May 30, 2004

More Mandatory Reading

Bill Whittle is at it again. The guy who brought you the mind-blowing essay "Magic" is at it again, with a two-part article entitled "Strength." (As in, why being strong should not make us hate ourselves.) It has to do with why we will not give up the faith, and why we cannot. And why this war is crucial to the survival of the West. It's about the length of an Atlantic feature, so make yourself comfortable.

It contains within it both a defense of the War in Iraq and a defense of U.S. strategy in Fallujah.

This one is impossible to summarize, but here's a passage I like because it's acerbic, and well-written:

Senator Kennedy claims Abu Ghraib is simply Saddam Hussein’s torture chambers “under new management – U.S. management.” Taking him at his word – a somewhat iffy proposition right out of the gate – he apparently cannot see the difference between the humiliation and bullying of enemy combatants, which is shameful, disgusting and reprehensible, and the gleeful, mocking murder, torture and gang rape of over 300,000 innocent men, women and children -- which is something worse. So Senator, here is a helpful analogy which you may find useful: The difference is about the same as pulling over and leaving a young female secretary on the curb in the rain, which is shameful, disgusting and reprehensible, vs. leaving her trapped in the car at the bottom of a river while you look at the bubbles and ponder the political repercussions.

Which is something worse, Senator.

Americans living today have never known torture or oppression or state-sponsored murder, and so it becomes nothing more than a rhetorical concept for most of us. People who defend Saddam and Kim and Castro have no idea at all about what that life entails. None. And so, in their safe and antiseptic little worlds of coffee shops and chat rooms, it all reduces to rhetoric. And since, in the end, itÂ’s nothing but words anyway, they feel they can win an argument because their rhetoric goes up to eleven.

Bushitler.

(And, by the way, if you're too young to know what Bill's talking about with respect to Senator Kennedy, you need to Google the name Chappaquiddick, and/or drop by here, to find out why the Third Brother was never considered Presidential material.)

Via Reverend Pixy.


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May 29, 2004

A Plague on All Your Houses

JessicaCutler08.jpg

Hey--the pics are hot. I can just see the video: Debbie Does DC, with a Good Friend. Behold Wonkette (left), and the Washingtonienne (right), enjoying a night of Being Seen on the town. Negotiations continue with Hefner's people.

Suddenly, we're all supposed to weigh in on whether it's okay for young staffers on Capitol Hill (e.g. the Washingonienne) to do some hooking on the side in order to meet their expenses when they are only making $25K a year. The whole subject makes me tired. But, okay:

1) What exactly are their bosses doing for money? Some of our legislators may not be turning tricks, but they're certainly willing to put the national interest aside in order to get a few dollars from home constituents who want the pork barrel projects to keep rolling in. There is whoring, and then whoring.

2) It's easy for us to get self-righteous about how we got by in our youth without selling our bodies. I mean, Wonkette got a little mean-spirited at Michelle Malkin's expense, but it's true that not everyone has the same survival skills as everyone else.

3) Nonetheless, there are media interns living dorm-style in Manhattan on 20K. It means bunk beds and little privacy, but it can be done. And, unlike being in politics, most media jobs really are a vow of poverty--it really means years of under-earning. (Let me put it this way: it makes teaching salaries look good, at least for the first 20 years.)

4) I managed to live on 16K in West L.A. in the early 90s. Though I didn't enjoy it, and

5) I lived as a good friend's paid mistress for five years before that, partly because he was a nice guy and could afford it, and partly because I just didn't have any marketable skills or self-confidence at all.

6) Is there any chance we bloggers could actually talk about Real News, rather than weighing and chronicling the life choices of shallow people who are relentless users of men (though if we must, Kevin's done a bang-up job, so to speak)? And, regarding Wonkette, who seems to be garnering even more resentment than the Washingtonienne herself, I usually vote WRT her the way I used to vote against Howard Stern: I "change the dial."

And, let me put this to rest: I'd just like to say right here and right now that there is no truth to the rumors that Baldilocks and I will be doing a centerfold together in Penthouse. Although we've told 'em they can place hundreds of thousands of dollars in our tip jars, if they like. To pay us for our writing. (Remember that?--writing? Some of us are still doing that. It saves us scads on all that K-Y jelly.)

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May 28, 2004

The Song of the Queen Bee

A friend sent me this, via e-mail.

I heard this on CD, read by EB White's son, Joel. It cracked me up.

E.B White: Song of the Queen Bee
New Yorker Magazine 1945
"The breeding of the bee," says a United States Department
of Agriculture bulletin on artificial insemination, "has
always been handicapped by the fact that the queen mates
in the air with whatever drone she encounters."

When the air is wine and the wind is free
and the morning sits on the lovely lea
and sunlight ripples on every tree
Then love-in-air is the thing for me
I'm a bee,
I'm a ravishing, rollicking, young queen bee,
That's me.
I wish to state that I think it's great,
Oh, it's simply rare in the upper air,
It's the place to pair
With a bee.

Let old geneticists plot and plan,
They're stuffy people, to a man;
Let gossips whisper behind their fan.
(Oh, she does?
Buzz, buzz, buzz!)
My nuptial flight is sheer delight;
I'm a giddy girl who likes to swirl,
To fly and soar
And fly some more,
I'm a bee.
And I wish to state that I'll always mate
With whatever drone I encounter.

There's a kind of a wild and glad elation
In the natural way of insemination;
Who thinks that love is a handicap
Is a fuddydud and a common sap,
For I am a queen and I am a bee,
I'm devil-may-care and I'm fancy-free,
The test tube doesn't appeal to me,
Not me,
I'm a bee.
And I'm here to state that I'll always mate
With whatever drone I encounter.

Mares and cows, by calculating,
Improve themselves with loveless mating,
Let groundlings breed in the modern fashion,
I'll stick to the air and the grand old passion;
I may be small and I'm just a bee
But I won't have science improving me,
Not me,
I'm a bee.
On a day that's fair with a wind that's free,
Any old drone is a lad for me.

I've no flair for love moderne,
It's far too studied, far too stern,
I'm just a bee--I'm wild, I'm free,
That's me.
I can't afford to be too choosy;
In every queen there's a touch of floozy,
And it's simply rare
In the upper air
And I wish to state
That I'll always mate
With whatever drone I encounter.

Man is a fool for the latest movement,
He broods and broods on race improvement;
What boots it to improve a bee
If it means the end of ecstasy?
(He ought to be there
On a day that's fair,
Oh, it's simply rare.
For a bee.)

Man's so wise he is growing foolish,
Some of his schemes are downright ghoulish;
He owns a bomb that'll end creation
And he wants to change the sex relation,
He thinks that love is a handicap,
He's a fuddydud, he's a simple sap;
Man is a meddler, man's a boob,
He looks for love in the depths of a tube,
His restless mind is forever ranging,
He thinks he's advancing as long as he's changing,
He cracks the atom, he racks his skull,
Man is meddlesome, man is dull,
Man is busy instead of idle,
Man is alarmingly suicidal,
Me, I am a bee.

I am a bee and I simply love it,
I am a bee and I'm darn glad of it,
I am a bee, I know about love:
You go upstairs, you go above,
You do not pause to dine or sup,
The sky won't wait --it's a long trip up;
You rise, you soar, you take the blue,
It's you and me, kid, me and you,
It's everything, it's the nearest drone,
It's never a thing that you find alone.
I'm a bee,
I'm free.

If any old farmer can keep and hive me,
Then any old drone may catch and wife me;
I'm sorry for creatures who cannot pair
On a gorgeous day in the upper air,
I'm sorry for cows that have to boast
Of affairs they've had by parcel post,
I'm sorry for a man with his plots and guile,
His test-tube manner, his test-tube smile;
I'll multiply and I'll increase
As I always have--by mere caprice;
For I am a queen and I am a bee,
I'm devil-may-care and I'm fancy-free,
Love-in-air is the thing for me,
Oh, it's simply rare
In the beautiful air,
And I wish to state
That I'll always mate
With whatever drone I encounter.

Remember: In every queen, there's a touch of floozy. E.B. White, ladies and gentlemen.

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Keep Your Eyes Peeled

Here's a list of the seven people we're supposed to be looking for, with pictures. (I'm still seeking out the alternate pictures for each of these people that show the different ways they look sometimes; I'll post it when I find it.)

Know your neighbors.

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May 27, 2004

The Population Bomb

Dean Esmay discusses land mass on our little planet, and how there's a bit more of it than you might think. It's required reading, so get to it.

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Algore

I hear that Gore's family is organizing an intervention to get him into treatment. The crack situation is out of hand.

The full text of his embarrassing hiccup of a speech is at Salon. The New York Times also has a brief summary. (It's lovely to note that although several of the officials and cabinet members Gore called upon to resign issued brief "we serve at the pleasure of the President" statements, Condi Rice didn't dignify Gore's remarks with a response. Quite right.)

I won't fisk it or anything, but there are a few priceless quotes:

In my opinion, John Kerry is dealing with this unfolding tragedy in an impressive and extremely responsible way. Our nation's best interest lies in having a new president who can turn a new page, sweep clean with a new broom, and take office on January 20th of next year with the ability to make a fresh assessment of exactly what our nation's strategic position is as of the time the reins of power are finally wrested from the group of incompetents that created this catastrophe.

Kerry should not tie his own hands by offering overly specific, detailed proposals concerning a situation that is rapidly changing and unfortunately, rapidly deteriorating, but should rather preserve his, and our country's, options, to retrieve our national honor as soon as this long national nightmare is over.

In other words, the Democrats should get to throw grenades at the President's plan without having to offer any real alternatives. Vote for Kerry! Take Door #3! The Lovely Carol Merrill will show you what you've elected!

How dare the incompetent and willful members of this Bush/Cheney administration humiliate our nation and our people in the eyes of the world and in the conscience of our own people. How dare they subject us to such dishonor and disgrace.

Honestly. When my husband and I saw this we just burst out laughing and looked at each other in amazement. Because, of course, this is Clinton's Vice President discussing dishonor and disgrace. And all we could think about was Clinton in the Oval Office, discussing troop deployments while getting a blowjob. American lives were, to him, just part of the high of abusing the highest office in the land for cheap thrills. Talk about dishonor.

Gore didn't just look bad in terms of the silly things he had to say: he also really looked bad. I mean, he wasn't that bad a specimen in his psuedo-hippie days, but isn't he getting a little fat in his embittered middle age? I'm just asking . . .

But there's this, and it's serious:

He has exposed Americans abroad and Americans in every U.S. town and city to a greater danger of attack by terrorists because of his arrogance, willfulness and bungling at stirring up hornet's nests that pose no threat whatsoever to us . . . . It's not the central front in the war on terror, but it has unfortunately become the central recruiting office for terrorists.

And that is the part that isn't funny. Because what Algore is trying to do here is prepare us for another terrorist attack. And program us to receive this news, when it occurs--for it almost certainly will--as something that is Bush's fault. We are to accept any terrorism over this long, hot, event-filled summer not as evidence of a flaw in our defenses, but as something provoked by the behavior of the President. Gore wants us to blame George W. Bush for the next attack, just as his political allies blamed Bush for 9/11--against all reason.

There are some in the Democratic Party that hope more dead American bodies will pave their path to the White House.

They are hoping al Qaeda will succeed this summer.

It is disgusting, and egregious. And it brings a new definition to dishonor.

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May 25, 2004

Roe v. Wade

I hate to link back to another blogger in two consecutive posts, but it's going to happen on occasion, especially with people like Dean Esmay and James Joyner.

This time it's Dean, who's written an especially thoughtful entry on abortion. I think that most of us can agree that the Roe v. Wade case was especially destructive to the national psyche, in that it was not a thoughtful decision legally--and that it Federalized something that should have been left to the states. It exacerbated tensions on the matter, and has kept the wound festering for forty years.

Official bias statement: I'll stipulate that I'm pro-choice, except in the case of partial-birth abortions, which I would prefer to allow only if the woman's life is in jeopardy. (I'd love to leave the language "life and health" intact, but health is often interpreted very loosely. [That is, sometimes it's taken to mean the woman's fertility. Others, it's taken to mean "mental health," which in practice equals "if she'll be upset by a live birth in any way, she gets to kill the baby."])

Dean discussses the gender gap on the issue, which falls contrary to where stereotypes place it: more women are pro-life than men. This has often been atrributed to various factors: 1) men are more likely to be interested in "no strings" sex (I'm unconvinced that this is the case WRT women in their teens and early 20s); 2) women carry children, and this experience (or even sometimes its potential) is more likely to give women a certain reverence for nascent life; 3) older women will sometimes get married, get pregnant, look at the ultrasound pictures, and have a "holy fucking shit!" moment. That is: "if it's a baby this time around, what was it that first time?" Answer: a baby.

I have something to say about each side, here. First, I'll look at something I see among some pro-lifers. I'm always confused--and perhaps even taken aback--by those who say that they are adamantly pro-life, but favor exceptions for rape victims. If your position is that the rights of the fetus should be respected, how is it different for a fetus that was conceived during a violent act? He or she can hardly be held responsible for that. To me, this position appears to represent the point of view that pregnancy is a punishment for sex. Since the woman isn't responsible for the sex act, she shouldn't have to endure the "punishment" for it. If that's your position, fine. But please acknowledge it for what it is. And admit that you only want to protect some unborn children, and not others. I don't think it's a position without merits, but it has an intrinsic contradiction, and there's a faintly sex-negative smell to it.

I also want to say a word to the pro-abortion people. One of the concerns that the anti-abortion people have is that the word "choice" is used a lot by those who would give young women no choice at all. That is, "I want my daughter to have a 'choice,' so I can pressure her into getting an abortion." Or: "I want my girlfriend to have a 'choice,' so I can threaten her with awful consequences if she doesn't terminate the pregnancy." After all, the debate over counseling usually comes down to neither side trusting the other to counsel young girls in a truly neutral way.

There is a tendancy for the "adults" around a young woman to go into histrionics at the idea that she might experience nausea that could affect her GPA. Or that she could have a rough trimester and have to take a term or two off from school. There is such a concern about the slightest delay in her getting that all-important education.

Say what?

I live in the richest country in the world. I belong to a gender that out-lives the other by years and years. If there is one thing we should have time and money for, it's having babies. (And, believe me--if you're young and pregnant, there are Christian groups [Catholic and Protestant] that will help you with prenatal care and the other costs you incur by carrying this baby to term.)

Graduate a little later. Have the kid, and have it placed. Years later, if you can't have children because you waited too long, you'll feel better asking young women to let you raise the kids they bear.

Trust me on this.

There's also that "selective sentimentality" thing, wherein young women are encouraged to feel so sentimental toward the little lives inside them that they can't possibly "give them up for adoption." But they can kill them. The most loving thing you can do when you haven't yet finished your education is to allow someone who has to raise that baby in a good environment.

What if we were to take the words "safe, legal and rare" seriously? What if we really tried to make that a reality, and stopped pressuring women and girls into having this procedure?

I think we'd be better off. I really do.

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May 24, 2004

News Sourcing

If you have a blog--and you discuss news at all--take a moment to go over and sign the Blog Sourcing Petition. This is a way that the blogging community can demonstrate that it's serious about sourcing news. I really feel that it's up to us (in a David-and-Goliath sort of way) to show mainstream media how things ought to be done. They are losing their audience and readership to us: let's show them why.

If another blogger breaks the news--or begins the meme--you link back to that blogger. It's the smart thing to do, and it's the right thing to do.

(I just found this on my own, you know. I didn't get the idea from Dean Esmay or anyone like that.)

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The Sopranos

There's no way to talk about it without discussing the plot points. If you're following the show and didn't watch last night--but plan to see it later in the week--don't click on the extended entry.

Last night's episode, number 64, is entitled "Long-Term Parking." There are at least three meanings: collect 'em all.

Oh, and Kelly also took a crack at this show. We're all so shook up, doncha know. more...

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Intel Dump Dumps Blogspot

The Westside's* own Phil Carter has moved his blog. Update your blogrolls.

Via James.

*Not in New York, silly. LA. Specifically, Santa Monica IIRC.

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May 23, 2004

Absinthe: It's What's for Dinner

Via Desert Cat, we find this means of attaining real absinth*, which is apparently legal in the U.S. if it is only for individual consumption and not for re-sale.

Ith must be a happy girl indeed. I wonder if she is sometimes tempted to simply drink milk . . . after all, it isn't easy to get the good stuff.

* Eastern European spelling.

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May 21, 2004

Clean Money

I'm in negotiations for a possible long-term project--and things are going pretty well, though I have to remind myself that the person I've been dealing with isn't the real decision-maker. Let's say I seem to have gotten over the moat, but still have to scale the castle walls.

Meanwhile, I'm working this week. Another book manuscript, and my first time reading erotica. I mean, reading it for money.

I also met with my friend the sales expert, whom I finally allowed to look at my resume. She pointed out that I've been finding ways to short-change myself in describing my qualifications--such as using the word "some" next to parts of my job descriptions ("some writing for various magazines put out by Blankity-Blank publishing company"). It's the Anglo-Saxon in my soul, and it's got to stop.

It takes a big editor to admit she can't edit her own work.

Okay, it takes an editor who's five-foot, one and a half inches tall. Don't forget that half inch--we dwarves are sensitive about these things.

Yeah, I'm giddy. Probably because things are looking up. And it's been a long drought.

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May 20, 2004

Cannes It

My thanks to Mikal for tipping me off; please go to his site and check out all the obscure and outrageous books he's offering today.

Isn't it nice to have Rachel Lucas back? Things weren't the same without her.

FATASS-TARGET-thumb.jpg

Apparently Rachel had the idea, and LagMonkey executed it. Now we need to get them printed professionally; as Rachel points out, it would be just like printing money.

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Talk about the Man in the Moon

. . . Andy Kaufman's back. Alive. And more obnoxious than ever. He has a blog. Of course.

Via Kelley.

UPDATE: Guess not. I swear, I'm so damned gullible at three in the morning. You know how it is in the middle of the night: You want to believe in something. Anything.

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May 19, 2004

Best. Post. Ever. (as they say)

Kate of Small Dead Animals finally lets the cat out of the bag. Here are a few of the money quotes (I've Dowdified it for those who are in a hurry):

Over at the Shotgun, Laura is frightened.

"This is scary shit. The prison abuses are scary shit. All of the lies are scary shit."

Well, Laura, you found us out. I confess... there is a Vast Right Wing Conspiracy and nobody noticed until now. I know this is true, because, well . . . I'm in it.

There never were any weapons of mass destruction. None. Anywhere. We knew that all along - there never was a Halabja. It was filmed in a remote part of Texas hill country. Mexican illegals, playing dead for the camera.

We murdered Vince Foster, just to watch him die. And so we could blame Hillary.

Udday was gunned down by the capitalist forces of globalization. His hands were in the air, his fingers pleading - "Peace". He knew the cure for cancer, so they couldn't let him live. There were panties on his head.

Nick Berg is on a secret tropical island, with his Helliburton pension, golfing with Jack Kennedy and sharing peanut butter and bacon sandwiches with Elvis. Yucking it up with Danny Pearl. There's a greenish glass jar in the entertainment center, beside the big screen TV. Inside, a Roswell alien floats gently, gently, upside down. A pallid little creature bobbing in a lava lamp. Some sick bastard has slapped a decal on it; "Don't Mess With Texas."

"Don't Mess With Texas," Laura.

There are alligators in the sewers of New York. I once had a friend who knew someone who had a Doberman who choked on the finger of a burglar. In the fifties there was a engine that got 200 miles to the gallon but Big Oil stole the plans and murdered the inventor. The drug companies created AIDS through genetic engineering to kill the gays. Ronald Reagan told them to. The WTC towers were taken out by Israeli missiles, there never was a Holocaust and the JEWS RULE THE WORLD!!!

So, Laura, there you have it. You're free to go. You've got the truth now - spread the word. Proclaim it far and wide. Write your newspaper. Nobody will believe you, because...

We're a vast right wing conspiracy.

And we own the media.

Be afraid; be very afraid. And go read the whole thing; it's mandatory.

Via James.

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No Honor Here

Venomous Kate discusses a practice that makes me see red, every time:

Even so, “honor killings” are believed to be on the rise in Turkey as rural Kurds immigrate to the cities where their daughters, previously sheltered from objectionable lifestyles, are now exposed to situations which their parents believe justify their deaths. As recently as May 1, a 14-year-old girl was buried after her father strangled her with a wire, his idea of expiating the “dishonor” brought to his family when his daughter was kidnapped and raped. (The girl’s father, brother and uncle - who committed the murder at the behest of a family council - have been charged with her death and were released pending their trial.)

The increase in honor killings isn’t limited to the Middle East. In Rochester, New York last month, a Turkish immigrant was charged with killing his wife and fracturing the skulls of his 4- and 22-year-old daughters in an “honor killing” after learning that his own brother had molested his wife and oldest child. He has pled not guilty, explaining to investigators that it was an “honor killing.”

Slow as it is, progress is still occuring. PakistanÂ’s President Musharraf has called for a ban on honor killings, despite the practice being outlawed already. Hundreds of such murders are believed to occur in Pakistan each year.

But the tide may be turning, as not only the Pakistani ban but similar legislation in Jordan seems to indicate. Much of it is due to women who are willing to speak out and demand an end to this ancient form of victimization. Recently, a woman known only as Souad published what is believed to be the first book by a survivor of a failed honor killing. The book, Burned Alive: A Victim of the Law of Men, is receiving worldwide attention from human rights groups due to its powerful look into a practice so poorly documented in the press.

What knocks me out about this is the fact that in the Middle Eastern tradition rape brings dishonor to a family--so that rape victims are often killed by their own fathers and brothers (and sometimes mothers). It's hard to even wrap my mind around that concept.

It makes me want to go there and start handing out Beretta Tomcats to the entire female population, but I'm afraid the solutions will be more complicated. And it'll take a lot of time to educate people and change the laws. Change those fucking laws.

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Tony Randall

I was oddly saddened and startled by Tony Randall's death. I guess I sort of thought he would go on forever, like he always had.

What a great guy--and, BTW, a great exploder of stereotypes about straight men.

R.I.P.

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Right.

Whatev.

Believe exactly what you want to believe.

Via Kelley.

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May 18, 2004

Arrests in Nick Berg case

Four people were arrested as suspects in the murder of Nick Berg. We don't know whether they were the four guys shown in the video alongside Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, though I'll bet they are. Al-Zarqawi himself remains at large.

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More on Video Enhancement

Yeah, I know: a few of you are sick of the Nick Berg issue. But murder is one of the things I've studied, so this case is going to hold an enduring fascination for me.

Dorkafork points me to this article, which discusses (briefly) the analysis the video is being subjected to. I get the impression from the story that the FBI is simply using the version off the web, and does not have access to the original, though in the digital age that probably makes a lot less difference. Dorkafork has been complaining about the quality all along, but I suspect the original is just as bad as what we've been viewing. Still, it might make a difference in terms of things like blowing up the images of the perps' hands to check for distinguishing characteristics.

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