on the GOP:

to start attacking my wife in a political campaign I think is detestable.

Hm. A lot of people feel that way about Michelle attacking the country and its values.

Look. I don't like people attacking the families of candidates; I'd love to see us get away from attacking Presidential offspring, in particular. But when a full-grown adult woman is making independent campaign appearances, she can probably take any criticism the media and campaign spinners want to throw at her. And to take the stance that she can dish it out, but not take it, is sexist and detestable.

Obama cannot have it both ways.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 09:27 AM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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Via Insty, some harsh—and well-deserved—words about the "Farm Bill":

Pathetic. Craven. Irresponsible. Unprincipled. Those and similar adjectives apply to every member of Congress who voted for the bloated, anti-consumer piece of legislative corruption known as the Food and Energy Conservative Act of 2008 a k a as “the farm bill.” President Bush has promised to veto the bill. To put it plainly, everybody in Congress who votes to override the coming Bush veto should be retired come November because they will have voted for a measure that is nothing more -- or less -- than a $300 billion giveaway of the taxpayers’ hard-earned money. This is especially true for conservative Republicans and Blue Dog Democrats who brag about their fiscal rectitude.

We’ve already editorialized that the bill is a budget buster even without the grab bag of spending gimmicks. We’ve noted that it will continue to give subsidies to millionaires who actually live in Manhattan and who might not even use their “farmland” for food crops. (Those subsidies will come from tax dollars confiscated from millions of working families of four making, say, $35,000. How is that fair?) But we actually understated the expense and duplicity of providing retroactive “disaster relief” for crop losses for which the 2002 farm bill previously covered in advance through federal crop insurance. As it turns out, the bill also keeps the crop insurance going forward, plus provides $3.8 billion in advance for any unforeseen “disasters” that may, uh, crop up.

On these pages last Friday, columnist Tim Carney described how the bill increases subsidies for domestic sugar growers that, combined with restrictions on imported sugar, will drive up U.S. food prices substantially -- and, even worse, how it provides for the government to buy “excess” sugar at high prices, then re-sell it to ethanol facilities at as little as one-tenth the price.

There also are inexcusable local-interest flimflams such as a $250 million tax credit for a private land sale in Montana and a provision to “sell” national forest land, necessitating a shifting of the Appalachian Trail, to benefit a Vermont ski resort. Worse -- and this is brand new -- House and Senate negotiators “air-dropped” several expensive provisions into the bill that neither chamber had voted on, including $170 million for salmon fisheries in California.

Emphasis mine, just because I'm so pissed, and I suspect my lib friends may skim that passage; I do want them to grasp how hyper-destructive this bill is.

Please find out if your congress-scum and senate-idiots voted for this thing, and let them know how you feel about it.

Let me put it this way: the bill is so egregious, President Bush even found his pen: he plans to veto it. Most of the time, he can't spend money fast enough.

The pathetic thing is that as it stands, the our fine legislators can override the veto. The ray of hope being that we can kick them out in November.

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We had a nice little party to celebrate Joe's launch into the world of shrinkdom.

I asked him where he learned to read lips, and unfortunately he picked that up from his speech therapist as a child. I still think I should earn lipreading and/or ASL before my hearing starts to go in a few years: I have seen the future, and it is my grandmother. If there are steps I can take to avoid becoming quite so isolated, they would be a good idea.

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What was NRA thinking in the first place, letting an idiot like Huckabee address its membership?

But if it's killed any chance of him being considered as VP, it might be worth the fact that the lefties will use this to malign gun owners.

Huckabeen. Please.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 06:56 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Just made Libby Copeland of WaPo his bitch.

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You changed everything. And it's still changing.

Thanks for all the varietals. Thanks for the top-notch—yet dirt-cheap—vino.

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If they really needed understanding and such, why would they have been born male?

Checkmate, Bay-bee!

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. . . on why black people should, as one of my African-American friends once put it, "stop picking cotton on the Democratic Party's plantation."

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Let us go gaily forward.

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I know I'm supposed to be even more pissed off at the Republicans than at the Democrats, here, but I'm pretty fucking pissed off at the entire House right now. There are a lot of people who are struggling to pay their bills right now, and this fucked-up farm bill is what our congresspigs come up with? Unbelievable.

The subsidy program exists far beyond its intended purpose. Like many New Deal programs, FDR didnÂ’t intend on making subsidies permanent, and he certainly didnÂ’t intend on turning them into corporate welfare programs. Today, thatÂ’s exactly what these programs are. The majority of subsidies go to commercial farms, not family farms, and the average income from a subsidy-receiving farm is $200,000—an income which Barack Obama considers “wealthy” for tax purposes.

Price supports make some sense for food security when prices are low, but thatÂ’s hardly the case now. Thanks in large part to subsidies for ethanol production, food prices have skyrocketed over the last few years. The market distortion has created hunger worldwide while robbing American taxpayers. Thanks to subsidies, Americans pay twice for foolish policy—once with the IRS, and a second time at the store with higher food prices. Small wonder, then, that the average household income for farmers has risen to almost $90,000 and that land values have doubled in the last eight years.

Do subsidies have any place at all at the federal level? IÂ’d argue no, but at the least, we should stop subsidizing commercial farms and let the marketplace dictate prices, using subsidies sparingly to support independent farmers. We have to stop using corn and other foods for ethanol. We should use food to feed people and animals and not our cars. Our inability to deal maturely with our energy requirements has created food shortages and inflation where we can least afford it.

My emphasis.

The really charming part is that unless we can transform some more legislative piggies into rational human beings, they can override Bush's veto on this nonsense.

Call your congressasshole, and tell 'em corporate welfare sucks, especially when it distorts markets in such a way as to increase hunger.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 09:29 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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For, um, all kinds of reasons.

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Web M.D. has a partial list.

Coping With the Symptoms of Menopause

There are many ways you can ease menopause symptoms and maintain your health. These tips include ways to cope with mood swings, fears and depression:

• Find a self-calming skill to practice such as yoga, meditation or slow, deep breathing.

• Avoid tranquilizers.

• Engage in a creative outlet or hobby that fosters a sense of achievement.

•Stay connected with your family and community and nurture your friendships.

• Seek emotional support from friends, family members or a professional counselor when needed.

• Take steps to stay cool during hot flashes, such as wearing loose clothing.

• Keep your bedroom cool to prevent night sweats and disturbed sleep.

• Take medicines, vitamins and minerals as prescribed by your doctor.

• Eat healthfully and exercise regularly.

That's fine, as far as it goes. Naturally, I had a few thoughts of my own:

• Invest in a Cool-Max pajama top.

• Buy your wine by the box.

• Use plenty of lime when burying bodies.

• Keep sorbet on hand for hot flashes.

• Consider alternatives to firearms, such as razor wire and edged weapons.

• Eat lots of Rice Krispies.

• Find a copendent friend whom you can endlessly berate over the phone when your estrogen levels are low. Avoid people with self-esteem.

• If you find yourself with a staff job, make a study of your boss's dietary habits. Buy a small manual on untraceable poisons. You may never need it, but it'll give you peace of mind.

• Read books on revenge carefully; learn to cover your tracks when you go on the karma-balancing prowl. Consider getting even with people other than those you imagine are somehow wronging you. After all, someone will pay it forward, some day.

"Did I get 'em all?" I asked Attila the Hub.

"Almost," he replied. "Just one more."

• Howl like a wolf for hours on end.

"I thought I was doing that already," I remarked.

"No, no. I don't mean internally, or using mere words. Or blogging, for crying out loud. I don't mean like Alan-freaking-Ginsburg. I mean actual, literal howling."

"Excellent idea. I'll try it. But I think I'll have some sorbet first."

Posted by: Attila Girl at 08:08 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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a customer called me "Honey." Men need to be careful using terms of endearment with strange women. (And remember—most women are strange as hell . . .)

I didn't mind "I love women in uniform." Because, after all, who doesn't look great in an orange dress, nylons, a bun in one's hair, and white tennis shoes with salsa stains on 'em?

But I didn't like "Honey." I just peered up through my bangs, leaned on the counter and told the guy. "I'm the waitress. I call you 'Honey.' That does not mean you get to call me 'Honey.'"

That was, BTW, the best job I ever had: I got to work all night, eat silver-dollar pancakes at 4:00 a.m., get the breakfast rush started, and walk home to my apartment just off UCLA's sorority row to have a second breakfast with my roommates before going to sleep.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 02:30 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Yup. I started going to my local one several years ago, after I gave up acrylic tips on my fingernails, and just had my toes done when I felt like it (usually during the summer).

The Vietnamese salon doesn't just have better prices than the white-run salon: it also has "spa chairs," in which one sits up high in a massaging chair with a basin of water underneath it, and less guilt (the women don't have to hunch down quite as far to reach one's toes). They throw in a few minutes of massage for free, and one can pay an extra five bucks for an extra five minutes.

There is also a Korean-run salon near one of my main clients' offices, and that is more unusual on the West Coast, though I understand in New York there are a number of Korean manicurists.

I think it's kind of cool that there are professions immigrants can study in their native languages to ease the transition into this country.

Oh, wait: I must pander to my culturally far-right, border-obsessed readers. Sorry. I'm outraged that instruction is offered in Vietnamese; people must learn English if they intend to live here! IT'S CALLED ASSIMILATION! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!!!!!one!!!!eleven!!!

h/t: Virginia Postrel.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 11:00 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Our congresscritters—and senator-things—are financial geniuses.

Yah!

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No; I have no idea how they ended up in an entry about pit bulls. Though I admit that Mandy likes to lick them when they are bare.

I do keep all shoes away from her, of course. Her notion of engineering, whether it has to do with a shoe or a suitcase or a chair or a vacuum cleaner, is that anything built "to last" was actually built to be a challenge when it's time to destroy it.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 09:09 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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Eric is not exaggerating. Though I've developed a sense for when Mandy might noiselessly pounce, and I can usually nip it in the bud with a command. (Unless she is trying to get out of the car and go off-leash; we have had some vigorous "discussions" about that, and if she really wants to make a break for it I will give the leash to my mother, when feasible: Mom has more weight than I do.)

Hard to explain: the girl can bluster and bark and growl, but if she goes into stealth mode, she moves like lightning.

She is a true athlete, and a work of beauty. And she has soft, silky fur.

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reframed.

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Despite the fact that I've never gotten around to learning the names of all the birds that alight on my balcony here in La Canada, I may miss them after we move: they come in all sizes, from hummingbirds to crows—and everything in between.

At the condo in Glendale we've seen signs of pigeon-proofing all over the railing. Though no actual pigeons. I suppose it isn't pigeon season.

I guess that's part of the Urban Experience: supermarkets within walking distance, and fewer species of birds.

If I play my cards right, my next digs will feature pterodactyls. We shall have to pterodactyl-proof our balcony, lest the beasts get in our way when we grill chicken breasts on hot summer nights.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 06:38 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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1 I would have thought pterodactyls would have been a bigger problem in La Canada, due to its greater distance from The La Brea Tar Pits. Just goes to show me. Better keep some Purina Pterodactyl Chow in your pocket to fling over the balcony in case of an attack. And get John McCain to work on another mythical problem. There's probably a multi-trillion dollar solution to that one too.

Posted by: Darrell at May 13, 2008 09:06 PM (pE9Mf)

2 Well, it turns out that the pterodactyls are all over the hills; they actually go out as far as Arcadia, where they are really big. Apparently a lot of the medium-size ones nest in the Angeles National Forest, and that's what worries me. I don't mind the bitty ones--I was, in fact, thinking of putting out some pterodactyl feeders for the sub-foot-long ones--but the biggers ones apparently swoop in and steal the feed. They are reportedly more aggressive about that than squirrels. And one has to watch out for the teeth, of course. Though I do have experience with Mandy, and I might be able to simply say "no!" or "ouch!" (She respects "ouch" more than "no," because we sound serious when we say it: so my mother has started to say it when she isn't in pain, like when the dog jumps on the new couch.) I have never tried to train a pterodactyl. But, really: how hard could it be?

Posted by: Attila Girl at May 14, 2008 01:17 PM (Hgnbj)

3 Maybe get them to extend their feeding range about 350 miles due northwest. That should take care of a lot of problems.

Posted by: Darrell at May 14, 2008 07:52 PM (6B7A4)

4 No can do: too many friends/relatives up there. Including the second-youngest set of nephews (the nieces/nephews go in clumps: early twenties, college age [Chicago area] the two Bay Area schoolkids, and the baby/baby enroute [in Connecticut]). I don't know why I flagellate myself over not having had kids: there are plenty of 'em around, after all. I just have to decide which nieces/nephews I need to snooker into taking care of me when I get old. Maybe I should make it a point to get rich. Then the snooker-ee can cut a better deal in my will, and everyone wins.

Posted by: Attila Girl at May 15, 2008 12:02 PM (Hgnbj)

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Just like it's sexism when people don't visit my site, or send me enough money.

This isn't rocket science, ya know . . .

Nor is this. Or, so CalTech Girl claims. She is, by the way, a bit down right now, and she needs a new laptop. So give her traffic and money. Or you're a freakin' sexist.

Peace out.

h/t: Insty.

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