I don't really care for being pimped out to Mitt-Fucking-Romney, but you do what you have to do.

I'll do what I have to do.

And if we find each other, it's beautiful politics.

Yeah, Fred. Love you. But fuck you—long, slow, painful. Am I getting through to you?

"This will not be over quickly; nor will you enjoy it."

And, you know . . . I'm not angry any more.

My friend Binker, however, is furious.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 11:59 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
Post contains 81 words, total size 1 kb.

. . . tell me the big meeting will be tomorrow, and the party bus leaves in the afternoon.

Most of 'em don't expect to be conscious until sometime Friday night.

Oh!—those young people! they get sucker-punched like that, and they're willing to become conscious again at some point. The idealism just floors me.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 06:34 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 66 words, total size 1 kb.

and then I'm off to the suburbs of Seattle to see the many Irish in-laws. (There are a lot of them, and they circulate.)

I'll check in from the Great Northwest at some point soon. I haven't been there in nearly 11 years. Not since my honeymoon.

Don't do anything silly while I'm in the air, okay?

Posted by: Attila Girl at 03:39 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
Post contains 65 words, total size 1 kb.

and I still get hits from Jeff P's post doubting my assertion that women do not, as a rule, lovingly soap their breasts in the shower.

It's so tough for men to come to terms with these things . . . especially gay men.

Dang, I miss Jeff. Next time I'm in the Bay Area I'm going to tie him down and . . . lather up.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 03:08 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 79 words, total size 1 kb.

. . . may begin "allowing" women to do something I've been doing since the age of 17. (No, not that. We're talking about that skill that takes decades to get really good at, and is generally thought of in the West as "the right to travel," and A Good Thing for commerce.)

There's even talk of letting adult females register in hotels without male "guardians."

There are moments in the middle of the night that I just want to, um, ventilate the entire Muslim male population of the entire Middle East.

Then I take a valium, and I'm good for another 24 hours.

Please send more tranquilizers—or more Winchester Silver Tips. Either way.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 11:40 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 122 words, total size 1 kb.

Iowahawk has the goods: (1) a non-profit foundation, and (2) posters!

Mainstream reporters: Help us help you. Please.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 01:59 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 30 words, total size 1 kb.

points out the silver lining in the South Carolina results:

Those who worry about the emerging (let alone imminent) threat of a right-wing "theocracy" arising from the Republican Party are smoking funny stuff. There is NO constituency for a wedding of Church and State in America, not even in the Bible Belt. To the contrary, ALL the Republican candidates, save one, have been competing for GOP voters with speeches and position papers filled with the rhetoric of limited government, pro-free-markets, tax-and-spending cuts, and fewer regulations on our individual lives.

The exception, Mike Huckabee, was the only Republican trying to peddle an interventionist program of economic populism and religious involvement in law and politics—and now his campaign has been stopped dead in its tracks . . . by evangelical Christian conservatives.

Something to remember. I think they call it "the saving grace." Now read the whole thing.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 07:23 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 148 words, total size 1 kb.

I cannot stop thinking about the interplay between death and humor, probably due to Rosina's departure from this dimension, and the fact that I know her via the Warner Brothers crowd.

Death is, by the way, the only thing that really sobers comedy writers up. I was at the funeral of a little girl once—attended by veterans of Warner Brothers, Acme Comedy Theater, and the Groundlings—when M.D. Sweeney (still in the comedy/improv business at that time) looked around at the maybe 100 very silent actors and comics present. "Well, this shut them up."

He didn't mean it in a good way. It was just an observation.

Of course, even Mr. Death doesn't always win; he doesn't have the final word. As we paid our respects to the greiving father, my husband—who has a superb rapport with this man—made an outrageous suggestion that he ought to loan us money—a few dollars so we could go out to lunch—and it was just the right kind of black humor. The guy threw back his head and laughed, seemingly for the first time in weeks. He needed it, too.

It was one of the husband's shining moments: knowing someone well enough to find something on that line—funny, when it could easily have been sick.

I love these people: I'd never really experienced gourmet humor before I fell in with this crowd. And they aren't snobby about it at all; they'll still make puns and the like, if they're relaxed enough. And they aren't afraid to laugh; they aren't parsimonious with their laughter.

Best of all, they aren't mean. When funny people can manage not to be mean, it's the best thing in the whole world. And it's out there!

Posted by: Attila Girl at 06:58 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 291 words, total size 2 kb.

Pedro seems to suggest that you were as beautiful on the inside as you were on the outside.

Which, of course, is an amazing idea.

I don't think I ever saw Rosina without a smile on her face. My favorite Rosina moment? When one of the wives of the Warner Brothers Boys (from the Golden Age of the 1990s, of course) was complaining about some minor bit of assholism on the part of her husband (yes: sometimes we are the butts of their jokes; don't tell). Rosina dryly remarked, in her beautiful accent, "aren't you glad to have married such a funny guy?"

And we all laughed, because of course we were glad to have married funny guys, notwithstanding the price we all paid every now and then.

The world is a darker place without you, Rosina. You'll be missed, but your light endures.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 06:50 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 148 words, total size 1 kb.

sez, over at Protein Wisdom:

I will not, will not, vote for John McCain.

I will not, will not, vote for Mike Huckabee.

I will not, will not, vote for Ron Paul — unless he runs for Fuhrer. In which case, he’s got my full support.

I might hold my nose and vote for Mitt Romney, but to be perfectly honest, I have no confidence in him, and my vote would be moot, anyway: thereÂ’s no way he wins a national election. Because letÂ’s face it: the average US voter is simply not ready to give the White House to a guy named after a first basemanÂ’s glove.

Which means that if Fred Thompson drops out of the race (aside: I have no idea what Republican primary voters are thinking — other than that they are no longer interested in conservatism, and have become every bit as statist as their progressive counterparts), I’m resigning myself to a Democratic presidency in 2008 — and to the years of pain that will follow should the Dems maintain control of both the Executive and Legislative branches of government. Who knows? Maybe they even get the courts, too.

In other words, Hello “progressivism”! Which, as Ezra Levant and Mark Steyn can tell you, is simply another word for tyranny of bureaucracy under the auspices of an anti-individualistic, centralized coalition government — and is about as “American” (in the strictest, foundational sense) as caviar or goulash or the Yugo. Decline and fall.

So, what to do? Well, my first thought is to buy some remote land in Idaho and try to hole up for the next decade or so, learning to sustain myself with nothing but a bowie knife and some animal pelts. And maybe Dish Network and a HD DVR receiver.

Well, that won't sound too bad if Awesome Thompson drops out and Rudy doesn't win his Forida gamble (a possibility Jeff doesn't address).

The difference is, I may be able to vote for McCain, through sheer force of will, by reminding myself that "I'm voting on national defense, I'm voting on national defense, I'm voting on national defense; om om om; hail, Mary, full of grace."

And I could definitely vote for Rudy with the same attitude, too—adding "at least he cross-dresses and didn't sponsor McCain-Feingold" to my mantra.

Because at the end of the day, the War Against Islamo-Fascism trumps everything.

But it will be a sad moment, no?

"Shine, perishing Republic."

Boys, be in nothing so moderate as in love of man, a clever servant, insufferable master.

There is the trap that catches noblest spirits, that caught—they say—
God, when he walked on earth.

Yeah, yeah: Jeffers' theology is shaky. But the dude had a way with words, and sometimes I'm a sucker for that.

He died, by the way, the same year I was born.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 05:44 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 483 words, total size 3 kb.

. . . I commend my spirit.

I got nothin', Folks. Seriously.

I'm just hoping Fred sticks it out till Super-Duper Tuesday.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 01:25 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
Post contains 28 words, total size 1 kb.

1 CNN EXIT POLLS: South Carolina Best Chance of Winning in November Thompson 88% (Top in poll). /ELECTION/2008/primaries/results/epolls/#SCREP This explains why voters went for McCain(66% chance of winning).

Posted by: Darrell at January 20, 2008 07:57 AM (FrR7O)

2 First type the obvious address for the Cable News Network before pasting the rest. Fluffy allows a million spams but never a legitimate link.

Posted by: Darrell at January 20, 2008 07:59 AM (FrR7O)

3 I'm hoping that Fred stays in through the convention, but I must admit I don't hold-out much hope. He's the last true conservative in the race (with Dunc Hunter bailing last night) and will at least ensure that there is a strong conservative voice at the remaining debates. Sigh!

Posted by: deMontjoie at January 20, 2008 04:30 PM (D4bPm)

4 I got nothin' either. But there's little yellow feathers around the edges of my mouth...

Posted by: Desert Cat at January 20, 2008 09:49 PM (DIr0W)

5 Oh, dear, DC. You still haven't gotten over you-know-whom? Shall I send some chicken soup along . . . ? They say it's good for what ails you.

Posted by: Attila Girl at January 21, 2008 04:44 AM (vuv+H)

6 "Gotten over" she says. Hee hee hee! Brownback is gone. Hunter is gone. Thompson is foundering. Woe! There is "nobody" left to represent us conservatives. Oh there is much mirth ahead. I'm looking forward to the days soon to come when my erstwhile compatriots in the right blogosphere hang their heads in woe while holding hands to gather their strength to support the candidacy of... McCain-Huckabee 2008! (cue shrieking sounds)

Posted by: Desert Cat at January 21, 2008 10:51 AM (DIr0W)

7 Fine. I'll be in my backyard, preparing to eat my gun . . . You-know-who is an anti-Semite, DC! Wake up and smell the coffee!

Posted by: Attila Girl at January 22, 2008 01:12 AM (vuv+H)

8 Oh please... I've seen nothing other than a concerted effort to smear him with evidence that is dubious at best.

Posted by: Desert Cat at January 22, 2008 09:28 PM (DIr0W)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

gives me a reason to set my alarm.

South Carolina: don't let me down.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 02:53 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 22 words, total size 1 kb.

Wake me up when Fred shakes up South Carolina. Remember: I want to see Huckabee bloodied up a bit, and Fred waving a bunch of evangelical votes over his head, doing a little victory dance, still in the race.

Otherwise, don't wake me up at all.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 02:40 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 56 words, total size 1 kb.

"Are you fucking kidding me? She took an overdose of Klonopin* after having a mildly disturbing conversation with her ex-boyfriend."

"Well, she had a prescription for that."

"She took the whole bottle! And it wasn't the first time she's attempted her life, or pretended to!"

"Well, it wasn't the best way to handle the situation, I guess."

"She should either get health insurance, or finish the job next time!"

Men. You can't live with 'em, and you can't bury them all in your backyard.

* Spelling fixed; thanks, Hog. I committed the Sin Against Editorial Standards of using Google to spell-check. And, of course, every spelling under the sun is out there, somewhere, for every word. Lost my phone, so I couldn't find my personal pharmacist/father.

Also, there were four of them, and the sun was in my eyes, and they were fighting dirty.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 01:02 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 154 words, total size 1 kb.

And it's so bracing.

Dan Collins over at Protein Wisdom chronicles the current round of dirty tricks, and observes:

Those whoÂ’ve never understood Clinton hatred, but who back Obama, are about to learn a thing or two.

Yup. Actually, I don't hate the Clintons, but Bill is a pretty slimy guy; I respect his genius as a politician, but not who he is as an individual. Back when he was President, one of my liberal friends was fond of remarking "come on. Wouldn't you like to party with Clinton?"

"No," I was able to reply, quite honestly. "Because as some point he would try to stick his dick in my mouth; knowing that makes it hard to relax around someone."

UPDATE: What is it about Arkansas, anyway? More dirty tricks from the Huckster.

I wish that state would secede from the Union. Out, damned spot!

Posted by: Attila Girl at 12:53 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 155 words, total size 1 kb.

Freakazoid! will soon be out on DVD! Apparently, there will be real-time commentary by John P. McCann, Paul Rugg, and Tom Ruegger on the final product.

Here's a taste:

The highlight of this compilation is the scene wherein Steven Spielberg is talking to Freakazoid's writers and producers about a script. They are arguing that they should just "end the episode early, and show more Animaniacs." If you look closely, the writers/producers shown are cartoons of the actual people, including cool gal-around-town Jean MacCurdy and the infamously hard-to-caricature Paul Rugg.

Though my favorite is the episode wherein the day is saved by Paul Rugg and John P. McCann's real-life assistant, Greg—perfectly animated, of course. Unfortunately, that isn't on this particular digest, so I'll have to go get the DVD when it comes out.

Via Write Enough, who promises more details soon from the actual taping.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 07:19 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 148 words, total size 2 kb.

He'd fire it. If there were a home invader present and the closest gun at hand were the wife's Hello Kitty rifle, he'd use it to defend his family. (Though I recommend the Hello Kitty 20-gauge for that application.)

And I'm usually hesitant to get into the arena of "what do real men do?" I'm a chick, and I hate to issue directives to the complicated sex.

But in a heteranormative context, the real question is, Would a real man own a pink gun? No. Maybe one with cherry stocks. Hot pink, however, with a Hello Kitty logo on it? No.

Hell—I don't think I'd own one, despite the fun you all have regarding my hot-pink iPod and my flower-tattooed Motorola phone. A girl has to draw the line somewhere.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 06:54 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 134 words, total size 1 kb.

Semper Fi. Posted by: Attila Girl at 06:40 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 16 words, total size 1 kb.

. . . in two months; Jeff VanderMeer tells all.

Via Tom Nissley and Insty, who both point out that VanderMeer continued to blog during that high-productivity crunch. Personally, I find blogging to be so different from "real writing" that I rarely experience a conflict between the two.

Of course, I can also read after a day of writing, which my husband cannot: he's more likely to watch television. (Now he will tell you that I never spend the entire day writing, but that isn't true. I'm always writing. I'm just not necessarily getting it all down on paper. There's a distinction to be drawn there. Fruthermore, I can read to unwind after a day of proofreading, even while my eyes and my upper back ache from hunching over the same copy all day long, scouring eight-point type for boo-boos. I suspect this makes me a reprobate written-word-junkie, but I don't want to discuss it.)

What I cannot do when I'm infected with a piece of fiction is read much fiction, unless it's a short story here or there, or a quick re-read of something I've already read. If I'm fully immersed in my own world I have little desire to enter someone else's, so it has to be politics, pop culture, historical nonsense, theology, or philosophical whatnot. Something without a narrative arc, if you please.

Anyway, it's pretty fascinating stuff. It almost makes me want to print my work out and . . . send it around. Almost. But next thing you know, I'd be getting paid for it. That would make me feel dirty.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 05:45 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 276 words, total size 2 kb.

So, which is it? Are the kinds of people who are attracted to careers in the mainstream media more criminal to begin with, or is it that they become inured to deviant behavior from rubbing elbows with other producers and reporters?

Iowahawk delves into the twisted culture of the MSM.

UPDATE: In a fit of pique, I fixed the link.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 03:37 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 76 words, total size 1 kb.