If I print up a book of my poems, produced from when I was 15 to around 25, and sold it here, would you buy it?

It'll be a small volume of angry mutterings about the dark side of human sexuality, along with meditations on the importance of fast cars and loud rock music. Some rhyme and many do not.

It's terribly deep.

I think I'd like $12-$15 a volume for it.

Basically, I'm looking to make a quick buck, here. And who can blame me?

Posted by: Attila Girl at 10:00 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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1 One of the basics of marketing is the free sample - get them to want more by giving them a taste.

Posted by: Stephen Macklin at June 24, 2006 05:55 AM (DdRjH)

2 Yes. I've considered that, but of course I cannot publish them all online, or there would be no point in anyone buying the book. So stay tuned. I'll start blogging a few of 'em.

Posted by: Attila Girl at June 24, 2006 09:31 AM (4IuF2)

3 How deep? We are pretty shallow, you know. We don't want to drown, either. And would there be porn? I mean "art"? I've heard that sells a lot of things these days. Research proves research works! How angry? Mo Do angry? The gentler sex doesn't like to mix sexuality with anger like that!

Posted by: Darrell at June 24, 2006 11:40 AM (Bol+p)

4 No, not MoDo angry.

Posted by: Attila Girl at June 24, 2006 09:47 PM (4IuF2)

5 Make it $3.00 and PDF. If it sells big you might get a print publisher to take it on. And don't worry about free on-line publication of the whole magilla, that only whets the appetite for a real book.

Posted by: Alan Kellogg at June 24, 2006 09:51 PM (hY1v8)

6 Sell it by the word. Make them real good words, and raise the price. Maybe 10 cents each. Hemingway was paid more than any writer in history, $5,000 for a 1,000 word article by Esquire. That's $5 a word, but, of course, he had a following at the time that extended beyond Key West.

Posted by: clyde at June 30, 2006 08:36 AM (6m+7s)

7 My words are freakin' prodigious.

Posted by: Attila Girl at June 30, 2006 10:52 AM (4IuF2)

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And it will get worse before it gets better; summer is upon us.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 09:48 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Send me pix if you want to participate: I'm interested in the silliest examples you've seen of cell phone towers dressed up to look like something else. For instance, whenever they try to make them look like trees, they get the colors all wrong, and end up with very un-treelike constructions.

And then there is the church nearby that has added a ring of cells around the cross, as if it were simply a decorative element.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 08:04 AM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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I found out a few nights ago that Larry Elder's mother died last Friday.

She was a sweet, good-hearted woman, and the entire country will mourn for her. We all knew her from her appearances on Larry's show; some call her "America's Mother." Larry, of course, called her "the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court."

It made me angry, of course: that's always my first reaction to loss of this kind.

But what she did while she was here was truly amazing. An inspirational gal.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 07:58 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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The dinner crowd started filtering in at Denny's, so I wandered, waif-like, into the night in search of a table with a power outlet nearby.

Actually, I've been considering nuking the T-Mobile HotSpot subscription, but I have to admit that this is nice: hot chai to fend off the overzealous air conditioner, and all the web I need.

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I left work after lunch today so I could avoid L.A.'s nastiest freeway and get out to Redondo Beach early, and am now:

1) enjoying free internet access at the big D, while I

2) eat a grilled ham and cheese sandwich with French fries on the side.

Youngsters, beware; this is what illicit thrills look like when you're 43 years old.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 04:09 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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For wasting time.
There's a heart that burns,
There's an open mind."

Via Joyner, who didn't mention Neil Young or Linda Ronstadt. Not at all.

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They had ovaries of steel, those spy chicks. Jeff of Beautiful Atrocities commemorates one of them over at Agent Bedhead's digs.

More later, 'cause I have a few other good stories of distaff intel-gathering during that war.

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It's on the East Coast this year, so I'll need a few hundred dollars from you people to pay for my airfare. I was in Boston once, as a little girl of nine or so. We were driving through—my mother, my brother and I—during one of our New England road trips. (Weren't those a blast!)

I'm afraid I had a horrible allergic attack, though, so all I remember are violent sneezes and cobblestoned streets glimpsed through the back window of a red VW bug. If you send me to Siggraph this year, I'll suddenly become worldly and educated and stuff. Also, you'll get lots of juicy material on the latest trends in CGI.

Thanks!

Posted by: Attila Girl at 03:21 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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. . . is in trouble.

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Fucking amazing. I just saw Jesus Is Magic with Attila the Hub, and it was vicious, simply inhuman . . . and insanely funny. It's your basic standup routine, sandwiched by a silly story line. But this chick is beyond edgy&mdashedgy is eating her dust.

The title, in case you were wondering, is not particularly representative of the movie: she's got no issues with Christians. I'm a little concerned, however, that she might be a bit anti-Semitic. And the show is obscene. Yet it's funny, funny, funny.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 10:41 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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This year we're hearing and seeing a lot of crows. This might be okay, except that I haven't heard any owls in a while, and if the crow populations have gone up because we don't have enough owls in the neighborhood, we will be plagued soon by bunnies eating our grass.

When that happens, we have to step in to protect, quite literally, our turf.

The only creature that really bothers me is the homo sapiens: there have been far too many of those in the past few years.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 06:44 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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The site's back up. Hope you missed me. Absence, after all, makes something-or-other thingamajig.

I'm home, and happy, but after yesterday—volunteer work all morning, then housework and cooking all evening—I'm home, eating lotos flowers and surfing the web.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 03:08 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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"What is this?" my father asked.

"It's boysenberry pancake syrup from Knott's Berry Farm," I told him.

"I'm supposed to put this on the fish?" He seemed startled.

"Just fucking do it," I responded. "And forget what I said it was."

Sure enough, he loved it. "I'd never before thought of treating salmon
as if it were pancakes," he told me. But I'd known that if I heated
that stuff up on the stove and poured it in a gravy boat, it would be
good on fish—which if course I don't even eat.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 11:28 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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My lime tree has recovered from its acute case of not-being-watered (from a few depressions ago), and it's a lovely day.

I'm up early, and headed out to Culver City to hang with my DA homies for a few hours (Regional Group Board Meetings and whatnot), and then I'm back to make the house slightly less messy before my father and stepmother show up for a nice dinner of grilled lamb and salmon.

Life could definitely be worse.

In other words, sometimes the blessings are so numerous they start counting themselves.

Excelsior.

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You're just sort of going along, just about as depressed as usual—no more, no less—when you suddenly hit a genuine bump in the road and realize that depression isn't so bad at all. As a matter of fact, it's downright tolerable.

Oh, well. I was on the Westside, and my mother made me a nice chicken salad. That's something.

Don't make me count the rest of my blessings; I'm not ready to quite yet.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 07:33 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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lose this skin I'm in."

In more ways than one.

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I just hope that either women can be honorary pricks in this party, or that there's an auxiliary organization for Arrogant Cunts ('cause I have friends . . . you know).

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Sifu Tweety is a bright guy, and his rhetorical inflections are so similar to those on Protein Wisdom that I must conclude he and Jeff were separated at birth, and one of them is in fact the other's evil twin.

Which one is evil? Time will tell.

Via Jeff. (You saw that one coming, right?)

Posted by: Attila Girl at 07:40 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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The Ultimate Feline Championship?

Posted by: Attila Girl at 11:02 PM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
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1 Say, are you 18 or older? I want to link to you as 'Attila the Honey', but it would make me feel REALLY bad if I did and you were underage.

Posted by: Kevin at June 13, 2006 11:20 PM (+hkUo)

2 check out dc's latest - talking cats! it's hysterical!!! http://desertcat.blogspot.com/2006/06/talking-cats.html

Posted by: k at June 14, 2006 06:10 AM (Ffvoi)

3 Go ahead, Kevin--it's been done before. And I'm an adult, with a car and a house and a husband.

Posted by: Attila Girl at June 14, 2006 07:34 AM (4IuF2)

4 Way to blow smoke, Kevin! Some guys will say anything to get a personal response from the 'Great One" herself! In case that's not clear....You're safe! You could even vote for her for POTUS right now. If we had an election and she was running.

Posted by: Darrell at June 14, 2006 08:34 AM (8gtuV)

5 Ever notice how none of the "good things" are good anymore? First there was 'playing doctor." And now "cat fights!" How things change!

Posted by: Darrell at June 14, 2006 08:39 AM (8gtuV)

6 Hehe maybe so Darrell, but do you want to be heard calling a young girl 'honey'? Not worth the risk imo

Posted by: Kevin at June 14, 2006 09:19 AM (+hkUo)

7 BTW the match was not fair at all. Smokey still has 8 lives left! Of course he's not going to put as much into the fight.

Posted by: Kevin at June 14, 2006 09:23 AM (+hkUo)

8 Certainly not one with a martial arts background and plenty of ordnance!

Posted by: Darrell at June 14, 2006 11:54 AM (+POO0)

9 Of course, I didn't own any guns at all when I was underage. And I didn't start in the martial arts until I was over 30, oddly enough . . . Of course, I've decided I'm not really armed until I own either 1) a Colt Commander, or 2) a WWII-era Luger. WILL COPYEDIT FOR GUNS.

Posted by: Attila Girl at June 14, 2006 05:51 PM (4IuF2)

10 I can't get enough of those talking cats. I've probably watched that video a dozen times now.

Posted by: Desert Cat at June 16, 2006 06:46 AM (xdX36)

11 dc, so have i! i've probably swamped your outclicks with them - and that's besides the times i go straight there from my own copy of the link! talk about the best medicine...

Posted by: k at June 17, 2006 05:57 AM (wZLWV)

12 Here is another talking cat! And he has a lot to say even! http://www.illwillpress.com/newz.html?&referrer=http://www.jokeaday.com/ I thought it belonged here, too.

Posted by: Darrell at June 17, 2006 08:11 AM (fHO89)

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