1 F) Biting her fingernails. -B

2 The safe answer is (d). I'll go with that. Bob, those are the nails of a professional editor. Closely trimmed, but no evidence of biting. Middle finger primed and ready.

3 Ah! You understand the publishing industry! Actually, I solved the mystery: it was Mandy, getting rowdy and nipping at me/jostling against me when I crashed at my mom's place last week. I was reminded when I dropped by today to take a nap there, and remembered that she likes to get rowdy when her humans are tired (their resistance is lower, then, and she can pretend not to hear the "n-word" as she digs around on my mom's bed or on my favorite couch). Fortunately, my mother was awake, and led the girl away whenever she came over to bother me. I swear: if she weren't so cute, I'd make her into doggie stew.

4 Well I've been on the receiving end of a lot of those middle fingers. If I considered them sexual encounters (and as a man/nerd/geek you know I do), I have as many notches as Wilt Chamberlain or Julio Iglesias. Ah, good times! In my defense, with the type of writing I do there is often no room for creative license--certain technical jargon has to appear the same way always. Some creative types can't seem to grasp that concept. No, "undiscovered recoverable resources" can't be restated as "undiscoverable resources." Really. Ever. Never. Unless it's in the suicide note for my career. And let's not even start with the chemical names/reactions, etc. No room for word play there, either. Except in private, off-the-record, of course. There we laugh and laugh and laugh for hours at our cleverness. It's the most effective form of birth control, by the way. But you've already guessed that.

5 Well I've been on the receiving end of a lot of those middle fingers. If I considered them sexual encounters (and as a man/nerd/geek you know I do), I have as many notches as Wilt Chamberlain or Julio Iglesias. Ah, good times! Yes--but a lot of 'em came from driving around in Chicago, right? In my defense, with the type of writing I do there is often no room for creative license--certain technical jargon has to appear the same way always. Some creative types can't seem to grasp that concept. No, "undiscovered recoverable resources" can't be restated as "undiscoverable resources." Really. Ever. Never. Unless it's in the suicide note for my career. I cannot see how someone could have inserted the word "undiscoverable" in there; it certainly changes the meaning. When I was editing psychology papers for publication in an academic journal, I used to cover them with little sticky notes that contained arch little remarks about scientists' writing styles. But I did try to be restrained . . . I tried. And let's not even start with the chemical names/reactions, etc. No room for word play there, either. Except in private, off-the-record, of course. There we laugh and laugh and laugh for hours at our cleverness. It's the most effective form of birth control, by the way. But you've already guessed that. Yeah, well--I once did a newsletter for my dad that had a lot of chemical names in it. Pretty dry stuff. But it was work! You just need some engineer groupies--hot ladies who read your papers and then throw their underwear at you. How difficult can that be? Think of all the idiot rock and rollers who manage it just fine!

6 Yeah. One day we can compete with idiot rock-and-rollers. I believe. But I think it's best that the Japanese keep working on those robots. . .