. . . Goldstein is on the case.

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. . . a very bad boy.

Bad. Bad!

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Debbye has a terrific post up about the importance of fathers in the lives of boys. Fathers are equally important to girls, of course.

The specifics of the lessons could vary from generation to generation, of course (that is, we could argue all day long about whether it's a dad's duty to teach his boy how to fight). But the man's presence is paramount, and his abillity to convey an ethical code is absolutely critical.

And the woman in this situation needs to reject the fashion of belittling men and convey her respect for (and unity with) the man of the house. Likewise, of course, he needs to back up her decisions when she's taking the lead.

I know everyone's going to get mad at me, but I'm not trying to be PC, here. I'm trying to come up with a model of what might actually work. You know: in real life.

Posted by: Attila at 11:25 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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So much of life isn't what we're told it is when we're young. Professor Purkinje talked a lot about this when he and his wife were coping with infertility: "they said science was hard, but getting a girl pregnant was really, really easy. It turns out that science is relatively easy, but getting my wife pregnant is next to impossible."

It's so easy to slip into the completely sexist mindset of thinking infertility is more painful for the woman. But it can be just as devastating to the man involved. I'm involved in an "infertility and adoption" group through my church, and I was talking to a guy about my regrets that I had had an abortion at the age of 20. Of course, it turns out he's going through the same thing: one of his girlfriends had an abortion when he was in college. It's especially painful for those of us who desperately want kids to contemplate the fact that we could have produced them at one time, but destroyed them instead.

"I had so much family support. I could have raised the child. But at the time no one thought about it: abortion was just what you did."

"I wasn't ready to raise anyone," I insist. "I just wanted to make an adoption plan. I was with So-and-so, however, who was very controlling: adopted himself, he nonetheless couldn't stand the idea that there was a child of 'his' out there."

"Has he ever tried to make contact with his own birthmother?"

"No."

"Would he have signed the paperwork for adoption if you'd refused the abortion?"

This caught me short. I've been berating myself for over 20 years for not standing up to this guy and having the baby. But perhaps he would have insisted that we keep the child and try to raise it. And he was twisted: a practicing alcoholic at the time. I wasn't any better. And my relationship with my mother was so stormy she didn't even know I'd been pregnant until it was all over. I'll never know what would have happened if I'd shown more backbone.

Fathers have rights, and it's a good thing, too. And the knee-jerk rush toward abortion as the only solution to the problem of unplanned pregnancies is a tragedy for men and women.

Girls should grow up with good men as fathers. In the same house with them. That way, they will recognize true strength when they see it, rather than mistaking stubbornness for real masculinity. They'll be a lot less likely to "fall in love" with someone merely because they appear smart.

Evaluating a potential spouse's character is one of the most important things we'll do as adults, and we need good parents to do it.

That's all I know right now: don't have sex with people you can't trust. And most certainly don't move in with them.

(I picture young people around the world linking this entry and poring over every word, because they are so well-known for seeking out advice from their elders. I also believe in the Great Pumpkin, by the way.)

I don't care if you're liberal or conservative, athiest or a member of some faith. There are alternatives to the wholesale taking of human life we engage in. We need to make more use of them. Please think it over.

Posted by: Attila at 10:21 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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1 And most certainly don't move in with them. Oh hear, hear! I didn't know you had been through an abortion. Thanks for sharing that experience. That took guts.

Posted by: ilyka at June 27, 2005 06:16 AM (PSav6)

2 Thank you. Just sharin' what's on my mind.

Posted by: Attila Girl at June 27, 2005 08:20 AM (RGWNz)

3 I also believe in the Great Pumpkin, by the way Belief takes a lot of courage in today's world. This was a beautiful post, and well worth the making if it makes even one person stop and think. You can't transplant experience, and you certainly can't go back and change history. I, too, have things I regret in my past. I think we all do, to some extent. But I believe things happen for a reason, no matter how much pain they cause. For what it's worth, I wish you joy You have so much to give.

Posted by: Cassandra at June 28, 2005 04:42 PM (eKdAq)

4 You're very sweet. I think/hope we'll be good parents. I only hope that in the future girls can think about this from all possible angles--not just the one that says, "it's my body, and I'll do what I want." To which I reply: Well, of course it's your body. And of course you'll do what you want. But be careful, or you might find yourself with some regrets.

Posted by: Attila Girl at June 28, 2005 04:55 PM (RGWNz)

5 I know you will be a wonderful mother - I can tell from your writing. I can remember being about 18 and seeing Isaac Asimov speak at Hampton Roads. He said something that really made me angry at the time (I was something of a liberal) but it stuck with me and made me think. He said that birth control should be the woman's responsibility. Not because that was fair. But because if she got pregnant, it was her life, more than anyone else's, that would be affected, either way. Even if she couldn't foresee the consequences at the time. And all the technology in the world couldn't make men and women equal in that regard or change that one basic, biological fact. It was, he said, something women ignore at their peril and something the sexual revolution and women's lib had overlooked, to the disservice of young women. Very thought-provoking and very true. I didn't like it at the time, but I couldn't argue with the basic truth of it, either, and I believe Asimov was a liberal as well. But a realistic one.

Posted by: Cassandra at June 29, 2005 03:05 AM (eKdAq)

6 We do happen to be the sex that gets pregnant. And getting mad won't make that go away; it's just the truth.

Posted by: Attila Girl at June 29, 2005 06:29 AM (RGWNz)

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Friday I went to see the social worker with our "adoption profile" in tow. Seeing her always reminds me anew how deep and dark my problem with authority figures truly is. When we had the home visit I managed not to freak out, but I was being asked for paperwork when I'd already cleared away all my clutter so the house would look neat. I did feel at times like I was close to tears.

Now I feel all those same things, but they don't get as close to the surface, post-prozac: I can maintain a little bit better. And I needed to on Friday.

The adoption "profile," at our agency, consists of two different things. First, there's a resume, which is silly information about age, religion and ethnicity, along with a photo (which renders some of the info listed below rather redundant: after all, can't the average birthmother look at the photo and figure out that we're white, and what color our eyes and hair are?). On the flip side of this sheet, in the same plastic protector, is a "dear birthmother" lettter, in which we talk about ourselves and our approach to parenting.

The second part of the profile is a photo album, and I was rather pleased with mine. I have a magazine background, so the layouts were clean, and my use of color was good. On the cover was a beautiful, artistic portrait done by Scanman in our backyard: Attila the Hub and are holding a tangerine out toward the camera, our eyes wide and knowing. It was a hip photo, beautifully composed, and my hand—along with the tangerine—was distorted because it was so close to the lens. The tangerine also lent it such a strong splash of color that I put this picture against a yellow background, and then constructed the "spine" of the notebook/album out of orange construction paper. On the back cover is more yellow background and a small, goofy picture of us eating home-grilled burgers and ears of corn on one of our anniversaries, with a little note: "thank you for looking at our profile." No one else does this on their profile albums, and Attila Hub compared it with those movies that have a small scenelet right after the closing credits, as if to thank people for sitting through them.

The social worker didn't like the front picture at all. "But it's art," I wanted to protest.

"You're not even smiling," she replied. I mentally stomped my little feet.

She got out a few other albums from her shelves. "This is what you're up against," she asserted, and then added quickly, "not that it's a competition."

"But it is," I acknowledged. And I looked through the other albums. They were very warm and reassuring. People smiled a lot. But the shots were ill-composed and the use of color was dreadful. Design elements were thrown around like so much confetti.

I was being told we might not get a child because we weren't Philistine enough.

Next she deconstructed the portrait of us that I'd used for the resume page (the flip side of the "dear birthmother" letter). Now I hadn't liked the way my hair looked in that shot, but Scanman and his office manager felt that the devoted way I looked into Attila the Hub's eyes said something about the relationship (probably that I'm terribly codependent). Scanmaster also insisted that Attila Hub looked younger in that particular frame, and that was important for adopting. (In retrospect, I think this might have more to do with Scanmaster's anxieties about fatherhood than the birthmother's, but we'll let that one pass. The fact is, Attila-Hub is, technically, on the far side of fifty despite his dashing good looks and even-steven blood pressure.)

No, no, insisted the social worker, who is a very nice person despite the fact that her job is to ride herd on me and push all my buttons. You both need to be facing the camera, and you both need big smiles. After all, a lot of the birthmothers see this one sheet first: we show them the resume before they see the album. If that single photo is appealing enough, some of them make their minds up just from looking at that.

I faced her and gave her a big smile. But my heart wasn't in it.

Meanwhile, she was scouring our album for more signs of my husband's teeth. "How come when he smiles we don't see his teeth enough?" she asked. It had never occurred to me that there was a correct number of my husband's teeth I should be seeing when he smiles. She turned to the trainee next to her and remarked that "Attila Hub has a marvelous, dry sense of humor."

I want to ask whether it would still be dry if he broke out into hail-fellow-well-met smiles all over the place, but I just folded my hands in my lap and tried to look obedient, and like I was hanging on her every word. And like I didn't think that the process of adoption—all things considered—sucks big donkey dicks.

In point of fact, she was probably right about all of this. But the life of a visual snob is hard and lonely, at least if you let on what you're thinking half the time.

If I had a blackboard here at home, I'd write on it : "I will not be arty, I will not be arty, I will not be arty."

And I guess I'll go look for more pictures of people—my husband in particular—showing teeth.

I can't go on; I'll go on.

Posted by: Attila at 12:41 AM | Comments (20) | Add Comment
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1 Rule number 1 of actress/model headshots/portfolios - if they aren't showing their teeth it's because something is wrong with them. You aren't trying to impress the arty crowd. Some people would distrust you simply because you are in that crowd.... (How many people know Jimmy Carter was a nuclear engineer before he was peanut farmer?) Best of Luck

Posted by: Zendo Deb at June 25, 2005 05:50 AM (S417T)

2 I think parenting takes more true courage than any other human endeavor. So if what they're doing is putting that to the test, you are passing with flying colors. Because, as anyone can see, you are extraordinarily brave.

Posted by: k at June 25, 2005 07:09 AM (ywZa8)

3 Well, Zendo--no one could accuse Carter of not showing enough teeth! The irony is that Attila Hub has a much nicer smile than I do: his teeth are straight and pretty white. Mine are slightly "bucky," and my smile just shows too much gum. Also, my teeth are chronically tea-stained. K--believe me, I'm scared to death. But I'm being pushed by someone who insists, gently, that procrastination is not my friend.

Posted by: Attila Girl at June 25, 2005 11:17 AM (RGWNz)

4 Great Godot reference! Did she ask you to add in a few spelling and grammar mistakes to make you seem more 'approachable' too? You definitely get bonus points for restraint. Good luck. Paul

Posted by: Light & Dark at June 25, 2005 01:30 PM (+Ds2b)

5 Good luck, Atilla. Being an adoptee, I say go for what you think is best. I have met my birth mother and, if she had the option of looking through photo albums to choose the family, I am pretty sure she would have loved the album you described over other, more Ho-Hum ones. (She's into scrapbooking.) Trust what's in your heart... or gut, as the case may be. Again, best of luck. Steven

Posted by: Steven at June 25, 2005 02:35 PM (L5hEs)

6 I do think it's wonderful that the young ladies (and sometimes middle-aged women) who make adoption plans for their children are treated with respect and allowed to steer the process. I know it wasn't always so in the past. They are making such a huge sacrifice that I can't begrudge them the opportunity to pick. (They are also allowed to keep the album, and it's customary to send them annual letters and pictures. Some have yearly visits with their adoptive family.) My social worker also tells me that the matches made by the birthmothers go more slowly than if social workers still got to make the determination--but that the matches are generally so right, it's spooky.

Posted by: Attila Girl at June 25, 2005 04:12 PM (RGWNz)

7 Thanks for sharing this personal story. I found myself holding my breath as I read. We have three wonderful adopted nieces/nephew and so look forward to following you on your journey and celebrating when the new member of your family does arrive. And they will. In the meantime, we'll be praying for you. Hang in there.

Posted by: Charmaine Yoest at June 25, 2005 07:33 PM (abYX5)

8 I'm trying to be teachable, here. After all, these people know the "market." And, strictly speaking, she's only insisting that I replace two pictures.

Posted by: Attila Girl at June 25, 2005 11:34 PM (RGWNz)

9 Funny thing about courage: If you aren't scared, you're not being brave.

Posted by: k at June 26, 2005 05:37 AM (ywZa8)

10 I think you should keep your album like it is...okay maybe add a nice toothy picture but the person who is making the most important decision in your life will be the person who loves who you portray yourself as. I think trying to confirm to a cookie cutter album will do a disservice to the birth mom and to you... Good luck!

Posted by: jody at June 26, 2005 08:48 AM (ByVKO)

11 Oooh. I was furious about that for, like, two years. "We're OVER-QUALIFIED! And young women can go out and have babies without going over ANY HURDLES AT ALL!" Which isn't true, either, but of course I was aggreived by THE UNFAIRNESS OF LIFE! Never mind that it isn't fair for anyone. It wasn't being "fair" to ME! You know what?--Fair is an event you go to in the late summer or early fall to eat ice cream and see who won the blue ribbon for best corn bread.

Posted by: Attila Girl at June 26, 2005 10:54 PM (RGWNz)

12 I do. I make the best corn bread. The BEST. Even if it is Jiffy Corn Muffin mix, gussied up. I could do exactly the same from scratch. It's not just the substituting buttermilk. There's also a little cooking trick most everyone ought to know but don't seem to. It's so light and fluffy it almost lifts itself off the plate. How often can you describe corn bread as "light" or "delicate?" And gooooood, good, good! SO tasty. It's so dainty we can only use whipped butter on top, because regular butter isn't airy enough. It clashes. My point? Maybe you should do an American Gothic photo. But substituting teeth for the Grim Visages. See, it used to be fashionable to show you took life and your responsibilities quite seriously. That's why they didn't smile much in those old photos and paintings. But we must strike a new balance these days. Expressing responsibility no longer cuts it! (According to your social worker.) So: instead of a pitchforK? A nice nurturing mother-&-father-ly plate of cornbread! So light, it almost flies off the plate! And big toothy smiles with which to eat it!

Posted by: ksquest at June 27, 2005 12:42 PM (M7kiy)

13 Great idea. I should think about posting a few of the pix that are actually digital. And there is that small pic of us on the back cover, eating corn on the cob. BTW, I love to make cornbread muffins. But I like to add blueberries, and this often has the effect of making the muffins green. They look terrible, but taste great.

Posted by: Attila Girl at June 27, 2005 06:38 PM (RGWNz)

14 Are you making duplicates? One for yourself, at least? Maybe you could post a digital copy of the whole book. I think we'd all really love to see it. And who knows? - maybe the right birth mother - the one who actually values art over teeth - will see it and say, Finally, finally, a match for me. Surely there's more people out there than the adoption office serves. And oh, lord, those blueberry corn muffins sound delicious! And cute, too, plenty enough. I don't care what food looks like, I want great flavor and smell and texture. (Green Muffins and Ham, Sam i am?) HMMM! which reminds me of certain very yummy-but-ugly mangoes. If you're eating corn on the cob, that's not enough teeth for Social Worker? Your blog always makes me hungry. Luckily, I just pulled a batch of the infamous Sin Rolls out of the oven. Soon my 4 loaves of bread will go in. My whole house smells like yeast and cinnamon. And I kneaded each batch, one right after the other, as usual, except - standing up. Not sitting on my high chair, my bread kneading chair. I stood up on my own two feet the entire time. And breathed really, really deep. It's working.

Posted by: k at June 28, 2005 07:22 AM (M7kiy)

15 The agency wants four copies of the book. We're going to make a fifth copy for family and friends. You may get a copy of it with a note to pass it along to so-and-so at thus-and-such an address in Northern California or Illinois.

Posted by: Attila Girl at June 28, 2005 12:51 PM (RGWNz)

16 Oh, goody! And snail mail! I love snail mail. It's so...retro. And it keeps old co-workers in business.

Posted by: k at June 29, 2005 02:47 AM (6krEN)

17 We mailed some mail at the Skokie post office while we were out there! It was very fulfilling.

Posted by: Attila Girl at June 29, 2005 06:36 AM (RGWNz)

18 Oh, that's wonderful! I just KNEW you'd stop by there. Did you go inside for a behind-the-scenes tour?

Posted by: k at June 29, 2005 12:11 PM (6krEN)

19 No, but we stopped by cousin Jim G's house, and I heard many, many stories about what it was like in the old days. Of course, Attila Hub had already told me a handful of these vignettes, but his cousin was the mother lode of post office anecdotes. Sounds like a bunch of people with too much brainpower, and too much time on their hands . . .!

Posted by: Attila Girl at June 29, 2005 12:25 PM (RGWNz)

20 Ha! That's it in a nutshell. Well...not always too much time on their hands. They actually worked hard. (Attila Hub likely disagrees.) Part of the cut-ups were to relieve the pressure of working so hard, right? But they hire based on tests, so there are a lot of very smart, and very educated, people working there. Anecdotes from that gritty behind-the-scenes perspective was a lot of why I signed up. Plus, the physical labor, of course. And neat equipment to ride around in, and to drive. And tip over. ahhh, back in the day...

Posted by: k at June 30, 2005 04:07 AM (ywZa8)

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Nice. We protect the privacy of Iraqi women by having female soldiers and Marines search them, and now a group of predominantly female Marines was taken out by AQ bombers. The highest female casualty rate in the entire war.

And this after the women in charge of searching women and girls requested teddy bears for the young ones passing through the checkpoints. Of course, this from guys who behead those they kidnap—male or female.

And all of their most egregious strikes are calculated to get Americans to overreact.

Still: I want these guys dead, and then I want to piss on their graves. From a squatting position.

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1 Of course. (Why do I find that last part vaguely stimulating?)

Posted by: Desert Cat at June 24, 2005 11:59 PM (xdX36)

2 I figured--with all due respect--that some sick bastard would Love you!

Posted by: Attila Girl at June 25, 2005 11:05 AM (RGWNz)

3 *Snrk!* Heh! Outed...

Posted by: Desert Cat at June 25, 2005 09:34 PM (xdX36)

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Strata has a roundup of recent "eminent domain" abuses.

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on the history of stewardesses in WWII over here at the United Airlines web site.

The fact that many stewardesses were nurses reminded me of my late mother-in-law, whom I never met (though I like to think she's present in our lives in some sense; I pretend she takes my side in family arguments, since my own mother tends to side with Attila the Hub). She served all over the world as a nurse in WWII, after having attended nursing school in London during the blitz. This included at least one very close scrape, and the experience left its mark on her—as it would on anyone.

She was a great Irish woman, and (later) a great American. She's been a grandmother several times over, and will be one anew sometime soon.

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Apparently, only 4 1/2 of the Supreme Court Justices are smoking crack.

UPDATE: Hubris has discovered that eminent domain gives him a right to tear a testicle out of the Supreme Court Justice of his choice. (Or an ovary, in the case of Ginsberg and O'Conner.)

Can someone name me one item in the Bill of Rights that hasn't been mutilated by John McCain, the gun grabbers, or the Supreme Court? Thought not.

UPDATE 2: Goldstein has commentary, and the key to the roundup kingdoms.

UPDATE 3: Reynolds has a few entries on this, of course. Here's one with a few links on it, but you might also want to scroll his main page.

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We have to buy a new car soon, and our passionate love affair with Saturn has come to a screaming halt (long story, but it did us wrong).

The new car will most likely "belong" to my husband for a year or two, after which I'll adopt it as my daily drive.

V-6: probably not; we're getting stingy with gasoline in our old age, and the House of Saud doesn't need my money.

Manual transmission: I'll probably have to sacrifice this. We're between two model years, so if we want to cut a good deal we need to buy what's in stock from the 2005s. I'm inflexible on the sunroof and a decent sound system, but I think I can survive an automatic. That way I'll have a free hand for slapping Junior/Juniorette when he/she misbehaves. (Can't you guys take a fucking joke? Sheesh.)

And it's not that I don't love cars. I do. But until I get rich and can afford to tool around town in a '68 Mustang convertible, I just don't care much what sort of econo-box I drive. If it gets me to the Bay Area every few months, I'm a happy girl.

Bottom line: we're almost certainly going to get either a Honda Accord or a Toyota Camry. And I'll probably end up driving it well into its dotage, as I'm now doing with my old Saturn SL.

Your thoughts?

Posted by: Attila at 10:56 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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1 Between a Camry and an Accord I'd take the Camry every day of the week. But, I just bought my wife a Nissan Altima and she and I both love it. It's fun to drive and gets 29 mpg on the highway.

Posted by: Chris Short at June 23, 2005 05:40 AM (0OCQY)

2 Venezuela doesn't need your money either. Well, they might, but until they de-unionize a bit and get a reasonable market economy going... but I digress...

Posted by: Ciggy at June 23, 2005 08:08 AM (Sy2Fl)

3 Both are great cars. From Toyota my mum had a Previa van from 91 and she just sold it a month or so ago with well over 250,000 miles no major problems at all. She also had a Carrolla from the early 80's that handled 200,000+ miles no problem major problems either. I have a Honda Civic from 95 and its been across the country twice and all over california for 100,000+ miles with only routine mantainance (did have to replace the O2 & MAP sensor for the emission system and fix a radiator crack) its been great. Ether car wll be quite fine just take the best deal for what you want. As far as smaking the kids while driving......just put a fly swatter in the car. Or you could just tap the breaks.

Posted by: the Pirate at June 23, 2005 08:53 AM (SksyN)

4 Sorry, can't do either of the imports. I support the Pontiac Sunfire - a good friend has one at this time with about 125,000 miles on it. Four cylinders, zippy and sporty but still a "compact sedan" for insurance purposes. Good brakes and she has only had to do oil, brakes (40K miles), and coolant since she got it. She bought used at 40K miles. Cheaper than the other two, parts are plentiful and cheaper by far. Good mileage (she gets about 28/35 Hwy). I drove a couple Pontiacs for years; a Grand Prix that was sold at 110,000 and a Grand Am that died at 140,000 hard miles after a tire slasher/vandal hit our neighborhood - it wasn't worth the 1200 to fix her up since I will be out to the sandbox in September. Anyhow, good luck with the car - SGT Dave, Ft. Leavenworth, KS

Posted by: Dave at June 24, 2005 05:40 AM (jPvjS)

5 Dave, thanks for your service to our country. We'll look into the Sunfire.

Posted by: Attila Girl at June 24, 2005 12:11 PM (8e5bN)

6 Attila, We just bought our first Honda Accord EX a few months ago. Matter of fact we got it fully loaded, with the touchscreen nav and XM radio. Yes, it's addictive. The only complaint is that the buttons on the steering wheel don't light up at night. Most important is that we got the 4cyl V-Tec engine. EXs typically come with a V-6, but we couldn't tell the difference. The V-Tec has the same power and pick-up, with better gas to boot. Go Honda! The Camry is not doing well right now. If you go Toyota, look at their new Scion TC. That car comes loaded but it's more affordable.

Posted by: El Capitan at June 24, 2005 12:22 PM (hF6uM)

7 We've had two Camry's in recent years and have been very happy with them. Though these were both older cars (the one we have now is 1990), the ongoing total cost of ownership has been quite reasonable. I do not subscribe to the idea of buying new cars. Ever. I can't see throwing away that much money in the first year's depreciation. Even as a car gets older, if you bought it carefully enough in the first place, the cost of ongoing repairs is almost always substantially lower than what payments would be for a new (or newer) car. To me a car is a tool with a utilitarian purpose. Flashy snazzy next-year's-model-new is a pure luxury that I just can't see the sense of paying for.

Posted by: Desert Cat at June 24, 2005 05:31 PM (n/TmV)

8 Well, in general I agree with you. But my husband and I are both independent contractors, so we do get to write off the interest if we finance. My father's never bought a new car in his life. I bought one once, and I think I'm done for the reasons you stated. However, I believe my husband should have anything he wants. If he wants a new car, then that's what he should have.

Posted by: Attila Girl at June 24, 2005 11:13 PM (RGWNz)

9 True, but it's only a deduction, not a tax credit. That is to say, whatever you pay in interest only reduces your taxes by whatever percentage your marginal tax bracket happens to be. Which means that at least 3/4 of the net expense (or more) is still on your dime. But if you have other reasons, well... (who am I to argue with a woman who wants to give her husband whatever he wants? Could I have you talk to Daisycat?)

Posted by: Desert Cat at June 25, 2005 12:07 AM (xdX36)

10 The rule is, "what you want, when you want it, and how you want it. Unless I disagree."

Posted by: Attila Girl at June 26, 2005 12:44 AM (RGWNz)

11 We loved our Camry--no real problems. My wife now has an Avalon and loves it. I have an Echo and it is great (and gets good mileage). We recommend Toyota; they last virtually forever.

Posted by: chuck at June 28, 2005 02:49 PM (UdnXf)

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Apparently, Pakistan.

Oh, how I love the smell of imperialistic American aggression in the morning!

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Froggy's got a brand-new tadpole, who appears to be skipping the "newborn" stage: he already looks like a strapping little boy.

Go take a peek, and congratulate him.

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1 Yeah, I thought he looked surprisingly un-squishy for a newborn.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at June 23, 2005 01:07 AM (RbYVY)

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Instead, I might stay home and burn the American Flag.

You know: because I still can.

For crying out loud. Do they have nothing better to do than deal with imaginary issues?

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. . . has apologized.

But only because the Joooooooooos made him. Damn the Jooooooos. And those whiny Cambodians, too. And those troublemakers in Russia and places like that.

Damn them all.

Posted by: Attila at 11:20 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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. . . is up. Please see the first three entries: "The Importance of Manners," "Luau at the Links," and "It's Time to Dance!"

(As usual, our carnival is in three parts, hosted by three vivacious bloggers, or available at the link above.)

Posted by: Attila at 03:57 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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experiences Tehran.

Via Beautiful Atrocities.

Posted by: Attila at 12:26 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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The Anchoress on Richard Durbin's remarks, and how few Democrats are saying anything about them:

If Hillary Clinton does not have the moral compass to know that this is a time to break ranks with her party and come down on Durbin for his remarks, then no matter how much she purports to support the troops, she can never be their CIC. If her instincts, in this matter, are not fine-tuned enough to know what to say and how to say it, then how will she ever get a clue as to how to serve our nation or win a war on terrorism? If Hillary Clinton simply tries to duck and fade (with the assistance of the press) then there is simply no way she is demonstrating the leadership abilities necessary to govern a nation.

Disappointing to see that Joe Lieberman and Chuch Schumer had nothing to say about DurbinÂ’s remarks, either.

Hubert Humphrey would NEVER have stood for DurbinÂ’s remarks. Nor would either Jack or Bobby Kennedy. Or Scoop Jackson. They would have been the first to jump on him and demand his absolute retraction of those statements, and they would likely have told him to resign his leadership position while he was at it.

I mean, if you recallÂ…Trent Lott resigned his leadership position for much, much less. He resigned because heÂ’d been over-exuberant, spilling into offensiveness, when he wished a 100 year old man a Happy Birthday. And he resigned because his own party, the GOP was embarrassed, and had the sense to tell him to resign.

The Democrats canÂ’t do it.

Read the whole thing.

Posted by: Attila at 08:35 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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A week or two ago, I finished America's Secret War, by George Friedman. It was a lovely book: insightful enough to be interesting, and wonky enough that I could use it to read myself to sleep with confidence. (The next day, I'd have to re-read the parts I'd read at night while the ambien was kicking in, but so what?)

Check it out.

Posted by: Attila at 11:56 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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And I'd forgotten it was Father's Day, because of yesterday's all-day workshop and the recent trip to Skokie. It's easy for me to get confused, too, because his birthday is so close.

And I missed my aunt's and my cousin's birthdays this month; it's been a hectic June.

Dad had sounded so stressed when he first called that I imagined something had happened to my grandmother, and was relieved to find out that this wasn't the case.

Well. I'll take him out to lunch a bit later in the month, and all will be better. But I hope my brother and half-sister were a bit more attentive than their flakey sister is.

No matter: I'm not going to get an A+ in every subject. As a matter of fact, my current area of concentration with respect to my parents is just being polite (you know: not snapping, not being irritable; really listening to them). Matter of fact, I'm working on that with everyone.

Dad? Sorry, man. I'm a work in progress.

It's circa 1979, and my dad and I are about to embark on a road trip. My father lives on the East Coast, so he flew out and borrowed one of his parents' cars. We've just spent half an hour listening to cautions from his parents, who forbid him to take it to Mexico, and emphasize over and over that he must be careful with the car.

As we pull away from their house in Whittier I ask why grandma and grandpa were so concerned.

"They think I'm 17 years old," he tells me.

"Why?" I ask, rhetorically. (In fact, I'm 17 at this point in time).

"Because I was until I was 42," he responds.

"So you're grown up now?"

"Yes. I'm grown up now."

I'll be 43 this summer, so it could just be that I'm lagging a bit behind the old man, developmentally speaking.

Posted by: Attila at 11:21 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Margi's pregnant. Very cool.

Via Ilyka.

Posted by: Attila at 10:57 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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