1 That's it. No more hugs for you unless you're celebrating a massive cash advance from your publisher or mourning the untimely demise of a popular celebrity. Hugs under other circumstances will be punishable by instant sex.

2 Apparently, lots of offenses are . . . I shall have to watch my step, so to speak.

3 Maybe it would be nice to cite the original source: http://www.thisisby.us/index.php/content/guidelines_for_platonic_friendship

4 Hmph. Sounds like a perfectly reasonable set of rules to me. They all boil down to one rule: You busted his heart already. Don't be so damn cruel after the fact.

5 Many, many years ago I stumbled on the perfect retort for when a girl I'm out with thoughtlessly (we were teenagers, thoughtlessness was mandatory) commented on another guy. "He's not my type." Delivered in a deep-pitched rumble, that line serves perfectly to return the girl's attention to the boy she's with. If only my voice had been a deep-pitched rumble when I was 17, my life in those days would have been so much better...

6 He merely drew a line. "That side of the line is the lovers section. We are not lovers. That was your choice. If you go over there, I'll assume you've changed your mind."