Over coffee with a friend this afternoon I remarked that there was a local support group forming for adults with ADD.

"I mean, I know we joke about our attention spans, but do you think that might be it? I mean, is it possible that I really do officially have Attention Deficit Disorder?"

Pause.

"You have something," he replied.

This particular time, I didn't tell him to fuck himself, but I'm sure it was understood. And I'm sure that if he got that message through the ether he realized I meant it in the kindest possible way.

Posted by: Attila at 06:43 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
Post contains 105 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Hi. I don't know how serious these last two posts are, but I'm being serious. My sister (age 32) took medication for depression for some years, but it didn't do the trick. Then some doctor or another diagnosed her with adult ADD, and prescribed amphetamines. (No, it's not a joke. Amphetamines (not methamphetamines) are recommended for adult ADD.) She took (is taking) the amphetamines, her depression is unnoticeable any more, and her ADD is also gone. And, she lost weight. Just a thought.

Posted by: jb at January 29, 2005 07:41 PM (Dr6qO)

2 Wellbutrin? Ritalin? I'm leery about amphetamines, since I have sleep issues, and am convinced that what I realllllllyy need—just like the Ramones—is to be sedated. But I'll check into it; thanks.

Posted by: Attila Girl at January 29, 2005 11:55 PM (RjyQ5)

3 Tried melatonin for sleep? One 3 mg time release melatonin, and I'm down for the count. L-Tryptophan is back on the market too, I recently learned. It makes a great sleep aid, though I find that melatonin seems to be quicker acting and quicker to wear off, come morning. (L-Tryptophan converts to melatonin and/or serotonin in the brain.) L-Tryptophan works well against depression for some people. I don't know what it would do to ADD.

Posted by: Desert Cat at January 30, 2005 12:47 AM (c8BHE)

4 Men are not the most perceptive. I find that I have to be told to fuck off. Amphetamines? I think I might have ADD myself.

Posted by: Pile On® at January 30, 2005 07:51 AM (Y/BZf)

5 I'd already flipped him off at least once within the same two-hour span, and I'm trying to work on my hostility issues. Feel yourself coming down with ADD, huh? Maybe you just have that 24-hour kind.

Posted by: Attila Girl at January 30, 2005 01:40 PM (RjyQ5)

6 Hmm, had to really think about what to say. Tell you what: I want to buy you your favorite ice cream. I'll do whatever to get LMA to smile

Posted by: William Teach at February 01, 2005 03:56 PM (HxpPK)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

I've been depressed for two years, but this last month has been one of the worst in a long time.

I'm thinking of taking up smoking.

But I'd have to either allow my drapes to get all smokey, or go outdoors where, let's face it, it's just freezing cold. And by that I mean, it's 60 degrees fahrenheit.

Of course, if I continue to be this depressed for much longer, I'll be able to fit into those hip-hugger jeans hanging in the back of my closet. I mean, I won't be willing to go anywhere in them, but they'll fit.

And won't that be nice? I can lounge around in my skinny jeans, avoiding responsibility and trying to remember how to smoke without coughing.

It occurs to me that I'd make a superb 13-year-old girl. Except, you know, for the lines around my eyes.

Well, I finally found someone to turn me upside down,
And nail my feet up where my head should be.
If they had a King of Fools then I could wear that crown,
And you can all die laughing because I'll wear it proudly.

Posted by: Attila at 06:00 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
Post contains 196 words, total size 1 kb.

1 My entire family shares certain hereditary health problems: rheumatoid arthritis, impingement syndrome (shoulder tendons), allergies, hypothyroid, extremely high arches in our feet. And depression. 1) Please do NOT, NOT, NOT take up smoking. Besides all the obvious reasons - you already have some repiratory issues from allergies; it's ridiculously expensive; it's stinky and dirty and greasy smoke clings to that nice house you like to keep clean; etc. etc. - the biochemical changes from numerous active ingredients in tobacco will actually INCREASE your depression. This is DUMB. Don't let your inner libertarian suffer the insult of handing someone else power and control over you. Do that right thing and keep on taking responsibility for your own actions. Addiction also depresses you situationally: it sucks to realize you're any kind of addict. It means you voluntarily gave up a certain control over yourself to people that work hard to make sure you're addicted. This makes them huge shitloads of money. These people fit my definition of "evil" to a T. 2) Chronic depression is just a chemical imbalance, a health problem like any other. GET IT TREATED. I hate to say this to a Californian, but take the damn pills. Prozac, whatever, sometimes you & the doc have to experiment to get it right. You have far more to fear from the illness than the cure. If nothing else please just give it a try. Yes a "natural" solution like talk therapy is better in some ways but it takes far longer. Don't waste another 2 years in and out of the cycles of depression. Take the pills now to get it under control, and you can do the talk therapy over time, and quit the pills when you're ready. 3) Adult symptoms of depression usually don't include "anger." For men especially, but also for women, I think this is an unrecognized and important symptom. If you feel you've had both depression and anger issues in these 2 years, treating your depression can do wonders for anger too. 4) This disease has a high mortality rate. GET IT TREATED. Out here in the blogosphere, we love you and need you and want you to stick around. Don't let us down by succumbing even a little bit to this illness. Not even the little bit of, say, deciding not to do a post here and there. Every time you do that, you're depriving your loyal readers of our required dosage of high quality, highly entertaining posts by Little Miss Attila. 5) Say you keep talking and wondering and don't decide to take action instead? I will personally come all the way out there, hunt you down, and smack you upside the head. Just because my legs don't work good doesn't mean I'm weak. I'm solid as a rock and can still pick up my husband. I have gravity on my side, while you are dwindling down to a little bitty wisp. I'm also at least an inch taller than you. So I don't care how many black belts you have, I can take your scrawny ass down in a heartbeat. Then I'll have no patience left as I haul you down the street by your little ear, looking for the first shingle on a door that says "Psych" something, and may throw you through that door and accidentally lock you in with some pervert. k

Posted by: k at January 29, 2005 11:56 PM (6krEN)

2 That was hilarious; I'll be the husbands would want to watch that little show. I'll talk to someone. Swear.

Posted by: Attila Girl at January 30, 2005 12:05 AM (RjyQ5)

3 Good girl! (carrot vs. stick) We don't want those husbands selling ringside tickets and laying off bets with Izzy the Bookie. We'd never hear the end of it. When you're 90 and power-knitting and I'm 94 and bricklaying we'd have to spend our golden years enduring a couple wrinkly old farts going, heh heh heh, ven vas dat day dose vives vere out dere...and Izzy vas...and...Yup! that was something. You still gettin' royalties off that one? better than Social Security any day huh? k

Posted by: k at January 30, 2005 03:13 AM (6krEN)

4 Attila the Hub used to joke about setting me against other men's wives and winning bets with me, but I do not think he had you in mind when he would make that joke.

Posted by: Attila Girl at January 30, 2005 03:37 AM (RjyQ5)

5 BTW, I can't imagine taking up smoking, given the hold it's had over my spouse, and how difficult it's been for him to stay completely off 'em (he's been mostly clean for two years, and tested clean when we got our life insurance exams--but it's been very tough).

Posted by: Attila Girl at January 30, 2005 03:40 AM (RjyQ5)

6 Phew! that's good. You've mentioned it before so I wasn't quite sure if you were joking. Remembering how it was for me to quit the second time still makes my blood run cold. Of course, the Attila hub has seen me unload semi-trucks, so he should know better. OTOH you didn't say which way he was betting on you - win or lose?? k

Posted by: k at January 30, 2005 04:49 AM (6krEN)

7 Against ordinary mortals, win (the "small but scrappy" thing). Against you, I'm sure I'd lose

Posted by: Attila Girl at January 30, 2005 01:43 PM (RjyQ5)

8 The Attila Hub is a sensible man. Never fear! I shall only use my powers for good. If I am forced to beat you to a pulp, it's only for your own good.

Posted by: k at January 30, 2005 07:25 PM (6krEN)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

Which means either a few more freelance clients or an actual staff positon. Send me a note at miss.attila AT gmail DOT com if you have any leads.

What I've been doing lately: fact-checking, copyediting, proofreading. (And some writing on the side.)

What I can do: coordination, juggling, research, writing. I'm pretty good at dealing with people. I have the full range of office skills (minus Powerpoint, which I could pick up quite quickly with a little help) and can use Mac and Windows machines.

What I've done: everything from an assistant/coordinator to a managing editor. I used to make the "maps" that determined where advertising and stories were placed within magazines. Called "page dummies" or "maquettes," these were like huge puzzles, because each advertiser had its rules for where its ad needed to be placed, but the magazine would also have its own rules—and frequently these conflicted. The overall effect had to be just right, as well.

What I'd like to do: either research/coordination, or another job in publishing—in print or online. (My print background is very heavy: I've done most jobs involved in putting out magazines, with the exceptions of sales and art direction. My online experience is limited to blogging, but I obviously know html and the general principles involved. I'd say that my computer skills are okay for a plain old human being, but low for a blogger. For instance, I've never actually written a computer program.)

Location: Anywhere in and around Pasadena and L.A. for a staff job, and I do proofreading/editing of books from my home (through the miracle of FedEx). So I can definitely telecommute if necessary.

Posted by: Attila at 10:54 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 284 words, total size 2 kb.

"I can't go on, I'll go on."

Posted by: Attila at 01:27 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 11 words, total size 1 kb.

I'm halfway out of the funk. I've even managed to do a constructive thing or two. So we'll be back to normal around here in no time—and then won't you be sorry? (Long posts that go nowhere, naval-gazing essays, silly observations . . . it'll be awful.)

Posted by: Attila at 10:12 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 49 words, total size 1 kb.

1 I'm looking forward to more cussing. You haven't been cussing much lately. Need to let a Cheney bomb out

Posted by: William Teach at January 07, 2005 04:02 PM (HxpPK)

2 Goodness gracious; I'll have to think about that.

Posted by: Attila Girl at January 07, 2005 04:26 PM (8TapF)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

not eating will save me scads of money. After all, that's our second-largest monthly outlay. I'm be thin and rich. Yay!

Posted by: Attila at 02:20 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 23 words, total size 1 kb.

1 But now is a good time to eat some nice chocolate.

Posted by: k at January 06, 2005 08:38 PM (+7VNs)

2 Well, I drank some hot chocolate. Does that count?

Posted by: Attila Girl at January 07, 2005 09:24 AM (8TapF)

3 Oh yes! So chocolate. Plus, hot chocolate ranks right up there in life's fine things. We had some just a couple nights ago. Chocolate is health food. Good for mood swings and depression and female stuff. And one of the world's great comfort foods. You can still be thin and rich, too, because chocolate is all you really need. Especially when buried under horrible winter storm blasts, with all that ice and snow and stuff? It's about 78 here right now. Pure sunshine. Zero % rain chance for days. Tonight it'll go down to around 67. Sometimes I can use that as an excuse for more hot chocolate. But it really does get a bit nippy sometimes, like last week or two it was all the way down in the 50's at night for like a week!!!!

Posted by: k at January 07, 2005 01:43 PM (+7VNs)

4 I know, it's been freezing cold here this last week. And by that, of course, I mean 50-60. And, of course, it has been raining. Mr. Water is leaving you guys in Florida alone, for a change, and bugging us.

Posted by: Attila Girl at January 07, 2005 04:31 PM (8TapF)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

I forwarded a post by another blogger—one I consider particularly clever—to a friend, who sent a missive back to the effect that it was quite an interesting little entry, but "why don't you all go out and get jobs?"

My plan: wait until he isn't looking, and spit in his drink sometime when he least expects it.

Posted by: Attila at 11:37 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 63 words, total size 1 kb.

Just one more thing about my depression: right now, I'm about five pounds north of being able to fit into my hip-huggers.* If this thing continues for a few more days, I'll be able to wear 'em without any problem at all.

*Or, "jeans with a slight low-rise quality," to you young whippersnappers who are still experiencing all fashion trends the first time around. (I'm up to the second wave on everything.)

Posted by: Attila at 11:19 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 76 words, total size 1 kb.

. . . about being depressed/unhappy at this time of month is I'm absolutely sure it isn't hormones. After all, this is supposed to be the happy/horny era, and all I want to do is hide under the bed and weep.

This timing business is more important than you might imagine. After all, if I might be PMS-ing (and it's never that clear these days, as perimenopause sets in), I'm never certain whether I can trust my perceptions or not.

It's lovely to know that I can at least think clearly without physiological interference. Provided, of course, that I remember to eat a little, and that I manage to sleep.

It's the mind-body problem. Or, if you like, something akin to the observations of Raymond Chandler and Joan Didion about what happens to residents of Los Angeles during a Santa Ana wind. Except that it's all inside one human being, and the weather guy doesn't ever let you know.

Neither, these days, does the calendar.

Posted by: Attila at 09:13 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 171 words, total size 1 kb.

Attila Girl: How's the game going?

Attila Hub: Pretty good, actually.

Attila Girl: Why do those guys wear so much?

Attila Hub: Um . . . what?

Attila Girl: I mean, they've got these should pads and helmets and knee pads and everything. It really distorts the male form, you know.

Attila Hub: Well, you know, if they didn't wear the protective gear, they might get hurt. Matter of fact, they sometimes get hurt anyway.

Attila Girl: But, you know, if they wore outfits that showed a little more skin, people would watch these, um, these ball games. I mean, this could really be a popular sport.

[Commercial ends. Attila the Hub looks intently at the television, as if to suggest that this would be a good time for the conversation to end. Attila Girl goes sadly upstairs, feeling that her brilliant idea hasn't really been understood for the breakthrough it is.]

Posted by: Attila at 01:55 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
Post contains 113 words, total size 1 kb.

1 But then men would tune out, and switch over to the Lingerie Bowl.

Posted by: William Teach at January 01, 2005 07:05 AM (HxpPK)

2 They wear pads cause they are sissys :p. Watch rugby instead.

Posted by: the Pirate at January 01, 2005 10:52 AM (V9zOS)

3 That's why I prefer soccer

Posted by: jeff at January 01, 2005 01:22 PM (L67Ib)

4 Soccer and basketball are great games: easy to understand what's going on (no complicated plays) and the guys are in shorts. What's not to like?

Posted by: Attila Girl at January 01, 2005 01:35 PM (SuJa4)

5 Guys wearing shorts. Now, if the NHL was women in bikini's, the ratings would be thru the roof.

Posted by: William Teach at January 01, 2005 03:58 PM (HxpPK)

6 Wow that would be cold.........

Posted by: the Pirate at January 01, 2005 05:16 PM (u4v+M)

7 Yes, but the one thing that turns me away from basketball are all those sweaty armpit shots. I mean dear lord in heaven, can't they choose a better camera angle?!

Posted by: Desert Cat at January 02, 2005 09:39 AM (c8BHE)

8

Posted by: Attila Girl at January 02, 2005 06:50 PM (SuJa4)

Hide Comments | Add Comment