There's a fascinating book out by a woman named Norah Vincent, about her experience cross-living [dressing as a male, and taking on a male persona] for some months. It contains tremendous insight into some of the issues men cope with day after day.

Insty plucks out some of her observations on the heterosexual dating scene from "the other side," and receives e-mail from some tired veterans of the gender wars.

Male, female, gay, or straight—we've all just got to be nicer to each other.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 12:38 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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1 I haven't read anything but a few bloggers' comments, but the photo of said author as a man is totally asexual . . . What kind of woman would have found that attractive?

Posted by: Sissy Willis at January 20, 2006 08:00 AM (FU1id)

2 What kind of woman would have found that attractive? Dunno. Perhaps the ones who dig "metrosexuals"? also, we have to keep in mind that the events described in the book happened in LA. Ummm, that would be "Los Angeles", not "Lower Alabama". :-)

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at January 20, 2006 11:01 AM (1hM1d)

3 For many women, personality and brains really are paramount in terms of considering men as potential mates. So a wicked sense of humor would have drawn a lot of women to at least have dinner with this person, if not sleep with him (her). It also looks like she got some professional help--perhaps from some of the makeup artists who specialize in helping transsexuals.

Posted by: Attila Girl at January 20, 2006 11:40 AM (/y+/O)

4 For many women, personality and brains really are paramount in terms of considering men as potential mates. I had forgotten that looks ranked lower, maybe 5 or 6, depending on the woman involved. D'oh! I seem to have forgotten more about women that I ever knew.

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at January 20, 2006 02:50 PM (1hM1d)

5 at my age, it just ain't worth it to go through it all again only to end up with yet another petulant woman-child unwilling or incapable of accepting responsibility for her own happiness and success in life Preach it, brother! I would not. If heaven forbid I found myself single at this point, I would not go through it again. The minefield is all that much thicker since nearly twenty years ago when I hooked up for life.

Posted by: Desert Cat at January 20, 2006 04:39 PM (B2X7i)

6 Yeah. I'm done, too. My spouse has ruined me for anyone else. Of course, if I found myself in an alternate unmarried dimension, I might check into strictly recreational possibilities . . . but that's different.

Posted by: Attila Girl at January 20, 2006 07:10 PM (/y+/O)

7 Oh quite! Recreation is something altogether different.

Posted by: Desert Cat at January 20, 2006 07:55 PM (xdX36)

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. . . has no comment to make at this time.

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. . . can be interesting. Once in a while we'll be at a place that actually serves booze. So as I drink wine, I can watch him consuming vodka. He will keep up with me, even if I have a second glass of wine. I don't mean that he has a shot of vodka for each glass I drink. I mean that he can literally stay the course, ounce for ounce. Without slurring his words at the end of the meal. I mean, he's built like a football player, but it's still interesting to behold.

The last time it happened I remarked on it: that for each glass of wine I consumed, he'd had the equivalent amount of hard liquor.

"Oh, yes," he conceded. "But then, I'm much bigger than you are."

True enough. I saw a gleam in his eyes, however. The barest sort of enigmatic look. I read it as "you have no idea what I'm thinking about. It might be vodka, but it could even be something like sex." It was that amused, aloof look males like to assume.

And I know him better than anyone. He was thinking about vodka.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 01:26 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I think, "you know? Beautiful Atrocities has a sort of jaundiced view of large segments of Islam."

Then I figure I'm just reading him wrong.

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We're discussing our upcoming travel plans: his trip to Chicago, my trip to D.C. and Maryland.

"I think I can make that party we were discussing," he remarks. "As long as I get an early flight on my way back."

I can't believe I'm hearing this. If he has extra time that day, he should be seeing his relatives in Chicago—not my friends in L.A. Sometimes he's so self-sacrificing, I just want to punch him.

"No," I reply. "That's stu . . . I wonder if it might be wiser to see these people at a different time, so you can rest up from your trip. You know: not go right from travel to a social engagement."

Marriage is all about compromise: he knows I'm trying to protect him from overreaching as he trains for his next athletic event. So he pretends not to notice that I almost called him "stupid," supposedly for his own good. I mean, I may be a shrew, but I'm a particularly well-meaning one.

I sometimes wonder if the entire male population of the planet got together and bribed Attila the Hub into marrying me, to keep them from falling into that trap.

That would be cool. It would mean we have money stashed away somewhere.

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. . . resides here.

I don't want to read websites about getting organized: I want to read books about it. Books on de-cluttering my home. Magazine articles discussing same.

I lounge around at the end of the day, surrounded by manuals on overcoming clutter. They make little piles around my reading chair. I'm safe within them.

As I absorb their helpful hints and suggestions I get a warm sort of glow. I realize my clutter problem is manageable, and it makes me drowsy in a happy fashion.

I go off to bed.

Every week I clear the piles from around the chair, stashing them among my crime books or political tomes, where they sort of glare at me with their beady little eyes. Hell hath no fury like that of a sorting sytem scorned.

* * *

Every several months I eat lunch with She Who Will Not Practice Law. There's a great little health food cafe in the valley that serves yummy vegetarian takes on traditional food from around the world: Spanikopita. Burritos. Spicy soup. Lasagne. We often split something, or sometimes SWWNPL has coupons so we can get a "two for one" deal. I usually order rice milk with lunch, because rice is The Best Food On The Entire Planet.

And we generally go shopping after lunch: at the nearby plant nursery, or in the thrift shop. Or at Costco. If time is short we just bum around in the health food store, looking at the organic cosmetics and expensive quasi-Eastern lifestyle stuff: the candles. The yoga mats. You know.

One such time she caught sight of Karen Kingston's book, Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui.

"I have that book," she remarked.

"So do I," I replied.

"But can you actually find it in your home?"

"Nope," I responded. "I might need to buy another copy."

Posted by: Attila Girl at 12:51 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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. . . are so freakin' weird?

Oh. Wait . . .

Posted by: Attila Girl at 12:18 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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1 I assume there's supposed to be a link here...Unless you're just making an observation. The first flower in your "bouquet" of broken links? How sweet! Thanks!

Posted by: Darrell at January 19, 2006 09:34 AM (aq4Nn)

2 No link! Just an observation.

Posted by: Attila Girl at January 19, 2006 12:54 PM (/y+/O)

3 Where's the fun in being normal? I live for those words "what the hell is the matter with you?"

Posted by: William Teach at January 20, 2006 06:58 AM (V5vwb)

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Not so. One man can. He lives in the Rocky Mountains, by the way.

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I bought another knit hat today, and some gloves. But I'm still intimidated by the idea of going somewhere in the middle of February that has Real Weather.

My rational mind tries to point out that I lived in Maryland for a few years as a kid, and it wasn't bad at all. In fact as a little girl I wanted it to be colder, so I could experience the glamour of snow more than 2-3 days a year.

But I had to hurry into the mall today, due to the fact that I was wearing flip-flops. I don't usually wear flip-flops during the day, but the client I was working for is extremely stingy with the air conditioning, so I have to dress very lightly for that gig.

And I'm just intimidated as all get-out by a capital city that appears to have been placed where it is for the sole purpose of freezing my little feet right off of me.

Why isn't CPAC in Florida? I can do Florida: it's a bit damp, but manageable.

I'd better go. I'm giving myself a complex, as if I don't have enough of those.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 09:04 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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. . . to be over-challenged vs. under-challenged. At least, it is for me.

Out to see a client today, but I'll be extra-brilliant tonight to make up for it.

xxoo,

Joy

Posted by: Attila Girl at 11:51 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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. . . are in luck.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 04:24 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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"what an uppity gender."

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Should I be reading about the Singularity, or will it just make my head hurt?

I think I'll wait until someone puts out a graphic novel about it. That sounds less threatening.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 12:32 AM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
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1 First off, if you're going to talk about 'Singularity' it would be helpful to define it--or one would think. I felt as if it were another "World's best blond joke" circle 'jerk'..."The Singularity is an era in which our intelligence will become increasingly nonbiological and trillions of times more powerful than it is today—the dawning of a new civilization that will enable us to transcend our biological limitations and amplify our creativity...Ray Kurzweil book site" That said, I think it has already happened, so not to worry. We are already "talking" using our computer brains with more supporting data at our fingertips than we ever imagined. And naughty pictures. Let's not forget naughty pictures. We've already transcended the biological limitations of even the most advanced perv of the pre-1980's era.

Posted by: Darrell at January 16, 2006 09:04 AM (WppWP)

2 Sorry! I wasn't sure I was even in a position to define it, not having read the book. And the advances in porn are indeed impressive.

Posted by: Attila Girl at January 16, 2006 12:04 PM (/y+/O)

3 I wasn't criticizing you, dear girl! Mr. Dean talked about the subject at length without ever defining what-in-the-heck he was talking about! I assume he thinks everyone should know. Or anyone that counts. Your summary was quite appropriate--indeed what I've come to expect from you. I was a little disappointed the link was NOT broken, however. I know you do that on purpose! I'm beginning to think you don't care! Sniff!

Posted by: Darrell at January 16, 2006 01:26 PM (3i0/Y)

4 Sometime soon, I'll serve up a whole bouquet of broken links, and you, Jeff of BA, and Desert Cat can tease me mercilessly about it

Posted by: Attila Girl at January 16, 2006 02:43 PM (/y+/O)

5 Should I be reading about the Singularity, or will it just make my head hurt? I think I'll wait until someone puts out a graphic novel about it. That sounds less threatening. Oh please! Enough with the gender stereotypes already. ;P

Posted by: Desert Cat at January 16, 2006 07:49 PM (xdX36)

6 Okay--I'll be literal-minded for a moment, here, because I have been accused of playing the dumb bimbo when it suits me: I'm a proofreader, so I spend a lot of time reading boring stuff just looking for typos and other irregularities. So when I look at the kind of close reading that other bloggers do of certain passages, I just throw up my hands in disgust. It's not that I couldn't do it: it's that I have a life. I'm not earning lawyer-money, so I don't have to put up with lawyer-bullshit. (Also, as you know I'm so arrogant that I feel I've got nothing to prove )

Posted by: Attila Girl at January 17, 2006 12:19 AM (/y+/O)

7 I kid! I kid! I'm sure it's not what you meant, but y'know, reading it literally... On the topic, it certainly sounds interesting, but likewise, I'm not *sufficiently* interested to read the book. (offhand dismissal) In all likelihood the author had a point he wanted to make, and found sufficient data to make the point. (/offhand dismissal)

Posted by: Desert Cat at January 17, 2006 03:54 PM (B2X7i)

8 My favorite example of "way too much book to support its thesis"? Guns, Germs and Steel. I gave him a few chapters to get into the meat of his discussion, but he kept talking around it. So I went away

Posted by: Attila Girl at January 17, 2006 05:10 PM (/y+/O)

9 I'll wait and read about the Singularity on the newsblogs, 'cause if I read about things that haven't happened yet I'll just end up disappointed. Like my flying car. Where the flip is my flying car!?

Posted by: McGehee at January 18, 2006 05:43 PM (lAOTn)

10 I know. There they were on the Jetsons, big as life. And we were supposed to have had them like, decades ago.

Posted by: Attila Girl at January 18, 2006 08:20 PM (/y+/O)

11 I'm going to go into full-on Asperger's Syndrome mode here, and ignore the jokes for a literal answer. Sure, read about it. Kurzweil's stuff is probably the best, since he chewed the idea most and first. I personally have a hard time with a thesis that reminds me a bit too much of 2010's "Something's going to happen... something wonderful," but that's probably just me being old and cranky. If you want a more reasonable singularity, try this one on: Doctors announce a treatment that will extend productive, vigorous human life by 100 years. It costs $75,000,000 per person, and it will be decades before it comes down significantly.

Posted by: Christophe at January 18, 2006 10:23 PM (td8Qe)

12 Tempting, but like most, I can't afford it. And I'm afraid I'd get bored. My grandmother always said she didn't want to live after she could no longer drive. In my case, it's reading and writing. My singularity: on day x, I'm too old to log on to the internet. On day X + 1, I'm dead. Easy peasy.

Posted by: Attila Girl at January 18, 2006 11:23 PM (/y+/O)

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a lot of theological arguments appear to come down to, "is/was Jesus a prig, or not?"

I suspect it's clear where I stand on this issue.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 09:27 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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Michael Yon is calling for volunteers to screen articles written by soldiers/Marines overseas (and presumably by airmen and sailors who have compelling stories that will not compromise operations in the telling).

The idea is to form a committee to fact-check this material, and verify that it's safe to share with Yon's massive readership.

As you know, the legacy media is not giving us a balanced view of our operations in Iraq (in particular), and in the past we've relied on the milbloggers for the real story. When Michael Yon began his online magazine, it filled the gap between unverified first-person stories and gloom/doom from the MSM.

If you have the background, and a little extra time, you can make a difference in this war by contributing to quality journalism that hasn't been filtered through the left-wing media.

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There are endless variations, really:

• Among my high-school crowd, it had to do with how many digits of Pi one had memorized;

• Within my evangelical crowd, it's a matter of how quickly one can come up with a chapter and verse from Scripture, given its content;

• When I'm with my husband's friends, the goal appears to be coming up with that one line of the evening that has a roomful of jaded people laughing out loud;

• Some men appear to think it has to do with how much money they make, and this is the dullest kind of macho out there;

• With my gay male friends it's often "who has the nicest home?" (And, please: do not tell me gay men aren't macho. That's an urban myth. It's just a bit subtler: men are men, whether they're gay or straight.)

• Among bloggers, it all comes down to 1) traffic, and 2) whether you've actually made a dollar or two off of this bad habit, or might be likely to.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 11:57 AM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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Over at Althouse's digs, commenter Earnest writes, regarding the possibility of a Condi candidacy:

Mehlman is continuing his work reaching out to African-Americans. Steele is running in Maryland for Senator. Swann for Governor in Pennsylvania. The slightest shift in the African American vote in these and other must need states for the Democrats, like Michigan and Wisconsin, spell absolutely defeat for the Dems.Thanks to Alito and the tactics Kennedy took in his questioning the Italian Catholic vote on the Eastern seaboard is also prime for the splitting. Condi is the dramatic and final nail in the Dem's coffin. The best part of all this, is that the South will pull for Condi in a big way. The Dems won't know what hit them, and the fact that they consider the Republican party rabid racists and women-haters just gives the Republicans more time and space to spring the trap.

Yup. You got it.

Via this week's hero.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 08:18 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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1 You have to convince Condi to do it--it's hers for the taking. But remember what a huge sacrifice it is, as well. With the MSM and the Dems, I'd rather face the lions in the Coliseum... Maybe we can sweeten the pot a little bit for her, put together an army of volunteers to give her around-the-clock foot rubs, or something...Let her know that she'll be running as the incumbent. Remember my strategy---Condi replaces Dick Cheney within the next year. Then, Condi takes over for W before the Republican National Convention. No scandals. Just time off for good work. Might as well get Rudy to be her VP, too.

Posted by: Darrell at January 14, 2006 09:24 PM (W9PvN)

2 Good thinking, Darrell, you got the right viewpoint on Condi. Did you see ABC This Week with George S? They spoke about whether Condi will run in 2008. Donna Brazille stated that if Condi runs, she inherits the President's base. (a powerful view from a Dem.) Next, George Will commented about VP Cheney and health problems, and if he stepped down, Condi becomes VP. Then he said he believed Condi could be talked into running for 2008. Americansforrice.com believes Secretary Rice will be the legacy for President Bush. As the new chair of Team Condi (Jessie Jane Duff), American can not ignore excellence.

Posted by: Crystal Dueker at January 15, 2006 05:20 PM (O7APX)

3 I think she would hesitate about leaving her current post given current world events, and that would be a shame. She is more than just W's legacy--she might be the savior of Western civilization given the alternative. And ask me in ten years if I am laying it on too thick. I met her in the early 80's, by the way--made her drop her papers(just by looking)in a hallway in a fifteen-second magic moment of instant infatuation on my part. I would assume she has no patience for all the political garbage and the constant attacks of the opposition media and their tactics(pretending to be on your side while deciding where to stick the knife). She's already had a taste during her confirmation proceedings. Her candidacy would keep the Dems off-balance duing the whole process. The shock of her being the incumbent come election day would completely destroy them. And the MSM. It will destroy a million words that have already been written about Hillary being the first female President and a pre-ordained event. It will drain the last ounce of credibility from the MSM as they scurry about trying to head it off. Do you need any more incentives?

Posted by: Darrell at January 15, 2006 09:09 PM (hsT71)

4 With Crystal and me, you're preaching to the choir, Bud. The fact is, I think Condi's going to be a better President than W. is, and I voted for him—twice.

Posted by: Attila Girl at January 15, 2006 09:23 PM (/y+/O)

5 Darrell, and Miss Attila, today is the Iowa Caucus with thousands of Republicans meeting across the state to discuss the leadership of their state. Americans for Dr. Rice is in Des Moines, to continue to build support for Condi to be used in 2008 at the offical start of the next presidential race. The internet and even the mainstream media have been buzzing since First Lady Laura Bush mentioned she would like to see Condoleezza Rice run for president. (but did not say in 2008, shucks). There is excitement in the political air as people are talking about this next race, whether in books or by news reports. Darrell, I think Condoleezza Rice can do her job as our nation's top diplomat in 2007, and still be laying the foundation for her race in 2008. The efforts of our volunteer group and others clearly show that anytime after the November 2006 election, we could see the offical launch of the Condi for President DC team. In the meantime, over 4,000 people are on Team Condi to promote her from California, to Michigan, to New York, Tennessee, Iowa, Florida, and all parts in-between. Condi is the Super Star of the Republican galaxy. I will write later and let you know what happened in Iowa at our table raising donations and building support on January 16.

Posted by: Crystal Dueker at January 16, 2006 04:43 AM (O7APX)

6 I like preaching to the choir better...I think it must be the robes.

Posted by: Darrell at January 16, 2006 08:39 AM (WppWP)

7 So, completely hoenst question: Do you really think that the SoCons will go for her?

Posted by: Christophe at January 18, 2006 10:32 PM (td8Qe)

8 That is the $64,000 question, since she's technically pro-choice. I think that might be outweighed by two factors: 1) she's a minister's daughter, and 2) she has a chance of winning. [Of course, to some SoCons, point (2) is an argument against her.]

Posted by: Attila Girl at January 18, 2006 11:31 PM (/y+/O)

9 Of course, regardless, they'd have to actually come out and vote for her...

Posted by: Darrell at January 21, 2006 12:32 PM (NEzjW)

10 Dr Rice is and will continue to be a huge asset to our world. In this age of personel attacks and the danger posed to all from Crazy extremists. We need a leader that is supported by Non-Partisain people . Dr Rice is that person and the world needs a leader like her!! However, she can expect to be attacked by those similar to Senator Byrd, Kenedy & Other's , But her ability that was shown to all at her confirmation hearing & subsiqintly her tenure as Secretary of State leaves no doubt She is the leader we need!!! As a White male from a family of mostly Dems and after meeting and marrying a (wonderful) Black women I was overwelmed by the fact that the few Republicans in my family were 100% in favor of my Marriage and the overwelming majority of the Dems Were not only opposed but activly excluded my wife from there lives. I am certain that with Dr Rice will further convince this contry that Republicans are not the Rasist they are portraited to be by some disingenus or poorly educated soles. On the job!!! Their is no question that Dr Rice can command respect throughout the world. And help this contry to become more focused and Less devicive. Dr Rice in 2008!!!!!!!

Posted by: Todd at January 22, 2006 04:12 PM (2wHKb)

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Desert Cat says what we're all thinking.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 05:46 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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To me, you'll always be the feisty lady in The Poseidan Advanture, but I'll go back and see the movies you made as the Blonde Bombshell. Every single one of them.

WaPo has a nice bio here.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 01:44 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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. . . is being decided right now," he tells me. "And people are oblivious."

"What's the issue?" I ask.

"The limits of Executive Power. The relationship between Congress and the President. I care about that much more than I care about abortion."

This clarified things for me enormously, because I had thought the big issues of the day were things like:
1) whether/how Israel will survive;
2) whether parts of Asia or the Middle East were going to be annihilated in a nuclear war;
3) whether terrorists would succeed in taking out both the White House and the Capitol building at the same time, thereby effectively decapitating the government of the United States as the 9/11 terrorists attempted to do;
4) whether Europe would remain Western and liberal in its outlook, or whether it would instead be overtaken by the unenlightened segment of it growing Muslim populations, and
5) just how much bloodshed there would be in the growing conflict between Islamism and Western-style liberalism.

But, no. Apparently the issue is that Bush is packing the Supreme Court with justices who will give him a little bit of latitude in fighting this war, though he hasn't approached the liberties FDR took with the system—much less those Abraham Lincoln felt forced to take in keeping the Union together.

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