Figured I'd write it now, and save time later.

Bush and Cheney will win in a landslide. Cheney will retire three years into the second term, and Condi Rice will become VP, thereby positioning her to run against Hillary in 2008. Jeb Bush, who think he'll be the next guy by that name to occupy the Oval Office, will arm-wrestle Condi for the '08 GOP nomination. He'll lose.

John Kerry will look even more haggard and pathetic over the next four years than Al Gore has over the past four. He'll lose his Senate seat and mope around the houses until the day Ter-AY-suh declares, "work, or walk." After they split, he'll couch-surf at his friends' and daughters' houses, a broken man.

John Edwards will become the new lib-punk TV commentator, eclipsing George Stephanopoulos.

Elizabeth Edwards will be found in a dark alley in D.C. with her throat cut and a double-ended dildo sticking out of her. Lynne Cheney will have an alibi.

So it goes. (Or will go.)

Posted by: Attila at 10:16 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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