Do go gentle into that good night, if that's your plan.

The husband and I talked about living wills tonight, of course. He wants me to err on the side of life, and I want him to err on the side of dignity. But as I told him, I suspect our sensibilities are within a few city blocks of each others'. He just wants a full battery of tests before we give up on him. He tells me he plans to put a beloved object next to me, and if I react to it, he'll know someone's home.

I just don't want anyone publicizing video of me in any kind of mentally damaged state, and I expect my husband to take care of anyone who releases anything like that to the media. (Am I being clear, here? Good: we're all on the same page.)

It's so nice to be married. It's so nice to be with this guy; I can't even express it. Despite our slightly different attitudes toward life, we each trust the other to make a decision that conforms to our own sensibilities. How great is that?

Posted by: Attila at 02:46 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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1 "I just don't want anyone publicizing video of me in any kind of mentally damaged state" - (*cough*) barn door (*cough*) horse (*cough*) ogre...

Posted by: Little Mr Mahatma at April 01, 2005 08:35 AM (BZ0tI)

2 Do I know you? Believe me--the Ogre movie is the least of it; how about some of that party footage from the late 70s/early 80s? And, BTW, how about the Little Black Sambo sequence from high school? Has you wife seen *that*?

Posted by: Attila Girl at April 01, 2005 11:42 AM (R4CXG)

3 So you'd put your guy on the same level as Michael Schiavo? I wouldn't. One of the reasons a lot of people had a problem with Terri's situation was their uncomfortableness (for lack of a better word) with Michael.

Posted by: Don at April 01, 2005 02:31 PM (FsGoB)

4 Just to be very clear...your guy, just judging by your description is far above Michael Schiavo. Didn't know if that was perfectly clear after reading my comment.

Posted by: Don at April 01, 2005 02:32 PM (FsGoB)

5 I realize that a lot of people don't trust Michael Schiavo. But I'm talking about my own marriage now.

Posted by: Attila Girl at April 01, 2005 05:44 PM (R4CXG)

6 Mrs. Atilla, For the love of your fans, please give yourself a decent time frame to recover before making a decision. Example: http://archives.postandcourier.com/archive/arch96/0896/arc0829134205.shtml http://archives.postandcourier.com/archive/arch96/1096/arc1001140395.shtml http://archives.postandcourier.com/archive/arch97/0197/arc0115145849.shtml Six weeks is a decent starting point for recovery potential. Personally, I would go with six months of standard treatment. If no significant changes occur, try a few weeks of some more extreme therapies. If no changes occur, let me rest in peace.

Posted by: Steven at April 01, 2005 05:45 PM (+6rc2)

7 I fear the consequences of any attempts of politicians to "Improve" the situation.

Posted by: Walter E. Wallis at April 01, 2005 06:52 PM (MBCZx)

8 Living wills are essential today more than ever!

Posted by: Collin Baber at April 01, 2005 08:36 PM (fufbw)

9 Right. No longer is it safe to assume that you will get the care you expect. The assumption doesn't appear to be in favor of life anymore, and getting less so all the time. My real question though, is how soon will it be easy for doctors or estranged family members to ignore advance directives in favor of life extending treatment if it is not "expedient"? Or have we already passed that point? My parents, quite shaken by this whole episode, are revising their living wills to clarify that starvation/dehydration is NOT what they meant by "no heroic measures". In fact they are modifying it all the way back to where it will be simply a DNR directive. All other reasonable therapies to treat their condition and provide for their comfort are back on the table.

Posted by: Desert Cat at April 01, 2005 09:43 PM (xdX36)

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