. . . yesterday, more or less in front of my cousin and his wife. The good news?

1) I talked myself into staying over at her place one more night, so I could continue to enjoy my cousins' company. I'm not so sure I stopped being mad, but I stopped acting mad. I even managed not to say, "no act of mine this weekend should be construed as meaning I don't hate you." This required me to remind myself, over and over again, that I'm 43 years old.

2) Neither one of us got mean in the heat of argument, though we're both more than capable of it.

3) I continued to help her move into the area near the L.A. Airport.

4) I acknowledge that I have all kinds of base emotions WRT others, and they will continue to trip me up. I can even—sometimes—consent to be kidded about my failings. For me, this is astonishing progress.

Live and learn. Excelsior.

Posted by: Attila at 11:04 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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According to my insomnia book, aspirin may be a sleeping aid. Although it doesn't help with the onset of sleep, it assists with "maintenance." I'll give it a shot tomorrow night, and perhaps I won't wake up after three hours.

I need to leave in a few hours for the West Side, where I'm going to be attending a few service meetings for my church group. Fortunately, they have coffee there, and fruit/bagels.

I liked being a calm, seemingly happy person with minimal dark rings under my eyes. Now I get to be ugly and bitchy again. Oh, bother. Still, as problems go, these aren't what I'd call Big.

Posted by: Attila at 05:24 AM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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"I was not being sarcastic; I was merely being a bit ironic. You were being sarcastic, and that isn't nice."

This is the next level, after the "I didn't imply; you inferred" argument.

Posted by: Attila at 05:05 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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1 Further proof that writers never leave the sandbox! Their vocabulary does grow, though...

Posted by: Darrell at October 15, 2005 03:08 PM (YJmNO)

2 James Thurber penned a great, very funny article about that, "The Porcupines in the Artichokes."

Posted by: Attila Girl at October 15, 2005 06:52 PM (LNv50)

3 As long as you don't read "The Darlings at the Top of the Stairs" before you adopt!

Posted by: Darrell at October 15, 2005 08:51 PM (rAwQd)

4 It's okay: the kids are only armed with blackjacks, golf clubs, and .32-caliber "automatics." My husband and I have awesome martial arts skills—and much bigger guns.

Posted by: Attila Girl at October 16, 2005 03:59 AM (LNv50)

5 Not to mention you don't sleep! Hidden blessings everywhere!

Posted by: Darrell at October 16, 2005 08:20 AM (DGAEA)

6 I used to sneak out at night when I was a teenager. It was easy to do. My child won't have that luxury

Posted by: Attila Girl at October 16, 2005 03:46 PM (LNv50)

7 Please excuse me for going off-topic...Sox Win! Too long a wait not to share! Feel free to celebrate with me, even if you are an Angels fan. You are a good mom! Get used to hearing those words....Excuse me if I take some happiness from them, too! I'll start my prayers now!

Posted by: Darrell at October 16, 2005 09:10 PM (zseM/)

8 Thank you. I'm not terribly good about following sports, but i know my husband is really thrilled. First time in nearly half a century, no?

Posted by: Attila Girl at October 17, 2005 01:44 PM (LNv50)

9 Yep, their last appearance was 1959 against the Dodgers. You have to go back to 1917 for their last Series win. We'll forget about 1919...

Posted by: Darrell at October 17, 2005 09:22 PM (vPWaJ)

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I told him the Prozac my OB-GYN had put me on for PMS was making me sleepy in the afternoons, and asked if he could sling me a little Wellbutrin to take in the morning so I can be perky/motivated. In return, I promised to go off sleeping pills soon. Real soon.

His counter-proposal: if I go off the sleeping pills first, then he'll give me the Wellbutrin. He's obviously a granola-crunching hippie Mother Nature's son kind of guy. Though he did give me some Fiorinal with codeine to have on hand against future migraine attacks.

So, you know: the quality of mercy is not strained.

Posted by: Attila at 04:07 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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1 If you take Prozac for PMS, why does it sound like you're doing them 30 days/mo.? Afternoon naps sound like a better way to go anyway... I worry about you!

Posted by: Darrell at October 12, 2005 09:29 PM (uXxzD)

2 I have the impression that you can't just take SSRIs part of the month--it has to be a steady thing.

Posted by: Attila Girl at October 12, 2005 11:23 PM (EmfL0)

3 Also, the naps appear to be a side-effect of the Prozac, since without drugs I can't sleep at all. I feel like my afternoon sleepiness is at least teaching me what to do mentally to induce sleep (what are the best visualizations, relaxation exercises, etc.) So maybe I can use those same techniques at night.

Posted by: Attila Girl at October 13, 2005 04:25 AM (EmfL0)

4 I see med schools use these mnemonics for remembering the side effects of SSRI's S- Sickness(nausea)/Sore heads(headache) S - Staggering (unsteadiness/Postural hypotension) R - Restlessness/Rashes I- Insomnia S- Slimming (fluoxetine reduces appetite)/Serotonin syndrome That about sums it up, don't you think? I see where the results are similar for intermittent(luteal phase) vs. continuous dosing for PMS. But, of course, you would have to consult with your doctor before making that change... Withdrawal symptoms could be a problem depending on your length of use. Still worrying!

Posted by: Darrell at October 13, 2005 09:21 AM (UrXGy)

5 My insomnia goes back to infancy--it's actually a broken body clock (delayed sleep phase syndrome: I'm designed to sleep 6 am to 2 pm). And I'm actually pretty pudgy, due to a small case of middle-age. The headaches would have shown up months ago if they were a side effect of the Prozac. In my case they probably reflect the movement of the Santa Ana winds around SoCal lately, which dehydrates me and increases my allergic reactions. And my normal treatment for headaches is lots of water, since I always think of dehydration first. It takes a lot for me to even pop an aspirin.

Posted by: Attila Girl at October 13, 2005 10:59 AM (EmfL0)

6 How, pray tell, did anyone diagnose you with delayed sleep phase syndrome? Were you sent to a sleep lab at a university hospital? Even if this is so, you should be able to shift your body clock to match your environment. Melatonin or HTTP. Or you can find a time zone that accomodates you. Just think how big you can be in Hawaii, Alaska, or New Zealand? If you weren't so bright, witty, and charming, you'd be a handful!

Posted by: Darrell at October 13, 2005 12:13 PM (e09BU)

7 This might help

Posted by: beautifulatrocities at October 13, 2005 02:38 PM (KhHTV)

8 Thanks, Darrell; I suspect my husband thinks I'm a handful as it is. I've never been to a lab, but a sleep doctor finally told me what this phenomenon was called a few years ago. My father has it as well. Right now I'm dosing myself with sunlight, cutting back on caffeine, and making sure I don't sleep too late. It just freaks people out when one's schedule flips day-to-night, so I'm trying not to do so. Jeff--Figured it would be something like that! Excellent.

Posted by: Attila Girl at October 13, 2005 08:27 PM (EmfL0)

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. . . are having a cold war on the issue of whether it was more important to bring a pumpkin pie to a potluck, or to arrive somewhat on-time. No, reallly.

In school they spent years trying to teach me algebra; better they'd taught me how to get along with my fellow human beings.

And who invented this "marriage" stuff? It's entirely beyond me.

Posted by: Attila at 12:03 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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. . . of three different writer's groups headed up by my writing teacher. We were all supposed to read aloud some small snippet of our work. I went through all my files, and suddenly realized that every single thing I'd ever written—including all my blog entries, high school essays, and every word of my novel—was crap.

I read something anyway.

Posted by: Attila at 11:42 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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I now have perhaps the fifth migraine headache of my life, and the first one that's really lasted and hurt, rather than being purely visual or disappearing almost immediatly.

My grandmother had these. My mother used to get 'em, but controls the condition with medication.

So I guess the party's over, in case I hadn't figured it out from looking at my skin and hair—or feeling the twinges in my knees and ankles when I stretch at the wrong angle. I like to think I make up for it all in cunning.

Posted by: Attila at 07:46 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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1 The eyes go next. If you are nearsighted, you'll find yourself taking off your glasses for close work, then needing them a second later, then requiring them off. There's a period where even bifocals don't help. Next comes dry eyes. Painfully dry eyes. You'll have to settle for being at your sexual peak. Your hubby will have to perfect his neck massage technique to stop that headache inducing stress/tension. He may even run out and get you a bottle of Feverfew...I found it works most times.

Posted by: Darrell at October 09, 2005 09:05 AM (Gc/9N)

2 I'm ahead of you: I just got my first pair of reading glasses. I spend a lot of time switching around between the two pairs I'm glad I started T'ai Chi a while ago; I suspect that will help a lot.

Posted by: Attila Girl at October 09, 2005 02:08 PM (EmfL0)

3 Those were just memories of my 40's...I've moved along, sigh. For me, things actually got better late in my 40's: I reached a time where my eyesight started improving as I aged. You never do reach that point where you can dispense with glasses altogether, but it gets better. Hang in there!

Posted by: Darrell at October 09, 2005 08:50 PM (sv6yy)

4 Oh, I shall. Consider the alternative

Posted by: Attila Girl at October 10, 2005 02:22 AM (EmfL0)

5 then there is the by the time you get your watch far enough away to see it clearly, it's too small to see it clearly point. or so I've heard at least.

Posted by: tommy at October 10, 2005 07:17 AM (TWHR8)

6 5 is not very many, but when you're in pain, it's hard to believe you will ever be out of it. It may be your last migraine, who knows? PS Can your Angels PLEASE take out the horrid Yanks today??

Posted by: jeff at October 10, 2005 10:17 AM (UvRVI)

7 Vinny Testaverde, age 41, led the NY Jets to a 14-12 victory on Sunday afternoon. Several hours later, Roger Clemens, age 43, pitched three shutout innings to get the win as the Astros defeated the Braves 7-6 in 18 innings. Ain't nothin' wrong with being over 40.

Posted by: joated at October 10, 2005 02:52 PM (M7kiy)

8 I have the perfect cure. Marathoning. Yep, that's the deal. Start running. When you start running you learn a lot about your body. You meet great people. It's fun. Two pack-a-day Pat started running at age 50. Ran a marathon in 2001. Qualified for the Boston Marathon in 2004. Here's something odd, though. I used to have migraines from my teens through my 20s. I saw a chiropractor and he fixed the problem. Later, the migraines came back. I suddenly realized that they came on within half an hour of eating peanuts. I stopped eating peanuts and, hey presto, no migraines.

Posted by: Pat at October 10, 2005 09:20 PM (BbD+1)

9 old age and treachery win over youthful inexperience every time. Try excedrine migraine with a large glass of water. If that doesn't work, see your doctor... they have wonderful new drugs that stop them before they start.

Posted by: Zendo Deb at October 10, 2005 09:48 PM (S417T)

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For years my father stayed abreast of this weblog by calling me to ask if I was still blogging. Eventually I began to suggest that there were other ways to find out beyond throwing me an interrogative.

Now he tells me that I'm losing my touch. I explain about the computer glitch that limits me to short entries.

He's unimpressed.

Parents constitute the ultimate tough room.

Posted by: Attila at 10:48 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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Using Pirate Route A, I made it to Westchester in 55 minutes today. Coming back, I wasn't so lucky, but I think there were a few accidents that delayed freeway traffic and messed things up locally.

However, I'm going to look at the Gold Line. I could catch it in Pasadena, and she could just pick me up wherever it is that it stops. Thoughts?

I don't suppose we get to use the Diamond Lanes here in SoCal if we buy hybrid cars?

Posted by: Attila at 10:44 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Since my grandmother had so many heart attacks (and strokes) over so many years, mom just doesn't see how a teensy heart attack could possibly be a big deal. Very flattering and all, but why are my brother and I calling her so much now? (Gee, Mom. Maybe because the last heart attack Grandma had killed her?)

But I trust her to report the doctors' feedback faithfully, and it appears that all involved (again, except the sibling and I) see it as a non-event. So, onward.

Posted by: Attila at 10:38 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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it's real.

I drove to Westchester yesterday to check on the house my mother owns there, and see what needs to be done to it before she can move in. She had planned to move in November, but the tenant found another rental unexpectedly quickly, and he's out.

Paint, I told her. And a new back door. And the carpets look iffy.

Anyone know the shortcut to LAX?—that freeway the airport shuttle peopel use? It took me an hour and a half to get home yesterday via the 10/405, and I think I'm gonna need that route.

Posted by: Attila at 09:39 AM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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1 Downtown to LAX.......sounds like my daily commute. My route I take the 110 to the 105. First off if the hubby goes with you, you can use the carpool lanes that start just south of downtown and run all the way to LAX, including the carpool only interchange to the 105. Off the 105 you can take Aviation or Sepulveda exits. If there is a lot of airport traffic you can take the freeway to the end on Imperial Highway, go down to Pershing hang a right then take that to Manchester (depending on what part of Westchester). If you're alone you'll hit normal rush hour traffic but its not too bad once you get past USC going south. People seem to feel the urge to hit the brakes when the 110 goes up and down hills. On weekday mornings 105 traffic is heaviest west-bound in the afternoons the heavy traffic is east-bound. Going against traffic moves quite smoothly. On weekends the only thing that really screws things up is USC games. And the carpool interchange may be closed if they are filming a movie.

Posted by: the Pirate at October 07, 2005 10:27 AM (SksyN)

2 OR you can take the 10 to Fairfax, get off there and go south, then you'll hit La Cienega going south, take that through the hills then hang a right on La Tijera and you'll be in Westchester. Plus there must be a commuter flight from Burbank Airport to LAX, which could be quicker.

Posted by: the Pirate at October 07, 2005 10:34 AM (SksyN)

3 Pirate's right. 110-105 is fastest. If you think that's apt to be clogged based on the time of day, take Los Robles down to the 710 start to the 105. Takes about 10-15 minutes longer because of the stoplights in Alhambra. I am about to work in Watts, and I take the 110 to 105 to work, and 105 to 710 home because that's actually against traffic.

Posted by: caltechgirl at October 07, 2005 11:00 AM (WfvM0)

4 hey, you got more than 5 lines! what happened?

Posted by: caltechgirl at October 07, 2005 11:01 AM (WfvM0)

5 Right now the max appears to be 7

Posted by: Attila Girl at October 07, 2005 11:18 AM (Kti1Q)

6 The only problem I've run into on the 710 is truck traffic from the port.

Posted by: the Pirate at October 07, 2005 11:27 AM (SksyN)

7 What?!? Mom's coming to SoCal? Is this the end of your drives up to the Bay Area? I REFUSE to believe I MISSED A POST.

Posted by: k at October 07, 2005 01:06 PM (M7kiy)

8 Oh, I'll still be going up there. But I'll probably experiment at least once with taking her along. Based on the degree of argumentation I encounter, that could become a habit.

Posted by: Attila Girl at October 07, 2005 02:51 PM (Kti1Q)

9 How is she doing? Someone else had the same condition recently, but his was due to illegal activities

Posted by: beautifulatrocities at October 07, 2005 05:55 PM (1vA/l)

10 I don't know where you're coming from but I'd take the 605 to the 105. The 105 runs right to the airport.

Posted by: Chuck at October 07, 2005 08:30 PM (R/J3m)

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She found out on Friday that she had a mild heart attack (as in an infarction) a few months ago.

And I mean—mild. She's not seeing the cardiologist until Thursday.

I'm irrationally afraid, and it's manifesting as anger. I want someone to cross me so I can yell at them. I'm a one-woman "fuck you" looking for a target.

Let's talk politics.

Posted by: Attila at 12:36 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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1 Pick me! Pick me! I'LL be your whipping post!!

Posted by: k at October 04, 2005 10:17 AM (M7kiy)

2 k, your dander is up in a most *alarming* way today. .

Posted by: Desert Cat at October 04, 2005 02:07 PM (Quk+4)

3 I would, but I make it a rule never to tangle with women who dated any of my boyfriends. That goes double for my husband's exes, and triple for you. So you're SOL.

Posted by: Attila Girl at October 04, 2005 02:18 PM (Kti1Q)

4 Rats! foiled again!

Posted by: k at October 04, 2005 03:40 PM (M7kiy)

5 Prayers for your mom! And for you too! Hope all goes well.

Posted by: Darrell at October 04, 2005 08:51 PM (a0G9f)

6 Thank you. We'll be fine. But there are moments when I try to control the uncontrollable.

Posted by: Attila Girl at October 04, 2005 11:02 PM (Kti1Q)

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Pretty nice.

And not just because one of my two (2) theories on who "the half-blood prince" might be turned out to be correct.

This book is shorter than the last one by a few hundred pages, but I still had to break the reading up into two sessions. Naturally, that meant that I had to read a few chapters over as the details faded from memory . . .

Posted by: Attila at 11:21 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Though the lab techs don't see the images: those get sent directly to the doctor. So, naturally, I'm insecure, and presume that I ruined everything by breathing through my nose (to the degree that I can).

At least when I get my boobs squished the nice technician tells me when to hold my breath.

Posted by: Attila at 11:07 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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1 Glad to hear you survived. I would think the techs get to see enough of the images to know that the test went correctly: They just told you they didn't so you wouldn't ask for an opinion that could be used to sue them later. That's the real reason they didn't ask you to hold your breath while they squeezed your breasts for the sinus cavity images...see Geena Davis vs USA Health Care (2005)

Posted by: Darrell at October 02, 2005 09:04 AM (TQAQQ)

2 So far, that hasn't happened Breast-squeezing generally occurs during mammograms, and believe me--the technicians and machines are far rougher than any man would be.

Posted by: Attila Girl at October 02, 2005 11:08 AM (Kti1Q)

3 I've heard the horror stories. Maybe a PhD in Medical Imaging could explain why they don't compress the breast by flattening them, front-to back. Like lying on the imaging plate, or being squeezed from the front with a back restraint. Wouldn't that accomplish the same level of compression/thickness reduction in a more comfortable/natural way? Hmmm? As I was writing, certain breast geometries came to mind that would negate my argument. But couldn't there be two types of imaging devices? Must the majority of women suffer just to accomodate the minority?

Posted by: Darrell at October 02, 2005 09:49 PM (Domg5)

4 Still thinking...Is it because you don't want to direct that dose of radiation into the chest cavity? If so, ooops! Forget everything I said...I mean above, not everything I've ever said.

Posted by: Darrell at October 02, 2005 09:54 PM (Domg5)

5 Well, even women with modest-sized boobs will experience them "settling" into place when they lie on their backs. If we were on our backs they wouldn't be able to gather all the tissue up properly. The leaning forward doesn't bother me--just the actual squishing, which gets worse as they try to reduce the amount of radiation used. But, you know--better than untreated cancer.

Posted by: Attila Girl at October 02, 2005 10:38 PM (Kti1Q)

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