Jeff G and Lair are at it again.

I'm staying home, scared to death that one of them will get mad at me.

I've been sitting at my desk for two hours straight, hair standing on end, eyebrows raised and eyes wide open.

I may still be here tomorrow morning—in the same position. Terrified someone will think I took sides, and I'll end up in his laser-like sights.

The saving grace? Laurence is unlikely to respond to a post that refers to him as "Larry."

And me?—I kind of hope that when Attila the Hub gets home from the party he's attending tonight he'll coax me gently off to bed.

UPDATE: Jeff insists that the "Sudden Fiction" about a guy named Larry who lives in Houston, works in a cubicle and likes food wasn't about Laurence. So we have to take him at his word, because not doing so amounts to a sort of mind-reading. I'm not a mind-reader, and I therefore retract my assertion that the post was about Laurence.

After all, if it were about Laurence, there would have been cats.

Of course, it's too late now.

If Jeff and Lair were women this would be regarded as a "cat fight," but instead we'll have to call it a "brilliant, verbal domestically oriented warbloggers fight" or something like that.

Posted by: Attila at 11:20 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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1 When elephants dance, ants die.

Posted by: Laurence Simon at May 01, 2005 05:33 AM (thpkl)

2 I'm only an ant if I cop to being an ant. And if I do, it doesn't count because I didn't mean it.

Posted by: Attila Girl at May 01, 2005 09:12 AM (U8eQl)

3 Uh, that post wasn't about Laurence Simon. It was just a piece of fiction about a magical burrito Indian.

Posted by: Jeff G at May 01, 2005 12:02 PM (a5fee)

4 Sure.

Posted by: Attila Girl at May 01, 2005 01:36 PM (U8eQl)

5 "When elephants dance, ants die." Probably suffocated in elephant poo. Helluva way to go.

Posted by: gail at May 01, 2005 01:40 PM (47cun)

6 My story had nothing to do with Laurence's post. Period. In fact, I was finishing it up when I received his first trackback. Unless you think I read Laurence's post at 12:47, then wrote mine in response and got it posted by 12:53.

Posted by: Jeff G at May 01, 2005 03:43 PM (a5fee)

7 You have awfully thin skin, Jeff. You use... what? SPF 100?

Posted by: Laurence Simon at May 01, 2005 04:12 PM (thpkl)

8 When I don't have thin skin, I'm acting too above it all. Hard to reconcile, I realize, but hey -- if Bush can be an evil genius and a barely literate Christ-bothering bumpkin', I suppose I can be called on to play two roles at once. It might make you feel better to think I have thin skin, but what I really have is a curiosity about why people like you spend so much time worrying about what others are doing and so little time on the important things, like posting more cat pictures and telling us more about what you baked on any given day. But hey, the sun block joke? Now THAT's good stuff.

Posted by: Jeff G at May 01, 2005 04:26 PM (a5fee)

9 Re: your update. I had no idea Laurence worked in a cubicle. And the protagonist Larry in my story didn't like food so much as he did not knowing what he was going to get from day to day. In short, he hated the predictable, mindless, regurgitated memes of your standard mediocre burrito. But that part was just a coincidence.

Posted by: Jeff G at May 01, 2005 09:13 PM (a5fee)

10 How dare you call me a brilliant, verbal domestically-oriented warblogger!

Posted by: Laurence Simon at May 02, 2005 11:09 AM (uBCxH)

11 Touchy, touchy!

Posted by: Attila Girl at May 02, 2005 11:25 AM (U8eQl)

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. . . does Lair seem a bit irritated by Sully?

Posted by: Attila at 12:15 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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. . . marvels at the success of Air America, and offers the network some suggestions to continue its momentum.

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I was at L.A. Times/UCLA Festival of Books yesterday (yes: Angelenos just call it "the book fair"). What a great time. It's always a little grueling, and we usually come home with those "day at the beach" headaches that tell us we have micro-mini cases of sunstroke. Yesterday, though, it was a little overcast, so we were able to stay a little later in the day without danger of our parched bones being found outside Royce Hall.

As usual I saw a few panels on crime writers, and was excited to sit in on one that featured both T. Jeff Parker and Roger L. Simon. (But where, Roger, was the fedora? You were wearing a baseball cap.)

Roger was blunt about his politics, and actually announced in a small lecture hall of about 300 people that he'd voted for G.W. Bush. He discussed 9/11 as a pivotal moment in his political evolution, and Tod Goldberg, as moderator, was able to joke about the fact that this made Simon a minority in that crowd: Goldberg struck just the right note, defusing the tension in a way that was respectful of both Simon and the left-leaning audience.

But the impressive acts of courage were undertaken by Hugh Hewitt. To a much-larger audience in a lecture hall that sat over a thousand, Hewitt discussed the media with a crowd of people that included Arianna Huffington. At first I was confused when Hewitt didn't garner as much applause as Arianna; later, it became clear that even a panel featuring Hugh hadn't attracted a centrist crowd. Not in this town, Baby.

The audience was completely outraged by a few observations of Hugh's, including a statement to the effect that the L.A. Times leans to the left. (I'm serious: it seems so self-evident that even my lefty friends cheerfully agree it is so, despite the Times featuring a few righty columns and one neocon cartoonist. Yet the boos Hugh was subjected to lasted over five seconds, and the two women on either side of me each glanced in my direction, as if to ask, "can you believe the amazing thing he just said?" Well, you know—I could.)

I kept a polite, chilly smile on my face. I didn't give these people any reason to think I agreed with them, but I also didn't clap at the end of Hugh's statement, and this was a failure. I think the handful of us in that room who support the war were truly scared and surprised by the sheer level of lefty adrenaline in that huge space, and just didn't know what would happen if we let those around us know how we felt.

Later, Hugh referred to Fox News as "center-right." More booing and hissing. The woman on my left (figuratively and literally) nearly bounced out of her seat once more. Again, I was chilly and unresponsive to those around me. But I failed to support Hugh as audibly as I would have liked.

I keep thinking about Malcolm Gladwell's amazing book, The Tipping Point. It was a great read, and I'm ready to buy it and hand it out on the street: what a fabulous set of observations about human nature. One of the fascinating discussions within it has to do with how we behave differently in groups than we do when we're alone. I was disappointed in my inability to stand up for what I believe in from the midst of a crowd of people who were upset about the war in Iraq.

This inner resistence we feel is the hardest thing in the world to counter, because no one wants to be the nail that sticks up and gets pounded back down. I'll have to try harder, though: because what matters is not who wins the debate. What matters is that we keep having it.

Next time, I'll clap for Hugh. I have to.

Posted by: Attila at 03:23 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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. . . to write anything worth reading until someone links me.

Posted by: Attila at 10:27 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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1 I thought you were already in my blogroll. Well you weren't even though you are in my RSS reader and I never miss a post. I just put you in my blogroll, so you have been linked. Now write. Or not.

Posted by: Scott B at April 22, 2005 10:44 PM (y6ZHS)

2 Done!

Posted by: John Hawkins at April 23, 2005 01:06 AM (DyiUn)

3 I would too, except I don't want to embarrass you! - I'm not properly up and running yet. Do good intentions count?

Posted by: k at April 23, 2005 07:31 AM (HoSBk)

4 I wish I could, but I can't figure out how to get links to appear on LiveJournal. If anyone knows, let me in on the secret. When I get my own website up and running I'll make sure you're at the top. DB

Posted by: DrainBamaged at April 23, 2005 09:56 AM (Pp32v)

5 DrainBamaged!!! ROTFLOL!!! You crack me up! I'm glad I'm not the only one who's not in total control of their blog as yet. Maybe she had a particular link in mind that we need to suss out? Perhaps we should be thinking scavenger hunt around now? But surely she's owed more than one! I mean, look at all the links she has up there on her own blog. That's too many for me, I can't even count that high!

Posted by: k at April 23, 2005 11:37 AM (6krEN)

6 They should know that they won't get a link back from you

Posted by: Don at April 24, 2005 01:54 AM (H3z07)

7 Whaddya call this?-- http://littlemissattila.mu.nu/archives/065841.php

Posted by: Attila Girl at April 24, 2005 08:48 PM (U8eQl)

8 You right near the top of my list. Because your name begins with an A.

Posted by: gail at April 26, 2005 11:43 AM (/G91Q)

9 I stand corrected. And, thanks for the front page link...finally!!!

Posted by: Don at April 26, 2005 02:20 PM (FsGoB)

10 I will be happy to blogroll you at my site.

Posted by: barry at May 03, 2005 01:59 AM (kKjaJ)

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Jibjab has a new video going, about the Tribe.

Posted by: Attila at 12:15 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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. . . has found her true calling.

Posted by: Attila at 11:28 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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. . . my favorite Alexander Pope couplet.

Posted by: Attila at 12:43 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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a little acid in our tea, could be all we need.
the proof is in the putting."

—Jill Johnston

On a related note, Pile On shares some very important scientifical research. Lots of proof there.

Posted by: Attila at 12:36 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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. . . from Iowahawk. And I don't say that lightly.

Posted by: Attila at 06:10 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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. . . going on at Laurence's place.

My theory: the kitties finally took over. Laurence is probably locked in a closet somewhere. They're about ready to set up the "human cam."

Posted by: Attila at 12:13 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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1 I always knew he was full of carp

Posted by: William Teach at April 01, 2005 04:00 PM (HxpPK)

2 I'm waiting to see if the fishies are there tomorrow; then I'll know.

Posted by: Attila Girl at April 01, 2005 05:43 PM (R4CXG)

3 true, he only modified his front page, not his archives. Pretty cool, though.

Posted by: William Teach at April 01, 2005 06:45 PM (HxpPK)

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