January 15, 2005

Speaking of Hugh Hewitt

Goldstein:  “I AM A CITZEN JOURNALIST.  I DEMAND PIE!”

As do we all. Make mine lemon meringue, please.*


* And I don't care what the mainstream media say; I'm eating it for breakfast!

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Can We Get Over

. . . this unfortunate habit of referring to the male genitals as "junk"? It's only slightly less offensive than the British "naughty bits."

On the other hand, at least there are terms for the male genitalia that encompass the entire area. Most term that refer to female genitals only refer to the canal . . . you know: the useful part.

Of course, sexual slang is generally really inadequate to describe the human equipment and experience. We should, really, be able to do better.

That said, I'm glad to finally know the origin of the term "going commando." Carry on.

Posted by: Attila at 10:55 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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Islam in the Indian Ocean

Laurence has a plan that's absolutely diabolical.

I don't condone it, of course. But I wouldn't be 100% surprised if this were attempted.

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January 14, 2005

Clint Eastwood Lays Down the Law

Has everyone heard this story now? I got it from Larry Elder, and then grabbed this account off the web.

Clint Eastwood was at the National Board of Review Awards dinner in New York on Tuesday, accepting an award for Million Dollar Baby. Michael Moore was also at the event, having received a "Freedom of Expression" award. So Clint pointed out that he and Moore actually had a lot in common. For instance, "we both value freedom of expression." Then he looked right at Moore and added, "but, Michael, if you ever show up on my doorstep with a camera, I'll kill you."

The audience laughed, and Eastwood added, "I'm serious."

News accounts don't tell us if his eyes still twinkled, so I'm not positive what the yin/yang balance was in that moment.

But if he did mean it in a hostile way, and I were Michael Moore, I'm afraid I'd be tempted to call his bluff on this one.

Maybe not, though: there is The Power of Clint. One has to consider Eastwood Exceptionalism.

What, exactly, would happen if the sheriffs in Carmel were called out to Clint's place and encountered the enormous carcass of Moore in front of the former mayor's home? If there were a camera in Moore's hands, it might well be written off as a suicide.

Just sayin'.

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January 13, 2005

Don't Be Fooled by My Hazel Eyes.

I'm full of crap, too. Why, just look at the crap on my blogad column. It's a harbinger of crap to come.

For the next two weeks, the protocol for accessing Laurence's site is:

1) visit Little Miss Attila;

2) skim over her brilliant postings and be really impressed;

3) click on the This Blog Is Full of Crap ad on the right to access Lair's blog;

4) repeat daily, to get the best from both a SoCal former English major and the world's cleverest Texan Jew (eat your heart out, Kinky Friedman).

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Now THIS Is Art

Get your velvet Jeff while they're hot.

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January 12, 2005

You're Kidding.

Color me astonished.

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January 11, 2005

Celebrity Journalism

A good friend of mine once told me I should read a particular magazine, because it has "great celeb photos." I considered saying, I guess I still want to be your friend.

Celeb photos. This person, when he recognizes an actor or other performer on the street, actually stops to talk to them. I mean, he isn't obnoxious about it or anything, but unless I have a special feel for someone's work I can't imagine speaking to them. I usually just give a little half-smile as our eyes meet.

And, no—I can't imagine putting together a list of actors I've seen in person, even throwing out the events I've gone to on my husband's arm (which included a tribute to Steven Spielberg—as you might imagine, there were a lot of "names" in the room that night). We just see people in L.A., and most of us don't want to risk "bugging" them unless we have something significant to say.

I'll tell you the first, though: It was Peter Falk. I was in an ice cream parlor in Westwood Village (part of the Swensen's chain, IIRC). I was maybe 12 years old, and Falk had clearly been filming an episode of Columbo (the ones in the 70s—remember, I'm old), because he had his trenchcoat on and makeup on his face to make his complexion just a bit deeper. I was eating my ice cream and looked up suddenly to see a face I knew intimately. I think the shock registered on my face, and Falk smiled at me. Then he ordered his own ice cream. I've always hoped that I regained my wits and smiled back at him, but I don't remember for sure.

Five years later I got to know some friends who were making a short super-8 film that was a Columbo parody. Fifteen years or so after that, one of those same friends found himself to be a new business owner due to a chain of events that involved Peter Falk.

My point is that in L.A. (and New York, to some degree) the cult of celebrity is like oxygen: just in the air. I've been thinking about this as I consider getting involved in one or more projects that involve reporting on celebrities. At first blush, my nerdly indifference to these matters other people are so concerned with might appear to be a liability. Once I thought it through, however, I realized the fact that I don't succomb to any kind of hero-worship could actually help me in covering some of the entertainment figures around town.

After Peter Falk smiled at me, it was all over. I saw behind the veil.

At my Publishing Group meeting tonight the one of the celeb magazines had some staffers on hand discussing how they handled the "Brad and Jennifer" issue, which had to be rushed into print in a matter of days. One of the discussions that went into that cover story was a brainstorming session in which staffers sat around considering what ordinary Americans might be curious about regarding the breakup.

"Like, what sorts of questions might your mother ask?" one of the editors enquired of the others in the group.

And when this was quoted in our meeting I thought, "my mother? She'd want to know, Brad and Jennifer who? And why should I care?"

So I'm a second-generation nerd. The difference being, I can snap out of it at will.

You all be good. Think twice about wishing for fame and fortune: fortune alone is handier and safer. It also leads to less social awkwardness: you aren't followed by hordes of people on photo safari, and no one approaches you on the street, apropos of nothing, and just starts talking.

Posted by: Attila at 11:56 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Sun's Out

And I hope it stays that way. There's water flowing through our yard, like there has been for the past week and a half. All our footpaths are little streams, and there's an almost-mildewy scent in the air that suggests to me that the leach fields for our septic system are underwater. Even in between rains, the water just will not stop coming.

When I went out last night in a not-too-heavy rain I saw roads closed all over, since the local hillsides have started giving way. There's one tree down in our neighborhood, and there's been hardly any wind: it's just that when the hills are saturated and losing soil due to fast erosion, there's not too much holding the trees in place.

If we get high winds in the next month this town will lose a lot of houses: there are a lot of very large trees around here, and some of them will fall down in the wrong directions.

It's a beautiful day, and the clouds over the nearby mountains are as lovely as they always are. But with the weather forecasts mixed, I find myself scrutinizing the clouds, and more ambivalent than usual about the "drama" of the view: snow-capped mountiains. Lots of clouds.

The drainage system at the house across the street (and considerably uphill) from us has jumped its confines, so there's a fair amount of sand, mud and gravel on the road.

There are little waterfalls everywhere.

But all will be well if the rain doesn't start again.

As I said before, it's almost never been intense. There have been very few cloudbursts, other than the one a week ago that included hail and caught me in the parking lot at Ralph's wearing jeans and a cashmere sweater. ("Well, who knew?—real weather. If I lived anywhere else I'd have the sense to be wearing a jacket.")

Mostly what we're getting is a steady drumbeat of water, water, water quietly overwhelming all the systems we have in place to dispose of it. More rain in two weeks than we usually get in the entire rainy season.

If it lets up, and if we don't get high winds while the hillsides are still saturated, there won't be too much more property damage, and—I hope—no more people will die.

And I can go back to loving the way the clouds look over the San Gabriels.

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Cassandra

is asking for help in setting the President's agenda for the next four years. Please do your part.

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Well, Now.

That was lovely: nothing like spending two hours with your husband on a Monday evening, trying to guide the water out of the basement, as it seeps in through the little "weeping holes" in the wall. I've never seen the basement so flooded, even during that much-hyped "El Nino" year.

Plastic sheeting is horrible, since there's always a seam between the pieces, and the water makes its way in between them. This frustrates us, and makes our tempers fray. (There were difference in tactical notions: is it better to cover a wide area with the plastic sheets, or a smaller area that acts more like a funnel for the water? Each was convinced his/her own ideas were correct, so as I recall we alternated in whose got implemented.)

All I can think of is to make a hollow in the basement floor and install a decorative little streambed right along the middle. It would be a conversation piece, and it would impart bitchin' feng shui to the place. And it would come handy on years like this, when all of SoCal turns into a large fish bowl.

Somewhere, in Florida, I hear people laughing.

Come on in; the water's fine. And you won't even need your shades.

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January 10, 2005

MemoGate Report Is Out; So Are Four CBS Execs, Including Mary Mapes

Well, it's here. Editor and Publisher reports:

Four CBS executives were fired Monday following the release of an independent investigation that said a "myopic zeal" led to a "60 Minutes Wednesday" story about President Bush's military service that relied on allegedly forged documents.

The network fired Mary Mapes, producer of the report; Josh Howard, executive producer of "60 Minutes Wednesday" and his top deputy Mary Murphy; and senior vice president Betsy West.

<. . .>

Dan Rather, who narrated the report, announced in November that he was stepping down as anchor of the "CBS Evening News," but insisted the timing had nothing to do with the investigation.

The independent investigators -- former Republican Attorney General Dick Thornburgh and Louis Boccardi, retired president and chief executive officer of The Associated Press -- said they could find no evidence to conclude the report was fueled by a political agenda.

The network's drive to be the first to break a story about Bush's National Guard service was a key reason it produced a story that was neither fair nor accurate and did not meet CBS News' internal standards, the investigators said.

What do you want to bet some bloggers will see things differently?


According to RatherBiased, there is a “war” going on within CBS over how much of the report to release publicly—and how soon. How much is released (and when) will tell us just how serious the folks at CBS are about changing the corporate culture.

UPDATE: The report is now available as a PDF. Outside the Beltway has the link, extensive quotes, analysis, and a mini-roundup of blogger reactions.

The main controversy in the 'sphere seems to be whether this report is a "whitewash" of the situation (Hugh Hewitt), or "damning" (James Joyner). It is apparent to me that some of the language was softened a little bit before the report was released (the point is made, for instance, that there's no "absolute certainty" that the memos in question were forged; sure—if someone has a secret time travel machine, the documents might have been produced in the present day by an individual who hopped right back to the 70s, clutching the memos in his/her hot little hands).

But the litanies of egregious lapses of journalistic integrity in the report speak for themselves, and of all the recent media scandals (The New York Times, etc.) this one has by far the highest "body count."

Dan Rather may still have his job, and he may well be sitting in the anchor's chair for a few more months. But he's been publicly humiliated, as has CBS in its entirety.

Diplomatic language aside, the report is ultimately brutal in its assessment, and it brought CBS to its knees. All that remains to be seen is whether this is a one-time gesture or a permanent change in the way 60 Minutes does business.

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More from the Council!

The winning entries this week:

Council—
The Education Wonks give us StudentÂ’s Classroom Beating Caught on Videotape, which is a bit of a wake-up call regarding just how bad things have gotten in today's public schools.

And there's an honorable mention here: Resplendent Mango wrote a piece called Evacuation, in which she asks some provocative questions about crisis readiness in NYC.

Non-Council—

The ever-fascinating Diplomad has kept us up-to-date with the UN's ineptness when it comes to dealing with real problems like the tsunami disaster. In More UNReality . . . But the Dutch Get It he gives us more details regarding the actions of individual countries (India, the U.S. Australia, Holland) and the masturbatory antics of the United Nations.

There's another honorable mention here: Darn Floor uses the tsunami crisis to talk about what he calls "The Elephant in the Living Room" regarding the events in Thailand, Malaysia, Indonesia, India, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, Maldives, Somalia, Kenya, Tanzania and Seychelles: where the hell is God? For part of the answer, he refers us to the Book of Job. For some of the rest, read his entry.

The complete list of winners/runners up is here.

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Happy Feet Around the 'Sphere

This is one of those moments when one can only think, "why didn't anyone think of this before?"

Jeff at Beautiful Atrocities has put together "A Foot Fetishist's Guide to the Blogosphere," featuring the tootsies of many eminent bloggers. This is the kind of public service that should win him an award.

At least, from people who dig feet.

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January 09, 2005

So, I Need a Job.

Which means either a few more freelance clients or an actual staff positon. Send me a note at miss.attila AT gmail DOT com if you have any leads.

What I've been doing lately: fact-checking, copyediting, proofreading. (And some writing on the side.)

What I can do: coordination, juggling, research, writing. I'm pretty good at dealing with people. I have the full range of office skills (minus Powerpoint, which I could pick up quite quickly with a little help) and can use Mac and Windows machines.

What I've done: everything from an assistant/coordinator to a managing editor. I used to make the "maps" that determined where advertising and stories were placed within magazines. Called "page dummies" or "maquettes," these were like huge puzzles, because each advertiser had its rules for where its ad needed to be placed, but the magazine would also have its own rules—and frequently these conflicted. The overall effect had to be just right, as well.

What I'd like to do: either research/coordination, or another job in publishing—in print or online. (My print background is very heavy: I've done most jobs involved in putting out magazines, with the exceptions of sales and art direction. My online experience is limited to blogging, but I obviously know html and the general principles involved. I'd say that my computer skills are okay for a plain old human being, but low for a blogger. For instance, I've never actually written a computer program.)

Location: Anywhere in and around Pasadena and L.A. for a staff job, and I do proofreading/editing of books from my home (through the miracle of FedEx). So I can definitely telecommute if necessary.

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Samuel Beckett

"I can't go on, I'll go on."

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January 08, 2005

Time Out!

Remember how I've been reminding everyone that we—meaning Libertarians and Realio-Trulio Conservatives—were about to start squabbling in earnest, and implored everyone to be civil and respectful?

Well, it's started. And I'm having trouble finding civil or respectful on the menu.

I've got a Glock .40, and I don't want to sit the other right-wing bloggers down and make them sing "Kumbayah" like schoolchildren in "enlightened" classrooms.

But I will if I have to.

Posted by: Attila at 01:10 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Hosting Matters Down

Which means that Power Line isn't available, and if you want Glenn, you need to go to the Instapundit Backup Site (where he'll be posting tomorrow, Saturday, if the problem persists; right now, he's in bed).

It looks like it was a DDOS attack. (More on Denial of Service problems at WikiPed, including DDOS's.)

It's been alleged that the targets were right-wing sites; anyone know any left-leaning sites that use Hosting Matters?

Very odd.

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January 07, 2005

Instead of Money

If you're looking for a more tangible way to help the tsunami victims, here's a wayyou can buy new items (a list is provided), and have them sent to the troubled areas, via FedEx, for free.

If this is what you want to do, do it today. Let's get that plane filled with necessities for the survivors.

(Esmay.)

Posted by: Attila at 05:12 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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My Fiction Group

. . . says "less dialogue, more exposition and description." Then they all try to lessen the sting by telling me how marvelous my dialogue is: to hear them talk, you'd think the angels write dialogue like mine. It's so authentic. It crackles. It's the way people talk. They practically have orgasms when they hear my dialogue.

"Actually," I want to point out, "all my characters sound like me, and if I ever have to write about people who aren't smart-ass psuedo-intellctuals, I'll be in deep shit."

I say nothing. I'll add some description to the chapter, and it won't hurt me a bit.

Onward.

Posted by: Attila at 10:18 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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