When I woke up today I looked in the mirror and was delighted: my hair was so thoroughly mussed it was standing up in places. My lips were slightly chapped, and stained with blood around the edges. My teeth were covered with dried blood.

I looked far, far more like a vampire than I usually do—even when sleep deprivation aggravates the natural dark circles under my eyes.

I got up, preparing to creep up behind my husband and surprise him. But, tragically, he was out to breakfast with a mutual friend.

I should have trotted down to the local coffee shop where I assumed they were meeting, still in my robe, and loomed suddenly over their booth. But fear of arrest held me back.

I'll probably always regret this decision.

UPDATE: Attila the Hub thinks I was on the right track, but suggests it would have been better to run into the restaurant shrieking vs. trying the stealth route. He assures me that he and our friend Jack would have offered me a cup of coffee and a place at the table.

That's my honey.

Posted by: Attila at 11:52 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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