1 There was a time when I was a kid recovering from an awful bout of the flu and something finally loosened in my sinuses and I hawked up two balls of snot literally the size of marbles. I was in awe.

2 There was a day when a Lady never admitted to hacking up, excreting, oozing, or expelling anything. Now it's a major motion picture or a topic for Oprah during sweeps week. Today, love has to be so much more than blind.

3 Hey. At least we don't make fart jokes. Or, not as many as men do, at least.

4 Actually, we don't all think 'fart' jokes are all that funny. We just don't want to be vulnerable to the indefensible charge of not being a 'real' man. It's just like big breasts. I've always found every part of a woman sexually arousing. Every line, every curve, every angle--and everything else that stimulates the other senses. Those that feel none of these things can only point to the most obvious difference between clothed men and women--breasts. And following that logic, 'big' must mean more sexy. I don't see it that way. But sometimes just saying "yeah" when someone points out big breasts is a lot easier. Also safer than questioning their manhood. I've always found it amusing that when I've told a small-breasted woman how sexy she was, she questioned mine. And I never said that I didn't see those major motion pictures. All this from snot....

5 Hey. I've always had bad allergies: snot is an enduring theme in my life. And I happen to think the slim, small-breasted women are sexy as hell--particularly those with dark hair.

6 Me too! Including the snot...

7 There's that fascinating scene in Lady Chatterly's Lover wherein the gamekeeper Lady C is sleeping with says something about the fact that she's the kind of woman who isn't afraid to shit. (I'll have to look it up now: it struck me at the time as a very earthy passage.)

8 Very earthy indeed! I only skimmed "Lady C's Lover" as a randy teenager, stopping only when the right words caught my eyes. Your cited passage didn't make it...