I trust that G-d will see to it that one of the following people show up, so that I don't cuss too much:

• The Stern Twin, who does not like to see her mother smoke, drink and cuss; nor her mother's associates. When we do, she gives us Stern Looks.*

• Baldilocks. Every time I cussed at the Palin rally (and the bloggers' "afterparty") the weekend before last she was able to point to a nearby child who might have overheard me. Eventually I realized that Juliette has a supernatural ability to transport children under the age of ten at will—provided someone in uses the F-word in her presence.

And it turns out that I used the F-word a lot. Who knew?

*The Stern Twin—whom I love as much as My Twin—always makes me think of this poem:

ON HEARING THAT THE STUDENTS OF
OUR NEW UNIVERSITY HAVE JOINED THE
AGITATION AGAINST IMMORAL LITERATURE

Where, where but here have Pride and Truth,
That long to give themselves for wage,
To shake their wicked sides at youth
Restraining reckless middle-age?
—W.B. Yeats

Posted by: Attila Girl at 10:36 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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