"Why didn't you answer the phone?" she asked me Tuesday night.

"I was downstairs watching Fox news, trying to get a little info about Roberts. Not too much there; I'll have to hit the blogs."

"What do you think so far?"

"Well, I wanted another Clarence Thomas, but Roberts sounds smart. And I think he gets that the Court is not supposed to legislate. How about you?"

"I wanted a woman."

I pause as I wonder at the simplicity of my mother's criterion. There is, I decide, no criticizing her team spirit. Finally, I answer, "I'm not sure we have to keep the number of boobies on the Court steady at four."

"Oh, I was thinking we should have more like eight or ten boobies," she responds, showing off her math-teacher arithmetic skills.

"That sounds fine, Mom, but keep in mind that every time someone is appointed to a spot just because she's female, she's always a spectacular failure. I wasn't really happy with either Janet Reno nor Madeleine Albright."

"What a surprise; after all, they were appointed by a Democrat."

"A Democrat I voted for in 1992."

"You voted for Clinton?" How soon we forget.

"Yeah, Mom. Once, though; I didn't make the same mistake again."

This whole conversation is rather illuminating; it turns out that some of the opposition to Roberts would vaporize if he only got gender-reassignment surgery.

Easy as pie.

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