"What?" Attila the Hub is concerned.

"They made my martini with vodka, rather than gin. Do you know why?"

He appears to sigh, just a little. "Why?"

"Because of the patriarchy, silly. It's the same reason I have dry skin."

He raises an eyebrow. "Dry skin is caused by patriarchy?"

I take a sip of my thoroughly inadequate drink. "Absolutely. The Man is keeping me from getting my share of emollients. And gin. Just like in the Third World: not enough hand lotion, and too much vodka. And women bearing the brunt of it."

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I confide in her rather earnestly that I'm considering growing up this year.

She giggles. "Don't be hasty," she tells me.

"Oh, I'm not going to just jump in blindly," I assure her. "I'm still doing a cost-benefit analysis."

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