May 27, 2005
Lair Had a Rough Day.
Oh,
yeah.
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There needs to be some new thinking in this on the ground crap. I always figured that the up against was less threat than on the ground, cause on the ground can roll into feet. Any stop that does not result in an arrest must be explained and compensated.
Posted by: Walter E. Wallis at May 27, 2005 10:46 AM (zJ4Tq)
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May 26, 2005
It's an Ann-alanche!
I seem to have stumbled into a clique of elite
legal bloggers, and tripled my traffic in one day. (Seriously: it's at, like, pre-election levels.)
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May 25, 2005
If I Were Althouse,
I'd be filing that
restraining order against
Goldstein, not
Reynolds.
But, you know: it's her restraining order.
UPDATE: It was Allah! Dang! Goldstein points out that he would have worked the jail sex-angle. Which, of course, he would have. My mistake.
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Posted by: Sissy Willis at May 26, 2005 01:17 PM (7WFgX)
2
If I did that Photoshop? I would have put Glenn's reflection in the glass table.
Amateurish. I spit on it.
And if I had written the copy? Well, let's just say the prison scene would have been a bit more "realized."
Posted by: Jeff G at May 26, 2005 04:24 PM (HmeM4)
3
Right. Reynolds would have been live-blogging his jail r-a-p-e. Oops.
Posted by: Attila Girl at May 26, 2005 05:40 PM (8e5bN)
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May 24, 2005
Oh, Those Newsweaklings
Iowahawk has the
story on the riots in Dairy Country:
Newsweek Lutefisk Story Sparks Fury Across Volatile Midwest
Decorah, IA - The debris-strewn streets of this remote Midwestern hamlet remain under a tense 24-hour curfew tonight, following weekend demonstrations by rock- and figurine-throwing Lutheran farm wives that left over 200 people injured and leveled the Whippy Dip dairy freeze. The rioting appeared to be prompted, in part, by a report in Newsweek magazine claiming military guards at Spirit LakeÂ’s notorious Okoboji internment center had flushed lutefisk down prison toilets. NewsweekÂ’s late announcement of a retraction seems to have done little to quell the inflamed passions of Lutheran insurgents in the region, as outbreaks of violent mailbox bashings and cow tippings have been reported from Bowbells, North Dakota to Pekin, Illinois.
Whether the violence was triggered by Newsweek’s report of lutefisk desecration or frustration over chronic shortages of Beanie Babies and Old Style, one thing seems certain – occupying U.S. troops face a steep road to reestablish trust in this tinderbox of ancient hatreds and delicious dairy products. Some analysts say the latest outbreak represents the most vexing challenge to US strategy since its invasion of the region three years ago.
“It could be months before we get the area back under control,” said Brigadier Gen. Glen Hastings of the US Army’s Southern Minnesota Command. “We’re hoping the tractor pull and swap meet seasons will help calm down some of the violent elements.”
Read the whole thing. It's funny; you betcha.
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After the revolution, coffee and bars will be served in the basement. Ooh, and thanks to Gladys for bringing the rocket launchers.
Posted by: Ciggy at May 25, 2005 11:48 AM (Ru8KL)
Posted by: ann at June 03, 2005 11:32 AM (Y7dVX)
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Born in Minnesota and raised in Wisconsin, I am
deeply offended by the obvious stereotyping of ALL Midwesterners as dangerous fanatical Lutherans. The Lutheran Liberation Organization (LLO) is not a terrorism unit, dontcha know. They are merely devout men and women seeking to return the land of their fathers to its fundamentalist roots. Transplanted Lutherans around the country host bake sales and car washes to funnel money into the LLO, so that it may promote itÂ’s agenda of Peace.
The media bias has portrayed ALL Midwestern Lutherans as violent, failing to differentiate between the fringe element and the moderates. The tragedy is that now ALL innocent Midwesterners will suffer Christian profiling. As a Midwesterner living quietly in Texas, IÂ’ve already suffered the stares, the nudges, the looks wherever I go. People study me for clues of my religious preference. I know theyÂ’re wondering if IÂ’m just a plain Midwesterner or from the fundamentalist Missouri Synod. They are afraid that I might snap and go into a violent Polka or Chicken Dance!
Oh ya sure, the “fringe element” managed to ransack the entire Midwest region, but after all, it’s really because they’ve been oppressed and mistreated for so long by the steady encroachment of the Southern Baptists - who should’ve known better and stayed below the Mason-Dixon line! Not to mention the fact that the Methodists and Episcopalians have actually defiled their carefully manicured neighborhood blocks by placing their own houses of worship on opposite corners. I mean, the Catholics even STOLE Bingo night and have seduced the elderly into their cathedrals on Friday nights when everyone knows that is the sacred Friday Night Fish Fry!! Is it any wonder there is no peace?! How on earth are the Lutherans, after being oppressed for so many decades, supposed to live in peace and harmony with infidels, eh?
Furthermore, to add grave insult to injury, the presence of the evil war-mongering California National Guard is proof of an insidous conspiracy for the environmentalists to rape the land of its wheat and corn! Everyone knows how much grain those hippies eat! And corn! They need more and more crops to support their depraved vegan lifestyles. Especially now that their bagels have gotten so huge, and rely on only whole grain wheat! This is really all about WAR FOR WHEAT!
Lord knows, itÂ’s been a trial, and the Lutherans have suffered greatly, dontcha know. It really would be best for the world, if they are given the land for their own. Oh ya, the world owes it to 'em! In fact, though I am a
moderate Midwesterner and not at all part of that tiny fringe group of fanatical Lutherans, I certainly do understand their reaction. It is everyone elseÂ’s fault, fer peteÂ’s sake!!
Oh, ya hey dere: if you disgree with me, then youÂ’re a hate-monger and a racist.
Posted by: HE!D! at June 05, 2005 07:33 PM (BqNFt)
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May 22, 2005
Glenn Reynolds
. . . continues his
boycott of me. My head is bloody, but unbowed.
It's been suggested that if my site stopped sucking, he'd link to me. Not so!—my site has only sucked for a few weeks. Maybe a month at the outside. And he's been boycotting me for over two years, ever since I started blogging.
I must be a very important blogger to get this kind of negative attention from Glenn. Deep down, he fears my power.
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Less linky...more original insight, investigation and analysis. Your posts should make their own mark on the blog world evidencing their glenworthiness. He will then beat a path to your door.
And I should know...I've been linked to by Glenn Reynolds exactly 3,456 times more than you.
[For those bad at math 3,456 x 0 = 0]
Posted by: Don at May 23, 2005 11:34 AM (FsGoB)
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Little Miss Attila continues her boycott of basil's blog...
Posted by: basil at May 23, 2005 03:12 PM (4Ek1C)
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Doesn't suck. Never has, never will.
Therefore:
Look for a different reason.
Posted by: k at May 23, 2005 08:24 PM (6krEN)
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I agree with k. Never sucked, never will.
But, if you really want a link, email him something good now and then. I have gotten a few minor lanches, once when I didn't even want credit.
Posted by: William Teach at May 24, 2005 05:05 PM (HxpPK)
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Or Jesus Christ or very
paul mitchell painful and just the entertainment
dragonball s_christian-dating_2 industry movies, the golden era making their jobs, decisions: affect
s_rv_8 not necessarily have the desire would like Gandalf, the mass media American ways, was reborn with Dorothy Lamour in Los Angeles times we honor every single now is over animals especially, in High on children to be in this time and they'll tell build up careers for themselves something it actually it, for example, A crumbling business model, is somewhere where The fastest growing areas choices for the act. Rachel and cursed out she
matchmaking stands out to figure.
Posted by: serena at June 03, 2005 11:38 AM (Y7dVX)
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May 19, 2005
Reynolds and Sullivan
. . . are having a bit of a
spat. A very polite one, so far.
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Posted by: Don at May 19, 2005 08:49 AM (FsGoB)
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Sully loves attn from Reynolds, of any kind
Posted by: beautifulatrocities at May 19, 2005 08:35 PM (n2eLt)
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Link fixed.
If only Sully were as generous with his links as Glenn is.
Posted by: Attila Girl at May 19, 2005 10:35 PM (8e5bN)
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In what alternate universe is that link fixed? (Not fixed on IE running on XP at home or at work.)
Posted by: Don at May 20, 2005 09:13 PM (H3z07)
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Yipes! MULTIPLE typos in the html. Very sloppy of me. It should work now.
Posted by: Attila Girl at May 20, 2005 09:53 PM (8e5bN)
Posted by: beautifulatrocities at May 21, 2005 03:28 PM (X/sXG)
Posted by: Don at May 21, 2005 04:51 PM (H3z07)
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No, but I was half-asleep when I wrote the post. How embarrassing. At least I'm not obsessing about Star Wars.
Posted by: Attila Girl at May 21, 2005 08:30 PM (8e5bN)
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I wrote to Sullivan several months ago giving him detailed reasons why wrapping an Israeli flag around someone was only torture if that someone was a raging anti-Semite. I also gave him examples of why his position that al Qaeda operatives were untitled to Geneva Convention protection was wrong. His response? He replied "You sicken me." I have retained those e-mails for future reference.
Sullivan is a lightweight. He has very sketchy historical knowledge, particularly about military and American history. He has no comprehension of how our federal system and sharing of powers is supposed to work. He continues to make bunches of unsupported assertions on a variety of topics. When challanged, he usually replies, not with reasoned argument, but with personal insults. "Homophobe" is one of his most often used ones.
In addition to that, I'm still curious, as are many others, as to exactly what became of the 200 grand he raised to keep his blog site going, after which he promptly closed most of its functions down and went to Europe. Hmmmm.
Posted by: tim at May 22, 2005 05:43 PM (bnwP5)
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Sully has become largely a caricature of himself. It's actually rather sad in some ways.
I'm not upset about the money--though plenty of us are laboring away in the vineyards for free--but it's another nice little stick to poke him with. (And I do not know what his medical costs are, but imagine they are a good deal higher than mine.)
I'd rather read Christopher Hitchens all day long: there's a truly independent thinker. He still has a certain romance about Marxism, but he's clear-eyed about the present conflict.
But Michael Kelly was the best. R.I.P.
Posted by: Attila Girl at May 22, 2005 08:22 PM (8e5bN)
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Sullivan's latest is to excoriate anyone who dares to criticize the honesty and veracity of the International Red Cross. The IRC is a corrupt, Leftist and Islamofascist dominated organization. The IRC did squat to help the Jews in WWII. The IRC won't let the Israelis have a Star Of David on their Red Cross flag, but it's OK for the Muslim countries to have a Red Crescent. The IRC falls hook, line, and sinker (as does Sullivan) for the claims of "brutality" made by Islamofascist terrorists which can be found verbatim in al Qaeda's manual which is available online at the Department of Justice website (Sullivan is apparently too lazy to look it up or is not interested).
Sullivan's real damage comes from the fact that the Left trots him out as a "Conservative" spokesman when he's nothing of the sort. He's an upscale version of David Brock.
Posted by: tim at May 23, 2005 05:08 AM (1eVfs)
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May 18, 2005
May 16, 2005
The Rosetta Stone
to
Huffington's Toast can be found
here.
Apparently, there are only two "franchise" characters. One is spelled out in the cast list above. The other is not, so we're still free to speculate. I'm going to go with Jeff Goldstein as Martha Stewart, for obvious reasons. I'm very sad that I was wrong about Moxie's specific role, but I think life will go on. I'm also going to go out on a limb and suggest that Jeff was Harry Reid today.
So as a general rule, there's no telling which blogger wrote which particular parody on that site, making it a collaborative piece not unlike improv comedy—except, of course, that no one is "locked in" to any particular character (with two exceptions).
Let's remember to drop by these bloggers' main sites as well as going for our daily Toast. I'm also going to predict that this parody will still be going even after Arianna gives up on the Post itself.
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It may seem a bit paradoxical to speak of Huffington's blog in this way, given its militant anti-psychologism. But the paradox is lessened when we take note of the fact that this militant anti-psychologism is no less true of much of contemporary blogging itself, particularly of those branches that until a few years ago monopolised the study of use and acquisition of linkage. We live, after all, in the age of "behavioural science," not of "the science of mind." I do not want to read too much into a terminological innovation, but I think that there is some significance in the ease and willingness with which modern thinking about man and society accepts the designation "behavioural science" as regards mocking famous blogs.
Posted by: Pile On® at May 17, 2005 05:54 AM (jPTye)
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(via the Pinkerton screed)
Newsweek lies, bald-faced, and then cite Orwellianism when called on it.
That, peeps, is Chutzpah!
Posted by: Ciggy at May 17, 2005 01:16 PM (q9YxC)
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That is a hilarious parody. The pics in particular are priceless
Posted by: jeff at May 18, 2005 12:07 PM (UVSIi)
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May 15, 2005
On Arianna's Toast
There's a nice little roundup of
Huffington's Toast here. It's not comprehensive, but it'll get you started.
When all is said and done, I think "Toast" may get a lot more attention that the Huffington Post. It's certainly more interesting (unless Arianna wants me to write for her, in which case of course the "Post" is brilliant and puts the "blog" in "blogosphere").
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Some Flaws in the Test Design, I Fear:
My friends won't recognize me at all, I'm afraid. But I'm old and it's almost bedtime and I just had cookies, so there's that. (Isn't it cool that popping an Ambien every now and then isn't one of the Seven Deadlies?)
Your Deadly Sins
|
Pride: 40%
|
Envy: 20%
|
Greed: 20%
|
Sloth: 20%
|
Gluttony: 0%
|
Lust: 0%
|
Wrath: 0%
|
Chance You'll Go to Hell: 14%
|
You will die from faulty botox injection. |
Got it from the Llamas, who apparently also have a 14% chance of going to hell. Maybe we can get together and gossip amidst the flames.
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I question the results. This test tells me that I have an 80% chance of going to hell.
It's obvious that the real probability is much higher than that.
Posted by: Jeff Harrell at May 15, 2005 10:17 AM (KZlQC)
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Feh, I'll post on this tonight.
Jeff, I don't know how you hit an 80% chance; I'm with the Llamas and Miss Attilla here at 14%.
Posted by: Lysander at May 15, 2005 03:26 PM (ShW/G)
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The 14% club, eh?
I'm with the Llamas and the whole Stargate/underpants thing.
Posted by: Pixy Misa at May 16, 2005 12:53 AM (AIaDY)
Posted by: Attila Girl at May 16, 2005 12:11 PM (x/EKm)
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wrath 0%?
Posted by: William Teach at May 16, 2005 04:56 PM (HxpPK)
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Yeah 0% wrath...way to let down the Huns there.
And I get, "You will die, after conquering the world as an evil dictator." So atleast I got that going for me.
Posted by: the Pirate, Duke of Manhattan Beach & Lord of the South Bay at May 16, 2005 08:22 PM (Khg8i)
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Hey! I complained about how inaccurate this thing was . . . !
Posted by: Attila Girl at May 16, 2005 08:31 PM (x/EKm)
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There's some of that wrath
Also, how can you get a 0% on gluttony when you had just had a cookie before bedtime? I think I have been reading moonbat stuff to much, since I am being a bit nitpicky, I do believe. Heh.
Posted by: William Teach at May 17, 2005 02:06 PM (cuTsc)
Posted by: wola at June 03, 2005 11:50 AM (Y7dVX)
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May 14, 2005
Just Brilliant.
An underground cabal of funny bloggers have taken up the challenge of a
parallel blog—a sort of shadow
Huffington Post. It's brilliant: web satirists making fun of nearly everyone in the blogosphere.
This is one case in which the parody will outlive the object of its derision. Because, unlike the Huffington Post, it isn't all about her.
Homework:
Exercise #1—click all of the links on the blogroll. Sometimes you won't just get the usual thing.
Exercise #2—try to guess who the real bloggers are behind the online personae. I have maybe three guesses at this point, and I'm sure everyone has a few suspicions. I'm hoping they're never confirmed, though: I kind of enjoy the mystery. (Is Allah Michael Moore? Goldstein has to be Martha Stewart, right? And Moxie absolutely must be portraying Huffington herself. I almost think Iowahawk for the ghost of Hunter S. Thompson, though there's no real indication he's involved in the project. But don't tell me for sure. Not unless everyone else knows, and I'll just look uncool for laboring on in the dark.)
The only thing I know for sure is that it's at least several people maintaining that blog at this point, and "Glenn Reynolds" is multiple individuals. Both or all have noticed the Althouse thing over at Instapundit.
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Oh. My. God.
How did I know that there would be a post from "Michael Jackson" on there?
Priceless. Just Priceless.
Posted by: Dennis_Mahon at May 15, 2005 03:35 PM (qPplC)
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May 04, 2005
Hey!
I'm trading at over $1700 on Blogshares. Too bad it's Monopoly money, or I'd invest in myself.
It's interesting that I appear to be valued higher than a few blogs that have higher traffic than I.
FWIW, the guy who owns most of my shares is one William Fisher. The other ten are held by my ex-boyfriend, who is apparently trying to pay himself back for that $5 I borrowed back in the 1970s. He uses phrases like "compound interest" around me.
I generally respond with "la la la, I can't hear you!"
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Yes, too damn bad it's monopoly money. I'd consider your debt *ALMOST* paid in full. There's still the matter of an ice chest and a video to be made.
Maybe your readers would be interested in providing venture capital for a film...
Posted by: littlemrmahatma at May 04, 2005 07:58 AM (BZ0tI)
Posted by: Attila Girl at May 04, 2005 10:04 AM (U8eQl)
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Attie, ATTIE!!! It's me Mahatma, don't you remember?
The drunken debauchery on the Montmartre Steps?
Running the minefields in Damascus?
Swimming naked in the Viennese canals?
Eating the serpents egg special in Bangkok?
You must remember, you must...else the pelvic tattoos and back scars - our very relationship - becomes meaningless.
Search deep in the dark corners of your memories...
Remember the camel incident...
Posted by: littlemrmahatma at May 04, 2005 12:04 PM (BZ0tI)
4
"Boris must be on a very important mission, though why they would trust him with any mission after that stupid incident with the camel is beyond me . . ."
Posted by: Attila Girl at May 04, 2005 12:15 PM (U8eQl)
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"Maybe your readers would be interested in providing venture capital for a film..."
Is there any raw footage you need help editing?
Posted by: Don at May 04, 2005 12:54 PM (FsGoB)
6
It would burn your retina right out--and not in the way you think.
Posted by: Attila Girl at May 04, 2005 03:33 PM (U8eQl)
7
Am I being taken in by a hoax here?
Posted by: jeff at May 05, 2005 11:17 AM (H3mkq)
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Let's call it a practical joke.
Posted by: Attila Girl at May 05, 2005 03:22 PM (U8eQl)
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Very practical, if people would consider funding our next film.
Hey Attila readers - you can own part of a Hollywood film and possibly make a decent ROI!
Posted by: littlemrmahatma at May 06, 2005 07:30 AM (BZ0tI)
10
Like Attila the Hub did with his take-off on The Blair Witch Project?
(Well, hey--it did get shown in one independent film festival, which meant we got to hear people laugh at it who HADN'T been part of its making. It was also an excuse to go to Florida the day after he won his last Emmy.)
Posted by: Attila Girl at May 06, 2005 12:45 PM (U8eQl)
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