was a pup during those awful mid 70s when KLOS ruled by playing Layla & Stairway every hour on the hour, in between tired old Beatles & Stones. Zzzzzzz
Posted by: beautifulatrocities at February 21, 2006 04:10 PM (wLMQq)
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"Another One Bites The Dust" was my debate team theme song my senior year. So...I'm a little biased toward Queen, yeah.
"Don't try suicide,
You're just gonna hate it.
Nobody gives
Nobody gives
Nobody gives a damn."
We played that album to death, back in the team room that year.
Posted by: Desert Cat at February 21, 2006 06:10 PM (xdX36)
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For their album, "Magazine," Heart edited "You Shook Me" to cut out a part at the end of the song where Ann Wilson immitated Robert Plant's vocal improvisation from the end of Led Zeppelin's version. So I think it would be Ann Wilson in three rounds tops. Always go with size and mass.
Posted by: Darrell at February 21, 2006 08:41 PM (67ZOx)
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That better not be a fat joke, Buddy . . .
But now I have to hear the original version of that.
Plant's range was impressive, but he never really exploited it like Freddie Mercury did his own.
And just as most Tull fans don't want to hear "Bungle in the Jungle," I have no need to hear "Bohemian Rhapsody." I like the more obscure songs, like "Keep Yourself Alive." Or "The March of the Black Queen," which is really (along with "An Die Freude") my song.
Posted by: Attila Girl at February 21, 2006 09:42 PM (XbEp3)
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It was a size and mass joke, actually. It's all relative.
If you want to hear the original version of "You Shook Me," Mushroom Records pressed 5000 LPs of "Magazine" during the contractual dispute, They were sold in LA and Hollywood, Florida. Look for the disclaimer on the album cover back-- "Mushroom Records regrets that a contractual dispute has made it necessary to complete this record without the cooperation or endorsement of the group Heart, who have expressly disclaimed artistic involvement in completing this record." Make sure you check to see that the song order, sides A and B, varies from the version you can buy at Amazon. Look at the record: Someone can always insert a common record in a collectable sleeve.
Maybe one of your readers can help you. Or someone named "k" in Florida who may visit little record shops and flea markets.
Posted by: Darrell at February 22, 2006 12:21 PM (YzQct)
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Freddy had a distinctive voice and excellent range. Plant was the Sinatra of Heavy Metal, the original type. Queen's best song was Tie Your Mother Down.
Queen had nowhere near the significance that Led Zed had and still has. Jimmy Page owns the best classic rock guitar licks, and the most. Achiles Last Stand, nothing better.
Queen was great. Zepelin was on another, higher plane. I can only stand to listen to Queen's Greatest Hits, and in small doses. Even the worst of the Zepelin albums is still damn good.
Posted by: Elvis at February 23, 2006 10:09 AM (qwHlq)
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Unfortunately, when I was in high school any group had a lot of baggage. The problem with Led Zepp was that it was associated with the "stoner" crowd, and a lot of my friends considered themselves too intellectual for that music. (And my Westwood Village friends were pretty far in the other direction: more toward Black Sabbath, but we had nowhere to go to play music anyway--since we couldn't go home--so we were largely stuck with the radio.)
The fact that a lot of Zeppelin songs got saturation airplay didn't help with this at all. "Stairway," in particular, was the butt of a lot of jokes. I can just barely stand to listen to it now, after three decades or whatever.
Both groups featured incredible musicianship; both groups experimented with different musical styles. Queen had the advantage/disadvangage of comprising guys with Real Jobs in Other Fields, so they could be more playful on their first five albums (Queen, Queen II, Sheer Heart Attack, A Night at the Opera, A Day at the Races).
Brian May is, in my opinion, greatly underrated as a guitarist: after all, Queen didn't use any synthesizers at all on those first five albums--and this was at a time when it was standard procedure to do so. Furthermore, May actually built his own guitar in his father's garage as a teenager.
I can admire Plant's ability to screech on-pitch, but it doesn't thrill me the way Queen's harmonies do--or the way Mercury did when he threw his soul into hitting those bizarre high notes without lapsing into self-parody.
I listen to both, but my heart is with Queen (preferably early Queen).
Posted by: Attila Girl at February 23, 2006 11:56 AM (s96U4)
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oh! k would like to help with a point in the right direction, Darrell, if nothing else.
But, unfortunately, k is a hermit and doesn't get out to the stores much these days. Complicated mobility and health issues, for about the last 15 years. So I wouldn't even know where to start.
That may improve some in the next year or so. We'll see. Meanwhile, there is one interesting thrift store I visit with Walter when he's home, and I'll definitely keep my eyes open there. They have all sorts of interesting stuff, and often enough, they don't know it.
Now: Can you tell me, why in the world did they pick Hollywood, FL?!?
Posted by: k at February 23, 2006 05:39 PM (Ffvoi)
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Oh, I'm sure I could find that album if I could figure out how to play it (along with my all my other vinyl dustcatchers).
Posted by: Attila Girl at February 23, 2006 05:55 PM (s96U4)
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You can still buy turntables, you know...Quite a few of them around, because of professional disk jockeys--the kind that lug vinyl to parties/clubs. Or you can have a pro copy your LPs into digital music files, then to CD...Ignore the "boos and hisses" from the purists. It'll cost you around $14/album. If you go the turntable route, expect to pay somewhere between $200-$400 for a good unit with a quality stylus and cartridge. I did find a $79 deal online that looks interesting(four out of five stars, 24 reviewers at NexTag)... see http://www.onlinecarstereo.com/CarAudio/ProductDetail.aspx?ProductID=15998
But i suspect you would like to have the fun of finding one...
Posted by: Darrell at February 23, 2006 10:02 PM (WSxK9)
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MAGAZINE-Mushroom Records-1977(unauthorized release)
Original vinyl pressing contained the inner groove inscription "At Last" on Side 2.
# MRS-5008 LP
Tracklist: Side One "Heartless"*,"Without You"*,"Just The Wine"*,"Magazine"* Side Two:"Here Song","Devil Delight"*,"Blues Medley-Mother Earth/You Shook Me","I've Got The Music in Me".
The asterisk indicates a different version of the song from the standard available through Amazon, and may include rough lead vocals; different, longer running times; and some different instrumental solos. Mnay of these were live recordings from a 1975 performance at the Aquarius Tavern in North Seattle. Towards the end of the song "Magazine" you can hear a radio playing a eulogy for Elvis in the background. Also in the background you can hear an intro to "Magic Man" played backwards. Heart sued over the album and won the right to re-mix the contents to their satisfaction. That was a first.
Why Hollywood, Florida? I think it is just an East Coast stopping off point. Mushroom(not the Aussie firm with the name now) was in Vancouver, BC. I think they just hit both coasts. If you want to know more, check out the Wikipedia entry for "Charlie Richmond." I'm sure you'll just swoon when they talk about the Universal Audio vacuum tube mixing console and the 40 pre-amps! I know what sets women's hearts fluttering! Or maybe how to put them in a coma? Don't know which--sort of a problem.
I think that gives you enough to search on the Web... We're talking something like $20 for a clean copy here. If you'd like me to check, I have one of the best sources(for vinyl) in the country within 5 minutes of me--Beverly Records.
Posted by: Darrell at February 23, 2006 10:35 PM (WSxK9)
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At the moment, my budget for musical upgrades is zero. With a little luck, though, in six months or so I'll be on the market for a turntable and the Heart album. (Just need another client--or to sell my stupid book--and we'll be off the super-skinny budget.)
Thanks for the info!
Posted by: Attila Girl at February 23, 2006 11:22 PM (s96U4)
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Actually, I was never much of a Heart fan. But the Hollywood, FL bit threw me.
The Ft. Lauderdale airport's actually called the Ft. Lauderdale/Hollywood International Airport. I get this impression they hopped on a plane, dropped off a bunch of records at Peaches', hit the beach and the bars - no SoBe scene, back in the day - then hopped back aboard and headed home.
Posted by: k at February 24, 2006 01:16 PM (Ffvoi)
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Both are great in their own way. Queen were heavily influenced by the early Led Zep (see Queen I and II for evidence), but quickly found their own sound. Both bands were never afraid to experiment with a variety of musical styles - sometimes more successful than others - and like Bowie, that to me is a sign of real musicians. It takes a lot of guts for super-popular bands like them to risk falling on their faces, but I applaud their efforts.
Having seen Zep in 75, and Queen once in 76 and twice in 77. I give the live nod to Mr. Mercury and co. IMHO, Freddie was the greatest frontman rock has ever seen (yup, above Elvis, Jagger, Planty, etc), and he was an entertainer as well as top-notch vocalist and musician. Plus, he was funny and lovable as hell, camping it up to the Nth degree. If you ever get the chance to see or hear bootleg CDs or DVDs of them from 74-77, you'll be stunned at how great they were. I'm saddened that we will probably never see the likes of either band again.
Posted by: Happy the Man at February 25, 2006 12:22 PM (wZLWV)
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I'm afraid I didn't see Queen live until 1980 (circa The Game), after Freddie had cut his hair and gone all macho on us. At the time I saw it as a sort of "sellout"; you know how humorless teenagers can be.
But since then I've seen DVDs of the "macho" Freddie in concert, and it looks like he's really having fun.
Posted by: Attila Girl at February 25, 2006 04:09 PM (s96U4)
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February 02, 2006
What's in a Name?
My stepmother postulates that no one is ever entirely happy with his/her first name. Discuss.
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Richard: Rick: Rich: Richie: Ricky: Dick: Dicky
I love my first name. Sorry.
Posted by: Deep Thought at February 02, 2006 11:26 AM (U2bNV)
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I have no problem with my first name. It's what other people try to do with it that I have issues with.
James is *NOT* Jim. Nor Jimmy, Jim-Bob, Jimbo, Jimmy-Bob-a-wacka-wacka nor any other permutation or bastardization.
It is James. Don't call me Jim--I'm not "Jim". Deal!
...
My boss goes by Charlie. He seems uncomfortable with Charles. However he has on numerous occasions introduced me as Jim. I have yet to work the nerve to refer to him as Charles to the same people, following this mis-introduction.
Posted by: Desert Cat at February 02, 2006 11:46 AM (cjcxo)
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Grandfather was Jack. Dad was Jack Jr. I'm Jack the third. You want to know how many different ways you're name can be screwed up,... LOTS.
The most frustrating parts are;
People comming up to me and saying, "You're Jack's boy,... whats your name".
And people calling me Jackie to differentiate me from my father (he is deceased.)
As I always say to those people, "My mother, sisters, and lovers get to call me Jackie, which one are you?"
Posted by: Jack at February 02, 2006 11:54 AM (eBlOG)
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I always thought Jeff was kinda bland.
Posted by: beautifulatrocities at February 02, 2006 12:11 PM (2owuF)
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I love my name, except when I was a kid they never had "Samantha" on socks or barrettes or any of those other cute personalized plastic things, as I think there were only four of us ever given that name in the entire decade of the 70s.
I do hate that it's popular now though. It was cool being unique, and I can't quite get past hearing someone else being called MY NAME.
Dammit.
You can have my middle name, though, Yuck.
Posted by: caltechgirl at February 02, 2006 12:23 PM (/vgMZ)
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It's a pet peeve of mine that people like to take liberties with other people's names. I generally avoid abbreviating--or deviating from the version I'm given--unless I hear the person do it himself/herself.
I know a lot of Jimmy/James people--guys who use both of those--though in one case the father is Jimmy and the son is James, contrary to some people's expectations.
I like Jack for John, though I only know one man who avails himself of that option, and I certainly know a handful of guys named John. (And a couple Jonathans/Jons. And, dammit, the classic formulation that "Jonathan" is the Jewish version of the name is not correct: I've known a couple of gentile Jonathans. BTW, this is the version of the name I like, since it has a nickname available, which John doesn't, unless you count Jack.)
Jeff/Geoff is/are my favorite guy name. I knew a pair of them when I was 13 (a Geoff and a Jeff). Then someone by that name took me in when I was a homeless teenager, which I think sealed the deal. Now I know lots of Jeffs--online and off. This makes me happy, but it should be remembered that I'm weird.
My brother's first name is Tiger. We called him by his middle name (Allyn) for years, but in college he switched to his real name. Tiger is fine, since it can be shortened to "Tig" (and that's what I call him in direct address).
I despise the name Joy, and I should have ditched it years ago. And now I'm in my 40s and it's too late. It has a diphthong in it, and people always hear it as Julie. And it sounds too much like Joe or Jo. Or Joey. And it isn't quite one syllable, nor really two. I have to spell it for people when I say it, so they don't hear it at Julie or whatever.
I know a few parents who try to control what their kids' nicknames can be: like my friends whose son is named William, which they will allow to become Will--but never Bill. And my nephews: a Michael who can't be called Mike, and an Andrew who can't be called Andy or Drew. You just know that in high school, or in college, or in their first full-time jobs, all of those boys will take the forbidden nicknames.
Posted by: Attila Girl at February 02, 2006 01:41 PM (XbEp3)
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I've never really liked my real first name, believe you have seen it before, Joy. Tried to get people to use my middle name, which is william, never worked out. Sigh.
Posted by: William Teach at February 02, 2006 03:51 PM (V5vwb)
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DesertCat: Preach it, Brother!
I used to be in a situation where I could gently guide the misguided back to calling me James with this:
Jim is the boss. James is me.
Of course, for many years my dad would call me Pete, who was his partner. One of his brothers was also called Pete. And that never once bothered me. Call me Pete, and I'm OK with it. Call me Jim and I rip yah a new one...
Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at February 02, 2006 04:05 PM (1hM1d)
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Your stepmother is on to something. I like my name just fine. I just need another set of people when growing up to interact with, if I ever get a "do-over"... I'd do just fine in a "last-man-on-earth" scenario.
Posted by: Darrell at February 02, 2006 04:20 PM (1QDqz)
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I have no problem with my name. I go by either Steve or Stephen.
I used to crew (sailing) for a guy who called me Jim. He would shout for Jim to trim the jib, and since trimming the jib was my job, I just did it.
I let it go for a couple of months because it sort of amused me.
Posted by: Stephen Macklin at February 02, 2006 04:24 PM (DdRjH)
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Just don't call me late for supper!
Posted by: olddawg at February 02, 2006 07:30 PM (GnUVs)
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I don't mind it too much when my mother calls me by my aunt's name. When she called me by her dog's name once, I drew a line.
Posted by: Attila Girl at February 02, 2006 11:20 PM (XbEp3)
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I always thought Jeff was kinda bland.
Me too, hence the spelling "Xrlq." Apparently that runs in the family. I recently learned that my great grandfather, after whom I was named, had an even more inane spelling of his name (H-A-R-R-Y).
Posted by: Xrlq at February 03, 2006 06:54 AM (P5Ux9)
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My grandparents named their boys Don and Jerry. Not Donald and Jerome/Gerald, but Don and Jerry.
Totally unclear on the concept.
I don't understand you Jeffs: if you're bored, can't you go by Jeffrey?
Posted by: Attila Girl at February 03, 2006 08:12 AM (XbEp3)
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Too funny!!!!!!!
I can relate to Desert Cat with the name James. I didnÂ’t know anyone else, let alone men, were fussy about their names, I thought it was only me.
My name is Rebecca, and if people are too lazy to pronounce three syllablesÂ…Becca will do. HOWEVER, anyone calling me Becky dies!
Ever introduce yourself to someone and they immediately ask what to call you? Uh, Rebecca!
BTW My husbands name is James, goes by JimÂ…one person can call him Jimmy and it ainÂ’t me! He calls me Becs. I love it when I hear him call me that, anyone elseÂ….thatÂ’s iffy!
Posted by: Rebecca at February 03, 2006 08:23 AM (QeBbg)
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That's why I have only one name. Just don't call me "Tilly."
Use Attila; it works much better than Joy, not that I've ever tried that one.
Posted by: Attila (Pillage Idiot) at February 03, 2006 10:08 AM (C31gH)
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My first name has always bothered me a little, although most people seem to think it's fine. I suspect this might have something to do with shaky self-image, since most of us identify so closely with our given names.
I totally agree with James about the nickname issue. Unless we are actually sleeping together, you are not invited to bestow a nickname on me.
Posted by: utron at February 03, 2006 12:21 PM (CgIkY)
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I always thought my first name was kind of boring. But I never felt any particular antipathy toward it. Its reputed translation goes well with my middle and last names though, in a funny way.
It doesn't really have any common nicknames. Rarely, Kay or Kat or Kathy. I don't mind those.
For some reason, several different groups of people - in different circumstances, never met, totally independently - have given me the nickname of George. Imagine my happiness one day when I sat down and counted all the wonderful women writers who penned under *George!*
When meeting someone new, or after knowing them a short time, I often ask what name they prefer being called. Sometimes it's because someone else introduced them and I sensed they didn't like that version. Usually they politely tell me their preference - and sometimes it's different than what they themselves first used. Odd.
Only a couple of times has someone been a bit sarcastic and said, --*...*-- whatever they first told me their name was. I don't mind. I'd rather err on the side of politely verifying how they want to be called. Also, I like to be nosy, and see what they say about how they like their first name and/or nicknames. Also, I was raised like this: *The only "dumb" question is the one you're too afraid to ask.*
Now: Joy? There's a name I've always been in some awe of. Partly because it's a word I'm particularly fond of, and like to use as a very special sort of word. You may not notice that, because using a word that's the same as the name of the person I'm talking to makes me want to edit it out.
But it always made me think this: I cannot imaging someone loving and wanting me so much that when I was born, they called me, Joy.
Hearing you hated it astonished me.
I've always wanted to ask you, is there a story behind how you got named Joy?
Posted by: k at February 03, 2006 06:32 PM (Ffvoi)
19
"Unless we are actually sleeping together, you are not invited to bestow a nickname on me."
Even she can call me a lot of things, but "Jim" is not among them.
I always liked the name Joy. My sister is named Joy.
Posted by: Desert Cat at February 03, 2006 06:36 PM (xdX36)
20
Hm. It might be that I have no objectivity about it whatsoever.
Of course, it's worth noting that I do like the word, and one of the things that annoys me about the name is the fact that I feel inhibited about using the word because . . . it's my name.
My mother has always claimed that she wanted to call me "Robin Gay" instead of "Joy MaryMay" (the double middle name was their Solomon-like solution to the problem of my having two grandmothers). I like the name Robin because it's gender-neutral, so there's a certain mystery about one's sex as a writer until one announces it. Of course, I would have had to either bury the middle name or change it during the Sensuous But Strangely Intolerant Seventies. That wouldn't have survived junior high.
I do know a Margaret who won't accept any shortening of the name, which seems harsh when you've got a three-syllable one. Of course, I love long names: Rebecca/Becca is nice. I'm partial to the names of female monarchs: Catherine/Katherine is cool. Elizabeth is terrific.
Those last two offer about five million nicknames each.
Posted by: Attila Girl at February 03, 2006 06:58 PM (XbEp3)
21
And here, the closest I can come is as a pretender.
Posted by: k at February 03, 2006 10:49 PM (Ffvoi)
22
i don't mind my name, it's just that every other girl born in the mid seventies has it. (i'm currently in an oper with five other jennifers, i kid you not) Jennifer. i use the whole thing. my family calls me fer. i despise jenny. i think mainly because that's what so many of my fellow jennifers switched to in junior high, the goofs.
Posted by: maggie katzen at February 04, 2006 10:07 AM (rVzXG)
23
I don't mind "Jenny," but none of my Jennifer friends use it. And it is a diminutive, with a capital "d." Some insist on the full three syllables, and another couple of 'em use "Jen."
Posted by: Attila Girl at February 04, 2006 11:02 AM (XbEp3)
24
Does this mean your dad chose *Joy*?
Posted by: k at February 05, 2006 10:05 AM (Ffvoi)
25
Neither one of them will cop to it. Apparently, it just floated down from the sky in the form of pre-arranged ink that landed on my birth certificate with no human intervention whatsoever.
(But, yes: my father is the logical suspect.)
Posted by: Attila Girl at February 05, 2006 10:25 AM (XbEp3)
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November 30, 2005
Western Civilization Ends
. . . in
Britain.
Oh, well. Back to the old drawing board, then.
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1
Wait a second....George Michael is gay? He was so masculine in his Wham! days....
Posted by: the Pirate at November 30, 2005 02:41 PM (0ZKi5)
2
It gets worse. Elton John is gay. And Freddie Mercury? Gay.
Posted by: Attila Girl at November 30, 2005 02:45 PM (zZMVu)
3
Thank goodness we'll always have Rock Hudson!
Wait! What? He was?
Well, rats!
Posted by: benning at December 01, 2005 07:07 AM (sLNDa)
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November 17, 2005
Nice.
God hates shrimp.
Gays, He's easy-going about. (See "prostitutes, hanging out with.")
Shrimp, He hates.
Via Reynolds.
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1
However, I believe it's in Acts where God tells Peter in a vision about eating "Unclean" animals, "Do not call unclean that which I have made clean".
Paul (I think) also in Acts says about Gentiles converting to a follower of Christ that there were only 4 laws that they should follow (If the Jews were unable to follow the law to achieve salvation, why would Gentiles fair any better) Prohibitions on [1]Idolotry, [2]fornication, [3]eating animals killed by strangulation, or [4] contaminated by blood.
Shellfish didn't make the list of prohibitions for Gentiles Christians, but (to the point of the website) fornication did.
Posted by: Masked Menace© at November 18, 2005 08:32 AM (V0Xwj)
2
My definition of fornication is specific enough that it excludes gays. You might also want to go back to that website and read their letter from a seminary student, who has an answer to some of the concerns raised in St. Paul's epistles. It's very important to remember that in that society there was no such concept as a deep, committed, loving gay relationship. (I mean, I'm sure they happened secretly, but it wasn't part of the public consciousness.)
Posted by: Attila Girl at November 18, 2005 02:13 PM (JZqY7)
3
When I was a teen, I tried to define my way around fornication too.
"Surely not in *this* case, God?"
Posted by: Desert Cat at November 18, 2005 07:28 PM (xdX36)
Posted by: Attila Girl at November 18, 2005 10:42 PM (JZqY7)
5
God hates shrimp.
I hate shrimp!
Therefore, um, God and I will have the steak. Medmium rare, thanks.
Posted by: Pixy Misa at November 19, 2005 12:21 AM (QriEg)
6
Me too! I don't do fish, including shellfish. Steak, MR.
Posted by: Attila Girl at November 19, 2005 07:38 AM (JZqY7)
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November 15, 2005
Who's Afraid of a Gang of Chinese Olympic Games Mascots?
Jeff Harrell
is. Me, I think they're kind of
cute.
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November 13, 2005
Lileks on the War of the Discounters
His insight?
Target can be beat. His proposals: remarkably
specific.
Via Insty.
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November 11, 2005
More on Wal-Mart
Glenn
links to the
trailer for
Why Wal-Mart Works, and Why That Makes Some People Crazy.
I'm just as perplexed by the hostility. After all, the same people who complain about Wal-Mart very often make regular runs to Costco, where they buy a little more than they need to for the sake of getting the best per-unit price (storing the excess in their larger-than average homes).
People on restrictive budgets, of course, can't afford to do this. Apparently my anti-Wal-Mart friends would prefer that they live in (even greater) material deprivation, buying fewer products from overpriced local stores. Glenn:
I prefer Tarzhay myself for its more upscale ambience, but my discomfort with Wal-Mart is purely aesthetic, and I think it's odd that some people see it as evil incarnate. [ . . .] I think there's a class issue: Wal-Mart is unavoidable evidence that the American working classes don't think, or live, the way the American thinking classes want to imagine. For this sin, Wal-Mart can never be forgiven.
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1
Ha! Glenn has it nailed!
Posted by: Desert Cat at November 11, 2005 03:51 PM (xdX36)
2
I argued on another site with a left-of-center who wailed about Walmart's not paying a "living wage", getting goods from China, blah blah blah...and I'm always amazed that Conservatives support the business practices of Walmart - when they preach Christian morals, saving our nations children from gays, abortion and the heretics teaching evolution, but it's okay for Walmart's "Mary Kate and Ashley" clothing line for kids to actually be manufactured by kids in Indonesia.Uh, I don't count on BIG business to teach me morals..especially places like Walmart that instruct their employees to say "Happy Holidays" rather than "Merry Christmas." Big Business, Big Unions, Big Government look at bottom lines, regardless of individual morality.
Still, the essense of capitalism and the American marketplace is freedom of
choice. No one holds a gun to the consumer's head to shop at Walmarts. Why do the anti-Walmartinistas want to figuratively hold a gun to the consumer's head NOT to shop there?
Posted by: Darleen at November 11, 2005 05:40 PM (FgfaV)
3
It's all about Walmart being the biggest. Typical Leftist tactic.
Posted by: Darrell at November 11, 2005 10:03 PM (1A+wa)
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November 10, 2005
They've Arrived!
My Nancy Drew mysteries from eBay. Some liberry was getting
rid of them until the nice lady in the northwest rescued them; they're marked "DISCARD"!
They are all the revised versions (the 20-chapter format) that were supposedly purged of racism/guns and "refined" in the 50s/60s. I'm pretty sure those are the editions I read as a child: in my day, all Nancy Drew books had yellow spines (these have violet spines).
So, eat your heart out, Hubris. I'll soon be re-reading:
The Mystery at Lilac Inn (1961)
The Clue of the Dancing Puppet (1962)
The Clue of the Velvet Mask (1953/1969)
The Hidden Window Mystery (1956/1975)
and The Mystery of the Brass Bound Trunk (1976)
Then I'll save them for my little girl, so she can have a warped notion of female identity and a fascination for All Things Criminal, too.
("Mom! Your work is so derivative! You can't decide whether you want to be Michael Connelly or Dorothy L. Sayers. I mean, at least get the hard-boiled/tea cozy distinction down. And all that gratuitous sex is just gross!)
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1
So...jealous...typing...difficult. Damn you, Attila Girl. Daaaamn yoooou!
Posted by: Hubris at November 10, 2005 09:08 PM (M7kiy)
2
Jealous!!!
Okay, so you would probably know this: there was one Nancy Drew where they ended up in Amish country. And there was some mystery involving the hexes that the Amish paint on their barns -
I was absolutely captivated by that particular story - it was my favorite of all the Nancy Drews -
do you know that one?? I cannot remember the dern title!
Posted by: red at November 10, 2005 09:18 PM (DQC2L)
Posted by: Hubris at November 10, 2005 09:27 PM (M7kiy)
4
Are you sure it was a Nancy Drew?
Posted by: Attila Girl at November 10, 2005 09:35 PM (x3SIT)
Posted by: Hubris at November 10, 2005 09:42 PM (M7kiy)
6
Wow. I don't remember that one at all. Maybe our local liberry didn't have it--or maybe it was one of the few left when my brother and I suddenly got bored and moved on.
Or maybe I'm
over forty and my
memory's failing! Horrors!
Posted by: Attila Girl at November 10, 2005 10:05 PM (x3SIT)
7
Hubris is a lush. How did u feel about Pamela Sue Martin?
Posted by: beautifulatrocities at November 11, 2005 08:40 AM (TX6xQ)
8
I just couldn't think of her as the "real" Nancy. However, I did watch the Hardy Boys, for reasons that had nothing to do with literature.
Posted by: Attila Girl at November 11, 2005 08:54 AM (x3SIT)
Posted by: red at November 11, 2005 09:56 AM (YqCav)
10
You're welcome Sheila!
Jeff, you're a whore (or maybe not, I'm drunk and confused right now).
Posted by: Hubris at November 11, 2005 10:12 AM (oPB+M)
11
How would u know? You been talking to John Hawkins?? GRRRRRR!
Posted by: beautifulatrocities at November 11, 2005 08:54 PM (XuU4L)
12
Boys! Stop making me laugh; I'll wake my husband up.
Posted by: Attila Girl at November 11, 2005 10:26 PM (x3SIT)
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October 31, 2005
So Now I'm an Official PoMo.
Mom will be so proud: "that's wonderful, Dear. But I've been meaning to talk to you about your sugar intake." (This from a woman who, at my age, had a secret hidden stash of Snickers Bars in the house that her boyfriend didn't know about.)
You are a Theory Slut. The true elite of the
postmodernists, you collect avant-garde
Indonesian hiphop compilations and eat journal
articles for breakfast. You positively live
for theory. It really doesn't matter what
kind, as long as the words are big and the
paragraph breaks few and far between.
What kind of postmodernist are you!?
brought to you by Quizilla
Via Lauren at Feministe.
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1
Huh, I got Theory Slut too. Was it because I chose Depp over Angelina, just because she tries too hard?
Posted by: -keith in mtn. view at October 31, 2005 01:51 PM (Lq/X7)
2
I got Theory Slut this time, but last time I got Cyberculture Floozie. So not only am I a slut and a floozie, I'm also fickle!
Posted by: Pixy Misa at October 31, 2005 07:44 PM (RbYVY)
3
Pixy, you're definitely the Cyberculture Floozie. Definitely.
Posted by: Attila Girl at October 31, 2005 10:20 PM (x3SIT)
4
Hmmph! I got 'you're just not postmodern'.
Posted by: Peter at November 01, 2005 06:08 PM (6krEN)
5
I am just not Postmodern, and I'm perfectly happy with that result, thank you.
Posted by: Desert Cat at November 01, 2005 10:28 PM (xdX36)
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October 27, 2005
Congratulations
To John P., Mary, Timothy Sr., Jim, Mare and the
whole clan.
Just a little shout-out to my relatives in a certain region of the upper Midwest. I have the impression that you waited for this for . . . well, weeks.
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1
Yeah...weeks! 52x88
Thanks for giving the White Sox all this publicity! You are such a kind girl...
Posted by: Darrell at October 27, 2005 10:15 PM (sGjp4)
2
I'm doing it for my father-in-law, and his kin.
My F-I-L was one year old last time the Sox won the World Series. Now he's gone. But still--i imagine--following these events from another plane.
I presume that in heaven the TVs are state-of-the-art, and he got to see that fabulous catch right over the stands.
Was that in Heaven's sports bar? And is it okay to have one too many drinks there? What's the policy? And are the spouses more likely or less likely to get mad? I suspect my mother-in-law cares less about such details these days.
I guess my father-in-law gets to talk to my mother-in-law, wherever they are. Do they gossip about my not being Quite Suitable for their son, or are they too spritual for that? Has my mother-in-law figured out how much we have in common? I think that's rare.
Posted by: Attila Girl at October 28, 2005 02:40 AM (x3SIT)
3
You get HeavenVision with everything on demand. With total consciousness there's no need to alter anything. Ref. "In Heaven, There Ain't No Beer"
My, my! We do make everything about ourselves, don't we? I suspect your MIL reads your blog and smiles when you write about your Kung Fu skills, ticklefests, and diving underneath the dining room table...
In conclusion, Sox Win!!!! The 2005 World Series Champions..The Chicago White Sox!
I told my friends we would win the next one(in 1959)....took a little while, but proved right once again!
Posted by: Darrell at October 28, 2005 10:01 PM (EWcWN)
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October 10, 2005
Steyn
. . . penned an
analysis of European politics that made me want to drink red wine, smoke cigarettes and strongly consider suicide at an outdoor cafe.
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1
Those with any sense came here.
Now I know why Kerry was so concerned with what Europe thought. I bet they soak raisins in gin in their National Healthcare programs...
Posted by: Darrell at October 11, 2005 09:21 AM (qUh4f)
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September 29, 2005
Darleen Weighs In
. . . on the questions: "is our culture broken? And, if so, where does it hurt?"
And she's spot on.
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September 26, 2005
I Really Miss
. . .
Freddie.
I've thought about trying to see "Queen" when they play SoCal, but I know it wouldn't be the same; it might just make me very, very sad.
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September 25, 2005
More on Mitchell and Bowie
And, speaking of music, riddle me this:
If you could only collect the albums/CDs of two musical artists or groups, which two would they be?
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1
1) Outkast
2) Charlie Daniel's Band
Posted by: Chris Short at September 25, 2005 04:14 AM (0OCQY)
2
Sonia Dada
Stevie Ray Vaughan
Posted by: tommy at September 25, 2005 07:10 AM (TWHR8)
3
Paul McCartney
Chopin
Aren't I such a nerd?
Posted by: Rae at September 25, 2005 09:50 AM (4YdLE)
4
Hey. I use "Fantasie Impromptu" as my ringtone.
Posted by: Attila Girl at September 25, 2005 02:12 PM (Kti1Q)
5
George Strait(hey, I'm a Texan)
Sarah Evans
Posted by: jesusland joe at September 25, 2005 06:15 PM (rUyw4)
6
Webb Pierce and Pat Benatar
Posted by: Jim at September 25, 2005 11:24 PM (SuE7Z)
Posted by: Walter E. Wallis at September 26, 2005 07:23 AM (wDJE+)
8
1) Replacements/Paul Westerberg
2) Elvis Costello
Posted by: Zarba at September 26, 2005 07:48 AM (jpRBC)
9
frank zappa
miles davis
Posted by: yazoota at September 26, 2005 10:26 AM (xUyci)
10
Don't know if two could keep me happy forever, but if in addition to Webb and Pat I could have Andy Williams and Rose Maddox I'd be set for life.
Posted by: Jim at September 26, 2005 12:29 PM (SuE7Z)
11
1. Kate Bush
2. Tori Amos
3. Sarah McLachlan (if I can sneak in a 3rd artist)
Posted by: Robert Floyd Benningfield Jr. at September 26, 2005 02:21 PM (iHzvy)
Posted by: Kathy K at September 26, 2005 06:45 PM (xpvV5)
13
1. Mike Oldfield
2. Swing Out Sister
Posted by: Pixy Misa at September 26, 2005 08:28 PM (RbYVY)
14
oh yeah, btw... you still owe me a couple cds
Posted by: yazoota at September 27, 2005 09:45 AM (+cNe5)
Posted by: Bohemian at September 27, 2005 11:37 AM (M7kiy)
16
Chet Atkins
Nat King Cole
and if videos were allowed:
Sarah Evans
Shania Twain
Posted by: LBJ at September 27, 2005 02:58 PM (xUyci)
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"How Can You Only Listen
. . . to two singer/songwriters?" my friend Lorna earnestly asked her crush Elaine. "I like Bowie a lot, but doesn't a steady diet of him and Joni Mitchell get dull?"
This was in the late 70s. Elaine responded, "I'm afraid to listen to anyone else. If I decided I liked them, I might be tempted to buy their albums. And, above all, I'm cheap. I can't afford a new artist or group."
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We Saw the Eagles Play
at Staples Center tonight.
They played guitar and sang pretty songs.
We were in the balcony, with all the drunk people. But it was still fun.
Okay, bye.
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1
I think that's "playing together once again." It was actually a nicely executed show, though it had a bit too much solo-career stuff for my taste (I didn't go there to hear Joe Walsh or even Don Henley tunes; I was actually there for the Eagles).
Posted by: Attila Girl at September 26, 2005 10:31 PM (Kti1Q)
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August 18, 2005
Important Questions
Just to get serious for a moment:
1) Angelina Jolie, or Jennifer Aniston?
2) Ginger, or Mary Ann?
3) Did your answers to questions 1 and 2 line up on the "wholesomeness" scale, or on the "dark hair vs. fair hair" scale?
Discuss. All are invited to comment, though comments by straight men and gay women will be weighed more heavily in this very scientific survey.
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1
1. Aniston
2. Ginger
The was skewed for me, because I have an irrational hatred of Angelina Jolie, but I suppose I went with "fair haired."
Posted by: aldahlia at August 18, 2005 03:42 PM (uetBD)
2
Jolie
I'd be content to just stay here thank you very much but since you asked two questions
Mary Ann.
And I don't know the why to either answer but I am absolutely certain that I am right.
Posted by: tommy at August 18, 2005 05:24 PM (TWHR8)
3
Mary Ann.
Anniston.
Wholesome trumps. BUT you've gotta admit that Mary Ann's outfits were much hotter than Ginger's, so I am not sure where that leaves the wholesome quotient.
But I like Brunettes ....
Posted by: DeeDAGo at August 18, 2005 09:01 PM (/3kwi)
4
Are we talking marriage?
Or "other"?
Which ones would tell us the winners to their "Name My Business" contest? Although I realize that since I asked twice, I'm sure to be automatically disqualified! Better than losing, I say! You probably wouldn't have allowed substitutions on the prize anyway...
The question? Brunettes, definitely!
Posted by: Darrell at August 18, 2005 09:55 PM (uUr/Y)
5
Jolie, Mary Ann. Must be the brunette thing (like I didn't know that...heh! I've had a thing for brunettes since oh, about kindergarten or so.)
But to echo DeeDAGo, I have to take some exception to the "wholesome/hot" dichotomy, because Mary Ann was most certainly both. I always thought that maybe under all the glitz and glitter, Ginger was actually frigid. Overcompensation, y'know.
Posted by: Desert Cat at August 18, 2005 11:06 PM (xdX36)
6
Maryann wore pigtails. And her outfits didn't really show off her bust that well, IIRC. I'd say her legs were on display a bit more. Though of course it's been a long time.
Posted by: Attila Girl at August 19, 2005 12:03 AM (Ud5Hh)
7
Jolie, Mary Ann.
Has more to do with the underlying personalities, I guess. Aniston and Ginger were whiners - I see Angie and Mary Ann doing what it takes to get by. Call it the "resourcefulness" factor.
Besides, both Ginger and Jennifer fake the hair color.
SGT Dave
Posted by: SGT Dave at August 19, 2005 06:56 AM (AkKlL)
8
It's not about what is exposed so much as what is revealed. It's something more fundamental than square inches of exposed flesh that makes Mary Ann hot.
New Daisy Duke vs old Daisy Duke? Catherine Bach, hands down! Must be the brunette thing again...
Posted by: Desert Cat at August 19, 2005 12:38 PM (1NG8F)
9
Jessica Alba.
And Mary Ann.
And old Daisy Duke, definitely.
Posted by: Pixy Misa at August 19, 2005 01:08 PM (ymzzr)
10
Anniston
Mary Ann
Jolie just doesn't do anything for me despite my preference for brunettes.
Ginger looked like she was trying to be sexy, Mary Ann was sexy.
Oh, and the original Daisy Duke.
Posted by: Masked Menace© at August 22, 2005 05:14 PM (cgWes)
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