Discusses our lives as conservatives, and how some of us must pretend not to be quite so super-rich:

One of the great secrets of being a conservative is that you only pretend to pay taxes. We let the liberals do all the heavy lifting. After all, they're the ones who support useless tax-funded social services and redistribution of wealth. Might as well be their wealth.

Looks like I will owe a whopping $5.40 -- that is if I canÂ’t manage to conceal my Halliburton dividends and all the 6 figure checks the Bush Administration paid me to pimp their agenda.

Otherwise itÂ’s a fat, fat refund check. All of which will be spent on war, my weather machine, and shiny pebbles to throw at the homeless intellectuals.

Of course in order to reduce my taxes I had to buy another Hummer. But the ash tray in the old one was full, so it seemed like the practical thing to do.

I can't help but think she's making a mistake, what with the Hummer and the shiny pebbles—but no diamond earrings. But, hey: it's her refund check.

A special "thank you" to the White House for all the little presents they've sent me over the years. (Pssst: they shouldn't look like pictures of Laura and George on the White House Lawn. They should look more like checks, with lots of zeros in them. There's a good lad, Karl.)

Posted by: Attila at 11:42 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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