littlemissattila.new.mu.nu

March 19, 2006

Swell.

Two friends of mine yelled at me today: one for a joke I made that—unbeknownst to me—drew blood, and the other for not riding along on an emotional head trip he was taking.

I find myself less willing to do that these days.

And Mr. Can't-Take-a-Joke may find that he has less license for brutality in his jokes with me from here outward. After all, I was simply matching his style of interaction.

I have a headache. I have friends like other people have mice.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 11:59 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
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1 I have friends like other people have mice. Huh? you feed your friends to snakes??!!! I'll be over here. Waaaaaaaaaaaay over here.

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at March 20, 2006 05:25 AM (1hM1d)

2 And I thought they were just used for scientific experiments.

Posted by: Sean Hackbarth at March 20, 2006 07:57 AM (JAozc)

3 I'm curious, what was the joke?

Posted by: Jack at March 20, 2006 09:49 AM (Mfo8k)

4 We're working together on a flyer for a nonprofit fundraiser. He was aggravated because someone had dropped the ball in terms of getting the flyer done, and said he'd take care of it himself. I said I'd handle it if the other person couldn't, because sometimes the way he doctored our fundraising flyers looked "awful." (This is in keeping with the little playful jabs he takes at me, and was presented in that spirit.) I hadn't realized how much ego he had tied up as an artist in the idea that everything he did was aesthetically pleasing. I took it for granted that he knows how much I respect his use of color (particularly when it comes to paint) but that I do not think print/typography are his strong suit. I forgot that his father was a calligrapher, and there could well be some emotional content there. Also, he's bearing the brunt of the organizational work for this fundraiser, and it's starting to wear on him. So I apologized, but I won't be accepting every single playful jab he takes at tme, either. And if he pushes my buttons too much and won't recognize his double standard, I'll discuss his troubled relationship with the world of print production. 'Cause Mama don't like it when things get too lopsided.

Posted by: Attila Girl at March 20, 2006 11:10 AM (s96U4)

5 Sometimes artists, fanatics, and crazy people have one thing in common. You have to treat they with kid gloves. I have often thought that they are just wired different. Now leave me alone while I put splash of colour in the lou while writing that clipper code and visiting all those right wing blogs d*mn*t. 8^)

Posted by: Jack at March 20, 2006 04:58 PM (4eoaY)

6 He's gay isn't he? Thats OK, I know, its obvious. Sometimes gayness just has a way of exhibiting itself and leaps and prances and shakes its finger and bobs its head and makes a general nuisance of itself. I'd bet $10,000.00 that he's as gay as a three dollar bill. Hell, I'd bet a million dollars; even a billion dollars.

Posted by: john at March 20, 2006 05:33 PM (HxQ75)

7 Jack has a point. There's some bloggers out there that fit that description.

Posted by: Daniel at March 20, 2006 06:48 PM (GIhW0)

8 Well, of course he's gay. But that's not quite the point, except for the fact that guys who let themselves get too queeney sometimes become a little inconsiderate of others, and I don't accept that behavior. Of course, he called me up to apologize today, so all is well.

Posted by: Attila Girl at March 20, 2006 07:22 PM (s96U4)

9 Of course, I do know guys who have very strong color aesthetics who are not the least bit gay. Straight photographers, in particular, are very visually exacting, though the ones who have temper tantrums do it a bit differently. And I know gay men who are aesthetically wired and still completely devoid of queeniness. Hm . . . (ideas for character development forming as we speak).

Posted by: Attila Girl at March 20, 2006 07:26 PM (s96U4)

10 Mice? But I thought you HAD mice! or, no. Rats? Rats. You have rats.

Posted by: k at March 21, 2006 01:50 AM (Ffvoi)

11 And sometimes mice. But neither species has ever made it into the house, thanks to spousal vigilance.

Posted by: Attila Girl at March 21, 2006 08:45 AM (s96U4)

12 Daniel; When I really want to read from one crazy as all hell fanatic, hysterical nut case I go to dailykos, or moveon or codepink. Go there for laughs.

Posted by: Jack at March 21, 2006 11:09 AM (TO7ZA)

13 And spousal vigilance has kept them from breaching the Inner Fastness of the walls - with a memorable incident where one breached the OUTER fastness, only to lie there rotting its poor self away between the two...whilst your faithful readers speculated on whether this was a pest of the rodent rodent variety, or one of those rat I mean mice friends gone a step too far...

Posted by: k at March 24, 2006 04:32 AM (Ffvoi)

14 Around the house, neither one of us speculated aloud as to whether the other had snapped,, and finally done someone in . . . we just bought more candles and air fresheners, and waited for the air to dessicate whatever Thing was stinking up the joint.

Posted by: Attila Girl at March 24, 2006 11:39 PM (s96U4)

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I've Been Up for Over 20 Hours.

I should go to bed, but the true obsessive-compulsive doesn't stop what she's doing merely because it would be the rational thing.

My "audition" for the gig that I'm almost positive I really want is this coming Wednesday. After that, my niece flies into town—that very night.

It feels like I'm about to have No Time for Anything, Ever Again in My Life. But that would be just fine, if I also had those. . . what do they call them? The happy paper thingies. Um. Paychecks!

Actually, the thing to do is set aside that feeling of desperation, and try my best impression of someone prepared to do rational analysis: figure out what hours I'd like to work if I'm going to commute, and how many days a week I'll crash at my mom's place. (She's in the next town over, and has an extra room; quite the resource, huh?)

And, given all that, get a REASONABLE idea of what salary level would compensate me for having to work in El Segundo. I should set that figure higher than it would be for a job in L.A. or Pasadena; that's for sure.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 12:33 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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March 17, 2006

Must Be Fun, Living with Me

So, I'm talking to Attila the Hub, and casually remark, "you know all those songs with those easily improved, entirely regrettable lyrics?"

"What are you talking about?" he responds. (This is not an unusual phrase on his lips.)

"Well, you know: so many song lyrics don't really scan properly as poetry, and the singers have to sing them weird. And of course there's always a really obvious edit that would fix the problem."

"And how do you know about the songs?" he enquires.

"Well, you know: because they had some commercial success, and made the songwriters rich and famous. But that doesn't mean they were true creative successes."

He looks at me.

"Okay," I tell him. "I guess I'll go upstairs now."

Posted by: Attila Girl at 08:13 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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March 16, 2006

Too Exhausted to Move

I worked most of the day in Los Angeles at my proofreading job, and then dropped my mother's laundry off (don't ask) at her house near the L.A. airport. We got a bite to eat, and then I came home to finish proofreading the final of the newsletter for my Twelve-Step group. I sent those changes off to the editor, and now I'm (of course) exhausted-but-wired.

It might be time to ingest some carbs and let them work their magic.

When my husband went to bed I told him he was lucky to be only a decent proofreader, as opposed to a really great one. No one has asked him to do it since he escaped from publishing.

So now I need to see how much sleep I'll be able to get before it's time to . . . go back to L.A. and do yet more proofreading. But quickly, because I still have to get to the printer in Culver City tomorrow afternoon in time to pick up the final version of our newsletter, and deliver it to the office. Then I need to go to my DA meeting that night, because we'll be sharing memories of Roger.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 11:58 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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March 15, 2006

Thanks for All the Notes, Everyone.

Today is a better day. I had a nice little minor row with Attila the Hub. This spring we've been together sixteen years. In fourteen months, we will have been married for a full decade. So I guess, as he put it, we've already "beaten the odds."

It's gratifying that we're learning how to cajole each other out of our bad moods and grumpy moments without it being a manipulative thing, or a way of sweeping all conflicts under the rug. Both of us find the extremes rather tempting, and find it challenging to stay on the balance beam of life. Less so, of course, as we get older.

And it amazes me that we seem to be able to fight fair. Of course, that's one of the essential skills in any relationship, but the formula for "fairness" changes according to who the other person is: there are no abstract rules.

I'm even getting things done around the house, in anticipation of my niece's visit from Chicago next week. The place still looks like a horror show: papers and books everywhere. But it's sllllloooooowwwlllyyy improving.

The niece is coming out for a Dir en Grey concert, and staying for a full week. We're in the process of compiling our L.A.-area "must sees," and I find myself a bit confused, since one feels like one ought to go downtown, yet I get there so rarely in the course of a normal year.

I just don't feel like L.A. has much to do with that city called "Los Angeles." If you know what I mean.

The one non-negotiable cliche is Venice Beach. She does need to see that—and on a weekend, so she can experience the full brunt of the craziness to be found there.

Of course, we're both so overprotective of her that we might come off more like bodyguards than an aunt and uncle—particularly at the concert, which may be a bit punk-ish for our tastes.

How lovely to be an old fogey. I can't think of a better thing to be.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 04:43 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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March 08, 2006

Lazy Would Be a Step Up.

Attila the Hub has started to make little jokes about me being indolent. These jokes make me want to take a nap.

Of course, when I think about napping I spend hours wrestling with guilt, catching up on chores, and wringing my hands about whether it'll screw up my sleep cycles (more than they already are screwed up at any given point). Then I have to read for an hour before there's any chance that "drowsy" will cross the line into "sleepy." And I set an alarm, to make sure I won't sleep too late.

When my husband wants to nap, he goes into the bedroom and lies down. Grrrrr.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 06:41 PM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
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1 Good lord, AG, I think the ability to nap at will is a male thing Any given weekend, hubby will announce he's tired, lay down on bed, be snoring withinfive minutes. Me? Unless I'm so exhausted I need duct tape to keep the eyelids open, I'll lay there running through lists of things I could be doing if I wasn't being a slug.

Posted by: Darleen at March 08, 2006 09:16 PM (FgfaV)

2 They are odd creatures.

Posted by: Attila Girl at March 08, 2006 09:29 PM (s96U4)

3 Me, I now have Special Dispensation due to the physical infirmities that can have me sleeping 18 hours a day, usually in 2-4 shifts. Let your allergies guide you. If that doesn't work, I recommend a cat. Not only will it ramp up your allergic fatigue quite nicely, there's nothing on earth that's a better nap skills teacher. *Everything I know about napping I learned from my cats.*

Posted by: k at March 09, 2006 04:51 AM (y6n8O)

4 They are odd creatures. Who is this they, kemosabe? napping is one of our inalienable rights.

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at March 09, 2006 06:49 AM (1hM1d)

5 I once had a personal ad where I noted that one of my hobbies was sleeping. People thought it was weird. What's that about?

Posted by: beautifulatrocities at March 09, 2006 06:49 AM (5y7yl)

6 Adam Carolla (who turned out to be a closet workaholic) used to say that his two hobbies were napping and preparing to nap.

Posted by: Attila Girl at March 09, 2006 12:28 PM (s96U4)

7 Yore shore a neurotic li'l ol' thang, ain't yew? Just tell yourself how much *more* productive you'll be once you have your nap, and then go to sleep.

Posted by: Desert Cat at March 10, 2006 07:32 AM (xdX36)

8 If I only could! I was once up for three days solid when I was a teenager--that is, I skipped two nights of sleep. When I got home that third evening I went to bed, and woke up to my mother accusing me of being on drugs. "No drugs, Mom. I'll explain later. I've gotta sleep. Goodbye." Dang she was annoying back then. (Also, now. But it's different.)

Posted by: Attila Girl at March 10, 2006 11:14 PM (s96U4)

9 i'd second the cats thing. they make me sleep all the time. you know the old, "aw, you're so cute i'll just lay down here next to ya and pet you for a while....zzzzzzzzzz"

Posted by: maggie katzen at March 12, 2006 12:09 AM (rVzXG)

10 I imagine they would be perfect if only I were The Right Kind of Allergic to them, like K. is. Unfortunately, when I'm around too much cat dander I can't breathe (or I can't relax due to the relentless nose-dabbing, from the continual congestion). Perhaps if I live-streamed video of a happy sleepy cat, I could lie down, look at that, emulate its behavior, and drop off. (I'll see if I can open a window that continually shows one of Laurence's cat-cams.)

Posted by: Attila Girl at March 12, 2006 01:26 AM (s96U4)

11 There is little that is more soothing than a cat who is purring and gently kneading in a somnolent daze. It's magic! That's their working to create a little zone of utter relaxation.

Posted by: Desert Cat at March 12, 2006 11:20 PM (xdX36)

12 When all's right, and the stars are aligned just perfectly, I'm my own cat. Wait . . . did that sound odd?

Posted by: Attila Girl at March 13, 2006 12:11 AM (s96U4)

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March 04, 2006

I Tried the Talking Clock Function

. . . on the system in my Mac. The idea is, it announces the time every hour on the hour, so you have an awareness of time as it goes by.

After all, Attila the Hub uses it. So it must be good. His announces the time in a Lurch voice.

I try for something softer. I think perhaps a female voice is a good idea. No. But the whole concept doesn't work for me: when the computer tells me it's thus-and-such time, I get furious and defensive. I think it's accusing me of being a slacker. I find myself asking it who wanted to know?—and, what the fuck are you doing that's so freaking productive?

I explain to it that I work hard, and don't appreciate its nagging.

So what I'd like to know is what can be done about my computer's personality disorders. I like it, but I just feel it needs . . . well, Prozac. How do I do that? Can I just sprinkle it into the CD drive or something?

I mean, it's a good computer. I just think it might be time for an intervention, and an SSRI.

I want to help.

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March 02, 2006

I Went with My Mother Today

. . . to serve a three-day notice on one of her tenants.

That's the very hardest part of property management. It's probably just as well that I went with her.

She's doing the right thing, but even when someone's trying to game the system a bit it tears one's heart out when anyone falls on hard times. Particularly when they're used to a healthy income. In the best possible universe all our incomes would chart out into a nice, consistent upward trajectory. Almost no one I know has experienced this: instead, it's fat times and lean times and fat again and lean again. And suddenly there we are, practicing the same economies we did in our twenties. The ones we thought we'd left behind for good: Clipping coupons. Cooking from scratch. Ordering just a beverage or an appetizer when we feel we must go out with others. Nothing too onerous, but stuff we thought we'd outgrown.

There's no comfort to be found in this process. I drove her there, I met the tenant, I shook his hand. And I kept my mouth shut.

Snark is for blogging. Not real life.

My mother depends on this income. So, fuck. It's gotta be done. Also: fuck.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 09:22 PM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
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1 Its not an easy thing to evict. The worse ones to do were HUD evictions where some owner would default on a loan and we'd go in and evict everyone so they could resell the property, the government would provided some moving expenses but it wasn't enough. Of course then there are those tenants who have no respect for anything and you're glad to be rid of them. Myself, Aunt and Grandfather have some doozie stories about tenants posessed by the devil (even one that called herself the Son of God, yes I said herself, and sued on behalf of God). On the positive side the tenant didn't curse or threaten you.

Posted by: the Pirate at March 03, 2006 07:36 AM (0ZKi5)

2 Good people don't take "involuntary" loans from people they hardly know, no matter how bad things get. Time to return to the nest and live off mom and pop for awhile, just like nature intended. For the record, I have helped more people than I can remember off the top of my head. I don't recall a single one ever coming around and asking if I need anything. It doesn't matter. I still do what I can, even if it's only directing them to government agencies and private groups that can help them through the current predicament. It's always tough to do what needs to be done in these situations. You handled it perfectly.

Posted by: Darrell at March 03, 2006 10:29 AM (I4hUH)

3 Well, I felt a bit better when the guy's attorney called my mother to tell her she probably didn't realize this--and he knows she's been very nice to his client--but she was in "serious, willful" violation of his bankruptcy terms. This is the bankruptcy that (1) my mother was told she would be excluded from, as his landlady; and (2) she's never received official notice of. But after I got mad, it struck me as hilarious.

Posted by: Attila Girl at March 03, 2006 11:09 AM (s96U4)

4 We had a few cases like that where the filed for it at differnent points in the eviction process. I can't recall all the steps, but its still possible in many cases to go ahead, just ends up costing more in legal fees and going to bankruptcy court.

Posted by: the Pirate at March 03, 2006 11:54 AM (0ZKi5)

5 Well, she was able to take out a second on the house, which is what she needed to do to address this situation, which I guess she's been sensing might go legal. She would have been perfectly happy to see him get back on a regular payment schedule, but that isn't happening, and there are a lot of broken promises and bounced checks. This is all in addition to the fact that when they first moved in they bargained her down on the rent. And I'm not even mentioning the time this tenant called my husband's office (listed as an emergency contact) because he felt my mother hadn't returned his call quite quickly enough regarding a (non-emergency) plumbing problem. The whole thing sucks.

Posted by: Attila Girl at March 03, 2006 12:43 PM (s96U4)

6 Has he seen your "Finnish anti-tank rifle?" Or have you shown up at all hours of the day and night, wearing your crisp nurse's whites, an eye patch, doing your best "Darryl Hanna" impersonation, with that nasty looking glass syringe, whistling 'sha...sha ......sha...sha..sha..."? Some people just can do the right thing on their own.

Posted by: Darrell at March 03, 2006 01:38 PM (0iY89)

7 Oh, believe me--if I didn't want to risk messing up my mom's situation if they could document "harrassment," I'd just get a lawn chair and a book, park myself outside for days at a time, and simply look at them everytime they left. No words, no nothing. Just letting them know, that, very literally, I've got my eye on them. Not even wearing my NRA button. Nothing technically illegal, but annoying. However, who wants to give their attorney someone else to go after? I mean, I lived in that house from the ages of 12 to 18. A quarter of that house also happens to be my retirement plan.

Posted by: Attila Girl at March 03, 2006 02:29 PM (s96U4)

8 Maybe we can call upon the massive army that reads this blog and arrange a convenient time for a few minutes of harmonic convergence a day aimed at the old homestead. "Ohmmmm(hold it for as long as you can)GET OUT YOU SON OF A JACKAL!" Repeat. Let's see him document THAT for court!

Posted by: Darrell at March 03, 2006 09:40 PM (yaaKe)

9 Is a good part of why I employ a good property management firm now. Not a headache I care to deal with, and the 11% is worth the loss of hassle.

Posted by: Desert Cat at March 03, 2006 10:09 PM (xdX36)

10 Why do scientists now use lawyers instead of lab rats in their experiments? 1) They don't have to worry about getting attached to the lawyers. 2) There is no public outcry against cruelty to lawyers. 3) There are some things even a rat won't do. Actually, this looks like a case for overlawyered.com What I don't get is how does he have enough money to pay a lawyer if he doesn't have enough to pay the rent? Lawyers don't come cheap.

Posted by: Robin Messing at March 04, 2006 07:45 PM (Tb/DW)

11 Part of the bankruptcy package.

Posted by: Attila Girl at March 04, 2006 10:09 PM (s96U4)

12 I'm sure I don't have to tell you that you'll be needing a lawyer. Bankruptcy may protect him from the past due rent(if that was included), but it won't give him a place to stay for life. From:http://www.nolo.com/product.cfm/ObjectID/1A3B8DEF-78AA-460B-A48F614FE5E1A794/update/1/104/ New Bankruptcy Legislation Affects Residential Evictions Effective date: Oct. 17, 2005 The Bankruptcy Abuse Prevention and Consumer Protection Act of 2005 affects the procedures landlords must follow when dealing with a tenant who has filed for bankruptcy. Generally, if a tenant has filed for either Chapter 7 or Chapter 13 bankruptcy and is behind in the rent, becomes unable to pay the rent, or violates another term of the tenancy that would justify a termination, a landlord cannot deliver a termination notice or proceed with an eviction. This prohibition is known as the Â“automatic stay,Â” and it means that landlords must go to the federal bankruptcy court and ask the judge to Â“liftÂ” (remove) the stay. (U.S. Code Ã‚Â§ 365(e).) In most cases, the judge will lift the stay within a matter of days and the landlord can proceed with a termination and eviction. (Landlords donÂ’t have to go to court if a tenant is using illegal drugs or endangering the property, as explained below in Â“Bankrupt Tenants, Drugs, and Damage.Â”) The automatic stay does not apply, however, if the eviction lawsuit is over and the landlord obtained a judgment for possession before the tenant filed for bankruptcy. In this situation, under the Bankruptcy Abuse Prevention and Consumer Protection Act of 2005, landlords can generally proceed with the eviction without having to go to court and ask for the stay to be lifted. In very narrow circumstances, and only for evictions based on rent nonpayment, a tenant can stop the eviction even if the landlord got a judgment before the tenant filed for bankruptcy (California does not give tenants this option). A tenant has only 30 days after filing for bankruptcy to try this -- and must complete all three of the following steps: The tenant must file a paper with the court certifying that state law allows the tenant to avoid eviction by paying the unpaid rent, even after the landlord has won a judgment for possession. Very few states extend this option to tenants (California is not one of them). The certification must be served on the landlord. The tenant must deposit with the clerk of the bankruptcy court any rent that would be due 30 days from the date the petition was filed. The tenant must certify to the bankruptcy court (and serve the landlord with this certification) that he has paid the back rent. At any point during the 30-day period, the landlord can file an objection to the tenantÂ’s certification. The court will hold a hearing within 10 days. If the landlord convinces the judge that the tenantÂ’s certifications are not true, the court will lift the stay and the landlord can proceed to recover possession of the property.

Posted by: Darrell at March 06, 2006 08:47 PM (OG19A)

13 She would sooooo settle for getting rent. She just needs her income reinstated. This tenant, BTW, drives a nicer car than she does, or I do, or my husband does. And she does have an attorney, thank goodness.

Posted by: Attila Girl at March 06, 2006 11:07 PM (s96U4)

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February 26, 2006

Remember, Dad:

Much as you might be tempted to, don't fall down and worship the marketing materials I dropped off on your doorstep. It's against the Ten Commandments, after all.

And no more rush jobs, okay? It interrupts my indolence. I came awfully close to having to work on that project, which of course makes me quake in fear.

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Really. Be Honest.

Isn't life delicious?

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February 25, 2006

I'd Just Like to Announce

. . . that I'm not in the mood to finish the brochures and other promotional whatnot for my father's business.

And the fact that they are due tomorrow doesn't really change that.

The mood thing, I mean.

Perhaps I could trick myself: you know. "Whatever you do, Joy, don't proofread that marketing material for Dad. And if you really, really must do that, don't make sure they'll print correctly. Whatever you do. That would be very wicked indeed."

Surely there's a fence around here I could whitewash . . . now that would be a good time.

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February 23, 2006

Respecting My Husband's Incorrect Choices

I managed to commandeer Attila the Hub's laptop computer for a while today until I made up with my own. And I would like full credit for not fixing his browser bookmarks, which are all wrong (also, there aren't enough of them; if you don't have to scroll for five minutes, you don't have enough).

I'd also like full credit for not fixing the pre-sets on his radio when I borrow his car. Those are likewise not as they should be.

Question: What went wrong? Why don't I rule the world? I could save all of you a lot of decision-making time on these issues. You'd actually find it rather liberating.

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February 22, 2006

Blogging May Be Light

. . . until I figure out what's wrong with my computer. I'm on Attila the Hub's PowerBook right now, while mine gets over whatever little mood it's in. I'm giving it a time out so it will learn to play nice with the other kids. Especially me.

Of course, if that doesn't work it's back to the Genius Bar at the Mac store; they are so tired of me there.

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February 20, 2006

Suddenly, We're Quoting Joni Mitchell

How funny that this resonated so loudly with me when I was 25 years old. I heard a snippet of it recently; what an excellent song.

There was a moon and a street lamp
I didnÂ’t know I drank such a lot
Â’till I pissed a tequila-anaconda
The full length of the parking lot!
Oh, I talk too loose
Again I talk too open and free
I pay a high price for my open talking
Like you do for your silent mystery
. . . . . . . .
We could talk about martha
We could talk about landscapes
IÂ’m not above gossip
But IÂ’ll sit on a secret where honor is at stake!
Or we could talk about power
About jesus and hitler and howard hughes
Or charlie chaplinÂ’s movies
Or bergmanÂ’s nordic blues
Please just talk to me
Any old theme you choose
. . . . . . . .
You could talk like a fool-IÂ’d listen
You could talk like a sage
Anyway the best of my mind
All goes down on the strings and the page
That mind picks up all these pictures
It still gets my feet up to dance
Even though itÂ’s covered with keyloids
From the slings and arrows of outrageous romance
I stole that from willy the shake!
You know--neither a borrower nor a lender be
. . . . . . . .
Is your silence that golden?
Are you comfortable in it?
Is it the key to your freedom
Or is it the bars on your prison?
Are you gagged by your ribbons?
Are you really exclusive or just miserly?
You spend every sentence as if it was marked currency!
Come and spend some on me--
Shut me up and talk to me!
IÂ’m always talking!
Chicken squawking!
Please talk to me

And now it's possible for me to have compassion for the person I was back then. Which is pretty cool, if you want to know the truth. I no longer want to travel back in time and give that girl—ahem—a good talking-to.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 04:41 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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1 Ah, "Talk To Me"...from 'Don Juan's Reckless Daughter.' Sure, women say this, then they meet Travis Frey and when he finally opens up they get that "Contract of Wifely Expectations." Happy now? I guess it's better than not knowing. As for Travis, if he is convicted, the judge should offer a reduction of sentence if he gets that contract tattooed on his body, like that character in "Prison Break." That way, his future dates would be spared the suspense. And it would make his prison stay a lot more appropriate.

Posted by: Darrell at February 20, 2006 08:02 PM (GjEOL)

2 Now that would be interesting. Suddenly the guy is talking about the exact dimensions of the patch of permissible pubic hair. And the next time Joni pisses out tequila, it's onto the seat of his car. On purpose. "Bad date. No blowjob for you."

Posted by: Attila Girl at February 20, 2006 10:54 PM (XbEp3)

3 And here I was always thinking those damned t-tops leaked on my Z-cars...

Posted by: Darrell at February 21, 2006 09:17 AM (Mfoza)

4 Sort of on-topic, about subtle communication between the sexes...from my album "You Don't Need MapQuest to Find The Sludge Retention Pond..." The original words of "You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling" by the Righteous Brothers. I'll consider this a copyright, in case someone is so pathetic and desperate. The royalties are to be split between LMA and me, if anyone can make money from it. ...... You don't wipe your ass anymore when you take a shit... You don't shave your legs anymore use deodorant stick... I'm tryin' hard not to notice, baby but baby, baby I know that You've lost that lovin' feeling Oh that lovin' feeling You've lost that lovin' feeling Now it's gone, gone, gone oh, oh, oh There's no human look in your eyes when I reach for you And what's with the throwin' up everytime I talk about my life with you? Oh,Oh it makes me just fell like crying Cause, baby, smells like something beautiful's dying. Baby, I'd get down on my knees for you... If you would only shower Like you used to do We had a love a love, a love you don't find everyday So don't, don't, don't let it stink away... I said baby I'm begging you please I need your love So bring on the bath just bring on the bath.

Posted by: Darrell at February 21, 2006 12:35 PM (iypkD)

5 Should be "you've lost that slavish feeling," but I'll let it go.

Posted by: Attila Girl at February 21, 2006 02:20 PM (XbEp3)

6 "I no longer want to travel back in time and give that girlÂ—ahemÂ—a good talking-to." Just as well. That girl wouldn't listen to you. I've gone through that mental exercise before, and always come up with the same answer: then-me telling now-me to mind my own business, that I'm not the person you are, and there's no guarnatee that I'll make the same choices and mistake I did. Or, I will. Whatever. You have to make your own mistakes, in your own time. There's no shortcut to wisdom.

Posted by: Steve Skubinna at February 21, 2006 09:36 PM (eguza)

7 "Take this letter that I give you; Take it Sonny; hold it high. You won't understand a word that's in it, But you'll write it all again before you die." --Queen, Queen II, "Father to Son"

Posted by: Attila Girl at February 21, 2006 09:46 PM (XbEp3)

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February 15, 2006

Yes.

Home today; I'm flying back to LA out of B-More this afternoon. And I loved my time in D.C.; I'm loving my time in Maryland. But I'm ready to go home, "to my own bed, where I can let go." I'm deeply exhausted—in that "tired but happy" way.

I also haven't seen my husband in a week, so I'll need to power-interact with him. I might just hug him for another full week straight, though that would make things awkward as he attempted to go about his business.

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February 13, 2006

Wow.

I'm in Prof. Purkinje's guest room, looking at photographs he's taken over the years, and a colorful piece of iguana folk art that my then-partner and I gave him as a wedding present in 1990. There's a picture on the desk of him with another biologist I know quite well. And a tin can is used as a pen holder: he's had it for years, and it alludes to a group joke from our high school days. And I'm pretty sure that another print on the wall is one I gave him 20 years ago.

So naturally, I suspect him of tweaking the decor to make me feel at home. What I don't think he tweaked is the bookcase, which is astonishing to me—not because of the coincidental overlap in our tastes, but because it suddenly hits me how many books I got turned onto through him, when one adds up the high school recommendations to the college ones to those from when we were in our twenties. This isn't even counting my two favorite mystery writers (other than Dorothy L. Sayers, of course), who between them account for a full bookshelf of mine at home, but are not represented here. And then there are the 2-3 books I've actually recommended to him. The overlap is, on the whole, tremendous. Though he has more books, and he's actually read them.

I'm a proofreader. I read slowly. And—let's face it: my eyes are bigger than my eyes. Not that that's a bad thing . . . I hope.

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Robo-Raptor

So, Prof. Purkinje's son, age almost-nine, is showing me his Robo-Raptor.

"Wow," I say. I'm really impressed. "Isn't he a cutie?"

"Cute?" He's appalled.

"I meant a butch sort of cute," I tell him.

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February 07, 2006

CPAC-bound

I'm headed out tonight on the redeye to D.C., to take up residence in Blogger's Alley beginning Thursday morning. I'll be attending the Presidential Banquet as a civilian, so I can socialize better with a few of the Cotillion babes.

I will need to do a bank job when I get back, since my fundraising fell a few hundred short of the mark. But that's okay. Unless someone has an alternative suggestion: after all, a bank is a Federal rap. Perhaps a jewelry store would be more practical. Anyway, I'm open to suggestions on that.

I'll try to get in some sightseeing tomorrow, and I'll have a little time on Sunday to do the same. Then it's off to Maryland for a few days, and home again home again, jiggety jog on Wednesday.

I virtually grew up in the Smithsonian during the years I lived in Md., but there probably won't be time to visit all my old haunts: I really want to see the WWII memorial, and if they're still giving tours of the J. Edgar Hoover building, I might do that.

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February 03, 2006

Is This What It's Like, Being Normal?

I got the stents out today; therefore the blood and snot flow have slowed down, and . . .

I'M BREATHING THROUGH MY NOSE!

I mean, deep breaths. With my mouth closed. And it takes very little effort. It doesn't make a whole lot of noise, either.

Oxygen is my friend.

Maybe Attila the Hub and I should move into a little trailer, so I can give the house to my ENT doctor/surgeon, as a small token of my appreciation.

Alternatively, I might simply send him a box of candy or a basket of fruit. (No flowers: too many allergic people go through his office.) That might be an easier sell around the household.

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1 I found your blog because I was having the same problems you were having with Blogger back in September. Looks like they healed themselves without surgical intervention. I hope your surgery heals fabulously and that life just gets better and better.

Posted by: Aviatrix at February 03, 2006 04:54 PM (//BKu)

2 Oh my gracious! CONGRATULATIONS! Have you slept yet? No, of course not. Ate anything? Looked for any of those flowers to smell? This is SO EXCITING! I can't STAND it!!! I am SO GLAD you did this! Okay. Quick. Go sleep and then come back and tell us if you noticed any change. PLEEEEEEZZZE?

Posted by: k at February 03, 2006 05:05 PM (Ffvoi)

3 OH! OH! and THEN! We can ask Attila the Hub to go find your sleeping cocoon, and listen in, and see if you're snoring any more!

Posted by: k at February 03, 2006 05:07 PM (Ffvoi)

4 Well, I still have a bit of a runny nose, but the cool thing about my new broadband nasal passages is that there can be mucus, and I can still breathe. I mean, there's room for both snot and air. The doctor looked up my nostrils, and proclaimed them "beautiful." I found myself wondering whether he looks up his girlfriend's nose, and if so, if the sight is even more exquisite. There's still some blood, but I don't have to wear the nasal dressing all over the place. So I think it's premature to expect full olfactory function. I tried tilting my head back, going limp, and snoring. I did, but it was relatively quiet. So there may still be an issue in my throat. I'm wondering if the soft palate creates that little vibration. I'm thinking of going back to voice exercises, to tone up those muscles a bit: I have heard that singers don't snore. I'll probably spend one more night on the couch, with the old pillowcases on the pillows in case of blood, and then I'll move back in with Attila the Hub.

Posted by: Attila Girl at February 03, 2006 05:20 PM (XbEp3)

5 broadband! hee hee! Okay. It's morning. How'd you sleep?

Posted by: k at February 04, 2006 06:30 AM (y6n8O)

6 that sounds great! also, singer here. kinda lazy one, but i snore occassionally. the thing is you want the soft palate to be mobile, i suppose there is some toning involved to be able to "lift or lower" it when needed, but i doubt it's something one could do in their sleep. i could also be smokin' crack. ;D related, i've also heard about a study showing that humming can help with congestion.

Posted by: maggie katzen at February 04, 2006 09:54 AM (rVzXG)

7 I slept lusciously, and woke up with my mouth open, but not dry in that way it usually is in the morning: often, I'm halfway to a sore throat by the time I wake up from mouth-breathing all night.

Posted by: Attila Girl at February 04, 2006 10:58 AM (XbEp3)

8 Glad to hear! Your gums(and teeth)are thanking you already. They may even stay around for another few years...

Posted by: Darrell at February 04, 2006 12:17 PM (hNr9Z)

9 Oh BOY! is this great.

Posted by: k at February 04, 2006 12:40 PM (Ffvoi)

10 I'm getting so much oxygen that I have a lot more energy. It really is quite impressive.

Posted by: Attila Girl at February 04, 2006 10:19 PM (XbEp3)

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Female Trouble

I used to claim that although I could be as catty and competitive as the next girl, I never ever started a feud with another woman, but only responded when others began sending me that competitive vibe.

I'm pretty sure I was full of shit about that.

There's a woman whom I admire greatly and see a few times a month. She's intelligent, beautiful, and cultured. She has a good job and can afford extremely nice clothes and expensive hair treatments.

She seems increasingly edgy with me, and my first impulse is to wonder what her damned problem is. But I know I can be as passive-aggressive as the next person. I also know that I suspected my husband of having a crush on her for a while. (He denies this.) So there's every possibility that I've been oozing animus toward her without quite admitting it to myself.

The trick is to figure out what sorts of bullshit I've been pulling, and apologize for it.

I'm too old for this shit, and it's time to nip it in the bud.

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