. . . are starting to look a little bit middle-aged. Should I say anything, do you think? Or would that be rude?

Posted by: Attila at 11:31 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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. . . even though my readership is dropping like a . . . like a gravity-bound thing that's plummeting to the earth.

I went over to Little Mr. Mahatma's this afternoon. Scanmaster joined us, and we had dinner with Mrs. Mahatma and the Mahatma kids ("the monsters," Mr. M calls them). Then the others swam while I lay by the side of the pool and soaked up the heat the concrete had absorbed during the day, as the monsters splashed me and their mother chided them for so doing. We were in the San Fernando Valley, so it didn't get chilly as it would have on the Westside after dark. Not even after my clothes were all wet from the stray water that had landed in my "dry zone."

"I have a sore throat," I kept announcing, to explain why I had to leave soon. But I didn't leave until 9:30 p.m.

I came home slightly on the defensive, ready to point out to my spouse that I was in my client's office into the afternoon today, working sick, and that it wasn't as if my friends and I were loafing around this evening—heaven forfend. No; we had figured out how a particular game of telephone—a piece of gossip rather juicy in its day—had travelled from person to person one summer when we were 16 and 17. We were solving problems, like the brilliant people we are.

I returned full of this accomplishment, and my husband was so sweet that I immediately felt guilty and defensive. So tomorrow—along with catching up on my finances, some phone calls and the housework—I need to finish the plot synopsis for my fiction project, along with the book proposal that will accompany it out into the cold, cruel world. (I'll dress it first in a little sunsuit from Gap Kids, and put Water Babies sunblock on the pages. I try to be a good mom.)

If only Attila the Hub had criticized me for taking several hours off while he was slaving away in his office, pedal to the metal. But no: he had to be sweet and loving. So instead of being able to have a quick row in which I would cleverly deflect the subject to the issue of his deficiencies (real/imagined), I'm now left with one viable option: I need to catch up on all my outstanding projects tomorrow, sometime between my acupuncture treatment (9:00 a.m.) and T'ai Chi class (6:30 p.m.). All because I've been outflanked, denied the moral high ground by the master military strategist I live with.

I'm behind in the arms race of household accomplishment. But that's easy to fix: factory production will soon spike, and . . . I'll bury him. In kisses, support for his endeavors, completion on my own appointed tasks, fun snuggling, and cheap-yet-tasty dinners on Sunday nights.

Attila Girl is re-arming.

(You people have figured out the reality, right?—when I feel like this, it's never because my husband is mad at me for my indolence. He's usually just tired and preoccupied with his own work. I just like to externalize my guilt, projecting it onto him. The next day I remember that if I feel like he's mad at me, it's generally because I'm mad at myself. He has nothing to do with it at all.)

I'm such a head case.

Posted by: Attila at 12:39 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I have a bet with my dad that I can go to the East Coast for my half-sister's wedding for under $600. An experienced traveller, Dad insists it's going to set me back at least $700, no matter how I pinch pennies.

So the gauntlet has been thrown. My airfare will be $320, and I'm flying into Hartford the day before the wedding.

I have a backup car rental, but I'm hoping to get that amount down considerably, and I need cheap housing in the vicinity of Woodbridg—a Motel 6 or something like that.

My main savings will be food: I may go ahead and check my suitcase, because it will be chock-full of peanut butter and jelly, crackers, instant couscous, and Nutri-Grain bars. I'll get a little produce at a local market, but I'm getting my protein as cheaply as I can.

Ideas?

For the purposes of this exercise, the wedding gift is a separate item (besides which, we have a year in which to get it).

Posted by: Attila at 12:03 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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. . . as I tick down the list of things I'm interested in: cars, trains, guns, military strategy. Motorcycles.

I'm clearly not a middle-aged woman, but rather a 16-year-old boy trapped in a middle-aged female body.

I'm not just a candidate for gender-reassignment surgery, but age-reassignment as well. Especially age-reassignment.

I believe I should demand that Medi-Cal provide me with a face lift and change my driver's license to reflect my true age of 16. Naturally, I'm not willing to pay teenage rates for car insurance, and why should I?—I'm 43 years old. It's not like I'd do anything reckless at this point.

Posted by: Attila at 12:18 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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1 This just means that the definition of what women are supposed to be interested in is bogus. Check what Denise has to say on this subject over at Ten Ring. And let us know when you get custom chopper.

Posted by: Zendo Deb at July 13, 2005 07:18 PM (qg7aq)

2 And what does Attila the Hub think of the possibility that he is actually married to a teenage boy?

Posted by: Desert Cat at July 14, 2005 07:58 PM (xdX36)

3 I think the problem is that tomboys have become a dying breed.

Posted by: Mickey at July 15, 2005 09:05 PM (ALxDi)

4 Attila the Hub has acquired the habit of blanking some of my strangest posts out of his mind. I think it all recedes into a fog of "that's my quirky little lady. Always thinking, that one." Also, he sees me all the time, and I rather believe the experience is reassuring to him. He'd argue that I'm exactly the right gender. Just weird as hell.

Posted by: Attila Girl at July 16, 2005 12:00 AM (RGWNz)

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I'm going to take it easy today, since it's my birfday. (Not barfday—birfday.)

I'll be listening to the compilation CD a good friend sent me, and heading out to a real estate investment workshop in Santa Monica. Then I'll grill some chicken for my husband. (No, we're not going out this year. We're nesting.)

Please send prayer/positive energy to London and the Miami area.

P.S. What year? Same year as the Seattle Space Needle; we're only a few months apart. I'm what they call, in the design trade, a mid-century piece.

Posted by: Attila at 10:43 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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1 happy birfday to you! Hey, shouldn't your dh be doing the grilling? (of the chicken i mean) Enjoy!

Posted by: Rachel Ann at July 09, 2005 12:00 PM (2OI8U)

2 I'm far too macha to let him do that. It works out well, since I'm the pyro in the family.

Posted by: Attila Girl at July 09, 2005 05:11 PM (RGWNz)

3 Happy birthday!

Posted by: Jeff G at July 09, 2005 06:48 PM (prEeN)

4 Heh. Rachel Ann beat me to the question. Happy Birfday!

Posted by: Desert Cat at July 09, 2005 08:19 PM (xdX36)

5 Well, for some people the grill is a special-occasion cooking tool. For me, it's a way of life; I can't imagine giving up such a fun toy. And I still use CHARCOAL! Yee-haw!

Posted by: Attila Girl at July 09, 2005 10:08 PM (RGWNz)

6 Charcoal is the ONLY way to go! Propane is silly. Not nearly so fun. Depending, of course. Apparently some folks huff it for a high. A few days ago, a nice couple in Boca Raton came home from vacation to find a dead body in the back yard. The guy was wedged under the BBQ. His head was really jammed in there. Apparently he'd sneaked out back in their absense and overindulged.

Posted by: k at July 10, 2005 02:04 AM (M7kiy)

7 Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Your birthday mangoes are on the way. Seven of 'em. It's all I could fit in the Priority Mail Flat Rate Box. You have to use that box, no other. BUT!... You can send up to 70# for $7.70. The best deal around in small shipping, bar none. I just learned about it. I always used something trackable before - thus the FedEx's. Very reasonable at 3rd Day, but still much higher than the $7.70. So I got to the PO yesterday to send them, and found out they'll do tracking - "Delivery Confirmation" - for an additional princely sum of $.45! So I got that, too. I could afford it. These will be the ugliest mangoes yet. I had less to choose from this year. FPL cut a lot of branches off the mango tree, whcih sits by a power pole. It's revenge. We're all hollering for them to bury the damn power lines and they don't want to spend the money. So they're decimating all our trees to get back at us. Thus, the ugliest mangoes went in the box. But boy are they good. And these are very special mangoes. They're Hurricane Dennis mangoes. No, we didn't get the eye. But we had gusts that almost swept me off my feet. Right in front of the PO, too. And on the beach, where I got sandblasted, beachcombing. It was great! Happy birthday! Enjoy!

Posted by: k at July 10, 2005 02:18 AM (M7kiy)

8 I'll use them well!

Posted by: Attila Girl at July 10, 2005 02:42 AM (RGWNz)

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. . . Attila the Hub had to use my laptop a couple of times. He was utterly fascinated by how filthy the keyboard and screen are.

"What are these . . . these little dots?" he asked, more intrigued than disapproving.

"Well, um. To me they look like itty bitty spots of milk, smaller than pinheads. A person might, um, might get that effect if they, you know. If they had a habit of eating breakfast cereal while surfing the web."

Sometimes I'm truly amazed that this man can put up with me.

Posted by: Attila at 11:34 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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1 Oh. I thought you were going to say they were from reading Jeff G. or The Therapist or someone while eating cereal.

Posted by: Desert Cat at July 02, 2005 10:02 AM (xdX36)

2 I live with a comic; it takes a lot for me to laugh out loud

Posted by: Attila Girl at July 02, 2005 03:54 PM (RGWNz)

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. . . was today, and I really enjoyed it. The practitioner was a kind, funny man who stuck little needles in me and left me in the dark for 15 minutes, which is more than I meditate in a week under normal circumstances. After five minutes I felt a sort of warmth, as if the chi were moving through my body. Or endorphins, perhaps.

And I got a backrub out of it, too.

The practitioner tells me I'm taking too many drugs, and suggests that with the right herbs, I could get off of them. At the moment I'm working on getting off of sleeping pills: I hear there are some very advanced therapies for insomniacs these days. Then, perhaps, the birth control pills, if this guy can really make my cramps go away with Eastern medicine.

The Prozac? I find myself considering the possibility that with a combination of herbs, massage, T'ai Chi and acupuncture I might someday be less of bitch without the benefit of pills. Then I decide to acknowledge my real feelings: cold, dead hands, Baby.

I've decided to begin stockpiling, against the day that the Supreme Court rules on whether Eminent Domain can be used to take my SSRIs for some greater good.

Posted by: Attila at 11:29 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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1 Acupuncture! Now that's a great move for you. IMO. Congratulations. I've had it 3 times now. Being perimenopausal, my periods come and go. (Naturally, this started just after I bought a big giant deep-discount box of tampons.) The only time I actually get my period again is after an acupuncture visit. The cramps are noticeably less, too. Another thing acupuncture cleared up was that chronic mild lung ache. It finally returned again - but only after breathing a bunch of particulates during rehab work. (Sound familiar?!) I know it wasn't a placebo effect, because I deliberately avoided learning about it before I went, and outside of general info., didn't tell the acupuncturist what to focus on. She didn't know about the period thing or the lung thing, either one, although she did know about the asthma. I actually had to call and ask her if those improvements were because of the acupuncture. Yup. And kdad, an MD, bioscientist, and real skeptic, says the acupuncture is proven to work, and it works by that endorphin effect. Herbs are drugs, just less refined. Morphine comes from opium poppies - yada yada. To trade one drug for another isn't necessarily a bad idea, of course. But herbs are much less tested than commercial meds, and because they are less refined, the active dose varies wildly. And just because they're "natural" doesn't mean they're harmless. Every year, several babies in America die because their parent(s) gave them eucalyptus oil for a cold. It's toxic to babies. So is honey. Eat too much honey, adults die too. Cyanide is natural; bitter almonds and apple seeds contain cyanide. Dog poop is natural too. Doesn't mean it's good to eat it. BTW - Good Morning America was on my TV just now, and had a piece on the therapy produced by blogging. OK. Enough health lecture for today. Except - welcome to the Wonderful World of the War on LEGAL drugs!

Posted by: k at July 02, 2005 06:06 AM (6krEN)

2 L-Tryptophan! Versus sleeping pills, melatonin or it's precursor l-tryptophan is far preferable. Melatonin is what your body makes all on it's own to sleep when your systems are all balanced. And l-tryptophan is converted by your body into serotonin (which is what the Prozac is trying to increase) or melatonin, depending upon what your body needs at the moment. L-Tryptophan is found in abundance in turkey, kefir, and a few other foods, but it is available again in capsule form at some health food stores. I take it as needed, both for my mild depression and occasional insomnia. It's not an "herb" but it *is* a food extract.

Posted by: Desert Cat at July 02, 2005 10:09 AM (xdX36)

3 Oh! DC, I would LOVE to hear your take on one of K's Favorite Queries: Define...Drug. Is it any substance that changes body chemistry? But that would include all food, drink, breath, or any other absorbed material. And what about the melatonin, hormones, etc. our own bodies produce? We can create our own testosterone, or inject it. Are they both drugs, then? Or neither, or only one? Are they only "drugs" if isolated, altered. or dried and rehydrated by humans? L-Tryptophan is way high on my List of Stuff to Explore. What a classic example of the What's a Drug conumdrum. And indeed not an herb - but it is ingested, and it plays such a role in that body chemistry chain. So - is it or isn't it a drug? I have absolutely nothing against herbs, of course. I just hope people get educated about what they are and do before ingesting them, that's all. (Or before feeding little babies eucalyptus oil.) See, you check things out first, and thoroughly. But many people actually find that offensive; it violates their code of Faith under their belief system to look at the mainstream medical information. All they want to read or hear are the anecdotes, and even then, some will only hear the positive ones, and turn away from any negative or simply cautionary ones. I hope you can answer back. Me, it's way past my bedtime again, and I already put my anti-MRSA bandaids on my fingertips, so I'm smearing Silvadene all over the keyboard. I'll have to check for replies when I wake up. Rubbing alcohol safely cleans laptop screen & keyboards both. According to HP, that is. g'nite, all!

Posted by: k at July 02, 2005 11:26 AM (6krEN)

4 I've got a better question for both of you. You're part of the clinical trial for a drug, and it helps with your condition, but it turns out that you got the sugar pill, so in reality what you experienced was the "placebo effect." Did you take a drug? I have to say that I see the appeal of herbal medicines, and even have a halfway-open mind about them, but people have been pushing a lot of things my way for a lot of years, telling me it would help with my insomnia. "It helped me," they'd say. "But you're not a night owl, are you?" I always wanted to reply. And don't even get me started on the local natural family planning coach who became concerned about my infertility. She kept calling me with suggestions about herbs and supplements I could take. It finally became too painful, and I had to tell her than unless she had real scientific studies to back up her suggestions, I didn't want to hear them any more. (And, of course, it turned out there was a mechanical reason for my infertility, and all the herbs in the world wouldn't have done a thing.) That said, I think L-Tryptophan might help, but only in tandem with mental discipline and good "sleep hygeine" (the term for making sure one's habits and environment are helpful for sleep).

Posted by: Attila Girl at July 02, 2005 04:06 PM (RGWNz)

5 I don't think "drug" is so easy to define, because with any cut-and-dried definition, there is a glaring exception (or three, or twelve), as you've noted. I see a continuum from the usual food substances through phytonutrients, "nutraceuticals", etc. to completely synthetic chemicals. Personally for therapeutic purposes I favor the use of substances that either closely mimic, or gently enhance the body's own natural processes. At least as a starting point. Because *generally* speaking, the risk of side effects is usually lower. But I am not at all averse to using a purely synthetic molecule, if the risk/reward ratio is right. Re the placebo effect. I'm convinced it is very real, and I am always on the lookout for it when I am evaluating some new therapy. I listen closely to my body to discern wishful thinking from actual effects. For example, there are a few herbs available that purport to help with the common cold. I have found none that give more than marginal symptom relief. Then I found colloidal silver and the effect is dramatic and undeniable. So I've been "preaching" it to all who'll listen ever since. So how about colloidal silver? It's an effective therapy (in my experience), but is it a drug? You won't find a whole lot in the way of rigorous scientific studies conducted in this country. The pharmaceutical giants seem to have a pretty solid lock on the minds and hearts of MD's and research money. But there has been a tremendous amount of solid research conducted in Germany to determine the effectiveness (or lack thereof) of a wide range of "natural" remedies. And of course Chinese medicine takes a very different approach to wellness than does western medicine. I feel tremendously blessed to have an integrative medicine MD as my PCP. In addition to the usual MD repertoire, he is an acupuncturist and is certified to perform spinal manipulations. That means backaches cured for the cost of a copay!

Posted by: Desert Cat at July 02, 2005 09:48 PM (xdX36)

6 Such a yummy, yummy question. Thank you Miss Attila! My response is written in my mind - and I do believe it's not only appropriate, but necessary, to remember other issues even in the face of the horrible events of this day. At least, it is for me. However: while not much could keep me from putting it down, this post must make way for hurricane preps just now. so...rain check?

Posted by: k at July 07, 2005 03:12 PM (M7kiy)

7 Deal.

Posted by: Attila Girl at July 07, 2005 11:18 PM (RGWNz)

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